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Reviews
Airplane! (1980)
It may be classic, but not for me.
This is a tough one for me to write, especially since I looked at 20 of the most recent user comments and not one of them had anything bad to say about this movie. Well, at the risk of getting bashed, I have to go against the majority on this one.
Yes, it set standards. It ushered in a new sub-genre of comedic spoofs that has taken a special place in our hearts. But I say, So what? I mean, to say what a movie accomplished is just hype. It's as simple as that. I have the same problem with Citizen Kane: Many people say it's the greatest film ever, which set my expectations too high when I watched it, and I ended up not liking it at all.
Here's the thing: I only remember laughing once during the whole movie (when the two voices on the PA are arguing about where to park and not park). I knew the punch line to most of the jokes before they were even made. For me, a comedy's jokes have to be extremely clever, whereas the jokes in this were just cheesy spoofs of obvious observations. The serious tone that the characters give doesn't add to the humor; it makes them look like bad actors.
The bottom line is that this comedy ushered in a new era of cheesy spoof comedies where most of the jokes completely miss their mark and ultimately leave you unsatisfied. (Remember Loaded Weapon 1?)
Well, of course, this is just me talking. As you can see, several other reviewers have a very different opinion, so you might end up liking it. I guess you'll have to judge for yourself.
Kuffs (1992)
Good clean violence and side-splitting comedy!
This movie is one of my favorites. I saw one scene of it (the dry cleaning store scene) when I was 8, but I was too young to care. Fast-forward to about 2 weeks ago, when my mom rented me some movies, and I fell in love with Kuffs.
Christian Slater pretty much plays the same character: a smart-alec with the ability to kick some @$$. I love the way he can play that role in this movie, with a hilarious joke or monologue to the viewers just about every other minute!
Sure, it has its rough spots: the action could have been better, and I would have liked to see a little more of Milla Jovovich, but overall, it's a winner.
I give it a 9 out of 10.
NetForce (1999)
If you come within 10 feet of this movie, you might die of boredom.
Being a fan of cyberflics like Hackers and The Net, and having a thing for movies based on Tom Clancy novels, I thought this movie was sure to be a winner. Too bad it turned out to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen; the kind that gives me a new-found respect for movies that I thought were bad before. Seriously. This movie is quite possibly the worst movie ever.
Where do I start? Let's go with plot. It's unbelievably boring, from start to finish. Not only that, but it's hopelessly confusing, with new characters being introduced every 2 seconds, so you can't keep all of them straight. Plus, the plot is so unrealistic and cheezy, I found myself frequently rolling my eyes. The endless baricade of cliches doesn't help any. I could guess what was coming next at almost every part of the movie.
The acting was just plain awful. Everyone did a terrible job of portraying emotions, or lack thereof. It was often hard to tell if they were even trying to do a good job.
I wanted to kick the man in charge of filming the movie nearly every other scene. Nearly 75% of the movie is shot with what appears to be an 8mm videocamera rather than movie film. This is probably the biggest mistake, as it only adds to the shoddy atmosphere, making it look like a home movie rather than a commercial production.
I never turn off a movie before it is finished, even if it is really bad. This is because there is always the possibility that the movie will suddenly get good, and I fall in love with it (which has happened before quite a few times). Actually, the final action scene was almost half-good. However, it was too little, too late. If the producers of this film expected one semi-decent scene to make up for 3 hours of crap, they are utterly mistaken.
Fortunately, some good things can come from this movie. It makes a nifty doorstop, paperweight, and doggy chew toy.
I recommend this movie to.. absolutely no one. If you come across a Netforce tape, drop it onto the floor and smash it by jumping on it repeatedly. Afterwards, be sure to grind your heel into it.
I give this movie a 1 out of 10.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
An awesome movie (14-year update)
Update: It's been 14 years since I was writing this review as a teenager. Rereading it today, I cringe at how forgiving I was of this movie's flaws. I like this movie less and less as I get older and now consider Episode I to be the ultimate cautionary tale of filmmaking. The original review is preserved for nostalgia.
Original: -------------------
This movie was the perfect addition to the Star Wars saga. Well, it was almost perfect. I agree with what most people have to say: The acting was great, the Special Effects were amazing, and the music was very well done (hats off to John Williams for composing the soundtrack; I fell in love with the song "Duel of the Fates," which plays during the light saber battle with Darth Maul.)
However, I must be honest: the movie is not perfect. Below, I have listed some points that make it flawed:
-While the special effects are great, they use the new style of computer generation, and it doesn't give quite the same feel as how it was done in the old films.
-Over half of the characters in the movie are computer generated. Personally, I liked it better when they were all done with people in costumes or puppets.
-Queen Amidala's hair styles get more abnormal in every scene.
All of these are minor flaws, and didn't affect my overall score. However, there is one other problem:
-Jar Jar Binks is in the film. For this reason alone, I must deduct one point off my rating. There is no excuse for an annoying character like that to even have a part in a Star Wars film, and now he's coming back in Episode 2. My only consolation is he is killed or exiled before episode 3 ends, because he is never shown in the later episodes.
I give it a 9/10 overall.
Fly Away Home (1996)
Wow.. I never thought it could be THAT good.
Believe it or not, this is a great movie. I had some misconceptions about it before I actually watched it. It's not a chick flick, it's not a sob story, and there are none of those stupid scenes where the geese almost die or have to be given away. I am very happy that a movie finally dared to break those cliches, and come up with an interesting family movie that will actually be watched by the whole family.
I give it 10/10.
The Rock (1996)
This movie rocks. (no pun intended)
If you haven't seen this movie, run to your local video rental place and pick up a copy right now! The Rock is hands down one of the best action movies of this decade.
The situation: A Disgruntled General from the marines, Francis X Hummel (played by Ed Harris) takes over Alcatraz Island and takes 81 tourists hostage.
Sean Connery plays a 60-year-old convict, John Mason, the only man who has ever escaped from The Rock. He reluctantly agrees to lead a Navy Seal team into Alcatraz.
Nicolas Cage plays the nerdy but brilliant Dr. Stanley Goodspeed, a chemical weapons specialist for the FBI, a man whose daily life mostly consists of sitting around his desk wasting time. He is assigned to accompany the Navy Seals to the rock, to defuse 15 Guided VX Gas Rockets.
This movie not only gives beautiful action sequences, but delivers genious character relationships and drama. Stanley makes a steady transition from being a wimpy nerd to being a "tough guy." Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage's scenes of back and forth dialogue are gold.
The other thing that makes this movie great is, it's a movie about Alcatraz, yet the producers still found a way to incorporate a spectacular chase scene, including a HumVee a Ferrari, and several cop cars!
Did I mention that the movie is produced by the 2 best names in hollywood? Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer are in the commander's seats, making sure this movie didn't stray from excellence.
I give it 10 our of 10.