- Ensign Brad Boimler: I can't believe she used to date Jet! That guy's like a Kirk sundae with Trip Tucker sprinkles.
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: I'm not messing around. Barb is like, way, way way out of your league.
- Ensign Brad Boimler: Not out of Jet's league. I--I gotta go get jacked. Here we go!
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: Brad, when a Starfleet relationship seems too good to be true, then, red alert, man, it probably is.
- Ensign Brad Boimler: You think she's cheating on me?
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: No! I think she's a secret alien who's gonna eat you or a Romulan spy or a salt succubus or an android or a changeling or one of those sexy people in rompers that murders you just for going on the grass!
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: So, Barb's not a Dauphin, but I haven't ruled her out as a surgically altered Cardassian spy or a transporter clone or, bear with me, bear with me, a Suliban. Right, right? A Suliban.
- Mixtus II Representative: The impact on our environment would affect both of us! We'd have to move our whole civilization!
- Captain Carol Freeman: I know, but how can-wait, both? What do you... what do you mean, both? How many people are in your civilization?
- Mixtus II Representative: Me and my wife.
- Captain Carol Freeman: There are *two* fucking people on your whole fucking planet?
- Mixtus II Representative: Well... yes. We're, uh, we're rich.
- Captain Carol Freeman: Implode the moon.