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Reviews
Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002)
Propaganda, Propaganda
Oh Mr. Barker, Mr. Barker.....wherefore art thou, Clive Barker?
I'm not going to get as in-depth as the last guy, because I think he covered most of the particulars of why this movie stinks. I'll try to be a bit more concise. This movie stinks for the same reason that every Hellraiser movie after the second one stinks....it abandons the original point Barker was trying to get across and goes off into left field.....where all the dog crap is.
Look at the first two films...what was Barker's concept of "hell?" Was it a realm of torture & punishment for sinners? No. "Hell" was for people who wanted to experience the ultimate in pleasure or pain. There was no right or wrong to it. "Only flesh." Pinhead and his cenobites offered the ultimate in sensory experience, and it was up to the "victim" to decide if it was pleasurable or painful ("angels to some, demons to others," remember?). In a nutshell, Barker turned the concept of "hell" on its ear, and presented it as something totally new that was devoid of fire & brimstone, and was instead an "experience" that some people would seek out, and maybe even enjoy.
Then come along the last four Hellraiser films. These films fail to take Barker's ball and run with it, and instead present a vision that grows more & more akin to the Christian idea of hell: a dark realm where sinful, unsavory characters are punished for sins of the flesh (no pun intended). With each successive episode, we see Pinhead evolve from the dark pope of "the further regions of experience," to some kind of cackling, one-liner spouting "satan" figure whom we are supposed to revile, when it seems as though Barker wanted us to almost sympathize with him instead(eg: the last 15 mins of Hellbound).
While the third and fourth installments are more subtle in their leanings toward the Christian idea of hell (note the prominent use of fire throughout the third and the constant argument against "men of reason" in the fourth), Inferno & Hellseeker are nothing more than outright attempts by some frustrated & confused Christians to preach to the film-viewing public and fill the pews.
Think about it: You have Pinhead, a character who demonstrated in the first two films that he didn't give a damn if you were black or white, good or evil, tall or short, fat or thin: you opened the box, you were going to get what they offered. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less. They didn't care if you kicked your neighbor's dog, or if you helped your elderly neighbor with her groceries. If you solved the Lament Configuration, they would "tear your soul apart" regardless. Not to mention the fact that Pinhead and the cenobites where not even the main antagonists in the first two films, but merely helped propel the story.
All of a sudden, this dimensionless side character begins developing layers, and oh, are they the wrong kinds of layers. All of a sudden, he's got a motive for what he does. Think about it, in number 3: getting the box back, 4: swinging wide the doors between hell & earth for all eternity, 5 & 6: punishing "evil" people by messing with their minds/reality and admonishing them for their misdeeds. It's as though the tables are turned, and Pinhead instead has to seek out his victims, instead of them seeking him out (eg: Pinhead disguising himself as a bum and giving the box to Trevor in Hellseeker).
The overriding theme in the last two Hellraiser films is attrition, and it's done so poorly as to be laughable. You have a sadistic "demon" who at first takes great pleasure in ripping apart those who want to endeavor into the "further regions" of experience who is suddenly an expert on morality, and is endowed with the means to punish "evildoers." Hellseeker & Inferno are some of the preachiest films I've seen in years.
My only hope is that if the Hellraiser film series continues to grow, it will somehow harken back to its roots without becoming a remake, present something new in and of itself, and steer clear of what everyone expects "hell" to be.
Nine Inch Nails: Broken (1993)
Not for the squeamish
I actually own a bootleg of this video, and I can tell you that when my friend handed me the copy he'd made, being the loyal NIN fan that I was (and still am), I rushed home, not knowing what I was in store for. Two of my friends and I sat there as the "Happiness in Slavery" video unfolded in front of us, and, while as sick as we were from that, the finale set to the music of "Gave Up" left us in a state of utter shock. We sat there, mouths gaping open, skin pale, looking at each other blankly.
Alas, I've forced myself to watch the video time and time again, mostly while watching it with people who haven't seen it (it usually comes up in one of those "you ain't seen gross, man" conversations). Although extremely graphic, there is a subtle (and i use the term loosely) eroticism in the acts, both in the "H.I.S." video and in the finale of the series....it disgusts you, yet some morbid curiosity about the nature of torture and death keeps you glued to the set. Relief comes when the "killer" is finally hanged, but the viewer is still left pondering the authenticity of the video...IT JUST LOOKS TOO REAL!!!
In other words....after seeing this video, you'll swear off of Italian food and red meat for a solid week at the very least.
UHF (1989)
This one sticks with ya......
Like eating a bowl of raw pancake batter that you know will stick to yer ribs, this movie will remain ingrained in the memory of all who watch it. Of course, being a child of the '80's (and a child IN the 80's), I was weened on Yankovic's musical shananigans for years, getting a good chuckle every time. What's more, I never got tired of watching "UHF"!!!! It's one of the funniest films out there. If you haven't seen it, you haven't lived, my friends!!!!!!
End of Days (1999)
Disappointing....to say the least.
When I saw the teaser poster for this film in the middle of July '99, I could hardly contain my excitement. There was something about the mood created in the artwork that told me that this would not only be Arnie's triumphant return to cinema, but a breakout role for him as well. BOY, WAS I WRONG!!!! What I had hoped this film would be was an insightful journey into the mind of a man who's lost his faith in God, and must fight Satan, evil incarnate, at the same time. I was hoping that after the guns didn't work, Jericho would turn inward and find something within himself that could defeat the Devil. Sadly, throughout the entire film, we find Arnie in his "A Bazooka Solves Everything" mode as he goes after the girl, armed to the teeth and ready to blow the head off of any malevolent deities that get in his way. YAWN. The climax of the film is the most disappointing of all. The depiction of the Satan "creature" was trite and cliched, and the way Arnie defeats him was SOOOOO lame. The suspense was minimal, and even the one-liners were hard to swallow. Honestly, Gabriel Byrne's performance is the only thing that saved this film, in my opinion.
Predator (1987)
One of my favourite films
This film is, always has been, and always will be, one of my favourite films of all time. The concept of the film itself, the concept of hunting as a "sport" instead of a survival necessity, is very thought-provoking. It's been turned on its ear because for once, HUMANS are the prey, and not Bambi's mom. Save for a few technical discrepancies here and there, the film is extremely well-done. The plot and character development progress smoothly, and the cinematography is simply breathtaking at times. I don't care what anyone else says about the special effects; I still think they look pretty good, even by today's standards. The air of mystery that is maintained around the Predator itself is very effective in adding to the tense atmosphere of the film. No-holds-barred action and gunplay, relatively smooth dialogue, and good effects make this one for the ages. One of Arnold's best.