Reviews

I saw Scream 3 this afternoon and was pleasantly surprised at how well they managed to end a great horror trilogy. This one was definitely played more as a horror/comedy than the prior two, but the inspired casting made it work.

Parker Posey is perfectly cast as the actress playing Gale Weathers in the pseudo movie "Stab 3". She steals every single scene she is in, make sure to watch her facial expressions throughout. The movie is worth a watch for her alone! Carrie Fisher also has a hilarious cameo.

52-Pick Up never got the respect it should have. It works on many levels, and has a complicated but followable plot. The actors involved give some of their finest performances. Ann-Margret, Roy Scheider, and John Glover are perfectly cast and provide deep character portrayals. Notable too are Vanity, who should have parlayed this into a serious acting career given the unexpected ability she shows, and Kelly Preston, who's character will haunt you for a few days. Anyone who likes action combined with a gritty complicated story will enjoy this.

Terror Train cashed in on the post Halloween/Friday the 13th craze of the early 80's to little success. Jamie Lee Curtis is wasted in a totally predictable slasher that takes place on a train bound with Halloween reveling co-eds. The "scare" is that the killer is also in costume so no one knows who anyone is. Former Prince protege Vanity, who later recorded a staple of strip bars the world over ("Do You Think I'm A Nasty Girl"), makes an appearance in this utterly forgettable film.

I place the original "Poltergeist" among the best 10 horror movies of all time. You would think that when only two of the original's stars would agree to make a third (Heather O'Rourke and Zelda Rubenstein), they would have taken that as a sign. Guess not. The script is dull, the special effects grade Z, not a single scare in the film. This goes down as one of the worst sequels in history, having little if nothing to do with the original. Avoid it at all costs.

How can it be very good with a name like "Snowbeast"? Only redeeming quality is Sylvia Sydney. This is your typical guy-in-a-white-hairy-sasquatch-suit terrorizing a ski resort. Amazing to think this was actually pitched and greenlighted to be made, it does have a memorable falling-from-a-ski-lift scene, but that's about it. If this is all that is on, go take a walk, get some fresh air....

This movie was pretty bad, and really gross at times. A female killer whale is strung up by some fishermen. The whale proceeds to deliver a baby whale, which plops onto the deck and is quickly hosed. The "father" whale seeks revenge the rest of the movie, in a nutshell. Richard Harris is incredibly irritating as the main character. The only good part is when Bo Derek gets her broken leg in full cast bit off by the whale....see ya, Bo. Skip this one and check out "Piranha" instead.

The original "Poltergeist" is one of my all time favorite movies. This one really stinks. Wait until you see the family flying through the void in one of the worst special effects fiascos of all time. The character of Kane was one of the wickedest villains ever, too bad he was wasted in this film. Another scene depicts the Freeling's son Robbie being brutalized by his own braces. Just ridiculous. The actors from the original do an excellent job, but the plot was just plain bad. The worst part, they don't even bother to explain what happened to the oldest Freeling sibling, Dana, played by slain actress Dominique Dunne in the original. Uncalled for sequel to a classic.

"Death On the Nile" is an excellent murder mystery with a top notch cast. Because it was set in the past, it doesn't seem dated at all. Someone is murdered on a ferry down the Nile river, and all the guests have a motive. Clues are provided throughout, but you probably will never guess the ending. Peter Ustinov, Maggie Smith (subtly hilarious as usual), Angela Lansbury (in an inspired performance), Mia Farrow, Bette Davis, Jane Birkin and David Niven all deliver strong performances. If you like Agatha Christie, or mysteries of any kind, rent this today!

"Fire!" came out at the peak of the disaster craze, when studio heads were actually green lighting movies like "Food of the Gods" and "Empire of the Ants". You would think they could get a little more creative with the title. This one centered on a forest fire and a group of children stranded in the middle of it all. Donna Mills is ultra 70's and very polyester. Pretty predictable stuff. This was a TV movie that came out the same time as the equally predictable TV movie "Flood!".

This is a great movie for kids, or it used to be anyway. I caught it on cable the other day and it sure was dated. Jodie Foster was in those awkward teen years and looked like a boy, her hairdo could go in the bad hair day hall of fame. Helen Hayes and David Niven are both excellent. Some of the verbage is so outdated, kids today probably would consider it very geeky. Definitely one of the better Disney films from that era.

This was OK, just kind of there. The premise was interesting, but the script was rather drab. Lee Grant gives one of the more over the top performances as a spurned lush. She picks up on anything that walks and drinks any alcohol she can find. Jack Lemmon does his best to keep the other C grade actors (Brenda Vaccaro, Darren McGavin, Gil Gerard, and George Kennedy to name a few) afloat. James Stewart is wasted, and just seems like he plays himself. I actually found and bought this on DVD, it made for good Sunday afternoon brain dead viewing.

This is the visual equivalent of an acid trip. A giant tongue attached to a wall licks a writhing lady. Another woman pops out of nowhere in various scenes saying "Chinchilla! Chinchilla!", then disappears. It is one of the most original movies I have ever seen, you are in for a very different experience if you can get your hands on a copy. You will never ever forget this one....

Giant rat movie based on excellent book "The Rats", this is a definite addition to the So-Bad-It's-Almost-Good hall of fame. You think you have seen it all until you see the little dogs in rat costumes running everywhere, munching on fleeing, screaming humans. Lisa Langlois plays the standard doomed "bad girl" role well, you just know her days are numbered. Fun no brainer flick, don't expect too much.

One of those movies so bad you wonder how come the budget didn't just go to feed the homeless. Good thing James Cameron got all his mistakes out in one movie. It is so hard to keep a straight face when you see all these people on a beach running around screaming and getting taken out by flying plastic ocean dwelling piranhas. One piranha even lives inside a person all the way to the hospital, then flies out and chomps this nurse.

This to me was an excellent sequel to a classic of the genre. It is the most basic of horror movies, but it has the eery creepiness factor the first one had. The best part was how it started from the minute the first one ended, making it more believable. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is now at the hospital and all drugged up, making it hard for her to get anywhere very quickly. The death scenes are inventive to this day, although you will have seen a lot of copycat scenes in more recent movies. If you can get past Jamie Lee's horrible wig, you will be entertained.

I actually read the book of this movie, and so I had high expectations going in as I enjoyed the book. Unfortunately, it wasn't as scary as I had hoped. The premise was great, but the execution wasn't very scary. Worth watching only if you like those early '80's "Friday the 13th" rip-offs.

Really bad sci fi is the worst. I am sure Farrah Fawcett jumped at the chance to make this movie at the time, not knowing how boring it would ultimately be. No redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Watching this movie is like a ride on one of those cheesy scary fair rides. Evil humanoid creatures with really long arms and big brain heads rise from the ocean to wreak havoc on a New England town. They proceed to graphically rape and rip the tops off many an ample chested actress. You feel sorry for the actors that had to film ocean scenes, as it appears to be just above freezing temperatures and they clearly don't want to frolic in the seaweedy water. Still manages to be sort of creepy in that B movie way, but skip if you don't like graphic violence.

It has been awhile since I have seen this, but I remember it being bad in a very good way, campy as all hell. I laughed and laughed at the end when, to lure the sea creature to the shallows, they dragged a bleeding guy behind a boat attached to a rope! I found this at a video store a few years ago, and have never seen it anywhere again, not one they even show on TV anymore.

You'd think a movie that relies on evil mannequins for much of its horror would be rotten, but this movie works in a very raw way. Reminiscent of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" in how it almost seems like you are watching a home movie. Chuck Connors is evil, he kidnaps women and slowly suffocates them with putty on their face, making them into mannequins. Ending scene is great!

The first time I saw this was at 9 in a theater when it came out. This is a perfect movie for a 9 year old, and that's about the best thing I can say about it. Wants to be another "Sinbad" type of movie, but fails with bad special effects that remind you of a "Godzilla" film. Doug McClure hams it up again, as he did in his other camp classics like "The Land That Time Forgot" and "Humanoids From the Deep". I'd skip it and rent "Jason and the Argonauts" or any of the "Sinbad" flicks.

Piranha is one of those movies that sucks me in every time I run across it. Lots of human feeding frenzies going on, one even (surprisingly) at a girl scoutish campsite. In particular, one underwater scene of a camp counselor getting munched was pretty intense. It seemed like everyone you knew would get eaten did not, and everyone you think will live gets chewed. When you notice John Sayles wrote the script, and Joe Dante directed, you realize why it has held up. The "vvdvdvdvvvd" sound when the piranhas attack will crack you up. Very graphic for its time.

I saw this at the theater when it came out because of the aliens that they showed throughout the preview. Unfortunately, they would be in the movie for about 15 seconds at the VERY END, which was VERY LAME. The movie would not get any stars out of ten in my opinion. I am shocked to see so many reviews, I feel sorry for all of us who sat through this stinkbomb.

If only they had had the incredible computer generated effects of today back in 1975, this could have been a classic. Interesting story line matched with fake dinosaurs equals so-so movie. The caveman is bad-movie funny. Would be best viewed after a night of drinking or whatever.

This movie was sooooooo bad, what were they thinking? It appears the screenwriter must have quit early on, no doubt in shame. I think there were maybe 8 lines spoken. If you like Kurt Russell, steer clear of this one and go rent "The Thing" or "Escape From New York", he deserves so much better!