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The Mother (2023)
The Left Side of Lopez's Face
Netflix charges so much more than other streaming services just so that it'll have enough to hoist these kinds of half hearted projects on its viewers and say that they have so much original content with big names. Well what's the sense of having either if none of it is any good? With Mother, Lopez once again proves that her lucky turn at portraying the ill fated Selena, and her spotty dating history carry much more weight than her actual acting abilities. Mother also makes it apparent that it's past time she hang it up. If you've seen the left side of her face, the only side it seems she likes being photographed on, then you've seen the entire movie. As for the girl, although it's normally considered mean to say anything derogatory about kid actors, she spends 98.9% of the whole movie with teary wide eyes. As you can guess, the bigger names in this are onscreen for a total of maybe six minutes and although not great either, they are maybe the best six minutes of the entire thing.
The Menu (2022)
Triangle of Sadness does it better.
Those lavishing praise on The Menu, have apparently never heard of Triangle of Sadness.
Everything that The Menu struggled to do, Triangle of Sadness does so much more frequently, deliciously, revoltingly, sumptuously, brilliantly and just plain better.
For every moment that The Menu slips into dullness only to try and shake things up with with shock value, Triangle of Sadness is slapping the viewer in the face.
Unlike The Menu, Triangle of Sadness has something to say, whether you like it or not. To every giver, every taker, every service worker, every customer, every struggling person, every affluent person, every male, every female, every person who watches, it not only speaks, but screams.
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022)
FANTASTIC Sleeper Oscar Worthy Film
Give Daryl an Oscar on his looks and talent, and then give all the remaining ones to Emma Thompson.
This is a strange, almost taboo film, or so most of us have been brought up to perceive it, with TONS of heart in one hand and an icepick meant to break down walls, in the other.
I cannot say enough good things about it.
Put these two amazing, gorgeous, talented people in more films NOW. Oh, and tell your friends about this one since the studio seems to have no idea how to market it.
Time Trap (2017)
One of the Best (or Worst) cases of Rating Manipulations
This movie is as bad as any B-Movie can be. The making, the packaging and the marketing is, collectively, the first cardinal sin everyone involved with it commits. It is quite truly, a movie so harebrained in its conception and inept in its execution that upon viewing, a person practically has to wonder if it was real or imagined and then pray it was imagined and that you did not actually spend two hours of your life (any life) on the incredibly badly acted and directed, terribly-written, snorefest plot that this movie offers.
The second, unpardonable sin, the creators (and I suspect pretty much everyone related with the movie) commit, is the blatant ratings manipulation that is going on with it. For this movie to have ANY 10a at all, it would have to go backwards in time and be the first movie ever put to film and even then, it would be doubtful it would receive more than a 6, which is still way too high for thing inadequate pile of brain-dumbing, sleep-inducing junk. The case that it actually does have numerous 10s can only be explained by the crew recognizing early on that it is a complete joke, but running with it anyway in the hopes of recouping their losses.
Fall for it if you would like, but go there knowing that at least you have been warned. It is honestly not good enough to watch even if free, much less if you have to rent it.
Captain Marvel (2019)
Pretty Good, overall.
Captain Marvel is a good film, not a great film. It's not perfect either, but which of the MCU movies is? It is entertaining though. It is definitely a WHOLE lot better than the Thor MCU movies or the original Hulk entry. Is it Infinity War good? No way. Guardians of the Galaxy good? Not quite, but just about.
Larson's character is a little dull and the reaction to some of her jokes and banter with Fury was just as dull in the theater we saw it in.
Coulson's (Clark Gregg) screen time is little to none, and as an Agents of Shield fan, I was personally sad that it did not explore more of his character.
Samuel Jackson was Samuel Jackson like you see him in every movie he's ever been in. The Skrulls were cool. The cat was funny. The bit of background that the producers decided to add in this film was just about right.
The 90's feel was pretty well done, from Rock the Vote posters to the "Madonna" look, to the cars.
In as far as the 'PC'-ness some are complaining about and which are generating 90% of the bad reviews, it is really the same PCness these people look for and disparage in every movie they see. Look at the reviews for Jumanji, Welcome to the Jungle. "They" will find it in anything, because they live their lives looking for it. For every bad review, there is a person who: 1. Promised they wouldn't see it even though they knew they would; 2. Didn't see it, but rated it badly anyway (and WILL eventually see it); 3. Those who otherwise would not see it, but because of all the controversy will now see it. As such, I don't have to suggest anyone see this film. I'm pretty certain most everyone, on this planet at least, will. :)
A.I. Rising (2018)
Soft Robot Porn, but even so, you can find better.
From the beginning of the film where the really bad and annoying voice over literally begins to spell out that the robot's breasts must protrude ever so slightly and that her voice and face must vaguely resemble that of the male's mother, I knew I should turn this off. Like a bad car accident one happens to chance upon though, and has to stay and watch, you just feel 'less-than' afterwards.
I can think of no greater insult to movie-goers than a derivative film where the people who made it think that their target audience is so embarrassingly dumb, that they have to explain everything. This film does just that. Then, add cardinal film-making sin number two: resort to gratuitous sex in order to fill in film time. I guess you can't blame them though. Judging by the film's score (a laughable, bloated 7), there must be some who just enjoy that very thing. I can't understand why though. If you're looking for soft porn and bad voice overs, you can find better across the internet.
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Non-Spoiler Review.
Roswell, New Mexico (2019)
LOVE THIS SHOW!
Flaming haters will hate anything that threatens their little world of bigotry, ergo the low ratings.
Oh no, there is a MEXICAN in it, and dear lord ... a GAY!!! Lol. Imagine living with that much ignorance. It always gets me how mad bigoted people get at their portrayal in films and television, while obviously recognizing themselves enough in the characters to think they are being targeted. Too funny.
Luckily, for those not beaten down by their own hypocrisy, there is so much here to love. The cast is attractive and for the most part (with the exception of the actress that plays Isobel), it is well-acted. The story line is great if you ignore the episode or two where the main girl lead doubts the main male lead on so little evidence despite supposedly being a researcher, and so I assume analytical enough to know better. Watch. You'll discover it is one of the better series' out there right now.
A Ghost Story (2017)
Let's Put This To Rest (pun intended); Shall We?
First of all, every person involved in a film and benefiting from its continued rental IS going to fluff it up and rate it highly. That's just fact. Wouldn't you? As such, that knocks out at least 30% of the lavishly praise-full reviews.
Secondly, in many, if not most, of the over-8-star reviews, you see comments such as: "you have to be in the mood"; "if you watch it with an open mind"; watch it when feeling (insert sad word here)"; blah, blah, blah ... BUT, - and please correct me if I am wrong - isn't THE hallmark of a great movie the ability to transport you to a place you don't HAVE to prepare for?
Simply, this film was and is junk, and the majority of reviews are pretty incontrovertibly from crew, or from people who were easily manipulated into thinking that just because they were predetermined by outside factors into being ripe for it, that it was a good film.
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
BETTER than the ORIGINAL BY FAR!!! Loved it.
I would say I gave it a 10 to balance out the bobo-heads with no funny-bone in their body's low scores, but no; this movie deserves a 10 and more.
Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle is a stand-alone, HILARIOUS romp which leaves the original in the dust. Heck, HILARIOUS IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. Note that this is not to say that the original Jumanji was bad. On the contrary, it was great, especially for when it was filmed and who better than SIR Robin Williams, but in terms of laugh-out-loud good fun and non-stop smiles, this Jumanji far outpaces and outdoes the original.
While my BF and I have somewhat different tastes in movies, and he is not a Rock fan (he loved him as a wrestler, not so much as an actor), we both laughed SO MUCH while watching this. The Rock knocks it out of the park with equally stellar performances by Jack Black and Kevin Hart. What is even more fabulous is that it has kids humor, yes, but also 'thinking-people's humor' in the form of obscure little tidbits which are dropped here and there and keep you on your toes and grinning ear-to-ear. There is hardly any scene where you step out of the roller coaster ride of fun it sets you on from the moment they (and you) are IN Jumanji.
Do yourself a favor. Watch this, and if you don't laugh raucously at LEAST six times, seriously, consider what else might be wrong. In fact, if you read through some of the negative comments, you see the same old, bored, stagnant people complaining about it being "too PC", AND BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Cry me a river. If you notice these people's other reviews, it is easy to see that anything that they consider too scary (read: progressive) to fit in the mold of their little minds and world, automatically gets relegated to the 1/10 pile. Shame.
In closing, this Jumanji gained a place within my favorite movies of all time, and the only thing which makes me sad about it, is that 1. I wonder if upon a fourth viewing (we saw it three times) through my 20th it will lose some of its luster; and 2. that it wasn't much, much longer, as I did not want the fun to end.
The Bachelor (2002)
Seriously?
Dear god. Do these women not have an ounce of self-esteem or pride? I am watching Ari's season and I just want to scream at how these women (some literally crazy ones) put themselves through this for a guy just like any other guy. Oh, and lastly is the list of Latinas who sign up so thin or poor that you have the ONE moronic one who is beyond embarrassing to watch? No wonder this show is rated so low. Skip it.
Reggie Watts: Spatial (2016)
What was this?
What was this and how did it ever get a national spot on air?
This show just goes to proves that anyone can now call themselves a "model" even if they weigh 600 lbs.; a "journalist" even if they can't write or have a terrible grasp of the English language; or as in this case a "comic", without having to ever back it up with anything remotely funny.
Me, Myself and I (2017)
No.
I used to love IMDb, but it has gotten to where you just can't trust reviews or ratings any longer. THIS show is a prime example.
First, the good. While I normally don't like shows with kids in them unless they are highlighting the kids, the child actors in this are GREAT and the only reason I am giving it a 2 instead of a 1. Their delivery is spot-on and their story is cute.
That said, and please forgive me for coming across as shallow, but how did such a cute kid become the later versions of his supposed self? The two older versions are not visually appealing and truthfully, there is so much more to watch or do than to dedicate time to watching something which is not visually appealing. Granted that the 'middle' version of the character's story had a couple of pretty funny moments, it wasn't enough to discount the rest of his story arc.
The older version of him was just plain DULL.
I would definitely recommend watching the first episode as it really isn't that long, after which I think you'll come to the same conclusion that this is not destined to be a hit and that the current reviews don't seem all that kosher.
The Handmaid's Tale (2017)
Waiting for something GREAT to come on Television? Your wait is Over. THIS is IT.
Strong is the word for this series, and little, weak people detest strong so be prepared for the fake reviews and thumbs down across the actual reviews for it. Fear is a powerful thing.
The Handmaid's Tale is perhaps one of the the best Television accomplishments of not only the year (hands down), but of the decade. It is a profound glimpse into a future that could very well happen were it not for people like most of you and me.
In three unforgettable episodes, so far, women such as Offred ("Of FRED", since she belongs to Fred), played by the inimitable Elisabeth Moss, are coerced through bodily harm to be both concubine and scape/punching goat for well to do families. These women are subjected to physical, emotional and mental abuse in the name of God, or if not so much in the name of God, under the twisted word of god, by man. This is not to say that it is a Christian-bashing show, but it depicts what could happen under a theocratic society.
What is most outstanding is that the acting is so amazing, that its quietest moments may be its most powerful. In fact, at times, the series can be emotionally overwhelming and draining — but isn't that a characteristic of a superb and masterful viewing experience?
Don't turn away from it.
The Hollow (2016)
Absolutely AWFUL
First of all, if people are going to write fake reviews, they need to be a little less 'enthusiastic' and more realistic when it comes to honestly terrible movies.
There is NO way in the WORLD anyone that is not shilling this movie could give it a 10. There is JUST NO WAY.
The plot is maybe the only thing that deserves 1-Star. The rest is a ZERO. The acting is horrendous. Seriously, you could find better acting on a soap opera. The southern accents are laughable and absurd.
The casting, was horrendous. Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR actresses that look almost exactly the same (I actually thought that would turn out to be a part of the plot, but it wasn't), NO chemistry between the leads, one of the main actors came across as a whiny, crying, sniveling loser instead of what his role placed him as, the others were complete caricatures of a bad parody wherein the butt of the supposed jokes are hillbillies and rednecks, the other main actor just seemed bored and stiff and like he REALLY didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be there either.
It is just utterly BAD. Awful. Horrendously terrible.
IF you actually opt to watch this, DON'T say you weren't warned. Oh, and come back, as penance, and leave a review in order to save another poor schmuck the pain.