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Reviews
La tumba de los muertos vivientes (1982)
Had to fast-forward(spoilers ahead).
Very dull. They would have had more success snipping off 25 minutes(no one would notice) and releasing it as a lame episode of Night Gallery. Hell, they both have the same picture quality. Keep your finger on the Fast Forward button while watching. Warning, film does have a resolution.
Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
A waste.
Why? The Omen series had so many redeemable qualites. Damien was charming as the Antichrist, now we have a bratty girl that wants to kill everyone!
Everyone knows the third sequel should have taken place minutes after the last one. And had Sam Neil as Damien being resurected after three days after from his death and later introducing the False Prophet. Finally Thorne industries rules the world with Damienism becoming the major religion. From there, the film-makers could do what they wanted and I would be satisfied.
And then we have this movie with a shoe-string budget. Heck, even the Omega Code movies were better.
Megiddo: The Omega Code 2 (2001)
I'm an atheist and even I was entertained.
I know my fellow atheists are going to call me a traitor for this, but just because I don't believe a word of it, dosen't mean I can't be amused by End-time films.
Clique, but far more entertaining than "Baal", the Omen movies, and Left Behind, and far less preachy then "The Stand". I was expecting the worse and I ended up surprised.
I was rooting for Alex Stone the whole time. But what have been far more interesting is if the Devil was made to be a sympathic character like in Paradise Lost. I mean, he's obviously read the Bible and knows he's going to lose, why is he following God's game plan?
Only problem is: Michel York is Jesus? Whatever.
End of the movie, Satan should have looked far different and maybe even grown to Godzilla-size and crush tanks while breathing fire and summoning seven-headed dragons.
In the end, as in the book, God is at last revealed to be a coward and a hyprocite; killing everyone who dosen't worship Him and making His enemies bow to Him. Considering the amount of attrocites in the Old Testement, He makes the Antichrist look almost saintly in comparason.
Uchû Kaisokusen (1961)
It was a philosophical allegory on self deception and the nature of reality and perception.
The Invasion of the Neptune Men wasn't just an action movie, but a deep, and surreal tale of love, redemption, war, peace and the nature of our place in the universe. Beautiful in its own way, comparable to Shakspere and Milton in it's storyline. Evil is destroyed, and hope remains in the hands of the one true savior, Space Chief. Check out the cameo of Hitler.
The Haunting (1999)
Already reviewed,Forgot a few things.Defend this movie till the end.No spoilers.
I have some more things to say after reading the reviews.
I liked this movie and I'm going to defend it.
1.The One line summary "Some movies are born bad" is used 400 times.How childish and unimaginative can you "reviewers" be?
2.You can say this movie is bad,terrible,and a thosand other things and you can blame it on lousy script,acting,special effects,whatever.That is your right,but it is not "laughable","campy","MST3kable",etc.This movie at least had dignity.
3.I have been subjected to the worst of the worst.My major is film critsicm and those who say this is "The worst of film ever made",are misinformed and do not know what they are talking about.The worst films are "Troll 2","Hobgoblins","Manos the hands of Fate","Reptilucus".I don't see "The haunting on that list,do you?.
4.I HAVE read the book and seen the old 1963 version.Yes,that was more scary,but made less sense.Maybe it would be better if the title "the haunting" would be left out to satisfly some people.I know how it is(just look what hollywood did to Godzilla).But you had a choise to see it and if you think you can do better,then go ahead.Make your own movie.I did:Hobgoblins(2000).If I can redeem a terrible film like Hobgoblins with no budget just think what you could do with a 80 million budget.
Done.See the movie.It is worth it!
Donkeyhead (1998)
A nightmare.
Some How They Have Done IT! They plucked an fragment of the worst nightmares of the insane and put in light.Imagine if you will.A (badly)animated figure with a donkeyhead shouting out meaningless words and absurd pharses from the far corners of insanity itself.Watch this short film for the 10 minutes it lasts and count yourself lucky that no harm was permantly done.
The Odyssey (1992)
A mess.I was expecting Wonderland or Narnia,I got Goonies!(Spoilers ahead)
While the acting and lines are silly! This series doesn't really have a plot or a point at all.Its just a whole lot of pointless encounters which is going no where.I stopped watching it when I realized that Jay will never reach the tower and by the time he does I will stop caring.The acting and lines are horrendous! Was there any thought put into this at all? Was there even a script? The characters shout their meaningless dialogue at thin air or state the blatantly obvious,all while not even looking at their fellow 'actors'.My biggest problem was "Last Time On Odyssey",they would give us a review of what has happened previously before each episode,even when it had nothing to do with the episode we are going to see! That is just pointless and would confuse rather than clearify.Since it gives the impression of DOWNWORLD being real and not just a part of Jay's subconisus,I would like things not to reflect Jay's ignorance about EVERYTHING! I mean this guy dosen't know even his mythlogy,so the story just keeps the name of the mythical fiqure they are encountering and just makes it a vampaire or something,to fit into whatever pointless advantere comes next.I will not even go into the battle scenes,because if I do I will cry.Imagine about a dozen kids,about ages 12 to 15,branishing plastic clubs or wooden swords hacking uselessly at each other while swinging from vines and shouting dialoge like "TAKE NO PRISONERS",it starts to hurt when it happens three times each episode.While at first glance this looks like an entertaining show,wait a while it will grind on you.
Angels in the Outfield (1994)
Predicable,unbeliveable,and just plain BAD! So much for angels working in subtle ways!
Warning! Spoilers!
This is your typical disney film.
1.Policticly correct what with the foster home that has an even divison of races.
2.Insults the viewers intellect with its simplistic lines.
3.The boy's slezy father is almost directly taken from the Never Ending Story 2.
4.In a world full of crime,disase,corruption,starvation and other proplems that need to be taken care of,only a losing team is worthy of divine intervention.UGHHHH!!!
5.Did you know that angels don't like swearing?! Where the heck did that come from!
6.In helping the team,the angel cause pain and humilation on the opposing team.Very angelic indeed!
7.The team the angels are helping are called...can you guess...THE ANGELS! Disney at its worst!
8."Just got his training wings." Brillent line!
My conculsion:I did not like it at all.
Convict 762 (1997)
Ever notice that a movie made by the sci-fi channel is never labeled as such?
Movies like this are made by the sci-fi channel,advertised,shown and then released and they don't accept responsibility for this abomination.Why is the tagline to this movie is"The more he kills,the stronger he gets!" Untrue! And why must all prisons in the future be in space? Are there no other reasons for colonizing other worlds?