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Lace (1984)
2/10
Don't start watching this movie
10 December 1998
This movie ran a painfully long four hours. I made the mistake of starting to watch it when I was flipping through the TV at 10:00 pm, and ended up going to bed fairly upset at myself for wasting so much time.

Don't start watching the film -- you'll want to find out who the mother is. You'll waste four hours. (You'll find out, two minutes from the end of the movie. Save yourself the agony; e-mail me for the answer.)

The biggest problem (other than it's a one hour story drug out over four hours), is that I never found myself caring or worried about any of the characters. They're all whiney, generic, bland people. The three potential mothers are fairly indistinguishable (was the magazine publisher the one who dated the hockey player? Who cares?). The daughter is only mildly sympathetic when she is a young child; by the end of the film I found myself wishing the guards had gunned her down, too.

I'm not big on emotional shows, although I liked "Sleepless in Seattle", "Forget Paris", "Mr. Holland's Opus", and "Good Will Hunting." Put "Lace" on the other end of the scale.
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