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Project X (2012)
8/10
Guys will love Superbad meets Hangover!
13 February 2012
I love when movies don't pull punches. If the movie's about an out of control party, it better have: booze, drugs, cussing, sex, and lots of irresponsible behavior. This movie cashes its checks. The plot is similar to "Superbad" but it has a distinctly "Hangover" feel. The movie is shot entirely as if through a series of hand-held cameras, which I felt effectively added to the chaos, but beware if Blair Witch made you dizzy. My concern, however, is that this movie will mostly be appreciated by guys. Here's what passes for female character development: there are only two women characters in the movie (1)the gorgeous "friend" and (2) the gorgeous "conquest". I also suspect more mature viewers will have trouble not wondering about the insurance consequences of this party, but I personally had no trouble deciding to worry about that tomorrow along with the rest of the cast.
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7/10
Hit enough of its marks to be insightful and fun
11 December 2011
I admit that I'm a fan of school-age romantic comedies. I enjoyed this movie because a lot of the scenes rang true to my experiences at that age (except for the warehouse scenes -- hello creepy). I can remember putting my hand next to a girl's hand -- almost touching -- just to see if she'd go the last half inch. I can remember trying to get a do-over with a girl that I'd let slip away during high school. I can remember walking the streets of my town hoping to run into a pretty girl that I'd seen. I can remember picking the wrong girl because society told me she was cooler. And I can remember trying to catch lightening in a bottle on the last weekend before school starts. For some reason, this movie has slid entirely under the radar, but it deserves attention.
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7/10
Be afraid of what you wish for...
22 February 2005
The reviews spin this movie as a Bushies keeping the little man down documentary. It isn't. The movie never editorializes the way Michael Moore movies do. Heck, it didn't even have to be about politics at all as much as it attempts to explain why we are constantly reading how miserable the rich and famous are...

The movie is about a little guy that wanted to play with the big kids. Unfortunately, he got what he wanted. After writing several small time bios of people like Star Trek's Captain Picard, James Hatfield decides to hit the big time by writing a bio of then Governor George W. Bush. It worked -- for four days. The movie is about how an average, everyday guy reacts when the microscope of fame is turned back on him. Will he rise to the occasion and become a hero or be beaten down like a dog? Better yet, how would you react if all of your secrets were bared for all to see and judge? That's the question this movie explored for me.
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Sinful Deeds (2003 Video)
4/10
Sinful Deeds better than Mr. Deeds
10 August 2003
What's it with the softporn genre's lack of title creativity? Sinful Deeds, Sinful Passion, Carnal Passion, Carnal Lust, Intimate Lust... Who could keep them straight? Obviously, the primary goal is not to become a classic, but with names this generic I can't even remember which ones I've seen.

Well, I've seen Sinful Deeds, but it appears not many others have. The story is very original -- NOT. Dancers at a strip club are being killed one by one. Who'll be next? Who could the killer be? Oh, there will be no spoilers here. Except to say that the story is not the worst I've seen. The movies big problem: there are about three too many sex scenes with the lead actress. She's the best looking woman in the movie -- not saying much -- and her scenes are good, but there are 10 very similar scenes. You know there's something odd when you are fast-forwarding through the sex scenes of a softporn movie.
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4/10
No baltimore, no pants!
18 March 2003
This movie plays like the TV show Law & Order without the dramatic scene changes -- and just a little longer. The whodunit part holds together surprisingly well, but the acting is suspect. So, is the location. The movie was made and shot in Canada. So, why was it "set" in Baltimore? Since they clearly aren't in Baltimore, they do silly small-budget things like have bad signs that say "Baltimore Court House" and refer to Baltimore street names on which they clearly aren't. Also, the assistant prosecutor Maxim (nice name) is constantly wearing mid-length jackets over mini-skirts making it look like she's some kind of flasher. The skirts are too short -- this must have been shot in the Ally McBeal era of woman lawyer looks.
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Jerry Maguire (1996)
9/10
So good that it destroyed careers
13 March 2003
I just saw Jerry Maguire again for the first time since I saw it on the big screen back in 96. What a great flick! It was even better than I remembered it. What struck me was how great the three leads were: Cruise, Gooding, and Zellweger. Cruise has history. There was no way that he'd be defined by Maguire, but the other two were more newcomers -- at least to me. I can remember saying: watch Gooding and Zellweger, they're going places! But they never did. Not on to level I expected. Is it possible that Jerry Maguire set the bar so high for these two young actors that they could never again meet the audience's expectations?

This seems to be a problem for Zellweger in particular. I thought Nurse Betty was a fine movie. Bridget Jones less so. But they were both disappointing because Zellweger could not raise her performance to the level she did in Jerry Maguire. Same story with Cuba Gooding. Every time I see him in another movie I want him to SNAP OUT OF IT and start strutting around preaching about Quan.

The ending was awesome: Romantic conclusion followed by the comic wrap-up. I give it a 9/10.
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Exotica (1994)
6/10
Save the Oscars
14 November 2002
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was entertaining. Let me just say that up front because the rest of this review will make it seem otherwise.

Warning: spoilers ahead. Warning: rant ahead.

This is not a cinematic treasure. (1) The characters were are all very cheesy. They all gave off this swinger vibe. It made the film seem much older than 1994. Sure it wasn't filmed in 1984? 1974? (2) Don't good movies try to avoid plot holes? The entire plot line of the guy with the eggs was half-baked (sorry). What, the heck, ever happens to him and his stolen eggs? No one really noticed because no one really cares about this rather large side plot. If this is such an all-fired great movie, shouldn't we care about the characters? (3) The finale with the school girl stripper is an "a ha!" but if you think about it for a couple more seconds it either makes no sense or, worse, is pretty twisted. Not that twisted is bad, but the movie does not set up why he would want to relate his dead daughter with a stripper that gives him lap dances every night. "We do things for each other" Deep stuff -- NOT. More like the guy has the hots for the high school girl who babysat for him. After seeing her, who wouldn't? But it is still a much more pedestrian plot line. (4) The longhaired guy is an idiot character who looks way too much like Antonio Banderas. Plus, who would go to a strip club with such a lame DJ? Ooooh all that mumbling and missing the ends of dances is making me hot... Whatever.
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8/10
Kathleen Turner -- fagetaboutit
9 October 2002
I loved this movie. Not for the plot -- hokey. Not for the action -- not Indiana Jones level. Not for Danny DeVito -- almost midget humor. I loved this movie for Kathleen Turner. She's perfect because she's no bombshell. She does not have good hair or a gorgeous face. Nor is she well endowed, but, oh man, if you put her in the right "dress" she'll knock your socks off. Let's just say that she looks good in mud. Kathleen Turner is the best example of someone who is sexy without being drop dead gorgeous. Romancing the Stone captures all of her sexy je ne sais quoi better than any movie -- even Body Heat.
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The Tavern (1999)
5/10
A little too real
21 July 2002
The Tavern starts off very promising. A couple of sad sacks decide to throw dice and open a bar. Things go well, things go poorly, but the movie never seems to rise above pedestrian. If I want to see this story for real I can go talk with the owner of any local bar. It's touching--sure, but I'm not looking for this level of "reality," when I watch a movie. Besides, it isn't all that real. Each strategy for increasing business has an immediate impact -- suddenly, the place is packed! It's like the patrons were watching the movie. Otherwise how would they know instantaneously that the Tavern on Main had a new band/look/chef. 5/10.
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Private Call (2001 TV Movie)
5/10
I didn't need the fast forward button
28 May 2002
Warning: Spoilers
Most significantly, I got through this movie without hitting the fast-forward. This rare occasion for a soft-porn movie means that (1) the plot was not too boring, and (2) the next on-topic scene was never very far off.

Plot first: the movie is about this hottie cop that infiltrates a gambling/prostitution/blackmail outfit to get to the bottom of the murder of her roommate. The club's concept is that several high rollers get together for some high stakes poker, and the winner gets a free-bee with one of the prostitutes. The next day, the "winner" gets blackmailed with a tape of the previous night's exploits. That's plausible enough, but I had a really hard time figuring out how these guys made money. Poker only works if the house wins. It seemed that at any given time, the house was three of the four people at the table -- and the one mark always won! They even stacked the deck so that the outsider won. That needs to happen for the whole black mail thing, but if the person is walking with $30k of the house's money, how profitable can it really be? Their whole plan relies on people claiming their "prize" and then allowing these idiots to blackmail them for it. Who thought up that business plan?

Obviously, the plot was not the most important aspect of the movie. The T&A was top notch. The sex scenes were much more realistic and the women better looking than usual Showtime fare. For example, the lead actress Flower -- no last name (is the name her Mother gave her?) -- was top notch. Also, this movie was listed as "not rated" instead of "R" in the guide. This difference should not be overlooked.
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6/10
Funny and insightful stuff
24 March 2002
You aren't sure what to expect when seeing a very independent documentary about marriage. It could be sentimental, preachy, or even sad -- but funny? This movie will make you laugh out loud -- especially if you've done the big wedding thing. I hear that the makers of this movie really just interviewed their friends. If so, they run in a very funny crowd.

Although you probably won't see this in Blockbuster anytime soon, it could easily play to the general public. It is very professional for the local art-movie festival scene. People would watch if it played on HBO or Showtime.

Mild criticisms: the movie tried to partition itself into sections, but it still lacked direction and cohesiveness. Also, it left a couple of loose strings. What ever happened to the woman who wrote the article against weddings. Did she stay with her partner, or did they ever get married?

Nonetheless, the makers of this movie are in the right field.
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6/10
What the heck is treacle anyway?
24 July 2001
If you look up the definition of the two terms in the title, it will give you some insight into where the film is headed (I didn't know what brimstone was either--crazy Brits). I've always liked Sting's work, and I was intrigued to see Showtime was playing one of his movies that I'd never heard of. Since it got three stars in the TV guide, I figured it was better than Dune, and it was.

The movie is a very odd Indie film that really keeps your attention. Sting is really funny and spooky--especially considering how whitebread he has become since his alternative days. A summary of the movie--con artist takes advantage of a family's tragedy--sounds very depressing, but the movie is strangely uplifting. Maybe I'm just a freak.
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On the Edge (2001 TV Movie)
6/10
Actresses enter the twilight zone
8 July 2001
Actresses Helen Mirren, Mary Stuart Masterson and Anne Heche make their directorial premiers in this three-story movie. The ladies were able to score some high powered acting help to give this a major motion picture feel.

The short stories are kind of like the twilight zone in their feel--odd sci-fi stories that defy reality. Of the three stories, I liked the first one by Helen Mirren titled "Happy Birthday" the best. It had the best story--a funny future world where people are stratified by potential--and the best actors. John Goodman and David Hyde-Pierce are hilarious, and Sydney Tamiia Poitier is gorgeous. The other two stories are less exciting.

One interesting thing: check out the very short cameo by Ellen Degeneres in "Reaching Normal" written and directed by Anne Heche. Very interesting. It makes one wonder if this movie hasn't been sitting on the shelf for a year or more.

Also, if there is such a thing any more as an Andie MacDowell fan, check this flick out. She's looking great and sexy in "Reaching Normal."
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Night Calls: The Movie (1999 Video)
6/10
Not your usual Showtime fare
28 June 2001
Warning: Spoilers
Showtime plays movies of this genre almost nightly. Most of them are not worthwhile for entertainment or titillation. That's why I was surprised to see an IMDb average of nearly 7 for Night Calls. The usual score for Showtime softcore is 3-4. Now I know why. The movie was surprisingly funny, entertaining, and most surprisingly, much more graphic than anything I've ever seen on any of the mainstream pay channels. If this movie is R-Rated, the producers of all NR-17 movies I've seen have a serious gripe with the raters.

The movie is about two fake blonds who host a call-in (fictional?) show on the Playboy channel--similar to Love Line I think. They help their intern and a boring couple discover stuff. Possible spoiler: they are never forced to break into their "tool bag"--but it is strongly hinted that they will in the sequel.
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Exposé (2000)
3/10
Who gave this a 10?
20 June 2001
Whenever I see a movie that doesn't have a comment, I try to add one. A tough assignment for this nothing movie. The movie starts and ends like it is a "message" movie against the current system of returning battered children to their abusers. It's an interesting message, but the movie that occurs in between has nothing to do with it. It is kind of a whodunit, but the acting is so bad that it almost views like one of those softcore porn movies--it's just a little light on the sex for that style. Sandra Bernhard's acting is so stilted that it reminded me of a Saturday Night Live skit where they try to act badly. The daughter gives even the worst child actors hope.

It isn't even good bad TV because it tries to get all serious at the end with its child abuse message. Kind of a buzz kill if the ending unintentionally cracks you up the same way it with me.
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Frantic (1988)
4/10
Don't buy the IMDb hype
19 March 2001
Warning: Spoilers
****Spoiler Alert****

Why is everyone on IMDb going so nuts for this film? The plot lost me because none of the things Ford does make any sense. It was like his character read the script before he decided what to do. What else could explain his zero tolerance for the police and the embassy staff? Or his single-minded pursuit of this Dede character? His actions make even less sense when you consider that kidnapping Ford's wife was a stupid thing for the thugs to do. If they had just busted into Harrison Ford's hotel room with guns a blazing in the beginning, there would be no movie (or Israel I guess). From there, the movie degenerates into one of those movies where a common citizen out-cops the cops and out-thugs the thugs. Whatever.

The movie did have some amusing moments. I always loved it when Harrison Ford's conference kept interfering with the search for his wife. It was hilarious to see someone so distracted try to make conference small-talk, especially with everyone eyeing the sexy woman on his arm. I also thought the final scene where Ford tells a dying Emmanuelle Seigner, "You're going to be fine baby" with his wife right there. Let's face it, the wife had be wondering who this long legged twentysomething was. I expected the wife to remark "baby?" out loud. Ah, the 1980s. Gotta love it.
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5/10
1980s time capsule
11 March 2001
This flick is hilarious to watch today. The bad outfits, the bad hair, the gratuitous nudity! It's everything a teen wanted. Sure the plot is not in Oscar contention, but this is entertaining bad TV and eye candy. There is also one (at least!) editing screw up of note: when you get your one and only overhead shot of the entire deserted island, the picture is taken from a mountain on a nearby island (or more likely the mainland). You can see branches at the bottom of the screen! Oops.
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7/10
Back to the future
27 January 2001
I hadn't seen ND40 since it first opened, but I always remembered it as my favorite football movie. Since my friends are sick of me comparing every football movie to it, I decided to make sure I was still right after 20 years. The movie holds up remarkably over the years. Sure, lots has changed--making the movie a humorous period statement. The bad hair, the bad polyester clothes, and cigarettes everywhere. The coach actually has to tell the team to put out their cigarettes five minutes before the big game!

On substance, the movie is still right on the mark. The addiction to pain killers, the crippling effect of the game, and the effect the game has on the players personal lives all ring true today. Although we try to unsuccessfully bury some of those problems today, they sneak out anyway in Bret Favre's pain killers or OJ Simpson's arthritis.

One problem: if Nolte really is the best receiver on the team with the best hands in the league, why isn't he playing? I can hypothesize reasons, but the writer/director could have made the reasons more obvious.

9 stars out of 10
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Backlash (1986)
4/10
It almost worked
6 December 2000
Showtime has been showing a lot of 1980s Australian movies recently (who knows why), and this wasn't one of the best (check out Flirting instead). It has that slow, character-focused pace that you come to expect from Australian films. The characters are intriguing, and I was interested to learn how things turn out. The plot builds well, but the movie tended to keep you waiting too long. The surprise ending took some time for me to understand if I ever understood it.
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Mean Streak (1999 TV Movie)
1/10
Distractions trump melodrama
29 November 2000
I have trouble understanding how people can like this movie. The anti-racism message isn't bad, but what the movie lacks in subtlety it makes up for in cliché-yet another troubled cop with a drinking problem who works alone because he can't play nicely with others. Luckily, the ridiculous situations that occur throughout the movie distract you from the sledgehammer moral delivery and overdone characters.

--The movie is about baseball, but baseball action is laughable. The guy who is attempting to brake the hitting streak record swings like a t-ball player. Poorly fitting uniforms only reinforce this little league feel.

--Although "every cop in NYC" is at the stadium, none are around when you need them. There is a major shoot out on the baseball field during a game, but only one cop responds-ever. Later, the cop leaves the dead suspect all alone under the bleachers to check on his girlfriend.

--The lead federal law enforcement agent leaves the scene of the crime just before the crucial showdown also to check on the cop's girlfriend. That would have sounded great at the Waco hearings.

That said, if taken as a parody, the movie could be entertaining bad TV.
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Kiss the Sky (1998)
7/10
Men are Icky
7 July 2000
That's all my wife could say while she was watching this movie. And I recommend that men not identify too much with these guys if the want to stay in their SO's good graces. I had to promise that I would not... several times during this movie.

Kiss the Sky has not received a lot of attention and the critics panned it. Nonetheless, it holds your attention, and it actually inspired a "deep" conversation afterwards. And I'm not a deep guy. This is bad TV at its best.
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Strange Justice (1999 TV Movie)
5/10
You make the call
4 July 2000
This confirmation hearing changed things for good. It seems far fetched today because it is. Thomas would not be confirmed today.

I liked the movie, but it only pretends to be objective. I also liked the way they spliced in real scenes from the hearings. There should have been more. I'd also have liked the actors to use more of the real dialog from the hearings. In this instance, the reality was better than the fiction.
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6/10
Nice campaign
23 June 2000
I never knew running for governor was so leisurely. Plenty of time for extra curricular activities...

The movie was interesting but confusing. I like a little mystery in my movies, but it was tough to keep all the balding white guys with multiple names straight -- especially in the flashbacks.

However, CNN correspondent Christiane Amanpour (Irène Jacob) never looked so good.
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