- Front Desk Clerk: May I help you?
- Jennie Garth: Yep. Uh, we're checking in for the reunion panel.
- Front Desk Clerk: Name?
- Jennie Garth: Jennie. Garth. Jennie Garth. Um, I-I'm on the show that's having the big reunion party. Kelly Taylor?
- Front Desk Clerk: So is the reservation under Garth or-or Taylor?
- Jennie Garth: My name is Jennie Garth. I play Kelly Taylor...
- [indicating a nearby cardboard cutout]
- Jennie Garth: ...on the show.
- Front Desk Clerk: Oh, that's you.
- Jennie Garth: Yeah.
- Front Desk Clerk: Oh, you look so much older than her. Um, if I could just see some ID, I could figure out which name the reservation is under.
- Tori Spelling: Guys, excuse me. What's happening?
- Director: The show just got canceled. You've milked your brand from every angle. The network says there's no more story.
- Tori Spelling: [cut to her on the plane with Jennie] No more story? Can you believe that? Stuff just keeps happening to me. And just when I think things are slowing down, boom, I fall on a hibachi.
- Jennie Garth: Oh, I love that about you.
- Tori Spelling: So that's why I have a meeting set up next week. I'm gonna sell the network on another season of "Tori and Nate: Spelling the Beans".
- Jennie Garth: Well, I thought it got canceled.
- Tori Spelling: Yeah, but I need that paycheck. Mama's got six kids. Do you know how much college bribery money I'm gonna need?
- Tori Spelling: It's not cheating if you dream of kissing your ex-boyfriend, right?
- Jennie Garth: Uh, no. Just like it's not murder if you dream about killing your ex-husband.
- Jennie Garth: [hearing a group of drunk guys on their flight being guys] Tell me you're not Instagramming that.
- Tori Spelling: Us on our way to our "90210" 30th reunion, and these drunk yahoos in the back seat? Insta-gold. Smile.
- Jennie Garth: You are out of control.
- Tori Spelling: [taking a selfie] No. What I'm out of is money. This is gonna help.
- Tori Spelling: All these bills. $842 for Mommy and Me yoga? Great. I can't do that anymore. Namaste here.
- Nate: Babe, can we talk about this later?
- Tori Spelling: Oh. Right. Save it for when the cameras are rolling. Okay.
- Nate: That's not what I meant.
- Jennie Garth: Can't Nate get a job?
- Tori Spelling: Hopefully. He has an audition for an NHL announcer tomorrow. I'm just hoping his voice is as good as his slap shot used to be. But at least this reunion's gonna cover our bills for the month.
- [squirming in her seat]
- Tori Spelling: Excuse me. Why is there no room on this plane?
- Jennie Garth: It's called coach.
- Tori Spelling: [genuinely confused] What is it called?
- Shay: This weekend is all about you.
- Brian Austin Green: Please. It's a "90210" event. You know it's gonna be a thunderdome of girl drama.
- Shay: You're not gonna be there by yourself. Who else is going with you?
- Brian Austin Green: Ian's going for sure. Loves a good convention. Gives him a chance to meet his fans and build his brand.
- Gabrielle Carteris: [on the phone] Impartial? Of course I can be impartial. That's my duty as president of the Actors Guild of America. I got to protect actors when they make a complaint. What's going on?
- [listening for a moment]
- Gabrielle Carteris: Are you kidding? Who's the director?
- [listening again]
- Gabrielle Carteris: Oh... I'm gonna kill him.
- Jason Priestley: Chaz, buddy, can you dig a little deeper? I mean, I-I need you to make the audience feel your regret when you tell Cassidy...
- Chaz Bryant: I-I was saving the city. I-I don't give a crap about Cassidy. And I don't need acting advice from you.
- Jason Priestley: Just go stand on your mark.
- Chaz Bryant: Bro, you were a pinup boy for horny teenage girls. Okay, just get over yourself. All you'll ever be is Brandon Walsh.
- [Jason chuckles sardonically and sighs, then slugs Chaz]
- Jennie Garth: Don't say anything about Mark, okay? I don't need everybody knowing about failed marriage number three. I can already hear the clickbait. "From America's Sweetheart to Sad Spinster."
- Tori Spelling: Oh, stop, you're gorgeous. He's an idiot for leaving you. What the hell was he thinking?
- [flashback to three days prior; Jennie angrily throws a golf club into the house pool]
- Jennie Garth: What the hell was I thinking?
- Kyler: Mom, the drama. Can't you just throw his stuff in the garbage?
- Jennie Garth: [throwing in a golf bag full of clubs] Yeah, but it's not nearly as satisfying.
- [sighing]
- Jennie Garth: Okay.
- [return to the plane]
- Jennie Garth: He said I'm too aggressive. Makes me want to bash his brains in.
- Jennie Garth: I'm not in the right space to be around all these people.
- Tori Spelling: It's gonna be fine. Silver lining: Shannen won't be there.
- Jennie Garth: But Jason will.
- Tori Spelling: I love Jason.
- Jennie Garth: Of course. He's America's golden boy. Ugh, whatever.
- Jennie Garth: [after the frustrating attempt to check into their hotel] Oh, I'm gonna destroy this place on Trip Advisor.
- Tori Spelling: Oh... I get that you're edgy. I feel edgy, too. In fact, I didn't think I was gonna be this nervous. I am so... nervous. I haven't seen Brian in almost twenty years. I'm kind of freaking out a little bit.
- Jennie Garth: Okay, he's married, you're married. You guys both have kids.
- Tori Spelling: And I understand that, but we still have a history. I lost my virginity to him.
- Jennie Garth: On the show.
- Tori Spelling: Life imitates art, remember?
- Jennie Garth: Oh, right.
- Tori Spelling: I feel like I'm sweating so bad. Do I smell?
- [sniffing her armpits]
- Tori Spelling: Oh, no. Jen, I stink.
- Jennie Garth: I didn't want to say anything.
- Tori Spelling: Okay, I got to go to the room. I'm gonna freshen up, and...
- [seeing Brian descending on an escalator]
- Tori Spelling: Nope, he's right there. Oh, my god.
- [turning to leave]
- Tori Spelling: Uh, I'm gonna slip out.
- Jennie Garth: Oh.
- Tori Spelling: [spotting Jason] Oh, there's Jason.
- [turning and seeing Ian and Gabrielle enter from outside]
- Tori Spelling: Oh, god, Ian and Gabby.
- Gabrielle Carteris: [after hearing Jason punched an actor on set] So, I, uh... I had to hear about this from the guild?
- Jason Priestley: Yeah, it's, um... it's my dialing hand.
- Gabrielle Carteris: Mm, does it hurt?
- Jason Priestley: Yeah.
- Gabrielle Carteris: [squeezing his injury] Good.
- Tori Spelling: [after reuniting with Brian] Did you see that?
- Jennie Garth: Yeah.
- Tori Spelling: After twenty years, "Hey, Tor." Two words, that's all I get?
- Audience Member: Hi, Brian.
- Brian Austin Green: Hi.
- Audience Member: Um, I was just wondering. Do you know when Shay's new album is gonna drop?
- Brian Austin Green: Um... I-I try not to get involved in her music career, but I am her number one fan. Any other questions?
- [hands go up]
- Brian Austin Green: That do not involve my wife?
- [the hands all go down]
- Brian Austin Green: Thought so.