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Reviews
The Gauntlet (1977)
squib city
This is without a doubt the dumbest movie I've seen in a while. And don't get me wrong - I love Clint Eastwood flicks, love a good chase film, and enjoy seeing things blow up real good. But this? Gimme a break.
Did someone decide that they were going to use more squibs than anyone ever had in the history of film-making? This film makes the closing scene of Bonnie & Clyde look restrained. It makes Sam Peckinpah shoot-em ups look like 2001. There's a lot of shooting in this. A LOT.
But it's dumb shooting. It's "let's surround the house and level it with lead" kind of stuff. Are cops that dumb? Okay... maybe some of them are that dumb. But "The Gauntlet" scene at the end takes the cake. Two lines of cops on the opposite sides of the street shooting at a bus?? Not likely. There'd be more fatalities on the other side of the street than in the bus. And when Sondra avenges the day by blasting the bad guy (who is standing in a crowd of people) nobody flinches - not the dozens to his left, the dozens to his right, or the dozen guys the bullet would have gone through who were standing behind the guy.
Did I give anything away? Oops... sorry. But the film is a waste of time. Rent The Getaway - the original with Steve McQueen. Better film. More fun. And oh hey... a PLOT!
Clockwatchers (1997)
The Working Girl of the 90s (and I mean that in a good way)
Remember Working Girl? That 80s corporate-Cinderella fairy tale that had under-appreciated secretary/wiz Melanie Griffith getting her day in the sun when her evil boss is laid-up in the hospital? Think that ever happens? Of course not... it was typical 80s we're-all-gonna-get-rich pie-in-the-sky dreck and I forgot most of the movie by the time I passed the popcorn counter on the way out.
Enter Clockwatchers - the 90s take on corporate life where the central characters aren't even granted the luxury of being employees of the company. They're temps: name-less office drones doing the mindless grunt jobs that no one else in the company wants to do. But they're people. Real people. And in Clockwatchers they're written as characters that are memorable.
Clockwatchers introduces us to the daily grind of these gals without getting preachy and sounding like an anthem to them. There's the ill-motivated, terminally withdrawn new gal, the seasoned veteran, the flirty actress-wannabee and the prissy gal who is engaged to the dope (now that I think of it - the characters make it sort of a Dilbert meets Platoon). It's very funny but in a low-key style that people more accustomed to laff-a-minute sitcom humour may get bored with. But with excellent performances by Toni Collette, Parker Posey, Lisa Kudrow (who I usually can't stand) and Bob Balaban it's well worth a view.
Eko eko azaraku III (1998)
Shockingly stupid, amazingly tame.
This has got to be one of the DUMBEST movies I've ever seen! Even for a cheesy Japanese splatter-flick it's bad! And it's not even a splatter flick - it sells itself on the "Maximum Gore Dangerous Little Gal" ticket but for all of its boasting I've seen bloodier episodes of Mattlock.
In a nut-shell: Mix two parts Buffy The Vampire Slayer, one part Sailor Moon and a splash of IMPLIED oh-so-chic girl-on-girl action. Add a deserted school dorm, someone's overgrown garden and seven young gals who should have been in school that day and BINGO - you've got Misa: Dark Waste of Time.
It's horribly shot. The music is dreadful. There isn't a character in the script. The plot is non-existent. And the 'actors' (and I use that term loosely) should go back to their day jobs.
Basically a movie made to cater to Japanese salary-men and their unending desire to see girls in high school uniforms. If that's what butters your toast, go for it. If you expect something more - forget it!!
Soldier (1998)
What were they thinking when they shot THIS?!?!
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome meets Pale Rider in space.
Kurt Russell takes a run at the Terminator character and manages to turn in a performance that redefines 'wooden'. Some would say that his character was SUPPOSED to be wooden... the stone killer.... socially alienated... and I got that part, trust me. But his one 'troubled reluctant hero' expression ("More brow, Kurt! Furrow your brow!!!") and his six forgettable lines in the movie didn't help convey his character much.
Great set design, though! The Garbage Planet was very interesting. Too bad there wasn't much going on in it...