Change Your Image
mattymath
Reviews
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
It'll do.
I went to this with great expectations and for the most part I wasn't let down, but as I think about the next day there are some flaws here, that's for sure, and I can't get them off of my mind.
The opening scene was pretty random with Kirk having stolen something for some reason. It was an excuse to take Kirk's command away and give it back to him in twenty minutes or so. All of that was too rushed. I also wonder if they can ever make another Star Trek without the Enterprise being reduced to scaffolding by the end of the movie. The darn thing used to not be able to go in the atmosphere, too. I hate the new look of beaming people. T.V.'s simple special effects were better for this one thing.
First, the 3D filming was flat out bad during close ups. The scene of Kirk and Pike in the bar had every shot with huge, gray, fuzzy blobs taking up 1/3 of the screen. I didn't like the look of the 3D at all. If often distracted me from the movie.
Star Trek, even as a reboot, does not need as much action as it has, in can forgo a little for some story telling. In the original series Kirk always would outwit the villain , not beat his brains out and this change just makes him seem awfully stupid in comparison with the Kirk in the original time line. Spock hopping around with Kahn on flying cars is also way to over the top.
The scene with Kirk dying and Spock outside the "radiation chamber" that mirror images the original scene from "Wrath of Kahn" was too much. I was crying, literally, but only because I was remembering the original. The reboot has not done enough character development yet for me to believe that Kirk and Spock are best friends on a deep spiritual level as in the original when we had three years worth of television to base it on (and some great initial character development in the movie).
The way they were going to bring Kirk back to life was too easy and obvious. My kids were saying, "tribble juice!"
All in all this went for too many explosions and fist fights and not enough character development and story telling. I wasn't going to try to weigh this against "Wrath of Kahn," but frankly they made me (especially by having the Leonard Nimoy cameo). I decided I was a bad father for taking my kids to this without having them see the original Botany Bay episode and the "Wrath of Kahn" movie.
I did enjoy the romp, but it really didn't feel much like Star Trek to me. More like a Vin Diesel movie. I suppose that this is what the world wants from the series in this day and age, but I always felt like Roddenberry's vision of the future as a place where violence was a last resort was a good one.
One last thing, where the hell were the Klingons? I can't believe they just let these humans come in and kill a bunch of them and then a space battle with two wounded ships and they didn't do something.
One last, last thing. How do they get from Chronos to Earth in seconds. Even at warp speeds that should take a long damn time. That's why it's a FIVE YEAR mission and it takes Voyager so long to get home.
Six photon torpedoes out of ten.
Twilight (2008)
Wow! Was this slow and boring!
I bought this book on a whim this summer for my daughter and for my wife. They loved it. My daughter says it's the best book she ever read. So, being pleased that I actually purchased something for the ladies that they liked I decided I'd keep being a hero and surprise them with tickets to this on the opening weekend. '
I'm not their hero anymore.
I got to the theater early as we all wanted to sit together and we were expecting crowds (not as big as we thought), but my son (age 9) and I got seats while my wife and daughter (age 11) got popcorn. I was a little uncomfortable as we sat in the theater before the movie started with the noisiest bunch of women this side of a Beatles' concert.
I was excited, but I was also realistic. This didn't need to be "Casablanca" to make me happy. Just give me a 7 star flick.
At some point I started hoping their would be a scene with enough light in it for me to check my watch. At another point my son whispered to me, "Dad, this is a HORRIBLE movie." I never knew the fellow to not like anything (other than church).
First of all the two glaringly bad things. The make-up made "The Munsters" look subtle. The special effects looked like they were done by a middle school video club.
The plot was very slow and their was no conflict for the first 90 minutes. We got Bella sitting around talking to this unrealistically nice friends (One boy didn't realize he was gay, but maybe that comes up in a later book). Her worst problem seems to be that she has two great parents and every boy in the town wants to take her to the prom. We do have a 4-second action scene. Bella discovers almost nothing for herself. She does go to the book store and check out a book, but then hardly uses it and instead goes on the Internet and finds out that Edward is a vampire.
Still, after that he just tells her everything about being an umpire (uhhhh, no that's a different scene)...vampire. The Vampires, I understand, are supposed to be incredibly good looking, but they're not up to speed in those regards (except for about four of them).
There is an incredibly stupid baseball scene where they actually wear baseball uniforms which just comes across as absurd (and why, if they want to protect Bella so much, would they take her out during a thunderstorm?).
After waiting forever for some conflict to happen, it finally does, and is over in about 5 minutes.
It also seemed that Edward was attracted to Bella because he wanted to eat her worse than other humans. Huh? I mean I really wanted to eat my candy in the theater but I wasn't really attracted to it in that way.
The ending of the movie seemed to just be tacked on.
I was fascinated by the other Vampires (both good and bad), but learned nothing about them, except that one of the "good" vampires was grumpy about Edward dating Bella. I was also fascinated with the "Native Americans," but we only got a couple of none-to-subtle hints about what they were.
The thing is, I felt like this movie made the mistake of telling me what was happening instead of showing me what was happening. No matter how good a book is, a movie has to be a movie, and this was mostly just a lot of talking.
My daughter was depressed the rest of the day as she had been so excited to see this. My wife said, she could have taken it being slow, but that the make-up ruined it for her. My son was just ready for some buffalo wings and refused to talk about the movie at all.
Still, the scenery was beautiful when they got in the woods, and this only increased my appetite for a thru-hike of the Pacific Crest Trail.
All in all, I'll take almost any episode of "Buffy, The Vampire Slayer" over this.
Courage Under Fire (1996)
By the book blandness
The concept here was pretty good. The craftsmanship of making the movie was excellent, but somehow this movie fell a little flat for me. First of all, Meg Ryan is about as believable playing a tough army commander as Goldie Hawn would be. Denzel plays his part by the book, but I never really ended up liking him very much. I was rooting for the soldiers to outfox him.
The movie seemed to hate the military, which is okay if you make a strong movie around it, but this one seemed to just miss the mark, I could see it being an 8 with a little better casting and maybe a little bit less of filming the battle scene from eleventy seven different people's perspective.
If you're really into the military/courtroom/private eye type dramas then you'll like this okay, but you'll also know you've seen better. 5 or 6 out of ten.
The Neverending Story (1984)
A split decision
I love this movie....but somehow it falls just a tad short of the greatest movies in this genre.
The message is great, the characters invented are cool. It's pretty deep for a child's movie. I cry when the childlike princess is begging Bastian to call out her name.
I think Tami Stronach may have been the most beautiful child to ever be put on the screen (or else Brooke Shields, but Tami could actually act). I can't believe she never was in another movie.
I saw this in the video store and remembered liking it pretty well years ago and thought it would keep my 4 and 6 year old children occupied on a 5 hour drive to visit their great grandmother. It did. They loved it and my daughter hasn't quit singing the theme song since she saw it. I got home and sat down and watched it again.
The acting of the two boys is a little weak and the special effects are a little too "Land of the Lost" even for the time it was made. The whole thing has a cartoonish feel, but I love it. The idea of the nothing really creeps me out.
It's not Wizard of Oz or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or ET, but it's a delight. As a child I would make it a 9 out of 10. As more critical adults we might make it more like a 7 out of 10. But again, bonus points for Tami, I only wish I could have been the one to rescue her.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
An intriquing disaster
When I watch this film I can feel it failing in so many different ways. Edward's not funny, he's not particularly sad. He's like a three year old and watching a three year old fail in love is not only appropriate, it is necessary. There is no way this guy could get Winona (and who doesn't love her in that red wig--oh my). I don't know what we're supposed to be feeling, who we're supposed to identify with, or whether it is a happy or sad ending.
Still, while I know they failed to obtain what they wanted in this movie, the cinematography is grand. The characters are eye candy. It's one that you can't stop watching, but for all the wrong reasons. I'll give it a 6.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Best Movie Ever?
Just so you know where I'm coming from, I'm not one of those people who has read the Lord of the Rings 85 times. I don't think I ever finished the trilogy when I attempted to read it in high schoo. I didn't give fellowship 10 stars (only 9), but this movie is far superior to any other movie in so many ways. Cinematography, acting. For three hours I thought I was in middle earth. This is probably the best I've seen ever. Great piece of movie making.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
A great tour of an old castle
Somehow I felt like I was being shown this castle by a real estate agent. The story was a little light, but man was it beautifully filmed. The three kids in the lead roles are marvelous actors and I was excited just to get to see them light up the screen. Charisma! Still, I just felt that the movie was lacking something. I needed a deeper story to hold the scenes together (most of the scenes individually were great, but they just didn't get). It seemed like Harry never really figured anything out, he just had the answers given to him.
I give the movie an 8, but eagerly await the next installment which was probably my favorite of the books.
How long will part 4 be? 6 hours?
Clockstoppers (2002)
Definitely made by Nickelodean
I won't even delve into the scientific errors, we'll simply accept that a watch could be invented that does what the watch in the movie does. That would be cool. No, not the way they use it. We don't get to see the kids try to use the watch to help anybody, they just use it to play practical jokes. Right away, I don't like the kids. Now there is of course some bad guys around. For some reason the bad guys drop out of hyperspeed, there is no reason to. Just stay in fast mode until you catch them.
The dialog, plot, etc. are all standard Nickelodean fair. 4 stars. That's it. I'm being generous.
The Ring (2002)
A horror movie that delivers
I love horror movies. Unfortunately, they almost always seem to fall apart and never make it to the end as well as they start out. This one is an exception. The symbolism, forshadowing, sense of mystery and doom never let up. The movie is excellently casted, directed and acted. This horror movie has few equals in the genre. A must see.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
It is a great movie after all.
I must admit that I am a fan of Star Wars. While I don't consider myself a freak about the series (I managed to wait three weeks before catching "Attack of the Clones.") I do consider Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back as the greatest movies ever made.
I read most of the reviews and was going into the movie expecting a lame love story (and it was) and a great action scene at the end (and it was). I was not prepared for the rest of it and I'm really not sure how I would rate this movie outside of the Star Wars universe. I guess as a movie in it's own right, if you knew nothing about Star Wars it wouldn't hold up very well, but it's not meant to be seen that way. It is meant to be seen as the fifth installment of a series of movies with a grand scope. In that case the movie worked.
It never bored me, I was hanging on every word. There was plenty of action throughout and lots of good references to what was going to happen in later (earlier?) movies. I found myself moved several times, but the emotions were when I was considering the sweep of all the movies.
I left very satisfied. While the movie didn't leave me as excited as Star Wars did or as transfixed as Empire did, I was very happy with it as it just seemed to fit the arc of the whole series perfectly.
I think my review comes accross a little more lukewarm than I intend it. I really do think the movie deserves a 10 out of 10 as I'm sure I'll want to see it several more times in my life.
The Sandlot (1993)
2 different movies
This movies starts out great about a kid's memories of childhood centering around a pickup baseball team of which he was a part.
Unfortunately, it descends into a rather stupid movie about boys trying to get a baseball from Cujo.
The first movie is working great, I'm laughing, having a great time...and then they switch to the second movie.
No more laughs, no more fond rememberences of childhood, just stupidity.
I gave it a 7/10 however because the first half of the movie is wonderful.
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978)
A Day in the Life Wasted
Oh man, can music get any worse than this? My sister bought the Soundtrack to this movie when it came out and I being a rabid music fan gave it a spin. I had to change the needle on my record player due to the contamination. Earth, wind and Fire's "Got to Get You Into My Life" was the only passable performance on the whole thing. Even Aerosmith's much acclaimed "Come Together" is weak as it is just a rehash of the Beatles version so there was no point to it. It has been pointed out on Rolling Stone magazine's message boards that the Beatles have a reputation in some arenas as great song writers but mediocre musicians, but that if you listen to how bad most remakes of their music is it is obvious that there was also some magic in Beatle performances.
The movie itself is just pure badness. Take a bunch of bad songs and then put them on film with truly bad skits. I can't tell you on how many levels this movie fails. No one in this film seems to be able to act, especially the musicians (but also the actors). Then they give people who can't sing a shot at some of the songs. The cinematography is hokey. The plot is non-existent. It is bad bad bad. The amazing thing is that it is this bad and still manages to be boring. Most movies this bad are like train wrecks, you just have to watch the carnage, not this one.
Beegees and Peter Frampton fans had to go into the closet after this movie and that is the movie's only redeeming value, I never had to hear anyone try to compare the Beegees to the Beatles again.
The Night Train to Kathmandu (1988)
An enjoyable TV movie
The story is lame, the acting is hokie, but it all works to be a fully enjoyable tv movie. Milla is so charming in this without being sensual or sexy. I give it a 7. A movie that is more than the sum of its parts.
Hannibal (2001)
How sick are we?
I am ashamed of myself for watching this movie. While I thought that Silence of the Lambs was one of the greatest movies I've ever seen, this movie is just a sick slasher film. The start of the movie is pointless as we see Clarice shoot some drug dealer. The only reason this scene is in the film is to establish a "bad guy" for Lechter abuse at the end of the film. There are no deep psychological things going on here, Lechter get's under Clarice's skin by referring to her parents as mommy and daddy? The Oldman character was interesting, but in the end just kind of teetered out and was nothing more than an excuse to show off some make-up skills.
While a few people in the audience laughed at Lechter's self-referencing humor (see Freddy in later Nightmare on Elmstreet Films), there was hardly in humor in it. I was never surprised by any plot turns, just by the methods Hannibal used in the end to express his depravity.
When I realized what was happening in the final scene of the movie, I should have left. Is our world so sick that someone could even think up something like that? Is our world so depraved that we are now paying money to see someone do something like that? Are we so jaded that - i won't give away what the end scene is - is a joke? I had to shower when I got home. I am humiliated that I am a pathetic enough person to have watched the end of that. How does this movie not get a NC-17. My wife and I considered watching some porno just to get the final scene out of our head. I beg God's forgiveness to anyone who watched or in any participated in this sickness.
Jodie Foster is my new hero.