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2/10
Don't waste your time on this
15 August 2003
Even being drunk with a bunch of close friends, which is how I saw it, doesn't make it any more palatable.

This film sank many budding film careers, judging by how many of the actors appear in only this one little experiment in excrement. (One notable exception is Danny Elfman.) Hervé Villechaize is probably the best actor of the whole lot, which should give you some idea of the depth and quality of acting brought together in this bastard-piece.

Whoever pitched this idea to the producers must have forgotten to budget for sets or costumes; what they got looks like they snuck into an empty filming stage on some weekend and used whatever they could find in the way of costumes and sets lying about. The "teleportation" doorway is nothing more than - I kid you not - a large pair of buttocks drawn on a sheet hung loosely on the wall. So much for the "fantasy" angle.

I don't remember much about the film (thankfully), except for a few unsavory images of Herve permanently burned into my memory, and a vague recollection of a dance sequence near the end featuring someone resembling Cloris Leachman. I guess it's good that such a work is so forgettable, otherwise I'd be waking up screaming in the middle of the night from flashbacks.

I suppose this film might be a good source of campy entertainment for a suitably inebriated fraternity on an otherwise wasted Saturday afternoon.

Well, no, probably not.
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Soylent Green (1973)
10/10
A classic even after 30 years
15 August 2003
This was Eddie Robinson's 101st film and his last, and he died of cancer nine days after shooting was complete. All of which makes his key scene in the movie all the more poignant.

Although some of the hair and clothing styles are a bit dated (also note the video game shown in the film), but the subject of the film is pretty much timeless. Heston said he had wanted to make the film for some time because he really believed in the dangers of overpopulation.

Several things make this film a classic. The story is solid.

The acting is top-notch, especially the interplay between Heston and Robinson, with nice performances also by Cotten and Peters.

The music is absolutely perfect. The medley of Beethoven, Grieg, and Tchaikovsky combined with the pastoral visual elements make for some truly moving scenes. This was the icing on the cake for the film.

And the theme (or the "point") of the film is a significant one. Yes, it's a film about overpopulation, but on a more important note it's a cautionary tale about what can go wrong with Man's stewardship of Earth. It's in the subtext that you find the real message of the film. Pay attention to what Sol says about the "old days" of the past (which is our present), and note how Thorn is incapable of comprehending what Sol is saying.

This film is one of my top sci-fi films of all time.
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Nightfall (1988)
83 minutes of soul-sucking I'll never get back
11 August 2003
Having read the classic sci-fi story by Asimov, I was, of course, expecting something better. In this case, seeing two wheelchair-bound spasmatics fighting each other with brooms and a bucket of manure would qualify as "better". This film was even worse than "A Boy and His Dog", another sci-fi semi-classic rendered horribly on film.

After being told about this film, Asimov reportedly told everyone he could that he had nothing to do with making the film, and to avoid it at all costs. He's probably rolling over in his grave right now just thinking about it.

The filmmakers attempted to portray a primitive society on the brink of technology, but what it looks like instead is that they simply raided the wardrobe closet of a low-budget renaissance festival. All the sets are little more than tents erected in the middle of a desert. Their astronomical "sounding" instruments are seashells and string glued to pieces of wood. (Yes, seashells - I wish I were making this up, but I'm not.)

My only regret is that I actually stayed to see the end of the film, in the hopes that the film might redeem itself with a climactic ending. Nope.

Take my word for it, if you don't like the first five minutes of it (and you won't), stop right there.
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