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5/10
Could've been so much better...
24 January 2003
Warning: Spoilers
This production could have been so much better. Spoiler Warning: if you haven't seen this or don't want it spoiled, stop reading here. This film is supposed to be three half-hour episodes of a reality-TV series stitched together in a marathon format, a la some of the "Cops" or "Real World" marathons that come around from time to time. This mock reality series called "The Contenders" or "Series 7" (or both?) involves 6 people, chosen at random by their "government numbers," who must kill the others in order to become the champion.

Mocking reality TV in this way could have been pretty high-concept stuff, but the execution failed to live up to the vision. The acting is so-so and the plot just doesn't seem to get there. It just sort of peters out at about 85%. The director didn't seem to be able to decide if he was going to mock reality TV, or if he was going to parody it, and that failure to decide is evident throughout. Either one would have been interesting, but the fence-straddling compromises the entire production. The director tried to include too many ideas, and at some point it just wears thin. Reality TV is such an easy mark -- even when this was still in production -- that a more subtle touch would have worked better. Frankly, for dystopian future television programs, "The Running Man" is a far more interesting and well-executed idealization, and less dated than one might think, given that it's sort of long in the tooth by now. "Delusions in Modern Primitivism" is a better mockumentary about how we are voyeurs to self-destruction.

Don't waste your time with Series 7: The Contenders. Watch "Network" or "Delusions" or "Running Man," any one of those is more satisfying.
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Dead Tides (1996)
1/10
The Worst Movie Ever
19 September 2002
I'm not kidding. This movie is the worst movie ever. E-V-E-R. I'm not saying don't watch it, because if you stumble upon it on late night cable, you will not be able to stop yourself. It's like a train wreck or an automobile accident. You know you shouldn't look, you know you don't want to look, that the horror is so terrible as to be unspeakable. And yet, there you find yourself, looking, gazing, staring, in wide-eyed amazement, that something this putrid, that something so horrible in every aspect, could make it into distribution in any form. Simply unbelievable.
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10/10
Chilling
8 May 2001
Delusions is a chilling picture -- largely due to the fact that it isn't so far from the truth for so many these days. If you've found the movie on IMDB, it's likely that you've seen the film. And hopefully you laughed aloud, but if you're like too many of those who were in the audience when I've seen it, you didn't know whether to be shocked, horrified, or sickened, right before walking down to the Starbucks before hopping into the Jetta. It's awfully bright for such a dark comedy, which is just one of the reasons that Delusions won an honorable mention among shorts at the 2001 Sundance Film Festival. I'm not doing the film justice with these comments though -- if you haven't seen it, take 15 or 17 minutes out of your life and enjoy it, if you can find it. You'll thank me that you did.
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