Reviews

What a pleasant surprise, to laugh oneself sore during a film festival screening of a sleeper independently produced film! This one is going to be a HUGE winner, as I'm sure the word will filter out through hipsters and sites such as "aint-it-cool-news.com" You deserve a break today... watch for, and go see "DIRT." You'll be glad you did!

Yowsa! If you REALLY want some ACTION, check out the babes and bombs on this non-stop thriller! Veteran star MARTIN SHEEN leads a trio of supermodels on a mission to stop nuclear terrorism... but director Dean Hamilton doesn't let this heavy plotline get in the way of massive doses of TEENSY-SWIMSUIT scenes, jiggly beach jogs, hubba-hubba hot tubs and the like! Want action? You'll get more of it here than in PEARL HARBOR. Want babes? You'll get an eyeful every two minutes. Want more? Go out and BUY THIS VIDEO! Yowsa, Yowsa, Yowsa! That's some mighty spicy meatballs!!!

I've seen hundreds, probably thousands of movies. Seldomly do I find a film as refreshingly different and daring as Dwight Yoakam's "SOUTH OF HEAVEN, WEST OF HELL." Its gritty, yet realistic portrayal of the old west is told with sardonic wit and brilliant characterizations. Too often the audience is spoon-fed cliche's and larger than life heroes, when the truth is that most men are cowards when facing the wrong end of a gun... most are bad-shots, too. The bad guy in a make-shift jail cell? Yes, most films would gloss over the existence of a "hole" in the floor, or even another in the wall to accomodate a conjugal visit. Most filmmakers would shy away from dynamite-slinging bandits, leading men that are not perfect, bad guys that are genuinely appealing and romances that are not consummated. But Yoakam's deft hand, and even stronger cast, combine for a truly unique and enjoyable film. Some viewers or critics "won't get it." Probably the same sort that called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" a karate-movie. "SOUTH OF HEAVEN, WEST OF HELL" is a stellar piece of quality, independent filmmaking. It's not a western, not a comedy but something so much more.

Despite this film's obvious budgetary limitations, the unique and memorable theme which introduced "Angels Of Death" into contemporary filmmaking must be acknowledged. Scripter Schilling's concept of the relentless "SOULTAKER" -- a sort of Grim Reaper / Terminator figure -- has since inspired countless copycats: "PROPHECY", "CITY OF ANGELS", "FINAL DESTINATION" and various sequels. It's no wonder that this film won the SATURN AWARD for best picture on video (1991), and it's no surprise that the SCI-FI CHANNEL aired it a record number of times (including a pathetic butchering to try and save the sinking "Mystery Science Theater 3000" series... however, not even the proven ratings superstar "SOULTAKER" could save the snickering savants!). Although it's only been ten years, the film is gathering cult and classic status... let's see what the next ten years bring.

The film starts out promising -- although entirely unoriginal -- but implodes with its tasteless commercialization of the tragic explosion of Flight 800 out of New York, before degenerating into an unintentionally funny embarrassment that makes "Plan 9 From Outer Space" look logical. Low point: rapid-fire exposition following decapitation scene in which none of the talkative characters even COMMENTS on their dead friend at their feet! Low point # 2: over-the-top mortician scene which tries to garner laughs out of the embalming process (how hilarious!). Low point # 3: sudden puppy love appears in the finale' in which one character gives his life so that another can live (when did this romance arrive)... but it's okay, "'cause I'll always be with you". Barf, Gag, who approved this script? Obviously, this film is targeted to pre-teens who have not experienced enough of life to realize the ridiculousness of every aspect of the plot. However, I must applaud the filmmakers' bold choice of casting only unattractive no-name boys, but utilizing lots of really cute teenage girls. Sort of a bizarro-world fantasy of the filmmakers, I'd guess. Don't wait for video; don't waste two hours of your life EVER on this mess.

Robert Louis Steven's adventure tale has been told many times, but never before in such a wonderfully animated manner. The characters -- all cute animals, reminiscent of Disney's best -- are adorable and enchanting. The plot execution is kept brisk and humorous, so as to not frighten small kids. Our kids have watched their TREASURE ISLAND dozens of times, preferring it over THE LION KING, POCHAHONTAS, HERCULES and TARZAN. If you long for the feel-good animated adventures that Disney used to make, you'll love TREASURE ISLAND.

Set against the spectacular Rocky Mountains, this adventure is reminiscent of the Disney live-action classics (such as "Old Yeller" and "Escape from Witch Mountain"). Two women and two kids are stranded in the Old West when bad guys (posing as Indians) try to snag the stagecoach's cargo. Pitted against nature, time, and the pursuing baddies, this unlikely team must trek over the mountains to reach safety. This is a video to buy and keep in your collection... great mid-winter rental when cabin-fever makes you long for the great outdoors!

One woman, by herself in a house for 45-minutes of screen time, doesn't sound like a formula to hold you on the edge-of-your-seat... but FUTURE SHOCK is truly as thrilling as they come! Writer / star Vivian Schilling takes on those little fears we all suppress, and enlarges them to terrifying proportions, so don't watch this film alone!