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Reviews
Masters of the Universe (1987)
Is He-Man back??
When I was 11, I saw this movie the day it came out. I loved it, but
like a lot of people, I wished they had more scenes on Eternia.
And I didn't remember so many lazer guns from the show. But
He-Man, Man-at-Arms, Evil Lynn, Beast Man and Skeletor were
perfect!! They all looked the part amazingly well! And the music,
sets, and special effects are equally great. And now there's new
He-Man toys, cartoons and comics. Whether or not He-Man
popularity is as strong as before, I'd love to see another movie.
But the funny thing is the theater wouldn't be packed with kids, but
with Generation X'ers like me. :-)
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Brad should've been Back
People have said "if you're going to do a Terminator movie, you
need Arnold." But you also need Brad Fiedel, who did the original
score to T1 & T2. His combination of synthetic rhythm, pounding
electronic beats and clanging metal made the viewer constantly
aware of the power of the machine.
Brad, we miss you and we wish you came back!
Jamin
Hulk (2003)
Rent the TV series
If you want to see a well done version of The Hulk, rent the 1970's
TV series (especially Kenneth Johnson's original pilot episode).
It's psychological, classy, and far more realistic than the 2003
movie.
Jamin
Spider (2002)
a web of boredom
I walked out on this movie after it tested my patience for 45
minutes. It's really one of the most boring films I've ever seen. It
might have a great ending, but I guess I'll never know. I'll take
"Existenz" any day. At least it has a story (and a creative one, too).
Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle (1999)
Poor Parody
There were many times I saw this movie on DVD and almost bought it. But I'm sure glad I didn't! This is the worst satire ever. I couldn't even watch the whole thing. It's way too long and never funny. Princess Leia with Danish pastries on her head might've gotten a couple laughs in 1978, but by now it's a tired and worn out joke. And what's the point of having the characters as thumbs? It has nothing to do with the humor (or lack of). I love Star Wars and fan films, but this is just bad news!
The Incredible Melting Man (1977)
It's still creepy
Alot of folks knock this movie. But I have to say it still gives me the creeps. I was about 5 when I saw it, and I've had nightmares since. Not as much now, mind you. I guess it's because I saw this movie at a young age. But I still think of this movie when I see tree sap on a branch, or a pine tree forest. It makes me think of that guy wandering around the woods in his white scrubs. I was at the video store the other day and they had it on DVD. But I couldn't even bring myself to look at the cover! Yeech!
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Boring Story
I've never read the books, but I love fantasy films (Conan,Dark Crystal,Excalibur). I have to say this movie failed in it's plot and characters. There was no clear cut moral choice our characters face. It was basically as this: the bad guys are bad because they are ugly and slimy. So there is no real threat. I didn't care who won or lost in the story. Some brief rambling about the world falling into darkness isn't good enough to create tension. And to top it off, the villains were uncreative in appearance. Black skin with fangs and color contact-lenses? Jeez!
Another big problem with the story is that there were no rules to it. Giant birds and fire breathing demons just pop in and out with no rhyme or reason. Trained Orc warriors are easily slaughtered by the dozen. A boy is sent on a mission to save the world with no combat experience, because it is "meant to be." And there is neither an explanation as to the rules of magic. What is it this ring can and can't do? The Death Star can blow up planets. But what can the ring do?? And far, far too many characters made a muddle of things. A frustrating film to watch with no payoff at the end.