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6/10
Leaves a lot on the table
28 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
As a fan of 1978 Battlestar Galactica I originally dismissed this remake series. I tried watching it in 2005 and didn't make it very far before disappointment set in. Now in 2014 I can let go a little and try to judge it on its own terms. I enjoy the high production values and some of the performances but it always leaves me wanting a little.

Olmos and McDonnell carry the show and are the reason to watch. I find it sort of amusing that Apollo and Starbuck have been limited to supporting characters in this version. They do okay, I suppose, but they are fairly one-dimensional characters which stand in contrast to Roslin and Adama.

Baltar is perhaps the most frustrating character. In the beginning of the miniseries he has the opportunity to steal the old blind woman's winning lottery ticket, thus saving his own life at the expense of hers. He does not do this, presumably because his morality will not permit him. Yet by the end of the miniseries he does that very thing, accusing an innocent man of being a Cylon in order to save his own skin. So when did Baltar's change in moral compass occur? Off-camera? Was his own skin ever really in danger, though? Adama wanted a Cylon detector so Baltar framed an innocent to prove he had a working detector. What if he hadn't? What would Adama do? He didn't have anyone else who could build one. He'd be forced to work by Baltar's timetable not the other way around. So Baltar put himself in a position of saying he had a working detector when he really didn't which would throw suspicion on himself later when they wanted to use it again. He always makes choices like that; he lies when no lie is called for and then has to squirm his way out of it. He's the dumbest smart guy I've ever seen. He also has a habit of talking to a person whom no one else can see, yet no one ever comments on this. He is the craziest acting person on the show yet everyone trusts him implicitly in positions of great power. You can only assume conversations are taking place off-camera where the other characters question his motives but the audience is left to fill in the blanks.

Now, in the season finale, we get another such instance. Boomer tells Helo she's pregnant. Helo's first reaction should be "you're lying, you're a robot, you can't get pregnant" or just "prove it." Boomer has lied about everything else she's said to him. Now she tells another lie, so he should think, to get him on her side. He doesn't wrestle with this decision, at least not that we see. In the next scene he's telling Starbuck that Boomer is pregnant and he's rushing to her defense. Again, it seems like the most dramatic part of the Helo-Boomer relationship has been left on the cutting room floor.

Why can't you just cut open a Cylon and see that it's not human? If it's indistinguishable from a human, then isn't it in fact human? The idea of a Cylon detector is talked about in vagaries and these questions are never answered. Helo asks if the Sixes he sees on Caprica are some kind of clones, or humans coerced to work with the Cylons. Then, presented with no evidence either way, he decides they are robots.

Was Adama lying about Earth or not? It doesn't really matter. What matters is early on he seems to discuss it with Roslin as if they both believe Earth is real. Later, they both believe it to be a myth. It feels like so much happens without letting the audience in on the secret. We're supposed to just enjoy what's presented without question, but that's difficult.

Does Baltar really have a chip in his head? Is that how Six talks to him? If so, why doesn't he scan for it and see if it can be taken out?

Cylons can appear at will on board the colony ships including Galactica. Yet once they have a real working detector they never test Roslin, Adama, or Baltar, who should be one of the first. Of course if Baltar's a Cylon then his test is invalid and they should know this, and have a second scientist working on a second test. So much is left undone.

Early in the season we wonder if the Boomer on Galactica knows she's a Cylon. What's of more concern is the Chief who knows that she is and never does anything about it. With all the angst and drama over his being accused of planting the bomb, of letting one of his men take the fall for the incident, when he finds out it's her he just lets her go? Continuing to put the rest of the fleet in danger? It seems so out of character. It might make sense if he was going to continue a relationship with her, but if he's not, then what exactly is his motive?

What is the Cylons' plan? Not to exterminate the human race, obviously, because with the access they have to Galactica they could do it at any time. So I guess they are herding humanity to a specific place. Why? To breed with them? Why not just kidnap a few humans and conduct breeding experiments? Hopefully their goal will make sense because so far it seems like a series of unrelated incidents.

The pace of the show is already somewhat slow and methodical yet it feels like if each episode had been expanded, even 10 minutes, they could have answered some of these questions and satisfied the viewer a little more. I just have a feeling that they left the best scenes on the table at the writers' meeting.
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Dexter: The British Invasion (2007)
Season 2, Episode 12
6/10
Some strong performances but overall a bit of a letdown.
23 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
In reviewing the Season 2 finale I guess I'm really reviewing season 2. I didn't really like the premise of Dexter's recovery in the first place, turning him into a normal guy is not what the audience wants. Then to have him couple up with rehab skank Lila was salt to the wound. Dexter's acceptance of his addiction and newfound ability to overcome it somehow leads him into the arms of the woman who fans the flames of that addiction instead of the woman who has been with him for so long, that's he's been trying to over the addiction for, Rita? It makes no sense. But then Dexter does finally explain that he's a confused man.

Doakes was always such a one-note character, the guy calling Dexter a weirdo and psycho. It was a welcome surprise to find that in these last few episodes he became a real highlight of the season. When he dropped the macho posturing and actually tried to have a real conversation with Dexter for the first time it felt like we were really going somewhere. Sprinkling in the bits earlier in the season about Doakes' questionable past and killer instincts strengthened the bond between them. It came as no surprise that he would die once he found out Dexter's secret, he had to or else the show would be over.

This set up a great moral conflict for Dexter. According to Harry's Code he cannot kill an innocent man, but he also cannot allow himself to be caught. The two are in direct conflict. We all knew that there would be a Deus Ex Machina that let him off the hook without making the choice. As it turns out he has ample time to make the choice before he's let off the hook. Dex spends days preparing to turn himself in rather than frame or kill Doakes, and we know that when Doakes is inevitably killed, Dex will be free and clear and maybe even feel bad that Doakes took the fall for him, but it was out of his hands. It really saddened me to see him pitch it all in favor of "nah, I'll go ahead and frame Doakes anyway," and then "oh well he's dead? I'll go on enjoying my life then, it's what Doakes would want me to do." No, no he wouldn't.

Beyond profiting from an innocent man's death, Dexter also seems completely fine with letting Doakes' family and the entire police force go on believing this innocent man was a murderer, just to spare his own smaller family. This season was about Dexter abandoning Harry's Code and finding his own, and I guess he has, it's just not as good. I'm disappointed.

And really, a badass like Doakes being taken out by someone like Lila, that is really insult to injury. Just sad. And while I'm glad they killed her off and didn't leave us hanging for years as to whether we'd ever see her again, just how exactly did Dexter find her? Dexter has always had incredible luck with tracking people, abducting them, carrying bodies around and dumping evidence in broad daylight without being seen by anyone, but this seemed beyond ridiculous.

Decent acting, mediocre writing, overall season storyline was a bit sub- par.
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Star Trek: Enterprise: The Forge (2004)
Season 4, Episode 7
3/10
Perhaps the most "inside" episode of Season 4
24 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Like most of Season 4, "The Forge" is mere fan service. What is "fan service?" When a writer spends much of the screen time making references to past episodes just so fans can say "oh cool, I remember that!" even though it doesn't help the current story.

The writers decided to do an episode on Vulcan so they had to have a Sehlat (Spock's pet from "Yesteryear"), a "katra" (from Star Trek III) and of course T'Pau (from "Amok Time") and Surak (from "The Savage Curtain"); and then the Syrranite starts asking Archer the same test questions the computer asked Spock in Star Trek IV. By the time we got to the IDIC (from "Is There In Truth No Beauty?"), which most TOS fans remember was first and foremost a product placement for a medallion Gene Roddenberry was trying to sell, I was seriously groaning. Making a reference for the sake of a reference is just not interesting.

The next two episodes were slight improvements in this regard. Still, I always had a problem with "Enterprise's" portrayal of all of Spock's ancient, treasured Vulcan practices as brand-new only a hundred years earlier. Vulcans in "Enterprise" don't know much about mind-melding and even less about the katra even though they are supposed to be time- honored customs in TOS. Besides, Vulcans' life-spans are too long. Most of the characters currently alive on "Enterprise" will still be alive when "Star Trek" rolls around. When the Priestess in "Star Trek III" says the transfer of katras from one person to another "has not been done since ages past, and then only in legend" what she should have said was "this was done about a hundred years ago, successfully, also between a Human and a Vulcan, by someone who is probably still alive and a member of this council, and the katra belonged to the Jesus Christ of the Vulcan people ... so it was a pretty famous case that we should all remember."

The rest of this arc was better service for the characters of Trip and Soval but another poor showing for the Vulcan High Command, this time being run by a particularly irrational Vulcan who favors hanging on to outdated beliefs even when presented with new evidence, which is usually the act of a religious zealot, which is what he accuses the Syrranites of being. Like most of the Season 4 arcs, this could have been shortened to one episode without losing anything. That would have left room for many more stories and then even the stinkers would mercifully only take up a single precious hour of the season.
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Star Trek: Enterprise: Regeneration (2003)
Season 2, Episode 23
3/10
A perfect example of "Enterprise"
10 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
When this "Star Trek" prequel series debuted we wondered if it would attempt to fit into the established history leading up to TOS or if it would rewrite history. I think they tried to hint at both to please old and new fans alike, but the latter is obviously where they were going. In the movie "First Contact" we saw Picard's TNG crew go back in time and alter first contact between humans and Vulcans, which was the entire basis for the formation of Starfleet and the Federation, so it stands to reason that everything that follows would be altered, sometimes in subtle ways and sometimes not so subtle. How many of Cochrane's crew were killed, what role would they have played in the creation of the Phoenix or relations with the Vulcans? How were Cochrane's attitudes and actions altered by his encounter with Picard's crew? Cochrane appeared on the pilot episode of "Enterprise" showing that this new timeline would follow on from that movie. Now in season 2's "Regeneration" we did up some leftover Borg from the movie just to hammer home the point that this is a continuation of that movie. Even though Archer remembers some random bit of nonsense Cochrane had muttered 100 years earlier that everyone else wrote off as a drunken yarn, apparently his encounter with the Borg will not be remembered 200 years later when Shelby is researching the Borg in preparation for their invasion of the Alpha Quadrant. Or will it be, in this timeline? If Archer had gone 200 years into the future perhaps he would have encountered a very different TNG than the one we watched on our TVs.

Yet the episode ends with a warning that the Borg contacted their friends in the Delta Quadrant and they should get the signal right around the time Picard is captaining his Enterprise. So the writers choose to rewrite history but not too much, leaving the appearance of perhaps fitting with the old history. It's a bit of having your cake and eating it too. Or perhaps more a case of rewriting continuity but not having the guts to actually do it in any meaningful way. I find this kind of thing unappealing to the old-school fan but too business- as-usual to please a newcomer.

As for the actual plot, the Borg continue their magical evolution into indestructibility. We saw on Voyager that they could revive a drone that had been dead for several days. Now they can revive drones that have been dead 100 years or more! Not just frozen in ice for 100 years, but who have also survived the destruction of their ship by photon torpedoes, survived the heat of entry into Earth's atmosphere and a rather harsh impact onto the ground from orbit. Those magical Borg.

The action plays more like a horror movie with a bunch of zombies infecting humans and multiplying possibly without end unless they can be stopped. It's a serviceable but predictable action episode that has been seen many times before. Where is the promise of this first encounter with an entirely different culture, not just a hive mind but now an enemy who absorbs everything it touches? Not unlike the one Enterprise encountered in "Vox Sola." This time however there's no emotion, no surprise, just action. I guess if they found out too much about the Borg it might just finally break the canon irreversibly so they couldn't go there. Couldn't have Phlox learn the species' name while he was mind linked with them, for instance. Just like they never learned the Ferengi's name because that would wreck Picard's first contact with them 200 years down the road.

This is all the same road JJ Abrams took with the 2009 "Star Trek" movie. Not surprising that would name-check Archer as his movie is a continuation of "Enterprise's" altered timeline and alters it further. Another remake that tries to change things but keep enough the same that it could still kinda-sorta fit with the old stories, but really can't, not at all. In the attempt to offend no one they created a product that I don't see how it can please anyone. It's very boxed into an old product which limits where it can go, while it really doesn't fit into the box either. This episode shows exactly what's wrong with "Enterprise" and Abrams' Trek.
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Star Trek: Enterprise: The Crossing (2003)
Season 2, Episode 18
4/10
Predictable episode, boring conclusion
7 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
As the other reviewers said, it was a predictable episode. It's not unlike the episode of TNG where Troi, Data and O'Brien are possessed by ghostlike beings trapped on a planet. Here it's ghosts in a ship trying to take over all the bodies on Enterprise.

The first plot hole is when they decide they can defeat the non- corporeal beings by killing the host body. T'Pol says it will be like they are in space, they will die. We have already seen the beings travel through space from their ship to Enterprise and it doesn't kill them, so the explanation doesn't make sense.

Secondly, the crew members in the catwalk are shielded from possession but Trip is possessed anyway. Did the beings find a way through? Or was he simply still possessed from earlier in the episode and had been pretending to be okay for the middle of the episode? Never explained.

Third, when the beings take over the crew members, we see the crew members' "soul" or whatever leave the body and take flight, becoming non-corporeal as well. So if Archer's final plan involves killing the host body and driving out the evil beings, how can he be sure that the crew members' soul will come back to its body once the body is revived? How can he be sure that the evil being won't hang around and come back to the body once it's revived? Especially since the being inside Trip knew what the plan was; kill the host, drive out the possessing spirit, then revive the body for the crew member to return. What's to keep the evil spirit from returning first?

The ending was all very rushed. I also wondered why Phlox was acting so strange towards the end of the episode. Counting out loud as if he's never read English before, asking how to open a hatch and how to turn a handle and what to with the hatch once it's released, to which Archer says "I don't know, set it on the ground or something." Phlox seems to lack basic life skills which is exactly how the aliens act. Were we supposed to suspect he might be possessed? Not answered.
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Star Trek: The Next Generation: Homeward (1994)
Season 7, Episode 13
3/10
Poor writing indeed.
31 January 2014
Warning: Spoilers
To add to what ShogaNinja said, Picard expresses a lot of anger at Nikolai for creating this situation and coming up with such a ridiculous solution. Then at the end of the episode Crusher asks Picard if he regrets saving the tribe and he says "No, and our plan worked perfectly." Even though the tribe now believes in a magical Worf and some God called "La Forge" the same way the proto-Vulcans in "Who Watches the Watchers" believed in "The Picard." I thought Nikolai's use of the holodeck was rather brilliant but the line of BS he came up with sell it to the tribe was utter lunacy. "Duck inside your tents and my brother will make the storm disappear!" Won't they be questioning him for the rest of his life about his magical brother? Why not just knock them out with some gas and then later say the storm dissipated while they were asleep?

The episode also entirely avoids the ethical question of letting someone die rather than violate your policy of non-interference. The Prime Directive is supposed to prevent them from negatively impacting another culture. Since the only alternative is the extinction of that culture does it really apply? Wouldn't a culture influenced by alien visitation still be preferable to no culture at all? This episode really makes Picard out to be a puppet of Starfleet dogma. I'm reminded of Jor-El's words in the 1979 movie, "Is it now a crime to cherish life?"
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Los Luchadores (2000–2002)
It wouldn't be so good, if it wasn't so bad.
8 April 2001
Okay, okay, so it's a dumb kids show. But it's kind of fun. Lobo Fuerte is the world's most stand-up hero, the Dudley Doright of pro wrestling. And everything's Lobo. He hangs out in his HQ, the Lobo Tower. His computer, the Lobotron. His car, the Lobo Ride. It's like Batman only somehow, dumber.

Turbine is his teenage sidekick and boy is this kid short a few brain cells. I guess he's supposed to act like a kid ... he always screws up so that he can learn a valuable life lesson later on. You ask me, a kid this nice and this talented would not also be so thoughtless and careless to screw up in the first place. It's a case of adults trying to write down to the level of kids and aiming way too low ... as with most shows like the Power Rangers. You don't have to condescend this much to make kids understand what's going on. But still, the shows kind of fun.

Maria Valentine is the other sidekick. Don't ask me why the girl has to be stuck in the #3 role. They make it very clear that she's just as capable as the boys yet she is not really part of the team. Any time trouble brews, it's Lobo Fuerte and Turbine to the rescue. Maria helps out on occasion, but as often as not she stays back at the base and watches the whole thing on the crisis monitor. Also, I like the actress a lot but she obviously is not very schooled in stage fighting. When they have her start throwing bad guys around she puts no force into the blows or throws. Her stunt double for the wrestling scenes is okay but she needs to turn it up a notch for her own stuff. I know we are not trying to scare kids or have them try wrestling moves on each other at home, but if you're going to use them in the show anyway what's wrong with making them seem real? Give them some impact ... show the harmful results and maybe kids will be LESS likely to try them at home.

Fourthly on the team is Laurant, the wise older guy who runs the computers back at Lobo Tower. Like all supporting characters he does not have a life, he lives only to serve Lobo & Turbine. Nothing wrong with serving the good cause but this show would have us believe he hangs around the HQ 24-7 waiting for Lobo's call to duty. And this guy is supposed to be from some Carribean locale, I guess? He's got the accent so of course he always hangs out in Hawaiian print shirts. And the Whelp even called him an "islander." Kinda non-PC don'tcha think?

Still, I think these slights are minor and unintentional. I wish they would not stereotype Maria as the "chick" and Laurant as the "island man-servant" so much but I don't think it's done out of gender or racial ignorance so much as sloppy writing. They started the characters with broad character traits and if they filled in more personal and specific traits they would become real characters and not just cookie-cutter cartoon characters ... but they haven't yet.

So why is this fun? It's dumb and it's cheesy. But there are some inspired ideas. I like the idea of pro wrestlers who fight crime in their off-hours. The Bat-Cave-like Lobo Tower is the epitome of superhero cliches and works as much as a parody of comic book heroes as an homage to them. The Whelp is the arch criminal of Union City. A little talking chihuahua right out of the Taco Bell commercials ... what a threatening villian! But the fact that the heroes take him so seriously lends him credibility and makes for a fun setup. It's so cheesy that they can't even make his mouth move like in the Taco Bell spots so they have a metallic cyborg mask over the pooch's head covering his mouth. I wonder what the Humane Society says about that? At first they at least had an indicator light on his collar that lit up in conjunction with his dialogue so it looked like something was happening and not just a voice-over. After the first episode though they ditched it. Now the dog just sits there on pillow looking around the room, trying to figure out what these silly TV show producers are doing while a voice-over rolls past him. It's so cheesy it's inspired.

If this wasn't a show for kids they would probably write the characters a little more depth and it might be an okay show. But it is a show for kids, and it's really pretty dumb. But there are some ideas here that I just love so I will continue to watch it and wait for it to get better ... which it probably won't.
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An evolutionary leap of logic
12 March 2000
The biggest problem with this movie is the leap of logic that gives birth to the second set of Graboids in this movie. Without that how can we enjoy the movie? Okay, okay ... by the time the opening credits are done rolling we have given up on logic. This is a direct-to-video effort to a good b-movie. At that, it's not half bad.

Fred Ward returns as Earl and brings along Michael Gross as Burt. Kevin Bacon and Reba MacIntyre are nowhere to be seen. When the worms resurface in Mexico, Graboid-fanboy Grady arrives to recruit the survivors of the first film. Earl and Burt pack up a truckload o' guns and head south. There they meet up with some new characters and the "secret origins" of the Graboids.

Now, Ward and Gross can carry a movie, and they carry this one. Michael Gross's Burt Gummer alone is reason enough to watch this movie.

But I think they diminish the effectiveness of the worms by having them so easy to kill. In Tremors, the citizens of Perfection spend the whole movie dealing with 4 of 'em. Here we get a safari scene where Earl and Grady kill off about 20 in about 10 minutes. Now that the worms are no longer a threat, it's time for the moviemakers to give us a bigger, badder Graboid. As the poster states, the worm has turned. What follows is a leap of logic and is (wisely, perhaps) left unexplained in this movie. I guess what's really important is the action, the one-liners, the dopey sidekick, and the hot chick. Let's see ... check, check, check, and ... check! Okay, so see this movie if you like your cheese without the Bacon.
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Weak, even for a 4th in a horror series
29 February 2000
Lame 'sort-of sequel' to the other TCM movies. Only Leatherface returns, the rest of the family is brand new. Must be like the replacement cousins on the Dukes of Hazzard ... any southern family has replacement cousins it can throw to. This time out cousin Leather wears women's clothing and makeup along with their skin.

Although this story is thin even for a horror movie, I thought Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey both turned in good performances, for what this movie was. It pretty much becomes a one-on-one between them with all the other characters chasing each other around in the background. McConaughey seems the only one who understands what an absurd movie he is in, hamming up scenes with his malfunctioning remote-controlled mechanical leg brace. He also gets a comic scene explaining why the FBI hires crazy hicks to go around cannibalizing stranded tourists. Zellweger is a strong lead proving that she can kick ass with the best of them ... if only she was in a better movie.

The rest of the characters are just put there to kill or be killed. Except for one chick just stuck in to show off her breasts. It's like the filmmaker's said ... "Uh Carl, nobody gets killed in act two. Better write in a boob scene."

If you like the two stars you might want to watch this movie, setting your expectations sufficiently low. Otherwise don't bother ... even for a fourth in the series it's weak.
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It's NOT the Beast Wars, but has merit of its own
31 January 2000
Having seen probably every episode of the original Transformers, Beast Wars, and now Beast Machines, I feel I can comment on this series with some authority. I loved the Beast Wars even though it was a very different show from the Transformers. They took liberties and played with elements from the original Transformers, starting with the guest appearance from original Transformer Starscream, and culminating with the discovery of the Ark and the "guest appearances" of Optimus Prime and Megatron. The Beast Wars combined old and new, wonderful CGI with great voice talent and fun scripts. I was sad to see it end.

So then came the previews for Beast Machines. Sure, it was still animated by Mainframe, who did Beast Wars, so we knew it would look good. But what about the story? From the beginning there were questions. They were taking the surviving characters from Beast Wars and putting them in a new environment. This would be our first in-depth CGI look at Cybertron. I had no problem with this. We had done the "Beast Planet" thing, so a new setting was promising. Next was the idea of the mindless transformer drones, to provide "cannon fodder" as we hadn't seen before in the Transformers. No problem. New characters, new bodies for our survivors, this was all okay. We had grown accustomed to that in the Beast Wars. Most characters had changed appearance two or three times by the end of that series.

The problems I had were with the changes they made in the fundamentals of the mythos, and the characters. I don't remember much from previous series about the organic beginnings of Cybertron. Personally, I don't really see the point in them pushing it as the main element in this Beast Machines story arc. I would think they would have enough to do with a return to Cybertron, a new fight, new characters and such. Second, the characters change for the worse in my opinion. As established in Beast Wars, Optimus was rational, kind and a strong leader. Here he becomes angry, argumentative, and indecisive. Rattrap was a complainer in Beast Wars but not a coward or an idiot as he was in Beast Machines. It's only halfway through the series that he even figures out how to transform, something the others accomplish by episode 1 or 2! Cheetor becomes bull-headed and arrogant, a trait he was often scolded for in Beast Wars, but here he is rewarded and promoted for it. I understand that they probably wanted to show his progress to leadership, and bring in Nightscream as the new 'kid' of the team, but it still seems out of place. I guess what I'm saying is, the characters have all become kind of unpleasant and I don't really care about seeing any them succeed anymore. About the only one who is still 'in character' is Blackarachnia, who wisely spends much of the Beast Machines series following her own agenda away from the other Maximals. Megatron's obsession with eliminating the 'organic element' seemed odd to me since he was the one so obsessed with experimenting on organics in the Beast Wars. He cloned, he tampered, and he was awfully proud of the power of his newly acquired body each time he got one, half-organic or no. I don't understand the point of using established characters if you plan to change all of their personalities. Just create some new ones, at least the Beast Wars team had the respect to do that.

Having said my piece about the treatment of the surviving Beast Wars characters, let me say that I enjoyed the 3 Vehicons. This makes me think that the writers know how to write, they just don't know how to write the specific characters that carried over from before. The use of the Maximal personalities within the Vehicons lead to interesting speculation about who was who and what this would mean; but in the end, I hope we don't see that as an excuse to bury the characters of the Vehicons in favor of our "returning favorites." I would favor a story that finds a way to segregate the two sets of characters so they can live on their own.

All in all, although my review is very critical, I think there's a lot of potential here. The CGI is great. The voice actors are too and I'm glad that they didn't make any replacements, that they got the Beast Wars actors back to resume their roles. A lot of the visions of Cybertron are very chilling ... like somewhere between Blade Runner and Tron. Although there are characters I despise, I think they still have strong voices in Blackarachnia, Megatron, Rhinox-Tankorr, and I think Jetstorm is a hoot! I just hope they find a way to write their own ideas without just swiping a lot of stuff from the past and then bending the stories to fit their revisionist history. If season 2 is as good as the first I'll keep watching... but I think they can do better.
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Tron (1982)
Almost 20 years later they still haven't topped it.
28 January 2000
I saw this movie when I was about 10, a couple of years after it came out. It still amazes me that people of the day could look at video games like Pong and what was happening on the Atari ... even in the arcade, and come up with the great visuals that they produced for this movie. I realize that on the story level, TRON will win no awards, but it has a lot of groovy one-liners and moves the story along where it needs to go. This movie has a lot to show us in terms of visuals and is just a lot of good clean fun. Almost 20 years later I can't think of many movies I remember more fondly. I've always thought they should do a sequel but I know that Hollywood would just screw it up. So do yourselves a favor and see the original, before they turn it into a "special edition" or something lame like that.
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Super Mario All-Stars (1993 Video Game)
Re-release of Super Mario Bros. 1, 2, 3 and the Lost Levels
25 January 2000
The game known as Super Mario Bros. 2 in Japan never reached the States. American audiences were given a different game called Super Mario Bros. 2 and I don't know if it was released outside of the U.S. Now, here, 4 classic NES games are re-released on one cartridge with updated graphics for the Super NES. First is Super Mario Bros. as it was known; Super Mario 2 as we knew it in the U.S.; the Lost Levels, or, the game known as Super Mario 2 in Japan; and Super Mario Bros. 3. As far as I know they are exactly the same as their previous versions, only the graphics have been changed.

For my 2 cents, even though the graphics are "better" they take away some of the classic feel of the originals. However, as my only chance to play the Lost Levels, I appreciated this release. It also allows you to save your game in progress, a feature lacking on the NES versions.
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Mega Man 2 (1988 Video Game)
This is the one that hooked me
25 January 2000
I had never heard of the first but when I saw preview images of Mega Man 2 I just had to check it out. If side-scrolling action and cartoony graphics are your bag, you've got to play it. The villains seem appropriately cheesy yet, I never thought of this game as too childish to enjoy. The play control is slightly better than in the original Mega Man and the landscapes more vivid.

The story goes - in the first Mega Man, Dr. Light and Dr. Wily created 7 robots together to serve humanity. Dr. Wily stole 6 and reprogrammed them to help him take over the world, leaving only Dr. Light and Mega Man to save the day. This time out, Dr. Wily has returned with 8 new robots of his own creation and a gigantic fortress that puts the first game to shame.

After the success of Mega Man 2 the franchise took off spawning Mega Man 3-6 on the NES, Mega Man 7 and the spin-off series Mega Man X 1-3 on the Super NES, Mega Man X4 and Mega Man 8 on the Playstation, and even Mega Man 1-5 on the GameBoy. And fun was had by all.
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Castlevania (I) (1986 Video Game)
Dracula leads the horror all-stars against the world's greatest vampire hunter, Simon Belmont
25 January 2000
In the country of Transylvania sits Count Dracula in his gothic castle fortress, Castlevania. He has kidnapped the girlfriend of Simon Belmont to goad him into a fight. To get to the Count, Simon must fight through level after level of zombies, bats and skeletons to name a few, armed with a whip and an assortment of strange secondary weapons including a cross-shaped boomerang, bottles of acid, throwing daggers, a stopwatch and the enigmatic 'multiplier.' Along the way Simon encounters increasingly difficult 'level bosses,' including Frankenstein's Monster and Igor, Medusa, the Mummies, and the Grim Reaper. Why all of these guys are working for a mere vampire I'll never know ... but in the world of Castlevania it's sure that Count Dracula is the King of all Monsters.
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Heavy Metal (1981)
10/10
A buffet of highly contrasting styles of sci-fi animation
3 May 1999
I grew up on this movie, first watching it when I was about 10, WAY too young naturally. This was the first flick I saw to take animation to the adult level, such as in Wizards around the same time. Some of the episodic stories here are weaker than others, but if you want a full plate of various fare; from the light comedy of Captain Sternn to the straightforward adventure of Harry Canyon, Den, and Taarna, to the outright blood & guts of B-52. That villainous Loc-Nar weaves many a lurid tale as he tries to seduce a young girl to the ways of evil.
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Dimension of Blood (1996 Video)
10/10
The one that started it all!
23 April 1999
Government cover-ups, weird aliens, a dorky hero who rises to the occasion in the middle of all the face-melting action, this baby HAS IT ALL! Man, I'll tell you what, I was just living a lie before I shelled out my 20 bucks for this sucker. Now I know what movies were always supposed to be. The next logical step in cinematic evolution, THAT'S WHAT THIS IS! Who needs Brad Pitt and a 50-million dollar budget? You want a walk-through? Dale Wilson can do a walk-through! Here's your real Men in Black! Man, how excited am I? So why don'tcha buy the thing already! Whew ... some people have to learn it the hard way.
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The Head (1994–1996)
Good, clean, ODD, American animated fun!
23 April 1999
Lasted 2 seasons, the 1st collected on video and not sure about the 2nd. The first season was a complete story about the aliens' takeover attempt of Earth, Jim's befriending of the "Human Anomalies" club, and the race to assemble the Anti-Invasion device to save the world. 2nd season went downhill a little going episodic, exploring the origins of the other anomalies besides Jim, but still provided some swell prime-time adult animation and laughs. Too bad it was cancelled, as with all of MTV's best animated stuff.
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Liquid Television (1991–1994)
The definitive TV animation of the '90s
23 April 1999
A brilliant and often demented collection of artists and the then experimental MTV gave us a new look at what animation could accomplish in the '90s. Combining animation, CGI, live-action and puppets, we got anything from 15-second bites to season-length serials exploring the adventures of such characters as bad-a** biker puppet "Winter Steele," pi**ed-off flower "Crazy Daisy Ed," the plastic-haired live action story of "Dog Boy," and those precocious youth "Bobby & Billy," and more than I can even remember. Don't forget this is the show that introduced us to "Aeon Flux," "The Head," and "Beavis and Butt-Head." This show changed my life. Well, sort of.
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10/10
Chucky finally gets down to business
5 April 1999
The Child's Play movies were pretty lame, I admit. The first was fun, almost a parody of slasher flicks by making the villain a little plastic doll ... but Chucky's "take no s**t" attitude made him a memorable movie monster. Parts 2 and 3 gave us little Chucky and lots of cookie-cutter characters, leaving their best asset untapped. Well Child's Play is rechristened Bride of Chucky ... and now things really get rolling. Don Mancini and Ronny Yu take the best of Chucky and build a brand-new kick-ass movie around him. Sure, we all thought that bringing in a new "bride" for him would be cheesy ... and OK, it was, but it was an inspired origin as Tiffany joins Chucky to create one the greatest crime couples the cinema has ever seen. Over the top action and some terrific black humor make this one a winner. "Don't F*** With Chuck!"
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Strangeland (1998)
Captain Howdy's makeup's the best thing going for this movie.
5 April 1999
I agree that this is a pretty poor movie. I originally saw some very brief TV spots and it looked intriguing ... well, I finally rented it (after the extremely disappointing From Dusk Till Dawn 2) and I have to say that it was pretty much a case of wasted potential. Dee did an adequate job as the villain ... and I have to say I loved that Captain Howdy's makeup and look. The setup was OK, an internet stalker, while not original, could've led to an OK thriller. The story, however, was completely formula at its best, and just plain stupid at its worst. What do you expect from a guy who's never written anything longer than the lyrics to a metal song? Lunchbox-3, age: 23.
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Popcorn (1991)
Cheesy horror fun.
31 March 1999
This actually was kind of a fun horror flick, as the Scream movies were. The best part in my opinion is the movies-within-a-movie the characters show at their sci-fi festival ... cheesy 50s stuff similar to what was done in Matinee.
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Monster in the Garage (1997 Video)
9/10
One of the greatest papier-mache-monster-hiding-in-a-garage movies of all time!
20 March 1999
One of the greatest no-budget movies ever to hit home video. A galaxy-spanning saga of a blood-hungry alien who holes up in a suburban garage and begins snacking on guests at a party. Add in some G-men in black, Farmer Hank, and an alien bounty hunter, and it's obvious why they say, "Director Joe Sherlock doesn't make good movies, he makes bad movies FUN!"
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