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Reviews
Live Feed (2006)
Horrific in all the wrong ways.
I've no idea what movie the '10 Star' reviewers on here have seen but it stretches credulity to think that it was the same one that I've just suffered through.
I really struggle to find anything to recommend about this movie, I really do. The best I can come up with is that, in a time when the movie industry is moving towards CGI blood as the standard, it is good to see that somebody still seems to keeping practical effects alive... Even if they aren't exactly convincing here.
Oh, and Taayla Markell is very easy on the eyes.
There, that's two good things. As for the bad... Where the heck to start? Well, you might have noticed this review gives no indication of what the story is... That's because it's barely there and only really serves to string together bland and unconvincing murder scenes.
Unconvincing is really a word that sums this movie up. Set 'somewhere' in China, the fact that it's clearly a Chinatown somewhere with English street signs and all means that 'suspension of disbelief' has been kicked to the curb and we're not even 3 minutes in. It only gets worse from there.
The acting is uniformly terrible, not even up to the standards of daytime TV soaps, though given the dialogue they have work with not even Alec Guinness could do anything with it. The characters are also poor with absolutely none of them being remotely likable. By the movie's end you really won't care who lives but you will hope every one of them dies. This won't be out of the desire to watch another boring torture scene, but for the reason that there all vague stereotypes. Speaking of, this movie also contains a veritable rogues gallery of offensive Asian stereotypes. A dog's getting its head chopped off inside of 5 minutes and by the end the gangster's molls are delivering the type of dialogue that would shame an 80's 'Nam movie.
With lot's of Asians in the movie you just know that some of them are into their martial arts and, yes, there's a lot of 'Crap Fu' on display. The director really doesn't know how to frame action, or anything for that matter, but definitely not action.
I could go on but I'm too depressed. To sum up there's no story, it's technically incompetent (outside of the effects), the acting is atrocious, the script dire, the characters loathsome (and that's just our 'heroes'), the setting unconvincing, the stereotypes offensive, the violence boring and the supposed dark comedy non-existent.
I saw it for free (on TV) and I've paid too heavy a price. Don't make the same mistake, watch something else!