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LilVixen
Reviews
Howard the Duck (1986)
Maybe not the worst movie EVER- but definitely the worst I've ever seen
When I was seven years old, I was badly injured by a four wheeler that clipped me while I was on my bike. I lost control of my bike and suffered a head injury, hanging onto my bike for dear life over a ditch. I was then rescued by the school bus driver and brought to the general store where I was laid out on the front counter and told to squeeze fingers if I could understand the people around me. I suffered scars, a concussion, and amnesia... all incredibly painful things... But nothing was more painful to me than during my recovery,I asked my dad and brother to pick up a Donald duck video for me to cheer me up. They came home with HOWARD THE DUCK. God knows why they thought this movie would be appropriate for a seven year old, brain injured girl who just wanted to be entertained by DONALD DUCK. If they had read the back of the video box... would the plot summary have convinced them? Maybe it's the cigar smoking duck on the front cover? I don't know, but I do know that we all watched it together as a family. Or at least we attempted to. Between attempting to figure out what the heck was going on, the lousy and distracting music, the weird and uncomfortable sexual "chemistry" between Howard and Lea Thompson, the bad acting and lack of any plot that makes sense, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Even now, 17 years later, the memory of my entire family shaking our cocked heads in disbelief at what we were seeing and dropping our jaws at the incredibly bad acting, bad special effects and horrible dialog, persists in my head. It's rather comical if you use this movie to play a joke on your friends. Tell them your going to see a really good movie. Wait about five minutes for them to say something negative. Then tell them it gets really good a little more in. See how long they can stand this movie before they give up on it and either burst out laughing or run from the room screaming, "this is the worst movie I've ever seen." As a platform for your own entertainment... I guess it depends on how much you like movies that are so bad... their just bad. I personally think, aside from playing that fun trick on friends or family, Howard the Duck, the original copies, duplicates, videos and DVDs? (are there any?) shouldn't even remain on this earth to be destroyed. We should shoot them into space, and hope and pray that the sun will eventually extinguish them from our consciousness.
Dragonfly (2002)
What's with the bad press?
First off, this movie is not that bad. It's cute, slightly spooky, and a great date movie. I went to see this with friends and my boyfriend and I can tell you that this is a movie that will make mushballs out of guys. Sure it feels a little long and soggy in the middle but there's enough bumps and jumps along with a twisted ending that will make seeing this movie worth it. It's a little sappy but with the choice of movies that have come out so far this year, it's the only one I would contemplate seeing again.
I am by NO means a Kevin Costner fan. I generally find his movies intensely boring and heavy handed with a "gee whiz look how great I am at directing and ACTING" message, but this movie didn't feel like it was just Kevin Costner's show. I thought he played the varying emotions of a broken hearted and grieving man very well. There were times when his dialouge was stupid, "I always wanted to go white water rafting, I've always wanted to see that, white water," Is a perfect example. But costner is believeable as poor, tortured and confused everyman Joe Darrow. The supporting cast is very good and believable if not slightly cliched: Darrow's 3 friends are always at the bar when you need them, his boss is an a-hole, the kid in a coma on the oncology ward is a shameless replica of the kid in "the sixth sense," and the hard nosed lawyer next door with the heart of gold who just happens to be a widowed lesbian played with mediocre pizzaz by kathy bates.
The Story is simple- and yes it could have been a half an hour long w/ out all the filler, but then what kind of a movie would that be? We need to build up the element of mystery so the ending proves that much more satisfactory. Rather than bore you all w/ the details of the movie you could read in any other review below me, I will just simply state this:
Dragonfly is a flawed but sweet movie. It tries hard, chugging along at a slow but steady pace and reaches climax with satisfying results. It's a fun, touching and rewarding way to spend a couple hours of your time. Chances are there will be people that don't like it- so what? Don't let what others say influence the good feelings this movie brings to you in your heart. True Hollywood sacchrine w/out the bad aftertaste. 7/10.
Star Wars (1977)
seeing the new version only makes this one seem so much better...
I was just a little tiny girl when I first was introduced to star wars, and I didn't like it one bit. It was loud and long and I didn't understand it. However, after a few years I developed a deep nostalgia for this movie and everything it represents. My heart swells everytime Luke looks up at the starry sky on tattoine and the music just helps carry the mood- that you know something great is going to happen. I kick myself for being so unapprieciative when I was younger, since If i had payed attention I would have bought right into it and had some valuable collector toys to go along with some fantastic childhood memories of this classic, timeless fairy tale about a poor boy, who grows up underprivledged only to find out he's a prince who's destined to be a jedi knight. So pretty much this review is like most everyone elses on here- Thrilling Movie and well worth your time. Watch the whole series in one setting for a fatastic, intergalatic epic that will transport you to a galaxy... far.. far away. 10/10 of course.
The Iron Giant (1999)
Beautiful...
The Iron Giant is a movie I wasn't exactly looking forward to watching- I don't know why- I guess the way the studio's marketed it, it didn't look too appealing. When I finally got a chance to sit down and watch it- I was absolutely blown away. What a beautiful and heart warming story! What an amazingly talented cast of voice actors- (Jennifer Aniston as a working class single mother? who knew!) Along with the animation, and the fun music this makes for a real treat for the whole family! It's a fabulous movie and a joy to behold. Every time I see it's on TV- I usually end up watching the whole thing- This is the kind of magic DISNEY used to make but forgot how to. 10/10 absolutely beautiful- you will not be dissappointed.
Ratz (2000)
mind numbingly stupid
I agree w/ the comment that this could be the worst movie ever- not only is it a STUPID concept, the actors are so horrible it's like watching amputated puppet theatre. I could barely stand to watch a few minutes of it- It's god-awful and a huge waste of your time. I give it an F or a big fat turkey- this goes down with HOWARD THE DUCK.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
PEARL HARBOR- go in expecting the worst- COME OUT...AMAZED
After reading all the bad and mediocre reviews for PEARL HARBOR, I've got to say I wasn't too keen on seeing it. I'd heard the acting was wooden, romance (love-triangle) boring and tacked-on, and the subplots forced... That was not what I believed after I'd left the theatre.
True, this movie is 3+ hours long and you may glance at your watch once- I did but that was 2+ hours into the movie- but Pearl Harbor delivered exactly what I wasn't expecting from a movie that was so poorly rated. I got heart-tugging romance, believable and enjoyable performances by the talented cast and a suspenseful and heart stopping war scene that had me biting my nails, gripping my seat and filling my eyes with tears. I don't know if it will have the same effect on ALL moviegoers- but I sure hope so. This movie was so much more powerful than titanic which I felt was good- but much overhyped (and undeserving of that oscar).Indeed it is very different from WW2 pix like Saving Private Ryan or ENEMY at the Gates, but those were WAR movies- those were about the coldness, brutality and utter annialation that is caused by such Global Feuds. PEARL HARBOR was about Patriotism, Love, Honor, and Sacrifice. It was more a big picture on the human spirit and an eye opener on the travesty that is WAR. Those who felt the romance was too much a part of the movie- it was NEEDED to show the characters warmth, weaknesses and love for each other. How do you expect to care about someone if you haven't got the chance to know them- I assure you that you will feel for each and every individual that inhabits this island. If you can't see the EPIC that is the movie- then I suppose you were one of the many people who enjoyed SHREK. PEARL HARBOR-was a movie I was happy to give 8 bucks too- Shrek... well I should've waited for the video. Pearl Harbor transported me back to 1941 where innocence was shattered and ignorance was severely punished... I was visually and emotionally blown away (pun intended:)
I went in with the lowest expectations and dry eyes, and I came out as a stunned and speechless American, so proud... so sad... But so Happy I'd seen this movie after all. Don't beleive the reviews or the critics- see for yourself and you'll see what I mean.
South Park (1997)
As a loyal South Park viewer.. I Say this with love- Trey and Matt better SHAPE UP!
I've been watching South Park since I first heard the uproarious laughter emiting throughout the living room last year. I walk in to see what's making my parents crack up like that- and I see a bunch of HORRIBLY drawn lil' 8 year old punks swearing their way through a half hour of crass and vulgar jokes... and guess what.. I LOVE IT! To all who say that the four lil monsters don't have a personality would be like SAYING Monica Lewinsky isn't a fat .... (sorry too much south park.. heh heh..) You have Cartman the fatt-ass, rude, obnoxious and disgusting pig- who's also somewhat enderaing. Kyle the neurotic and smart Jew- with a mother who's a perfect mockery of all the ridiculous TV censoring parents out there that really think they can control US? (ha) who's best friends with a piece of crap. Stan the lover of the bunch who's Grampa wants to die, sister beats the tar out of him and his girlfriend can't get close to him without getting puked on. Kenny almost always dies yadda yadda we know that but it's still great:) Now to my complaint- does anyone else think the "quality" of the shows is slipping ridiculously? I could watch "Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo" & "Starvin Marvin" a million billion times and not get tired of it (as with MOST of the first season) but I can't watch "Clubhouse" "the fourth of july" or "mr hankey returns" without moaning... ungh.. turn it off. This season has really sucked- making us wait FOREVER for new episodes and constantly playing reruns... I think I only liked 3 episodes this season "Chicken Pox" (a classic!) "Spooky Fish" and "the gnomes" (great song):) I just hope Trey and Matt put more thought in the 3rd season then they have in their merchandise. I'd take Simpson's Sounds of Springfield over Chef's Aid anyday (with the exception of wake up wendy and eric's sailing away)
Bishôjo senshi Sêrâ Mûn (1992)
Any One who Feels that way about Sailor Moon just ain't quite right in the head....
I know how..ahem... mean.. the intro to my comment looks but the previous poster obviously has no understanding of the beauty that is "Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon" I really wish we in the NA region had access to EVERY episode... but we don't YET. Sailor Moon is a great show with Romance, Comedy, Action, suspense, and Drama all rolled into one... how many CARTOON shows can boast about that? It has wonderful drawing and a truly great sense of Loving and respecting yourself and the world around you.. Naoko Takeuchi (Sailor Moon's creator) was really on to something... something wonderful.. Sailor Moon is a show that can be enjoyed by all ages- from 10 to 16 (my age) to 27 to 60 I know people of all the ages that are devoted moonies... to put down Sailor Moon, one must be inhaling a little too much paint thinner ifya know what I mean:)
Moonies UNITE!! ~Sailor Moon-Pie~
Can't Hardly Wait (1998)
Great way to start up the "Teen Movie" Genre again... Breakfast Club anyone?
I'll go right out and say it- I loved this movie:) It was fun, fast and adorable with characters that don't take themselves too seriously, writers who don't take themselves too seriously and a story with an ending you've seen about a billion times... YET- Can't Hardly Wait stays as fresh as ever, proving that if you have an exceptional cast and a quirky script,old can be new again- and just as fun... I LOVE anything Ethan Embry is in, any picture starring or co-starring him is worth watching- he lights up the screen and steals all the scenes he's in with his wide eyes and goofy smile. And I used to call myself the #1 Jennifer Love Hewitt hater, but lately I've been seing more depths to her character- she isn't always that sickeningly sweet "perfect girl" you know that you want to strangle... wait a sec- yeah she is- but at least she's a B*TCH in this for a few seconds right? I found myself hoping to see more of the scenes with Seth Green and less with everyone else- but I also apprieciated the way this film doesn't just revolve around one character. There are so many lives going on in this film that you feel as though you know someone like each and everyone of them.. I certainly know a lot of guys that are EXACTLY like Kenny Fisher... At times it's confusing and drifts from the actual "plot" (if there is one) a few times, but it's not supposed to be taken seriously- I hate it when people analyze films... All I know was I enjoyed it at the theatre and I enjoyed it even more the second time I saw it... and I know one more present I want Santa to bring me... Can't Hardly Wait with a little green Bow on it please:) B+
Armageddon (1998)
Armageddon: The perfect mix of story line emotion and breath taking Action
I have to admit, the first time I saw Armageddon it didn't exactly take my breath away. I'd been running late that day and came in about 15 minutes into the movie.. so already it was hard for me to get into it.
But the second time I saw it, not only was I blown away by the special effects but so was my entire family. I noticed much more of the story between Gracie and her daddy and that's what made it so emotional for me at the end, being able to connect with each character, being able to feel the pandemonium of the impending crises... my heart races, my palms are sweaty, and my eyes are filled with tears at that last second Harry had.. beautiful acting, gripping and intelligent story line- you may say it's not believable, but hell- if it came down to this in real life, wouldn't it be great if some of US were this brave? I loved it- to hell with Private Ryan, Armageddon deserves the OSCAR:) A++
Here Comes Garfield (1982)
A Mediocre Garfield 30 Minute cartoon with exceptional music talent..
I would have rated this attempt by Jim Davis and Co. about a five because I felt as though it wasn't creative and didn't seem to show that true Garfield spark we saw later on, but I changed my mind and gave it brownie points for the musical talent. The Song we hear as Odie is taken away to be put to sleep is soulful and beautifully sung (by who I'm not sure) and it captures the thoughts Garfield was having as he contemplated life without his best friend... I say CLOSE but not QUITE what I'll call a Jim Davis triumph- for that you'll have to watch, Garfield Goes to Hollywood and A Garfield Christmas.
Garfield Goes Hollywood (1987)
A true GEM for any Garfield Fan!
A Jim Davis Masterpice in MHO. I loved the whole concept of it- The Pet Search show, Jon's "talent" and the finale were wonderful! Plus you have to love those "Lemon Chickens" and the Garbonzo Brothers:) Truly the highlight though would have to be that amazing dance number between Garfield and Odie, who knew either of them were that agile? And that "Meow" Song was a treat. This Special is a MUST for Garfield fans or anybody up for a pre-comedy video night.