Reviews

Harry Dean Stanton. Oh.... the pathos -- ** How we wept after Harry Dead, I mean Dean, put in his 9 second performance. I should note that I saw this movie with an audience composed mostly of elderly people, most of whom walked out (on two canes, slowly) during the show. I started this movie as a young pup, but rode away on my John Deere lawn mower and didn't feel a day over 94 years old.

Why did they even have Harry Dean's name on this thing? It's not like Ms. Montenegra in "Central Station" -- I mean : Get a grip. That wasn't a role. It was money for his electric bill for the month of December and possibly a favor to Lynch, who, by the way, made that the most irritating sound track since Erasorhead.

If you're itching to see the world (well .. Iowa(y)..) through the eyes of an old man and can't wait to be one (or woman), then get your walkers fired up and get over there. It performs that purpose relatively well,

Brazlion.

Some might call it nitpicking, but I call it "Domestic Terrorism". I viewed this movie at a twilight showing, thus exposing myself to some of mankind's most devious forms of torture.

Since this happened to be what I'd call a pretty funny movie, the woman seated behind me at some point during the hilarity; apparently plotzed. (The Yiddish code for an out-of-control laughing-extravaganza). By itself, it would merely have been another twilight-time torture, but my neck was directly in front of her spittle-spewing mouth which made for a continuously finely applied sheen to the back of my neck. The nature of plotzing is ongoing. I wouldn't change seats for some reason and it's really tough to tell someone to STOP having such a good time..

Main characters: Robert De Niro as the BIGTIME mobster Paul Vitti, and Billy Crystal as the psychiatrist Dr. Ben Sobel. Both of them were excellent in their respective roles; Crystal as the unceasing nebbish and De Niro stretching a bit out of character as a powerful mobster suffering from Panic Disorder. What ensues is basically "therapy at gunpoint". Since therapy has become the cliché of the 20th century, it IS terrifically funny to watch it enacted by these particular two characters. Lisa Kudrow has the part that can only be described as the thankfully small "Lisa Kudrow" part. Among the pool of so-called talent known as "Friends" (a weekly sitcom), Lisa is probably the top talent of this motley crew, but saying "huh?" and "Uh-uh" is probably not going to win her a best supporting actress role in this movie.

I can't give too much more away because my biggest nit pick of all is that movie trailers of late have been far too comprehensive. There were so many good lines in this show that I was constantly irritated that I'd heard every one of them during the trailers I'd seen over the last month. If you're going to show the entire movie in the trailer, then let's just start charging for the trailers and stop wasting time and money on the movies.

I'd go on but I really need - - to wash my neck.

Yikes! All I can hear is Nick Nolte screaming something or other about his shoes being too tight and Penn's pathetic sulking (for a change).. Doctor: Will this stop soon?

Did he go to some special sulking school, like the British Academy for Too Much Sulking or does Sean Penn playing Sean Penn over and over qualify as 'acting'? I bet Sean think's it does.

Why are guys like Nick Nolte, who are by definition, the best imaginable targets for any enemy, able to walk, 6 feet tall, talking on the phone, through a crossfire thicker than a plague of locust without EVER getting hit?

Duh! There's no glory in war and death? Well golly maw.. that's sure a lesson that we needed. -- So we've saved Ryan's privates and now have learned that oh-so-insightful lesson as well.

In case you're getting the impression that this is some sort of negative comment on the 'film' , I should mention that I really did like that guy that wandered around being philosophical in case any of us in the audience were too drunk or stupid to think for ourselves. It was like that bouncing ball of Mitch Miller's.

I give it no stars but am eternally grateful for the theater since it had REAL BUTTER.

And by the way: In case you should forget. For the 10,000,834th time!

War is probably not a good thing.

I've seen at least 10-20 post-Vietnam movies, nearly all concentrating on the war or the aftermath of a war in a country that most Americans know absolutely nothing about (including me).

What a relief it was to learn something about the years of mistreatment Indo-Chine (or Vietnam) suffered at the hands of the French colonists who seem to have the 'reverse-Midas-touch' when it comes to their land possessions. Then again, I suppose this is the way of all colonists who invariably mistreat their 'possessions'..

The acting was terrific by all involved. Learning the pre-war background behind the extreme North/South polarizations and seeing all the strife that's touched Vietnam was the best lesson I've yet gleaned from any Vietnam movie.

I think a cure has finally been developed for Oliver Stone.

As high a rating as possible.

Ok.. I give in. This movie and the fact that I just viewed it on television are the penultimate proof that evil DOES exist in this world.

George C. Scott looked as if he was about to keel over and die at any given point during the movie and in fact, I had to watch the credits afterwards to see if the movie was dedicated to the memory of George C. Scott. I don't know if it was just the torture of having to read that 'script', assuming there was one, or if he was sliding away into some other dimension for medical reasons unknown.

On the bright side: I've never seen more or better "Satanic human-stuck-to-the-ceiling" scenes. It's too bad they saved them all for the last 20 minutes of the movie, but that may not be accurate as I took several naps so as to be 100% alert for the amazing action..

I probably had popcorn popping for 80% of the movie because of the two hours of 'plot setup' which gave me plenty of spare time. In a movie like this, it's worth an extra star.

All in all: In spite of the fact that this movie had NEITHER a chase scene NOR Adreiene Barbeau (although she may have been in that nutty lightning hell pit at the end), I'd have to give this movie at least 2 stars just for keeping me from watching the Jerry Springer show.

Was this a Made-for-TV movie? Ok.. A Made-for-absolutely-no-reason movie?