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chickenlou
Reviews
The Faculty (1998)
Run, don't walk, AS FAR FROM THIS MOVIE AS YOU CAN
This movie makes the Relic look like Citizen Kane. Its terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Numerous stars make cameo appearances. But why? WHY? Such a random, nonsensical, derivitive, contrived, pile of malarky. From the appearance of Harry Knowles you might assume its a comedy. But I didn't hear anyone laughing. No siree.
To paraphrase Dan Quayle:
"What a waste it is to watch this movie. Or not to have not watched the Faculty is being very wasteful."
How true that is.
The Relic (1997)
Decapitron
This movie is bad. Really bad. It's like Die Hard in a museum, without any of the fun you get in either Die Hard or a museum. Actually, sarcasm aside, there are some pretty awesome scenes in the movie, mostly as a result of the terrible acting. Carefully watch for the melodramatic scream after the mangled swat-team visit: it's worth a rewind. Throw in a scully wanna-be, a superstitious ethno-cop, a hilarious riot where museum patrons go out of their way to run thru windows, a slimy sycophant, egregious overuse of the word `thalamus', a monster evolved specifically to decapitate people and the clockwork decapitation of most of the people mentioned above, and there you have it. Its bad, but you just might like it. Relic, I crown the king of the B movies. Long may you decapitate in peace.
Secret Agent 00 Soul (1990)
possibly the best billy dee movie, but still terrible.
This movie is terrible, but you'll have a grin on your face the whole time. The acting... the directing... the dialogue... UGH!
But if you're even the tiniest fan of Lando, this movie is worth it. Legend has it Billy De Williams would only play the part of Lando in Star Wars if he got to wear a cape. Well, he wears a cape in 00 Soul. Many capes. And even a Sherlock Holmes outfit. And a tux.
In summary: I came for the Lando, I stayed for the Mummy Rap (written by Lando's son, apparently!)