Reviews

Not only does the "docu-soap" feel of this "reality" show look cheap and fake (almost every frame of it seems to have been scripted); not only does the "Steve Stevens" seem fake on every level (he is, just look up the name Darin Notaro); not only is this insulting to the gambling community (even a beginner should realize the 71.5% win rate is bogus); not only is this show on CNBC (who has the infamous stock tout Jim Cramer); but it all adds up to a poor quality show because no one cares to watch this. If you do, it must be out of pity for this fool who thinks he can scam more people out of their money. At least he's in the right market...sad though if any sucker fell for his self-promotion. Shame on CNBC for showing such obvious trash.

One of the best new shows out there that are really REALLY "out there." Themes are present in each episode with short clips culled from internet videos, short films, and other found footage accompanied by great editing that may not be revolutionary but it sure is entertaining and offers more to the uniqueness of this all too short trip.

Late night programming for lost souls who don't mind mind-game adventures through Alice's looking glass. I used to dream of doing these types of collages of "best-of" moments in cinema's history set to the techniques of plunderphonics. The creators of this series gives me hope that I can only reach the heights that they could reach in a very short time.

Not one episode has let me down but there is always room for improvement, somehow if Adult Swim gives them another season or two I feel they'll reach great heights in the realm of mind-altering entertainment. P.S., love the ambient techno/space rock soundtracks.

Nearly incomprehensible and total garbage, this Troma produced vehicle is so bad it hurts. The only redeeming quality is that it sets up a good drinking/smoking/whatever-helps-you-get-through-this-mess game every time the title is referenced. When you black out and forget this experience you'll thank me later. Watch the first 15 minutes to get a very good taste as to how bad this film is in nearly every single aspect possible. And it never gets better. Proof that ANYone can make a movie. The director has made other bad films so you can understand what you're getting yourself into, but Troma usually has much more entertaining (albeit usually bad) fare than this turd.

Cashing in on the success of Vietnam war movies, this one is a real stinker. The casting is terrible (everyone sleepwalks through their roles), the dialogue is atrocious, the dubbing is ridiculous (why would you allow such an effeminate voice-over for your lead killer?) and once you see a POW get shot in the forehead all he does is blink and stare back at the camera...well, if you can make it past the first 20 minutes of this filth you are a better person than I. The only reason to give more than one star to this is that the director and producers actually have a few moments that prove they cared at least somewhat in making a decent movie on such a low budget, unfortunately no one ON camera gave two donkey balls about carrying out whatever minimal hope there was to make a decent war movie. I'll watch bad movies anytime of the week, except for this. Do not bother to seek it out unless you love 5th generation knock-offs of Platoon and any other vastly superior Vietnam War movie. And that's including every single one made by Chuck Norris as well.

A baseball movie about a sociopath....but it can't be both at the same time, so which path does it take? It takes the sociopath path which is not a bad path to take in movies...but it's not a very strong path to take when you're limited with your budget (it's a B-movie, period) and you decide to take only 90 minutes of viewing pleasures for your audience. Sociopaths are very complex creatures that none of us (even the best of psychologists and psychiatrists) can figure out completely. The main character is played with a convincing menace and laissez-faire attitude by Mark Mench that you can't help but be drawn in to his struggle to bring everyone else around him down to his level of pure hatred and narcissism. Too bad it's full of dialog that is unreal and too theatrical. Too bad that it does not concentrate moreso on the baseball aspect than the staged settings. Too bad it just doesn't work overall. It's a very dark and brooding film about a very disturbed individual who is determined to bring everyone else around him (including a fictional baseball team of which he is one of the best baseball players of all time) down to a level that is beyond the seven levels of hell imagined by Dante. It's an okay movie, but the ending especially ruined it with its liaise-faire attitude of "fuck the viewer, I'm tired and I'm just gonna end this movie with a cliché ending that ties into a previous moment halfway through this movie...yeah it's supposed to be significant, but only on a superficial level." And for that attitude and ending that the director, Daniel Kraus, gives to us...well, I have to give to you a big "fuck you." Look elsewhere for any type of baseball or sociopath movie, unless you're bored and completely full of narcissism of the deepest levels. So much promise, too much self-pleasure by Kraus.

Nathan Schiff's third film is yet another gorefest that is gloriously short (clocking in at only 70 minutes) but that's all you need b/c there is no plot and no acting chops at all. Well, actually, I can't deny that John Smihula did a decent job as the Southern hick "mastermind" who ends up killing a bunch of Northern yuppies with his deranged friend. The way he delivered his lines made the horrendous dialogue only that much funnier. More entertaining in terms of gleeful abandonment of any attempt at making a serious film. I mean the dialogue is worse than most porn movies (it's truly truly TRULY bad). The gore is impressive though yet again (taking into consideration that this is a NO-budget movie) and that's all that really matters…watching people's faces get ripped off and their intestines yanked out in gloriously fake (but utterly disgusting and vile) detail. Long live Schiff!

Zach Galifianakis is probably one of the best comedians to come out of the scene in the last 10 years…he's definitely that good, he's a top ten without a doubt on anybody's list who truly understands comedy.

No, his humor is not always right there for you to "get." Case in point, interspersed throughout his stand-up at the Purple Onion (San Francisco), are "interviews" with his twin brother Seth from the South. These segments contain very subtle comedic touches and sometimes they even seem to intentionally protrude into the going-ons that are taped at the club.

But it's okay, once you realize that Zack/Seth is really a total nutcase which is evident when he deviates from his usual "jokes" and begins to engage with the audience members…there is no one out there in today's comedy scene that I know of who is best equipped to handle total chaos than Zach. I'm not saying that he caused nor were there any chaos present at the club that night…but when he interacts with paying customers, there really is no one out there in today's world that can hold a candle to his improv.

He chastises them, he loves them, he makes fun of them, he screams at them, and he wonders overall (out loud) if they even understand his jokes. It all adds up to one of the most unique and satisfying stand-up performances you're likely to see out of all the current "newbies" out there.

So, yeah...the title to this summary pretty much sums up this 10 minute short. Meaningless scenes such as frolicking in the water (muddy and unclear) and riding around on a stolen scooter are three young friends who are alone in the world. No true plot, no true meaning. The art of pretension is presented here. I wouldn't mind that if it was aesthetically pleasing, but it is not. It is utter trash--total and complete ennui will develop over you. It's being shown on Sundance Channel. Don't even bother wasting 10 minutes of your life...believe me, I thought it couldn't be possible to actually waste that little amount of your lifetime and then regret it...but it just happened to me while watching this short. I want my 10 minutes back.

Obviously it goes without saying that one of the worst crimes in all of cinema is to be boring. And this one deserves life in prison for that one…not as bad as the electric chair mind you. The acting is not bad at all, it's actually really good. We have the late great Adrienne Shelly who has always been a great asset to any film and Michael Risely is very convincing as a schizophrenic. The problem lies in how the direction and cinematography is handled…it tries very hard to show us the style of a schizo's viewpoint. That's nice and all, but for 90 minutes of this tripe it all seems to be building to something…anything interesting. Instead we get a typically shot indie film that ends on a typical up-in-the-air-for-you-to-decide note that seemed to last for 2+ hours with direction that was better handled for such subject matter on superior films like "Session 9" and "Clean, Shaven" (the latter of which handles the matter of schizophrenia on a much higher and interesting level). Go watch those two films instead of this mess. You'll thank me later.

Another mad scientist/monster movie from the 1950s where we have people who are slowly becoming alligators. Not gonna bother much with the plot for you b/c if you bother to see this you'll see that they enjoy explaining crap to you over and over again (seriously, how many times does Lon Chaney explain the reason he has a hook hand?)…which actually kinda makes it an unintentionally funny film and most definitely hokey. The special effects are not very special at all and the only redeeming quality other than the so bad it's good acting is Lon Chaney's portrayal of a drunken Bayou man who lost his hand to an alligator and has a big beef with them reptiles. Too bad he wasn't in more scenes, but the few he is in makes up for a lot of the other deficiencies. Not a bad way to waste an evening. It's only 74 minutes long and if you enjoy monster movies then you might as well see it with a few brews and a couple of good friends who are in the know.

The debut film from underground horror film 'legend' Nathan Schiff. this is a crude little film...and that's putting it mildly. it isn't your typical B-movie. no, nowhere near. it's actually a Z-movie. as in, zero-budget. as in, no money was put into this and it shows and makes no bones about it. which is actually pretty cool with me. sometimes there's nothing better than wasting time watching total trash at 3 or 4 in the morning. except, i watched it at 10 pm tonight...but that's not the point. no, the point is that there is no point. to this movie. or review. if you really like ed wood movies, um...you still might not appreciate this. the only way you'll enjoy this is if you like z-movies. i mean this is horrid quality crap we're talking about.

the music is bad. the dubbing is bad. the editing is bad. the acting is non-existent. the plot is barely there. the monsters are laughably pathetic.

but there is some nice gore. very fake, but nice and gory nonetheless. they seem to really enjoy ripping off people's and things' arms. a lot. which became kind of tedious...but the final arm ripping scene in this movie is fantabulous. it made it all worthwhile and left me smiling and laughing. out loud. which doesn't happen often. unless i'm drunk.

OK, i was kinda tipsy. but that's not the point. like i said, there is no point.

it's only 67 minutes long so it didn't feel like an eternity like some z-movies. despite the low score, i still enjoyed this experience. i may even rewatch it one more time in the future. but not much more than that. it is after all a total and complete time waster.

The second flick by no-budget horror gorehound Nathan Schiff. Shot on a super 8 and oftentimes you can hear the camera rolling through the scenes. The acting is below subpar, the plot is ridiculously bad, and the camera-work sloppy. But the gore is what you watch when you decide to sit down to a Nathan Schiff film. What he lacks in terms of money and casting, he majors in giving you the violent gore you so deserve.

And really that's about the only reason you'd ever sit down to watch this. B/c you're a sick depraved bastard who can't get enough of animal intestines being ripped out of a young girl's body and chainsaws ripping through deranged psychos' chests. Yum.

Very disappointed is what first came to mind as soon as the credits rolled. I expected so much more due to all the fuss about this picture beforehand. And what do you really get in the end?? Yes, a wonderful chance for Mr. Jack Nicholson to shine and show is true colors as a professional actor. There is no denying his talent and charm. The man is a genius. His facial features alone in this movie are amazing. The plot and pace of this movie on the other hand leave much to be desired.

It meanders along (and no i'm not just some action hero buff here; i love slow movies esp. in the arthouse sense but this is ridiculously bland) and really moves nowhere. Many cliches (a shooting star while seeking an answer?? come on!) abound. The characters are very appealing especially on the other family's side in which Warren (Jack's character) must come to accept as his in-laws yet the movie doesn't ever truly explore that side of the equation.

Meant to be a "thinking-person's" movie it just comes across as plain trite trash that's overlong and way too full of itself. It does have its moments (some of them very funny and under the radar) but it falls short on too many other levels for the great acting and small touches of brilliant humor to pull it through to make it a good movie for 2 hours.

Oh yeah and the fact that you see Kathy Bates get nekkid is just too much to handle (automatic point deduction as I had to down 2 beers immediately following such a sight) 5*/10*.

What to say what to say.. Sigh...I went into this film having perhaps too high of expectations for it as Cronenberg has delivered some high quality films in terms of both psychological (see Dead Ringers) and sci-fi (see Exitenz). However this movie was just very slow and deliberate (not a bad thing in the least)...but utterly predictable which is not a trait suited for a Cronenberg film. I figured out what was going to happen halfway thru this movie, but when i figured it out i just kept thinking...oooh oooh David what are you going to throw in our direction now? what kind of a twist are you going to throw!!!! and ultimately it led to a predictable ending. it was a good movie no doubt. but not a typical cronenberg movie. he's done much better.

A typical movie of its genre with a few genuinely funny moments that are laugh out loud funny. The story is pretty good about rehabilitation from pain killer and alcohol abuse and is even somewhat accurate in its portrayal of the patients that are a part of this community.

However, it falls into the same old routine that most movies of its genre (wishy-washy, chick-flick drama) fall into. The ending is even of the typical let-down for those who actually desire to get something out of a movie other than mere "entertainment." It's a decent date movie that won't make you cringe too much, but don't bother if you have no date to bring with you unless you like this sort of general crap. (4 out of 10)