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Immortal Yi Soon-shin (2004–2005)
Terrific docu-drama about one of the world's greatest military leaders
31 July 2005
Warning: Spoilers
"Immortal Admiral Yi Soon-shin" (there are at least three ways of transcribing it into English) tells the true story of a Korean naval officer who forged the fleet at his disposal into the greatest naval power on Earth in the 1590s, far away from the empire-building exploits of the Spanish, Dutch, Portuguese, and English -- and thus far from consideration in Western history books . Closer to home for him, Japan, which was such a terror to the European powers, had overrun Korea as a prelude to conquering the declining Ming Empire in China.

The poorly organized, badly trained, and ill-equipped Koreans were no match on land for the Japanese, who were fresh from their civil wars, which had seen their forces develop from primitive feudal levies into crack modern formations which would not be matched in Europe for two hundred years. With Korea on the verge of becoming a mere footnote to history, Yi soon-shin appeared to command one of Korea's fleets. What Themistocles was to Greece and Nelson to England, Admiral Yi was to Asia.

In engagement after engagement he beat the numerically superior Japanese fleets, sometimes destroying dozens of Japanese ships without a single ship of his own being lost. Yi's most famous contribution to naval warfare was the "turtle ship," the culmination of a technology which had been developing for years in Korea. The hulls of the turtle ships were clad with iron, and a steeply pitched, iron-clad roof prevented Japanese cannonballs from penetrating the deck, while spikes pointing outward from the superstructure prevented boarding. Aside from the spikes, the turtle ship technology was nearly identical to that used by the Confederate Navy when they converted the wooden ship _Merrimac_ into the iron-clad _Virginia,_ which terrorized Hampton Roads until the little _Monitor_ appeared to fight it to a standstill.

The Japanese, glorifying land warfare above all else, made no effort to copy the turtle ships and Admiral Yi went from victory to victory, completely cutting the Japanese supply line and leaving the tens of thousands of Japanese troops on the Korean peninsula to be slowly ground under the Ming army.

Admiral Yi bears comparison to another commander besides Themistocles and Nelson, General George S. Patton. Like Themistocles, Yi had to wheedle and maneuver to get the resources and the permissions he needed to wage a successful naval war; like Patton he was periodically reprimanded and removed from power, only to be replaced as soon as his successor proved incapable of using the navy as successfully as had Yi. "Bulmyeolui Lee Soon-shin" portrays Yi Soon-shin from childhood to adulthood, as do so many Korean historical soap operas, and, typically, we see the ups and downs of his life, and see how good friends helped him to attain the rank of Admiral and attempted to deflect criticism of him.

We also see the officers and men who made up the fleet, from wandering vagabonds turned courageous sailors, to nobles who learn to subordinate their Confucian family loyalties to the greater needs of the navy and the country.

"Bulmyeolui Lee Soon-shin" is in Korean with English subtitles, and I am pleased to say that I was the one who submitted the basic information to IMDb for it. I hope that those who know Korean will please contribute more details of the cast and crew.

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*SPOILER WARNING*

I compared Admiral Yi to Lord Nelson for the influence he had upon world history. Yi, Nelson, and Themistocles must surely rank as the three greatest fighting admirals in history. There is another eerie similarity between Yi and Nelson: both were shot and killed by enemy snipers in their final battles, which they both won posthumously. In Admiral Yi's case, his death is particularly sad because there was little doubt that the engagement in which he was killed would have been the final one of the war -- he won the war but he was not destined to see the peace.
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Heart of the City (1986–1987)
A first rate show, rather controversial in its day
26 July 2005
"Heart of the City" was a first rate show, and it was rather controversial in its day. I think that the reason it was first rate was that it was made by people who were willing to *let it* provoke controversy.

One talking point I still remember to this day was the double-standard the father (Robert Desiderio) used when his son had sex for the first time and when his daughter wanted to give up her virginity, too. He would sit on his son's bed, as I recall, and explain the facts of life to him and say how proud he was that his son was being so mature about this monumental decision, etc., etc. When it came to his daughter, however, it was more like, "You're grounded until your 21 for even *thinking* about sex!"

Jonathan Ward and Christina Applegate were very good as the two kids, and they had a good on-screen chemistry with Robert Desiderio. It was a family situation which was realistic, unlike some of the contrived garbage TeeVee tries to foist on us most of the time.

The police procedures were done very realistically. I still remember that (unlike most shows!) the writers managed to get the police unit designations right for radio chatter. The father, for example, was a "King" unit -- the designation for an LAPD detective.

This was a very good series and deserves to be on DVD. I have the whole series on tape, but I would *still* buy a DVD of it. BTW, as I say on the message board, sorry -- I won't make copies of the tapes for anyone. :(
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3/10
God-awful BAD
8 May 2005
Warning: Spoilers
It's difficult to express just how atrociously bad this Duck shoot is. The Ducks have, en bloc, won scholarships to the snobbish private school Banks (Vincent LaRusso) attends. This offends the sensibilities of the varsity hockey team. WHY it offends them is never made entirely clear, since the Ducks will probably assure continuing championships for their school, establishing a "dynasty" tradition of which the current varsity players will be the spearhead. Much mayhem ensues as the two rival cliques play vicious trick after vicious trick upon one another. (I don't consider covering someone with fire ants or dining and dashing on an $853 restaurant bill to be "jokes" -- they are just plain sadistic.) A very thinly veiled sadism is apparent throughout D3. The final victory of the Ducks is *not* achieved through skill, expertise, or courage -- it is achieved by physically brutalizing the varsity team. (Is it a spoiler to reveal what any eight year old knows even before watching a Mighty Ducks movie? They *never* lose The Big Game. Watching these things is about as suspenseful as watching moss grow.) In the most egregious act of brutality in the movie, one of the varsity players is hurled off the rink, through the glass enclosure, and into the stands, which is physically impossible, which may be why the crowd grows wild cheering for it -- ignoring the very real possibility that the varsity player has broken one or both legs, possibly his spine, and has undoubtedly received a concussion. This is a *good* thing because the now permanently crippled high school student doesn't like Pacey ... er ... Charlie.

One of the stupidest moments is the saving of the scholarships of the Ducks (yeah, the same old stuff Disney has been spewing out since Tommy Kirk and Kurt Russel were doing teen comedies for them). Their attorney (of course the Ducks have an attorney!) argues that the scholarships offered to and accepted by the Ducks is a contract binding the school to allow the Ducks to play hockey. Hunh? What fool writes a scholarship grant which gives the recipient power over the grantor and the school? What kind of Mickey Mouse lawyer did the school have writing those things? (Maybe that was the problem -- they needed one of the Mouse's attorneys.) Even more idiotic is the moment when the Ducks are allowed to keep their own team name and colors instead of being Eden Hall Warriors. What? The baseball, basketball, and football teams are going to change *their* team names and colors because of a freaking *hockey* team?!?! In Canada, maybe, but this ain't set in Canada.

Yeah, the kids are cute, but ... well, that is the *only* thing this piece of duck dreck has going for it. Watch it with the sound off and look at their perfect, pretty punims. Nothing anyone says in this thing is worth listening to. It is certainly nothing that children should be allowed to watch -- this thing is so viciously, sadisticly violent that I think the MPAA should have given it an "R" rating -- no one under 17 admitted without a parent or guardian.
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Abuse (1983)
8/10
Seared into my memory
27 February 2005
I first saw this film at a special screening in 1982 or 1983, and it is so burned into my memory that NOTHING that Raphael Sbarge has done since can supplant some of the scenes from "Abuse," which is not to disparage his 21 years of subsequent work, but to praise this film. I have made it a point to try to see EVERYTHING else Sbarge has appeared in because I was so awed by "Abuse."

SPOILER: I am using "hot" terms to describe this movie because of one scene in particular, in which Thomas is pinned to the floor by his parents and burned with a lit cigarette. The scene is unbelievably shocking and demonstrates the horrible abuse which is too often visited upon Gay kids.

One of the saddest things about "Abuse" is the number of people who will find the relationship between Thomas and Larry (the Gay man who tries to rescue him) to be somehow "more abusive" than the torture of Thomas by his parents!

This is not a film for the squeamish, but I highly recommend it.
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Road Trip (2000)
2/10
I laughed once
22 August 2004
I have been a fan of Breckin Meyer since he first hit the screen. I've seen some bad stuff just because he was in it, but NOTHING could have prepared me for how mind-numbingly, stupifyingly, baaaaaaaad this movie is. I laughed once. *Exactly* once, and that was in the brief moment when one of the characters leaves the frat house after losing his virginity, but only during the brief moments when he was high-fiving extras. The moment he began interacting with the leads the film turned south again.

Tom Green was so stupidly unfunny in this movie that he could have been replaced by a marionette operated by a mute with no decrease in the quality of the performance.

Even Breckin's most ardent supporters should avoid this piece of dreck. People who don't know who he is, but who see this film, should take my word for it that he IS a funny actor. Unless he is in an appallingly unfunny movie ... like this one.
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Movie Madness (1982)
2/10
Abysmal!
7 August 2004
I chuckled a few times during this movie. I laughed out loud during the notarizing of the margarine company handover (pun intended).

There are three segments in this movie. The first one is supposed to be a spoof of "woman 'grows up' and launches career" movies. The Tampax® box was the funniest thing in this segment. Most of the cast members aren't listed here on IMDb. They are the lucky ones. Few other people will be able to connect this thing to the ruin of their acting careers.

The second segment is a spoof of "sharkish woman sleeps her way to the top and seizes control of huge industry" movies. Robert Culp has several funny moments, all physical humor, including the aforementioned handover. After his character dies the segment sinks lower and lower as Dominique Corsaire rises higher and higher. By the time she becomes First Lady I wanted to rip the cable out of the TV and watch "snow." I switched to Pakistani music videos instead. I don't understand Urdu, or whatever language the videos were in. It was still better than listening to the dialogue in this painfully dull "story."

Then came "Municipalians" with the *big* stars, half of them on screen for less than a minute: Elisha Cook, Jr., Christopher Lloyd, Rhea Perlman, Henny Youngman, Julie Kavner, Richard Widmark and ... *Robby Benson.* It's supposed to be a spoof of "young cop teams with hardened, substance abusing older cop who needs retirement *badly*" movies. The horizontal flash bar on the police car is very impressive. It was interesting seeing old RTD buses, and a Shell gas station sign, and an American Savings sign -- none of them are around anymore. Nagurski's "Never stop anywhere you might have to get out the car" made me smile momentarily. Then they discuss how boring the young cop is. A lot. Back and forth about how boring he is. That was as boring as this description of how boring it is. Nagurski's Law Number Four, "Never go into a music store that's been cut into with an acetylene torch," made me think that the music store is a real business at the actual location the dispatcher gave. Thinking about that was more interesting than the set-up for the gag which followed. Young Falcone (Benson) gets shot. A lot. He becomes a hardened cop like Nagurski. The segment keeps going. On and on. And on. It won't stop. It rolls relentlessly onward no matter how many times you wish he'd just *die* already so this thing will end. It doesn't. It goes on and on and on.... Then a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episode which I've seen four times already comes on. Thank God! This abysmal movie ended while I went to get the mail.
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Mind-Numblingly Bad Extended Commercial for Fox TV
23 May 2004
The only good thing about this hour-long, five times a week commercial for other Fox TeeVee shows is that it is filmed at Hollywood and Highland and the audience can look through the windows and watch the traffic outside. It's certainly more interesting than Ryan Seacrest, who seems to have no existence outside of the narrow world of "American Idol" and presenting the latest losers -- day after day after day after mind-numbing day. At what point do we get to grab hold of Nielsen viewers, shake them, and scream, "These people LOST! America has spoken! We do NOT want to ever see them again!"? Occasionally some publicist will manage to land an actual celebrity on the show, someone who ISN'T appearing on some other Fox TeeVee show later in the week, but such appearances are few and far between. Anyone with a Nielsen or Arbitron gig who watches this show should be reprimanded. Sternly. They deserve it for tying up an hour of airtime for the rest of us.
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6/10
Pitiful in comparison to the 1971 series
17 May 2004
I learned a big chunk of my English history from the 1971 series of this same name(http://imdb.com/title/tt0066714/combined), and it still ranks as an awesome event, if only in memory now. This one, for all its merits, falls flat in comparison.

A few weeks ago I tuned into this newer series and was shocked at how dull and insipid it seemed compared to the great drama of the original. Decades on I can still remember the thunder of individual lines from the 1971 series ("Anne, Queen of England, come into the court!"), the cruel sight of Henry showing Jane the money-grubbing trickery used by the monks whom she loved, the poignant desperation of Anne of Cleves and the strength of Catherine Parr. There is little memorable in the 2001 version.

The great moments of conflict are not acted out passionately in this history. They are merely narrated, or original documents are read. How stale and unprofitable by comparison to the first great "The Six Wives of Henry VIII"! Although it may be unfair to compare a documentary series with a drama, the producers and the BBC invited the comparison with their choice of title. If the goal is to teach history and teach it so that it is remembered, this version fails the test against the standard set in 1971. PBS, give us back the original!
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8/10
THIS is what the movies are all about!
11 April 2004
"The Living Playing Cards" (_Les Cartes vivantes_) is what cinema is all about -- *magic!* Méliès himself plays The Magician, and he is truly amazing as he performs card tricks on stage, acting well as he asks the audience if a card he has drawn is "our" card, then reacts with disappointment as he realizes it is not, but then recovering with aplomb as he attempts to make up for his error by outdoing himself with each new card trick, culminating in his not just making a life-sized card come to life, but finally ... well, that would be telling!

Méliès once wrote that a film director must be prepared to work not only as the director, but as the writer, the camera operator, and an actor as well, if necessary. He was all of those things and did them all extremely well. Now if only I could figure out how he pulled off that last card trick....
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3/10
Stinks like five day old fish
27 March 2004
What more can I say about how awful this movie is than what other people have already said, except that if Freddy Mercury weren't already dead, he'd die just for the satisfaction of rolling over in his grave!

From "Roar" to this piece of rancid offal is but a small step. It's also a big part of Heath Ledger's career so far. Instead of protecting us from Janet Jackson's boobies, the FCC should be protecting us from Heath Ledger's historical destructionist films. Instead of protecting us from South Park's Canadian language, the MPAA should be protecting us from any movie that Ledger is in, which requires him to wear any clothing that went out of fashion more than two seasons ago.

Pfaugh! This movie stinks!
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El retablo de Maese Pedro (1992 TV Movie)
8/10
An utterly charming production!
19 January 2004
Although it seems to be currently unavailable on tape (although Decca apparently released a laserdisc -- remember those?! -- of it years ago), Classical Arts Showcase, which plays on many cable and PBS stations, just showed "The Boy begins the puppet show...," and it was utterly charming! Xavier Cabero was enchanting as The Boy, whose plainsong is corrected by Don Quixote as he presents the narration for the puppet show cum ballet. Highly recommended!
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Key West (1993)
What he said
21 November 2003
Sebastian Knowlton's comments were right on the money: Fox, as usual, short-changed the fans of an innovative series and left us with nothing but fond memories. We never even got re-runs, so if we weren't recording it as it was broadcast, memories are all that's left.
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The Beast (1996)
4/10
Steven Spielberg / John Williams rip-off
19 November 2003
This movie should have been called "Jeff Bleckner and Don Davis Rip Off 'Jaws' in a Peter Benchley Rehash of 'Creature.'" When we see low-angle shots of swimmers at the surface, how hard is it to guess what's coming? When the music throbs as the camera zooms in, how hard is it to guess what's next? When Christopher gives away his lucky charm, how hard is to guess what's next? What a yawner!
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Out There (2003–2004)
Splendid Australian TV show!
2 October 2003
While Australian television programming for young people is often extraordinarily good, "Out There" is a gem. Watching the embarrassed fumbling of Reilly as he tries to court Fiona is almost painfully true-to-life. Although Douglas Smith as Reilly Evans is ... ahem ... "a fox," his awkwardness as he tries to ask for his first date with his first crush is touching and bears the mark of true adolescent angst, with none of the cockiness we might expect from someone as good-looking as Smith, nor as exageratedly stupid as Reilly might turn out on an American sitcom. "Out There" seems to have the pangs of first love just about right. The presence of English girl Aggie (who can't understand Australian slang any better than Reilly) helps to accentuate the show's presumption that Australia is truly "out there," as is (from his own perspective) Reilly himself. Co-distributor Noggin ("the-N") has done the show a great injustice in the USA, however, by relegating it to a 1:00 A.M. time slot, when its target audience is presumably asleep. Meanwhile, Noggin is flogging to death Canada's recent entry in the war for American children, "Degrassi: the New Generation," by airing it upwards of fourteen times a week (almost all of the episodes being reruns). With all due respect to "D:TNG," which is a fine show, one would hope that Noggin would give "Out There" a chance to at least be SEEN by its target audience, who are, presumably tiring of seeing "D:TNG's" limited number of episodes being run to death seven days a week. Bravo to the makers of "Out There."
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Scooby-Doo (2002)
3/10
At least it has Matthew Lillard...
15 August 2002
Warning: Spoilers
... but that is just about the ONLY good thing there is to say about this waste of a lot of talent. Semi-spoiler warning(!!!): If you were a fan of the TV series and stopped watching it because a certain new character was introduced for no apparent reason, under no circumstances should you spend any money to see this cinematic fiasco (although a fiasco of chianti and some fava beans might take your mind off of it if you DO see it, because you'll want to go Hannibal Lecter on those responsible for this ... thing). The character who killed the love of many fans for the series returns as the villain in the movie, and makes a bad movie unbearable. "Scooby Poop" is right, Velma!
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6/10
Memorable & groundbreaking, but not as good as "Dawn."
28 June 2000
Quite the daring thing for television in its day (it might have trouble getting off the ground at all in today's morally frigid climate!), it was nevertheless a disappointing sequel to "Dawn: Portrait of a Teenaged Runaway." The character of Alexander brought tears to the eye in "Dawn;" in his own film he just seems to be going through the motions, doing what was "expected" of a daring, groundbreaking '70s Gay television character.
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8/10
It jerked my tears!
28 June 2000
Although a bit tame by today's standards, "Dawn" was quite the thing when it came out. In my opinion, the most memorable character is not Dawn, herself, but her hustler friend Alexander, played by Leigh J. McCloskey, whose performance was so deeply moving that he scored a sequel of his own: "Alexander: the Other Side of Dawn" (1977) (TV). Unfortunately, the sequel wasn't up to the original when it came to presenting Alexander. This was a landmark movie to many of its audience members, some of whom I know can STILL remember its EXACT title, a quarter century later; such was its impact on the post-Vietnam, post-Watergate generation.
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The Man Without a Country (1973 TV Movie)
8/10
Memorable and Poignant
28 June 2000
After 27 years, Robertson's portrayal of Nolan, the man who wishes never to see or hear of his country again, still smoulders in the memory. The closing scenes are heart-rending to anyone who has ever felt more than the slightest stir of patriotic sentiment or homesickness for a distant country. This is a classic version of a classic American story, in which a "merciful" sentence proves to be more diabolical and Draconian than poor Nolan could have ever imagined. Before there was Kafka or Orwell, there was "The Man Without a Country."
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Johnny (1999)
7/10
Heavy themes, tender moments
30 May 2000
Johnny (Chris William Martin of "Felicity") is a sociopath, but his charisma is so overwhelming that it is easy to see how easily people can overlook this in a leader. He is strong, powerful, and -- most alarmingly -- tender and loving to his followers. In one moment he may be encouraging them to humiliate themselves, in the next goading them into acts of extreme violence against one another, and then making it all better by bestowing (apparently sincere) affection on his groupies. Johnny is a Hitler, a Mao, a rock star, a Charles Manson, and a messianic martyr rolled into one package. In other environments than the streets, he might have become a politician, an entertainer, a military leader, president of a Yale secret society, or the dark shadow of J. Pierpont Finch, rising from mailroom clerk to corporate command. This is one powerful movie!
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CBS Schoolbreak Special: Kids Killing Kids (1994)
Season 12, Episode 4
7/10
A sensible, constructive gun education film
8 May 2000
This is an episodic film about the lives of four groups of young people whose lives are adversely affected (to the point of death or crippling injury) by handgun misuse. Featuring many well-known young television stars, it is mercifully free of preachy anti-gun propaganda and instead presents sensible alternatives to using handguns as a "quick fix" for crises which might be resolved in other ways (for example, through a talk with a suicide prevention counsellor or by a dispute negotiation). The stories first show what happens when a handgun is used (always with a tragic outcome), and then how the tragedy might be averted by not resorting to a gun when the characters are allowed "a second chance" to relive the moments leading up to their decisions to "take arms against a sea of troubles." Cold statistics about gun accidents and crimes presented by host Malcolm Jamal Warner seem intended to make young people THINK CAREFULLY about potential gun use, and aren't used as an all-encompassing bludgeon; in the second take of the suicide story, for example, the sad fact that most gunshot victims are hit by "friendly fire" is illustrated by "Eddie" not being able to simply walk into his parent's room and open an unlocked drawer to take out a loaded, unsecured gun; this saves the boy's life by causing him just a few minutes delay to think about what he needs to do -- he decides to call a friend to get a gun since he can't find his parent's pistol, and he is able to be talked safely through his suicidal crisis. The show's emphasis that in real life THERE ARE NO SECOND CHANCES makes this a powerful tool for gun safety education. Guns aren't an evil bug-a-boo in "Kids Killing Kids" -- their foolish misuse IS.
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3/10
Awful, even as TV movies go...
2 April 2000
Stupid, mindless drivel about a jet assembled within hours by mechanics who have never worked on airplanes (piloted by Burgess Meredith) chasing a Porsche race car which runs on decades-old gasoline sludge, driven by Lee Majors, with Chris Makepeace as the runaway techno-wiz who can McGyver spare parts into a radio receiver which can pick up all frequencies simultaneously, and who somehow learned how to acquire and use chemicals to make high explosives in a perfectly peaceful society. As moronic as it sounds. Terrible waste of Burgess Meredith, but Chris Makepeace may at least be forgiven on the grounds that this was only his second film.
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Amazon (1999–2000)
It's good to see some familiar faces with the new ones
27 October 1999
I agree with the earlier post that Will (Tyler Hynes) is the most interesting character in the series -- caught between three worlds, he takes adolescent angst to the n(th) degree! It was also a pleasant surprise to see "Corky" Martin of the Canadian teen soap opera "Fifteen" reborn as Chris Martin and able to handle an adult role. As for old fave C. Thomas Howell, this is certainly among the better roles he has assayed in the last several years of doing schlock work on the USA Network and several bottom-of-the-barrel movies.
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7/10
A quick question for those who loved this movie:
26 October 1999
A rhetorical question: You have loved the movie, perhaps cried over it; you empathised with the poor Poncelet family and Sister Helen's predicament . .. now, can you name the two kids whom Poncelet brutally and viciously murdered in cold blood? If you can't, you are crying for the wrong reasons and should be ashamed of yourself. . . .

When will someone make a movie of the tragedies that were THEIR lives, cut short by this miserable scumbag Poncelet? I shed no tears for him either during the film or after it.

I almost always keep a modicum of doubt in my mind about the validity of ANY case. If nothing else, killing him absolutely guaranteed that no other innocent teenagers would have their lives and even the memories of their names erased while he basks in the glory of media publicity forever and ever.
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Rampo (1994)
8/10
A fine tribute to a great and complex writer
26 October 1999
This is a fitting tribute to Edogawa Rampo, one of the greatest horror/suspense writers of the 20th century. He so keenly admired Edgar Allan Poe that he effaced his own name and personality and adopted Poe's (say "Edogawa Rampo" a few times quickly and you'll see that it is a Japanese pronunciation of the name of the great American writer). Rampo wrote so few works that it is wonderful that a film like this should be made about him, or rather, about his persona -- it is the only way that most people will be able to appreciate his deeply complex personality. (To be perfectly honest, having long ago read Rampo's "The Human Chair," and had its utterly unspeakable terribleness burned into his consciousness, this writer was GREATLY suspicious of the seats in the theater where this film was shown -- THAT is the sort of impact Rampo and his work can have on the mind!)
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The Club (1994)
5/10
It needed more Matthew Ferguson
6 September 1999
He was the the reason I spent a very long time trying to track down a tape of this Wyrd little film. My vote definitely would have been higher if there had been more Ferguson it it. Other than that, I found the film a mixed bag -- some unexpected twists and some ho-hum predictable scenes. It certainly deserves a look-see from any horror film afficiando, at least. .
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