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4/10
Just another neo-fascist butt-kicking super hero in a grinning, rosy-cheeked Guy Fawkes mask. Yawn.
18 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The Wachowskis have proved once again that the first Matrix was a fluke. Not only is this movie more long-winded than the "philosophy"-heavy Matrix sequels, but there is almost no action to wake us back up after being lulled into a coma by the neverending (not to mention predictable) backstory.

There is not a single second of originality in the entire film. This may be the original graphic novel's fault, but in that case they shouldn't have chosen to make a movie based on a dumbed-down comic book version of 1984. Note: I have not read the original graphic novel, so I don't know if this was just a bad adaptation or what. Thanks to this film I never will. But I have read 1984. Shadowy "Big Brother" figure? Check. Censorship of art as subversive material? Check. State-planted news stories? Check. It's all the same things Equillibrium ripped off a few years ago, except the people who made that dreck had the good sense to put in some decent mindless action scenes to complement the mindless political philosophy.

Speaking of political philosophizing, it does make up the serious bulk of V4V's story, and has generated the most publicity for the movie. Some of it is pseudo-related to today's world--I saw the words Avian Flu on a news broadcast in the background at one point, but it doesn't seem to have affect G.B--but never at any point is it interesting. Some critics see V as a terrorist, which would make the entire film a celebration of terrorism. Others call him a freedom fighter, doing battle against an evil totalitarian regime. However, the truth is that he's a little of both. While the film assures us that the dictator is evil (I mean, he looks like Hitler!), V certainly seems capable of influencing the people without resorting to the violent theatrics that make up the film's climax. For all their evil, these fascists are terrible at keeping control of their state. In the first hour V takes over the nation's central television station with no problem, and not only can the government not stop him, they cannot even manage to cut the transmission before V delivers his long, meandering message of liberation to the people. He is able to ship thousands of rosy-cheeked Guy Falkes masks just like his all over the country, despite the fact that X-raying packages is the norm. These evil masterminds don't even control the distribution of mail? In fact, V's sworn enemies are so inept that one almost feels sorry for them. But we can't because, remember, they look like Nazis.

And are we expected to believe that a dictatorship that comes to power in England will model itself so obviously after the fascist regimes of last century? How stupid do they think we (the audience as well as the British people) are? The dictatorship of the future will look just like a democracy, except the outcome of every election will be determined not by the number of votes, but by the interests of the wealthy elite. Art will not need to be banned, because people will stop paying attention to real art in favor of mindless entertainment. Like this movie.

As a last note, how are people not insulted by the condescending intellectualism of this script? Not only do the Wachowskis (through the character V) toss Shakespeare quotes at the audience every few minutes, but they go through the trouble of identifying the quotes as if to say "Betcha didn't know that!" Shakespeare is great, but speaking in Bard quotes is for snobs.

C-
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Sin City (2005)
5/10
As mindless as it is violent
2 April 2005
Sin City is the definition of style over substance. Yes, Rodriguez's direction does make the film look like a comic book (sorry, graphic novel). Wow, neat.

There is nothing else of any interest in this film. The three stories are Schwarzenegger fare. The "characters" are two-dimensional thugs. The women are all helpless damsels in distress--even the gun-toting prostitutes of Old Town, who do little to help themselves while Clive Owen pretty much single-handedly saves the day. He does have help from Miho, a Japanese woman who of course wields an arsenal of ninja and samurai weapons instead of guns, as well as possessing seemingly supernatural powers. That's just one example of how the film relies on shorthand to tell us everything we need to know about the characters so that it can fit in more killing.

It pains me to see so many comparisons to film noir. This film has more to do with the ultra-violent comic books of the 50s that prompted the Comics Code Authority to censor them, nearly wiping out the medium altogether. My question is, if Rodriguez wanted to make a throwback to those books, why not make a film that shows that violence can serve a purpose in such a story, and should not be censored, rather than something based on how totally sweet it is to see people get shot?
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5/10
"24 hours ago you had 24 hours. Now you have only 12 hours left!"
25 November 2001
Here's a good way to tell if a movie is bad: The main character's name is wrong on the case. Not just spelled wrong, but completely made up. It's like the person responsible for writing the summary on the box didn't even watch it. I can't blame them.

The first part of this "movie" took place in a top-secret government research facility. However, the "filmmakers" shot these scenes in what appears to be a local high school, with chemistry classrooms serving as high-tech laboratories. Also, the characters seem to have no purpose. Maybe the director ran out of actors while casting or something. They just change who they are with no explanation or purpose and confusing hilarity ensues. Sometimes you just want to die. Watching this movie was one of those times. The case says "This is one Search you won't want to Destroy." Trust me, you will want to destroy this particular search.

I could go on and on about how bad the movie was, but what's the point in that? I'm sure there are much worse (check the Bottom 100 list for those). If you like really bad movies, you might want to give it a look. But don't say I didn't warn you.
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9/10
A dude gets involved in a kidnapping mystery when he is mistaken for a like-named millionaire.
5 February 2001
If you're not one to be offended by a lot of swearing, you can't afford to miss this movie. I've never laughed so much, or found so much quotable material in one picture as I did in The Big Lebowski. If you haven't seen it, do. If you have seen it, let's go bowling.
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