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Reviews
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Excellent.
All I can say is, this movie terrified me. Not just watching it, not just seeing what happened to these teenagers, but thinking about the entire plot. Every victim in this movie was killed in their sleep, in there dreams. The idea that dreams can be harmfull is a mortifying one. I had nightmares for years because of this movie. You've got to see it at least once. Terror at its best.
Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
Terrifying
Although not 'horror' by today's bloody, gory standards, Nosferatu is a psychic thrill. Max Schreck is the ideal vampire. His pure ugliness makes him, versus today's sleekness and attractiveness of vampires. Modern vampires have an allure to them, a strange attractiveness. This vampire has absolutely nothing attractive about him. Whereas vampires now represent more of a dog-like being, Nosferatu presents Max Schreck as a rodent, a rat. The 'fangs' are placed in the front of the mouth, not concealed by the lips, just as a rat. Commonly seen vampires have two enlarged canines for fangs, making them rather dog-like. Nosferatu is just what a vampire should be; horrifying. He is not attractive in any way, and just his appearance makes you want to avoid him. Also take note that modern vampires only have an affect on their victims. Nosferatu, when in his new home, brings horrible plague. Insanity takes over in what once was a beautiful land filled with happy people. Depression strikes, famine takes over, and this does not just occur to those who have been bitten by the vampire. Rather than moving just one at a time, from person to person, he affects the whole city. This is what makes Nosferatu amazing. Heaven forbid one will just have to look beyond the surface, and realize how horrible this person really is.
Hardware Wars (1978)
The funniest 15 minutes on video!
I laughed. I cried because I was laughing so hard. The 10 bucks I spent on the video were well worth it, and I willingly kissed them good-bye. This is the only top-notch Star Wars parody out there. Although it is nothing near a full-length feature film, this is yet to be topped comedy wise. The wookie monster will always make me laugh. The only thing is, I wish they didn't add those pathetic new digital features. Don't get me wrong; they didn't take away from the movie at all. They really didn't dit in with the rest of the film though. New effects or not, this is a worth-while movie. 10 out of 10.
Motel Hell (1980)
Great!
I really enjoyed this movie! It is so funny! Rory Calhoun does an excellent job as Farmer Vincent, and I give credit to the filmmakers for concocting such a masterpiece! Rent this movie as soon as possible, you definitely want to see it before you die!
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
one great movie
this movie was chilling, suspenseful, and incredibly realistic. i would recommend this film to any single person. one thing, though: before you see the film, recognize the fact that in order to enjoy it, you must have a wild imagination, and you have to think about the movie.
American Pie (1999)
Hmm
Seeing all of these good ratings and reviews, I feel alienated speaking badly of "American Pie." Yes, the movie did have it's funny moments, but like someone previously stated, this movie should not be seen by its target audience. "American Pie" appeared to be similar to the much funnier and superior "There's Something About Mary," only it made feeble attempts at mimicking what was in "..Mary." Overall, this movie has its moments. Only problem with it is, there's just moments.
Doctor Blood's Coffin (1961)
Really cool
This is one great classic. Definitely a rip off of Frankenstein, but still really neat. I was very happy when I found this in the video store, and I will never regret buying it.
Day of the Woman (1978)
Why would someone give this a bad rating?
And I am not being sarcastic. This movie is mesmerizing right from the beginning. The production values must have been low, but that's not a significant reason to call I Spit On Your Grave (I've never seen or heard it be called Day of the Woman before) a bad movie.
The cinematography is strange. I must admit the camera angles can be a little, hm, unnerving, and sometimes appear to be shot from a hand held camcorder. That's the reason why I only gave the movie a 9. Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.
The plot is thick, or at least compared to several other movies that I have viewed. And the plot is very enthralling. This movie shows the horror of rape, and I feel that it does an excellent job at that. The post-rape revenge section is great. All of the death scenes look realistic, and are simply exciting.
Another user commented negatively about the absence of music. I have never before seen a movie without any music, and it is ingenious. The no-music atmosphere puts a very realistic edge on this movie. For instance: In a real-life murder, one does not hear eerie music or the classic "Ree-Ree" sounds. The absence of music is original and highly effective.
I Spit On Your Grave is one of the most original movies that I have ever seen, and it will probably stay that way for the rest of my life. The movie is mesmerizing, and the performances are top-notch. This film is like no other, and I highly reccomend it. If you don't like this film, you must only be looking at the surface. Dig deep down into the plot and performances, and you will find a fantastic movie that will never be topped.
Female Trouble (1974)
OH MY GOD!!!
This is John Waters at his best! I found this remarkable gem at Blockbuster today, and nearly went insane when I found it there. This is John Waters' funniest, and most shocking movies, right up there with Pink Flamingos. (In this case, I should say Pink Flamingos is right up there with this.) This is definitely John Waters best movie. It is unbelievable that this video is out of print. Some people must be very ignorant to not print THIS video. Anyways, in the rare case that you see Female Trouble in any store, BUY IT! If you don't like it, you can sell it for tons more than what you paid. Then again, if you don't like it, there's definitely something wrong with you.
The Incredible Torture Show (1976)
GROSS, HORRIBLE, SICK, GREAT MOVIE!!
Bloodsucking Freaks is an absolute low for movies. Like a porno flick gone bad. Bloodsucking Freaks features numerous young women, in the nude, getting dismembered, mutilated, electrocuted, and just plain tortured. Sitting through this movie is torture. I LOVED IT! I GAVE IT A TEN! Seamus O'Brien is excellent. This movie is undescribable. The torture scenes are terrifyingly realistic. Unimaginable devices are used. This movie is captivating, entertaining, funny, and plain fun. Just watching this movie is a riot. I love it. This must be the goriest movie I have seen. It is excellent. Buy it.
Desperate Living (1977)
oh wow!
this is truly an amazing movie! sort of like a twisted up bedtime story. i really enjoyed this movie, so i gave it a ten. if you admire john waters, buy this movie. please note that this does not have Divine in it AT ALL! Divine does not appear for any amount of seconds, besides what several sites think. Even so, the movie gets a ten. CARLOTTA, ROCK ON!
The Alternative Miss World (1980)
Funny, hip, but gets a little boring.
I Wanna Be a Beauty Queen is a good movie. It is a movie made out of Andrew Logan's Alternative Miss World pageant, where those of both sexes compete for the title of Alternative Miss World. The contestants, with names such as Miss Carriage, Miss Handled, and Miss Winscale Nuclear Reactor, make outrageous costumes ranging from full body suits to huge, poofy dresses, all the way down to almost nothing at all. The movie is funny with all of the outrageousness, but it seems to drag on a little bit. It is very Warholian, which is not my favorite. But Divine, of course, makes the movie a whole lot better. If you can get your hands on this movie, buy it.
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
This movie sucks
I never understood the huge amount of hype for the Star Wars trilogy. With Empire Strikes Back being the best one, and I still gave it a three, I'd say this is the second best, and I gave it a one. The acting is bad. A movie like Pink Flamingos is good with bad acting, but a movie like this needs good actors. The plot is thinner than that of Bloodsucking Freaks, and is completely unimaginative. It's very boring, and the only good part is the musical number, which really wasn't there in the original. Avoid this movie.
Polyester (1981)
Funny movie
Polyester was great. It's the tragic story of Francine Fishpaw, and how her whole life is one big screw up. Suddenly, it seems that things have improved greatly. Sorry, Francine. You've got another thing coming. Rent this movie NOW! It's very funny. If only I had an Odorama card...
Mondo Trasho (1969)
Good, but a little sick
Mondo Trasho is a great movie. The movie is funny, yet serious, and really makes a statement. The plot is thin, yet confusing even though there is no dialogue. At times, the movie gets a little sickening, like the very first scene. Or the Dr. Coat Hanger scene. But what makes this movie great is the music. I recommend this movie to anyone, that is, if you can find it anywhere.
The Incredible Torture Show (1976)
GROSS, HORRIBLE, SICK, GREAT MOVIE!!
Bloodsucking Freaks is an absolute low for movies. Like a porno flick gone bad. Bloodsucking Freaks features numerous young women, in the nude, getting dismembered, mutilated, electrocuted, and just plain tortured. Sitting through this movie is torture. I LOVED IT! I GAVE IT A TEN! Seamus O'Brien is excellent. This movie is undescribable. The torture scenes are terrifyingly realistic. Unimaginable devices are used. This movie is captivating, entertaining, funny, and plain fun. Just watching this movie is a riot. I love it. This must be the goriest movie I have seen. It is excellent. Buy it.
Multiple Maniacs (1970)
GREAT!
Multiple Maniacs is excellent. Better than excellent. This is my favorite Waters film. It is funny, yet serious. A few lines give you a chuckle, like "And then she inserted her rosary into one of my most private places." This movie, unlike other Waters movies, moves into the well-crafted characters' personal lives. My first Waters movie was Pink Flamingos, which I adore. But Multiple Maniacs ties Pink Flamingos in every way. If you like Waters, or if you don't, buy Multiple Maniacs. This is one of the strangest movies (other than Pink Flamingos) that I have seen. Divine is fabulous in this movie. She is excellent. This movie is scary, bizarre, and somewhat sacreligious. So, if you're not of the faint at heart, weak stomached, or religious freaked, at least rent Multiple Maniacs.
Pink Flamingos (1972)
sick, vulgar, depraved, EXCELLENT!
Well, I can safely say I'm human, Wong. And I didn't throw up. I laughed. And laughed. If this movie made you puke, there is something wrong with you. But this movie is incredible. I bought it four days ago, and have watched it 5 times already. The animal cruelty gets my heart, but not long enough to be guilty. The movie is shocking, disgusting, and vulgar. The acting is horrific. What else do you want from a movie? I am a die-hard cult film maniac. Pink Flamingos is awesome. It makes Rocky Horror, as someone has said, look like the teletubbies.