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The Monster (2016)
Wow A24...
Someone in a rubber godzilla costume wreaks havoc on a white trash mom and her daughter. A tow truck guy guy and an ambulance show up to add to the obligatory body count, but help isn't needed because aquanet and girl power were there all along! Oh and Lifetime movies intermittently added some tear-jerking flashbacks between the daughter and her trailer trash mom. Soooo...like it's super deep and stuff.
This is a sparse, low budget, dark (literally) movie that got enough of the A24 cult on its side to avoid seriously bad reviews. But make no mistake, it's pretty lousy. At best it's entirely forgettable.
Hellraiser (2022)
Welcome To Pleasuredome
If you're a big Hellraiser fan, as I am, you've seen em all and have suffered after the first two. There are aspects of others (pt3 for instance) that gave you hope but there's been so much disappointment over the years. Keeping all that in mind, this one should definitely reinvigorate your interest! There's plenty to quibble over, no doubt, but this is a step in the right direction. It's atmospheric with a succinct plot, interesting settings and an unrelenting creepiness. Doug Bradley will always be Pinhead to me, and while the new Priest did not command as much screen presence, the cenobytes were awesome. In short, def see this if you're into the original Hellraiser. And I'd also assume this'll create a new breed of fans. Hopefully.
Malignant (2021)
Where is my mind?
If you're like me, you were about to turn this off halfway through. If you stuck with it, as I begrudgingly did, you were treated to some truly bizarre sequences! Was it worth it? Ummm...I guess. But man, it just gets weird. Silly, actually. I wish the filmmakers went full-on Dead Alive or maybe left it in the hands of someone like Sam Raimi who would've embraced the campiness. Then we all could've had a good chuckle with our splatter-fest. Instead this movie feels unintentionally hilarious, which in and of itself is kinda funny...Nevertheless, you'll be laughing by the end! But holy crap is it bad!
The Flight Attendant (2020)
The Flighty Alcoholic
A psychologically damaged woman accidentally finds herself embroiled in a dark mystery and drunkenly stumbles down one rabbit hole after another. Every episode she has at least a dozen drinks, at least one to two panic attacks, at least a few psychotic episodes and usually ends up in someone's bed, all the while seemingly surprised that her sanity is unraveling.
The main character is despicable and, while she occasionally shows a genuine side, it's hard to empathize. This show is kinda trashy and shallow and it revels in its sensationalism. The production hides some of these elements a bit, but ultimately it can't hide the sitcom-esque aspects. The plot devices become heavy- handed and way overused which greatly interferes with whatever comedic elements are left, especially considering there's plenty of manufactured drama among the equally shallow characters which leaves behind a disingenuous feel.
If it sounds like I dislike this show it's because I probably should. But I love these kind of plots. It's also well shot and lit with a nice style to it. The mystery is intriguing enough to overcome the often poor dialogue and repetitive absurdities. On a scale of Lebowski to Chinatown, this show should've gone Lebowski with a dash of Body Double but decided to embrace too many sitcom elements.
If you can suspend your disbelief and look past some of it's shortcomings, you might enjoy this show.
PS - This review is for season 1. I won't be watching the 2nd season, which should say something...
Delivery Man (2013)
Nick Hornby's lost novel
There's much to like about this movie. Vince Vaughn is so likeable, the overall concept is interesting and the Chris Pratt character provides some truly hilarious moments. However, after the courtroom scene the movie derails into a standard and predictable ending that's so trite and overlong that I found myself wishing it would just end already! Honestly, I would've preferred it if the main character just kept clandestinely visiting his biological kids. That was the most interesting aspect of the film, imo. Anyway, I liked it overall but that generic ending left a bit of a bad taste. Still recommend based off of the good performances and an intriguing premise.
The Quiet (2005)
Wow, what a nice surprise!
I have a habit of not reading too much about a film before watching, so I had very little idea about this one. Admittedly, it was quite a bit different than I'd anticipated! Not sure about the low ratings - wouldn't be surprised if people were thrown off by the subject matter. I thought it was beautifully shot and unique. American Beauty would be the obvious comparison, but it was less ornate and more raw while still maintaining a distinct mood and delivering top-notch performances.
The Fly II (1989)
Son of The Fly
As a huge fan of the Cronenberg film, I held off watching this mainly due to poor reviews. Well I've finally seen the sequel and, with admittedly low expectations, I really liked it. The practical effects alone are worth a watch, but it actually had a unique story. Production values are better than expected and overall I can only nitpick. It's a well done mid budget b-movie, but I never expected it to be even half decent. In short, I have some minor complaints but was pleasantly surprised!
Banshee (2013)
Rrrroadhouse!
Evan Longoria gets outta prison, goes to PA and immediately pretends to be sheriff (don't worry about the details). Then he goes on a rampage, beating the bloody snot outta folks and porking the local Amish hottie. Oh, and that's just the first couple eps. Boss Hogg and Mr T never show up, but there's plenty of boobs and blood to make up for it.
The Wilds (2020)
Degrassi Island
There's a reasonably interesting plot buried under hours of moping teens spewing out the obligatory rhetoric. Any tragedy brought about through their circumstances is constantly overshadowed by their own perceived victimhood. This all leads to social justice monitoring where any one of them may be deemed unfit to live for saying or doing the wrong thing.
In short, this is an exhausting mess to witness and a waste of a decent idea.
Outer Range (2022)
Please renew this!
This is more of an engaging drama with a good amount of mystery/scifi and less about sensationalism and fx. But the story is good, characters are interesting and production values are top notch - music, acting, cinematography, etc. Plus I loved the setting - Wyoming is beautiful! On another note, this show is quirkier than it initially seems. Some (like me) will love it, others will hate it. In many ways, it reminded me of the series, Fargo (not so much the movie). It also moves at a leisurely pace that, to me, fit the setting and tone. This is definitely not for everyone (I imagine younger people will have little patience for it), but for the people that get into it and stick with it, it'll be rewarding and you'll definitely be hoping for season 2!
After reading some reviews I'd like to add that I personally didn't find it too slow or dark (as in literally). Maybe it's my setup? Either way, I hope this show finds it's audience because it seems more divisive than I would've thought.
Tell Me Your Secrets (2021)
Psychopathic Bouillabaisse
I found this to be pretty captivating and was on board through most of it - as long as my suspension of disbelief would allow. Unfortunately the show may have added one too many layers and twists to be believable (probably setting up another season). The central plot was already quite a bit to unpack! I think the main issue is that this doesn't look or feel like an overly sensationalized show at first. It feels closer to Ozark but ends up more like You. In the end I guess it becomes somewhat of an amalgamation of the two.
Nevertheless, the acting is great, the cinematography is stellar and the unique settings were refreshing. So overall, I still enjoyed it and I think this show got more right than wrong. Oh, and I'd definitely watch season 2 (if there is one).
Summer of 84 (2018)
More nerdy teens on bikes
It was, as expected, an amalgamation of 80s cliches and Stranger Things. More importantly, it never built upon the narrative. If the story stalled, which it often did, so did the movie. Nevertheless, it's a fairly enjoyable ride. If you actually grew up in the 80s (as I did), you'll notice a few things that didn't quite gel. It didn't ruin it for me, but I also knew from the start that the production values were not on the level of Stranger Things and certainly not on the level of Goonies or ET, etc. Lastly, the premise could've been amped up a bit - maybe a twist of some sort. As it stands, the plot is trite and lacking imagination.
The Beach House (2019)
Don't believe everything that you breathe
The first act is almost painfully uncomfortable. I'll assume the filmmakers wanted to create a claustrophobic, uneasy environment but it made me dislike the characters and the setting. It often felt glum and detached even as we got slow drips of mysterious plot points. Once things got moving it became engaging, horrifying and wonderfully atmospheric. Overall, the feeling of imminent doom while slowly being overtaken is accomplished.
It's a shame I can't give this a higher rating because it got so much right. Although the female lead grew more bearable by the end, I just didn't feel overly connected to the characters for much of the film and that's never a good way to draw an audience in. The atmosphere and special effects saved it in the end.
Satanic Panic (2019)
Modern Society
There's a certain breed of cinephiles that'll absolutely love this. I'm of that breed, but it's most definitely not for everyone. If you read the synapses and said "awesome!", there's a good chance you'll enjoy it. But man, is it stupid. It's also fun, gory, inventive and ridiculous. And the lead actress is absolutely adorable!
Digging to China (1997)
Pure innocence and beauty
I haven't seen an earnest film like this in some time. It's rare that I'm captivated and emotionally moved for the full length of a movie anymore, but this one got me. The performances were outstanding (can't imagine anyone but Evan Rachel Wood in the lead) and the overall look and feel of the film captured a certain time and youthful innocence. Thoroughly enjoyed this one and would very much recommend to those looking for something wholesome and moving.
Practical Magic (1998)
Late 90s Lilith Fair soundtrack
There's an enchanting element to this film that's hard to pinpoint. The production details are phenomenal, so that plays a huge part in it, but there's more... it has that thing that most modern movies have lost. You could it's say magic, but what does that really encompass? However you feel about this movie, it has a look, a feel, a style to it that doesn't exist anymore. And I miss that.
Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me (1992)
La la love you...
Feeling nostalgic for an over the top 90s trailer trash romcom? You can do better, but why not dumpster dive! Plus, the soundtrack is actually pretty killer.
Don Jon (2013)
Badda boing
Put off watching this because I was over the whole Jersey/Italian stereotype long ago. Unfortunately, the aforementioned stereotype is abundant. Fortunately, it's an engaging film with a good message. I found the Julianne Moore character to be refreshing and wish we could've had a bit more development or at least a less clumsy way to introduce her. A more convincing way of revealing her and Jon's burgeoning relationship would've been even better. Regardless, the movie overcomes most of its shortcomings and I would recommend 👍
Bongwater (1998)
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
This is about as aimless as a movie gets - perhaps more accurately described as a series of slacker vignettes. Such a waste of a good cast, too! Jack Black was great, however (his song was probably the highlight for me). Nevertheless, this is pretty accurate as a 90s time capsule. So there's that...
1BR (2019)
For the greater good...trust me
This is not a typical 5 and a half star movie. Many won't get it, but it's about as poignant as a film gets these days. While the overall look and style of the movie is nothing to write home about, thematically it's stellar.
Can't say too much more as I'll likely irk some of the indoctrinated, but those that get it will dig it.
Annabelle: Creation (2017)
Flat
Can't get enough of that flat, icy gray digital, monochrome style? Look no further. They're cranking these suckers out these days. You've seen this story before and it's decent, but man is it flat. Little to no depth.
Single White Female (1992)
How fonda Bridget are you?
Interesting footage at around 1hr, 20 mins in... weird-o-rama...
Right in all our faces. Wow. What a strange world we all live in. Maybe they've never hidden it and it's just out in the open.... bloody f'n he'll......
Villains (2019)
Duck
Duck and drive, dude. You can make it 20 ft without looking.