Star Trek: Lower Decks (TV Series)
No Small Parts (2020)
Jack Quaid: Ensign Brad Boimler
Quotes
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[Mariner has beamed down to the surface of Beta III to hand out art supplies to the children, so that they won't start worshiping Landru again]
Ensign Beckett Mariner : [to children] Art supplies! Get your art supplies! We got paints! We got brushes! We got a spiky, pencil, twirl-around thingy. Boost your creativity! Express yourself! Stop praying to a computer!
[sees Boimler walking up]
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Hoo boy, incoming lecture in five, four...
Ensign Brad Boimler : [grabs some supplies from Mariners container] Who wants crayons? Here you go, kid. Way better than the red hour.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Since when do you break protocol?
Ensign Brad Boimler : [takes off uniform top, which still has his communicator pin on it] I'm just tired of you getting to do all the good stuff while I stick to the rules.
Commander Jack Ransom : [through Boimler's communicator] Ensign Boimler, do you read?
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Whoa-ho-ho, look at Brad Boimler being cool for once. *gasp* Wait, is this because of my teachings?
Ensign Brad Boimler : Okay, you don't teach. You just instigate chaos.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Exactly! Helpful, character-building chaos.
Commander Jack Ransom : [through Boimler's communicator] I can hear you, can you hear me?
Ensign Beckett Mariner : [on Cerritos's bridge, through open comm line] Aw, Boims! I thought you were gonna get stuck in middle management,
[back on Beta III]
Ensign Beckett Mariner : like this pathetic little fly in amber, like --
[on bridge]
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Oh, like Ransom!
Commander Jack Ransom : I am not a little fly in amber!
Ensign Beckett Mariner : [on Beta III] What did it, huh? My constant mockery? My non-stop prodding? My downright-dangerous hazing?
Ensign Brad Boimler : No, no. Look. If you have to know, I found out about your secret.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : You mean never eating after 7:00? It's a miracle, right? I mean, it does work, you should try it.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Captain Freeman is your mom.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : [angrily] Yeah, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Oh, come on, Mariner. The captain's your mom.
[on bridge comm, where everyone can overhear the planetside conversation]
Ensign Brad Boimler : Your dad's an admiral. You're basically Starfleet royalty.
[Rutherford and Tendi exchange surprised looks]
Ensign Brad Boimler : How cool is that?
Ensign Beckett Mariner : [on Beta III] Shut the fuck up right now, Boimler. Shut your fucking mouth!
Ensign Brad Boimler : This is a good thing! Now we can both do some good and you'll just, you know,
[on bridge, through comm]
Ensign Brad Boimler : keep us out of trouble with your mom...
[Captain Freeman is getting very upset]
Ensign Beckett Mariner : What? No, that is not how...
Ensign Brad Boimler : I just don't understand why it's such a secret. I'd be telling everyone.
Captain Carol Freeman : [shoving ops officer out of his seat] Move!
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Dude, I do not want people knowing my mom is my mom!
Ensign Brad Boimler : Okay, okay. I'm not gonna tell a soul.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : I'm being serious! Shut up!
Ensign Brad Boimler : [teasingly, with his eyes closed] So, uh, does Captain mommy give you, uh, sweet little captain kisses?
[Mariner and Boimler are being beamed up, though Boimler doesn't notice]
Ensign Brad Boimler : *kiss* *kiss*
[notices he's now on the bridge of the Cerritos]
Ensign Brad Boimler : *SCREAMS*
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[Boimler wants Mariner's recommendation for a promotion to the USS. Sacramento]
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Wait. No one would know me on the Sacramento. I'd be a nobody again, like you!
Ensign Brad Boimler : I'm not a nobody. I...
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Maybe *I* should apply to the Sacramento.
Ensign Brad Boimler : [sarcastically] I don't know. They might be looking for someone a little less criminally insubordinate.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : [officiously] Good call. I'd better start adjusting my attitude, sir.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Ew. Don't call me "sir"
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Yes, sir.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Don't.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : You technically outrank me, sir.
[rolls down her sleeves, then restyles her hair to be more uniform compliant]
Ensign Brad Boimler : What are you doing? Stop it.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Is that an order?
Ensign Brad Boimler : Yes. I mean, no.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Permission to go to my station, sir?
Ensign Brad Boimler : You have a station?
Ensign Beckett Mariner : Ha, ha. Good one, sir. Mm-hmm.
[walks away from their hallway bunks]
Ensign Brad Boimler : Nobody's gonna fall for that.
