Reviews

I very much enjoyed this movie even though I don't know why. It didn't really have a story, and that can be thing that really makes me hate a movie, but in the case of this movie, my interest was held all the way through.

The story might be about a 25 year old Jewish woman who falls in love with a 15 year old boy in 1973. But it could just be about a 25 year old woman who is trying to find a way out of her household and she latches on to this 15 year old boy who made a pass at her? I don't know.

From there the movie delves into a series of misadventures involving the 15-year-old's business ventures, including starting a waterbed company.

Probably, I should be disgusted by this movie, but it was pretty good.

A week later and I still don't really know what to think about this film. Except that I did enjoy it. Maybe a few snips here and there would have helped with the pacing.

I was ready to sit down to a slower-paced character driven movie and that is, more or less , what was delivered.

The film goes on for about an hour with two main characters. Then, suddenly, a bunch more characters are added, including a young married couple in which the husband is a closeted gay man. Then we learn the wife, who starts chasing after the cousin of the lead protagonist lost her father to drowning. And her father had some other tragic ailment too. Then an RAF pilot in training tragically crashes in the river that goes right by the property and the cousin takes his gilly weed and dives in but the pilot is dead. And as the ancient artifact is dug up, the lead protagonist named Edith tragically comes down with a fatal case of acid reflux.

Then they all get together for a party at the penultimate end.

Then WWII breaks out at the final end.

Great performances with a script that plays loose with the facts. As if facts matter in current year. And yet, that was the whole point of Ralph Feinnes digging stuff up, so people could know their past and where they came from.

If you like slow-paced character driven stories and don't mind being lied to, this movie may be for you.

This movie is pretty bad, but not as bad as La La Land, apparently, based on the fact I made it through this one.

The plot involves unlikable sibling characters taking the remains of their abusive mother from Iowa to Texas to feed to a whale.

Why?! Why?! Oh! God! Why?!

The best part of the movie is the lone out take during the closing credits. Just like Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes, this end credit scene should have been the start of an entirely different movie.

I watched this movie last night on Netflix. I had remembered reading an article about Bjorn Lomborg in one of the Popular Something magazines so I figured this would be something more than the propaganda of Birth of a Nation, Triumph of the Will, and Algore's I'm Super Cereal! So I decided to give it a twirl.

I don't necessarily agree with Lomborg across the board but it was so refreshing to see a movie about solutions instead of the usual misanthropic Neo-Christianity and doom and gloom of the eco-wacktovist movement.

And just like Europe was at the point of deforestation when coal suddenly showed up, it is important to look for rational alternatives, or better yet, additions to oil, coal, natural gas, and nuclear, instead of constantly carping on how we are "addicted to oil" which is probably the dumbest slogan the misanthropic eco-wacktovists have adopted yet. One might as well say we are addicted to healthy, happy lives.

This episode seemed to draw a lot from Clockwork Orange only instead of forcing the viewer to identify with a disgusting psychotic like Alex we get a sweet lost soul like Elton who loves ELO and is otherwise existing on the fringe of society.

This episode starts with a visual sight gag taken straight from Scooby Doo but of course, we take this with a grain of salt since it's Elton doing the telling and he's stumbled onto a scene that defies description so like the rest of us, he uses pop culture references to describe his reality.

Elton joins a Doctor Who fan club that sort of just turns into a club of people sharing their interests, baking, ELO, novel writing, etc. Then the serpent enters the Garden by way of Victor Kennedy, an elitist Comic Book Guy-type character who sucks all the fun out of the hobby group by taking the hobby seriously.

Soon after, club members go missing but the group does feel it's on the verge of finding the actual Doctor so they allow their seduction by this mysterious Victor Kennedy to continue. The closer they get, the more members go missing and we see the folly of trying to meet the Doctor. Of trying to make a beloved fictional character real instead of just enjoying our lives and our proper mates and jamming to ELO or whatever. Falling in love.

And that brings me to the only weak spot of the episode. When love is lost, one must let it go. It seems that the, of all people, would know this and wouldn't go and give an imitation life to Ursala. But oh well, it's only a story, and a very engaging one for the most part.

A young women survives one death cult's mass suicide only to awaken from a coma 13 years later in the clutches of an even bigger death cult, modern psychiatry. The death cult she escaped sought Unity via self-immolation while the death cult of psychiatry seeks to cause her to self destruct through the miracle of modern pharmaceuticals.

I didn't like this movie when I first saw it because the add campaign portrayed the Richard Lynch character as the next Freddy Kruger or Michael Myers but this is not really the case. This is really quite a smart psychological thriller with some gore and dark humor thrown in. Anyone who enjoys these elements will probably find something to like in this film.

Hi. This whole review is a giant SPOILER and you should read it before you waste ninety minutes of your life on this beautifully photographed yet tedious piece of story telling.

A bunch of Canadian whalers, at sea far too long without a hockey game to sate their blood-lust, land on Australia and kill all the Aborigines with sharpened hockey sticks and thus tainting the Dreamtime, which is the time of heroes, as you well know.

Skip ahead 400 years and an Australian archaeologist opens up a tomb that had sealed the demon spirits of the hockey players of the damned. Their spirits escape out and take over the body of the archaeologist, though he probably doesn't know it. And he becomes obsessed with trying to find the Hockey Stick of Thor.

Then other artifacts in the demon tomb are placed in a museum where decedents of the slaughtered Aborigines come to steal them. Or steals them back, as the political case may be. Then a very pretty girl who never speaks but cries very well sprays a fire hydrant at the museum's rent-a-cops, thus releasing the wrath of the tainted Dreamtime upon herself.

She is then taken to the hospital where a very pretty blonde doctor works on her. Then there's a few good bits that are worth seeing so skip ahead to the funeral of the blonde doctor's mother where we discover that she is the daughter of the Canadian hockey playing whaler possessed archaeologist.

The doctor has a few more hallucinations so she follows her da to the Island of the Dead, which is really more boring then it sounds. She finds her da chopping wood, because, I guess the actor didn't smoke and they needed him to be engaged in some activity when the doctor finds him. Then she delivers the best line in the whole movie:

I don't know. Its...lots of peculiar things have been going on and I don't understand them I've been seeing things and I haven't been seeing things and I've been seeing things and I...drawings and pictures and I don't understand and I'm scared and I don't know what to do because I don't understand what's going on.

And da tries to comfort her before he goes off and discovers the hockey stick of Thor, or whatever god or gods Canadian hockey playing whalers worship(ed). Then da really becomes possessed, just like in Thor comic books, and he kill everyone on the Island of the Dead in the most boring and tedious way imaginable. Except for his daughter, who he tries to rape.

There. Now you can watch a different awful movie. Or put in South Park again. You know you want to.