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baz111
Reviews
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
Why?
The entire point of this film was to shock, but the way it shocks is more by giving you the image with no point and no reasoning. Of course the film never sounded like it was ever going to be remembered for its script but this is beyond bad.
We're first introduced to the two American girls, who pretty as they may be seem to lack any form of intelligence or general common sense. They are driving to a night club (as you do) when they take a wrong turn and end up getting a puncture. Now this is where things get bad. So the girls are stranded failing to know how to operate a jack and attach a spare wheel the girls decide to look for help. Cue a three minute pointless piece of film making where a randy German man gives his thoughts about the girls in German. Laughable honestly. So the man drives off and the girls decide the best thing to do is to go and look for help.. By walking through the woods and coming across a house in the middle of nowhere with a man that answers the door with the most evil face in the world who's first question is are you alone? Welcoming.
See the film goes on with its rather pointless set ups like these which just make you think who would do that? I mean there is one moment in the film that really grabbed my attention, the girls are tied to the patient beds and the doctor goes out to bury the truck driver in the garden. He then goes out and gets the Japanese man from somewhere. The doctor then tells them all his dastardly plan then goes off. Later he comes back to start the procedure by injecting them to put them to sleep. Now only at this moment does the one girl decide she can undo the one wrist with her teeth and get out. I understand you have to make the film but bloody hell thats just ridiculous, I mean he'd buried a man and found a new man before the girls even tried to escape? They could have boarded a flight back to the US or even tried to find that night club if they'd have just stopped crying for however long they had been.
So we come to the birth of the centipede and things go from bad to worse I'm afraid. See the purpose of this film is just to make you feel sick. There are no scares, no moments of suspense and really there is just no point. Worst film ever!
Predators (2010)
Go see the original
Like the film I'm just gonna jump right into the thick of it. Basicially there are a group of murders or killers who are all taken onto an alien planet and are there to be hunted by the... PREDATORS! And that is basically all summed up in the first 5 minutes. No back story no build up no secret missions they all just fall to the ground and decide to find out where they are. What lays ahead is about an an hour and a halves worth of bad acting, no scares, about a million references to Predator 1 and in general one bad film.
See what makes this a bad sequel is that it isn't exactly a sequel. What it is is a kind of remake but the only main difference is everybody is on a different planet and they don't know each other. The film makers don't really give any of the characters a back story, the girl with the sniper rifle has nothing said really about her past other than she works for an army, the tough guy character is basically the same as Arnold's character Dutch who is a mercenary or something and a bunch of others who really play no part in the plot and have only one thing in common that they are all killers. You can't help but feel that the writers just watched the original and thought to themselves lets make a film exactly like that only set it somewhere else with a few twists.
Go see the original don't waste your time with this god awful "sequel"