Reviews

3* out of 10* (for two of the traps only)

Wow, this film was abominably bad. Totally deconstructing its own mistery by making Kramer and Amanda humanized villains. Which did NOT work at all. It just made the whole thing even less scary. Them being present during the whole proceedings and interacting with the victims also really took away from the tension, the mistery. I did not root for the two for one second. Are we supposed to forget about all the hideous things they did during the past 9 films? The trend of making heros out of villaings is getting on my nerves (like in the laughable Don't Breathe 2). And while Bell is an ok actor, Amanda really lacks in this department. There was also no real dynamic between teacher and disciple or any evolution.

To begin with: How would such a criminal mastermind like Kramer fall for the very obvious cancer scam and hand over 250k without doing extensive research beforehand?!?!? Non-sensical.

And then Pederson of all people getting away. While she would deserve the most horrific torture of them all. And the people who played the smallest parts in the scam (Gabriella and the nurse) get the most excruciating deaths even though they all manage to actually beat their traps in time. Still get annihilated. How are you supposed to saw off your own leg without passing out within 3 minutes?? How are you supposed to open up your own skull and scoop out your own brain without passing out?? Within 3 minutes?!?!?!?

I know these films are not grounded in reality. But Kramer's plan was relying on SO SO MANY coincidences, it was absolutely ridiculous. Like Pederson's lover showing up. Him grabbing the gun but not shooting it. Them putting Kramer in the trap. The boy showing up to play football IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. What was the original plan with the blood trap, put Pederson inside by herself? Also, anyone sane in that trap would just close their mouth and turn their head to the side. Why torture the little boy, I thought Kramer is a sympathetic hero now? Pederson and her lover running back to the room before Kramer is dead and grabbing the money. But not leaving the room throught the door which was still open. And so on and so on...

The final scene was so very anti-climatic, them fighting over a spot in the hole in the wall and her stabbing the guy. That's all you have for the two most evil people in the film?

I only watched the first two Saw films and then never bothered to come back. I watched X because everybody said how great it is. This just shows it is really time to saw off the whole franchise once and for all. Thank you.

1* out of 10* This was an assault on the intellect of anyone who has more than three braincells. And I am not talking about all the blood and gore. I am talking about what might be a contender for the film with the least common sense or logic in the history of horror. At the same time, it has basically no plot, no screenplay, no tension or character arcs, no emotional pay-off or anyone to root for. It does have gore, blood, blades, gore, scissors, blood, sharp objects, misogyny, gallons of blood, scissors, gore, blood porn and then some. Which it seemingly mistakes for tension and horror, sadly unaware that this is the opposite of horror if you fail to invest your viewers in your story or characters in the slightest.

It starts with an unbelievably ridiculous shot of a (bad!) CGI baby in the womb, which it keeps showing throughout the film at the most inconvenient times. Then it goes on to make us believe that two cars crashing into each other at full speed would not bump off each other but come to rest with their noses touching. Somehow she not only survives but does not miscarry the child she is 5 months pregnant with. Strangely, the police are going to tell her that there are no survivors from the other car.

The filmmakers do their best in the opening 15 minutes to establish Sarah as an unsympathetic character who treats everybody around her condescendingly and who would seriously spend the night before giving birth alone at her secluded home on Christmas Eve!

There is a little tension to be felt when La femme first shows up and Sarah calls the cops. After they assure her - without any clue as to why - that the lady won't come back, they leave. Any reasonable person about to give birth would leave the house at this point. When suddenly, La femme is in the bedroom without any explanation, I felt the movie taking a downturn. If she is such a stealth ninja, why did she ring the bell in the first place or try to smash the glass door? She was just a normal civilian up to this point. Why does she behave and scream like a complete nut job? How is she able to kill 5 (partly heavily armed) grown men twice her size and weight using household objects? How is she such an unstoppable killing machine, not succumbing to any of the severe injuries? When it comes to breaking down a measly bathroom door or fighting Sarah, however, she is suddenly a normal female.

Sarah is reduced to a whining wimp, locking herself in the bathroom for most of the runtime. Behaving INCREDIBLY stupid. Never calling for help when there are other people in the house. Never trying to leave the house. Never fighting back. Except for when it is time to stab her own mother through the neck. She stabs a hole in the door using a shard of glass without using any of the bazillion towels from the bathroom for protection. The bloodloss alone from this should kill her. On top, she gets her face sliced open. Gets stabbed. Punched. Kicked. Stabbed. Cut. Beaten over the belly with a metal pipe. Hit over the head with a metal toaster. NONE OF THIS has any lasting effect on her, let alone leads to her losing the baby.

By the way! La femme's goal is to retrieve the baby - alive. I will not even get into the idea that she COULD HAVE JUST WAITED UNTIL THE NEXT DAY AND TAKEN THE BABY AFTER IT WAS BORN! Why does she endanger the unborn in any way imaginable throughout the film. At one point, she even shoots a gun at Sarah through a closed door several times!! And wait till you learn, how she delivers the baby in the end.

The editor and the mum are complete useless morons and get their comeuppance in very bloody ways. The castration scene felt particularly uncalled for and out of place.

I kept wondering throughout whether there was a magical soundproof barrier between the ground and the first floor, because nobody ever hears Sarah in the bathroom.

When the second set of cops arrive the film takes a massive nose-dive into involuntary comedy. Mystery woman disposes of the first two easily. She even manages to stab one in the eye with a knitting pin while this 120 kg guy is holding her 50 kg body to the ground. She blows the other guy's head off. The third cop outside hears the shots. He not only DOESN'T CALL FOR BACKUP but he enters the house and BRINGS the detained juvenile from the car on a leash. Yes, he forces a handcuffed civilian onto a crime scene where shots are being fired. When he finds the first dead body, he hands the delinquent a weapon! Even though the guy is crying out of his mind, begging him to let him go and telling him, he doesn't know how to use a weapon. He hands Sara a gun, too without checking if she knows how to use ist. He gets shot. The detained kid gets stabbed through the forehead with scissors. I am pretty sure it's not that easy for a woman to penetrate a human skull with regular scissors. Killing the kid felt uncalled for. Was this some kind of racist comment by the filmmakers?

Sarah then decides TO TAKE A NAP in the middle of all this mayhem!! With the gun in her hand. When she wakes up from the woman licking her face she bites her lip and runs for it. Instead of shooting her in the head! And she leaves the gun. Downstairs she decides NOT TO LEAVE the house. From the plentiful choice of weapons at her disposal (knife, handgun, grenade launcher) she goes for the knitting pin.

Then the cop comes back to life as an eyeless Zombie! And he attacks Sarah - not the woman. Beating her belly with a metal tube until blood splashes onto the floor from down there. Which, of course doesn't harm the baby but gives us another CGI shot of its funny face.

Final fight, toaster over the head etc.. Very CGI burn to the face - any human being with instincts would snap back from that flame but who am I to judge... Any human being would also pass out after such burns. Sarah for inexplicable reasons performs a tracheotomy on herself and then tapes the hole shut! What for? After going McGuyver on her windpipe and the makeshift spear she Rambos up for a split second, with the fight in her eyes. This never goes anywhere. She finds the lady and immediately weakens again and DOESN'T FIGHT BACK AT ALL while lady performs a C-section with absolutely non-sterile and non-sharp scissors on her! Miraculously the baby lives and we get the closing shot of burnt and bloody lady with the baby in a rocking chair. I have the impression, the whole movie was built around this final image.

Despite all the gore, there was no tension, I didn't flinch once due to all the ludicrousness of the script and the characters' behavior. Also, the visuals were terrible! Everything extremely underlit, it was hard to see at times. The color palette with the yellow and green was horrible, the cinematography poor.

9/10

When I see or read reviews about this film, everybody only ever tries to explain the evil plan of the cult and sticks to the movie's events on a rather literal level taking the plot at face value. That's only the surface story. My theory - and surprisingly I have never found any reviewer or article talk about it - is this:

What actually happens is fairly simple: Jay is a traumatized var veteran. He has anger-management issues and violent outbursts, suffers from depression. He is unable to work, has chronic back pain and suffers from depression. He is constantly fighting with his wife who looks down on him. He is disconnected from his son who thinks his dad to be a pathetic loser. He shows signs of PTSD. Over some quarrel, he kills his wife and kid and his best friend. That's what really happens. The rest of the film is made up by Jay.

The whole movie plot with the cult and all is only the "justification" he makes up in his mind to come to terms with his horrible deeds. Some form of vision or dream. Come to think about it: In several scenes in the movie, people tell him to WAKE UP! Most of the scenes have an eerie, dream-like quality to them. For example when he sees Fiona outside the hotel waving to him and he does not even question it, even though she was just visiting his wife at home far away.

Every victim Jay kills, is grateful, thanking him. They are all portrayed as evil people who have committed hideous crimes and deserve to die. This is just Jay's way of trying to justify his actions and keep his moral code intact. Gal even asks him to put him out of his misery. His wife seems to be laughing after he stabs her in the end, looking like she is also thankful towards him. Why would she fight her own husband in a duel to the death, in particular, when her kid's life is at stake. None of this would make any sense in real life. Because it is all only happening in Jay's head!!

The cult and their manipulative masterplan are Jay's way of showing that he had no choice but to kill. That he was orchestrated by a higher force to do it. That it was all just a great conspiracy over which he had no control. He portrays himself as someone with an ethical approach who wants to finish his tasks. When it gets out of control, he tries to get out of the job but the mafia guys won't let him. Again, he has no choice and is forced by greater powers.

In actuality the cult and their plan are just a manifestation of Jay's mental illness. When he is crowned in the end, he basically succumbs to or embraces his mental illness.

2* out of 10*

Not the worst horror of the year (turn towards The Black Phone for that) but close to it. Another sad example of soulless modern day horror. It encapsulates all that is wrong with today's concept of "viral horror": Find a paper thin but creepy premise that is merely sufficient for a short film (this one is based on a short) and then stretch it out to 90 minutes (in this case even way longer, god this film tested my patience). This is then only played for creepy images and spooky jump scares which can be shown in a viral trailer to create a hype which tricks people into seeing the film.

Certain elements of this were ok, it had mostly competent direction, good camera work and visuals (even though I don't like the Instagram-brown-pastell-color-pallet these films are using). Actress in the first scene was phenomenal! Unfortunately, this can't be said for the main actress (Kevin Bacon's (!) daughter seems to not have inherited her father's incredible talent). The second awesome scene was the birthday gift unwrapping scene. However, two scenes are not enough to salvage this train wreck.

What starts out with a truly impressive opening scene (liked that one better than the short) soon turns into the most frustrating jump scare fest serving us every horror cliché out there. By the end I was just rooting for the protagonist to get it over with and botch herself already.

I know why our protagonist is working double shifts in a run-down hospital instead of earning loads of money in a private practice: She is THE WORST psychotherapist ever and probably couldn't find a job elsewhere. She does not believe her patients and shows no genuine empathy towards them. She idly watches as her patient goes about slicing herself up with a shard of glass. She notices tons of signs that she herself might not be sane but she ignores all the red flags and lies to her boss (who is also THE WORST). After the curse of The Ring... sorry, I mean It Follows... excuse me, I mean The Smile latches itself onto her, she starts seeing JUMP SCARES, I mean things and visions and slowly loses her sanity. She is a therapist, who has visions, she should know how to handle these things, she knows she is not crazy. So what does she do whenever anything weird happens? She tries to get help (from her boss, boy-friend, sister) by babbling incoherent nonsense that must come off as absolutely insane to anybody and keeps repeating in a hysterical voice: "I am NOT CRAZY!" She's a therapist for god's sake! That's exactly the behaviour her patients must be showing all the time. She should know better. This is very bad writing and extremely frustrating for a thinking viewer.

Why do protagonists of (cheap) horror movies love to hang around their creepily sterile and severely under-lit homes without ever turning the lights on? You know the answer: jump scares! Lots of them. Accompanied by loud musical cues and bangs (booh!). This is always a sign that the filmmakers don't really have anything to say and are not able to grip their viewers by way of storytelling or psychological horror. This film had SO MANY jump scares.

The boyfriend is THE WORST. He shows no empathy or understanding, abandoning his girlfriend basically at the first sign of problems and unease. He barely reacts when he comes home to police sirens. In the last act he literally disappears and does not even try to contact let alone even find Rose after she takes off completely dishevelled.

Her sister is THE WORST. After being at least co-responsible for Rose's trauma, leaving her alone with their suicidal and alcoholic mother, does she learn from her mistakes? No. She shows no empathy or understanding, abandoning her sister (again!) basically at the first sign of problems and unease. Completely shuts her out when she needs her the most.

The ex-boyfriend cop is THE WORST. Showing Rose confidential evidence abusing his access rights to get information, because he wants to get back in her pants. This would definitely get any cop fired. He is single-handedly responsible for Rose's death. He knows how the curse works. He knows that the entity needs to have the victims kill themselves in front of a witness. Still, he breaks down the door to enter the house and to watch Rose drench herself in gasoline!!!!! He could have just stayed outside the house. This was so mind-numbingly dumb and frustrating.

Did I mention the jump scares yet?

Ultimately, the film doesn't have anything to say. It stirs up all kinds of themes around guilt, family, generational trauma, mental illness. However, these are just used as an occasion for a scare fest but never brought together in a convincing fashion. There is no resolution to this, no message. Rose doesn't overcome any of her struggles. In the final act we are led to believe she defends her trauma (the ridiculous granny monster). However, this is also just a fake-out as she ultimately does end up killing herself. I am a sucker for bleak endings, if they are done right and either serve a purpose or fit the tone of the movie. In the case of Smile, the ending is just bleak for the sake of being shocking, which is cynical. Well, I guess it kind of fits the tone of the movie after all: They wanted to end it with what they love most, a cheap jump scare.

2* out of 10* (for some creative and brutal kills)

Remember the girl from the first movie who stole the Blind Man's money and wanted to escape with her little sister from an abusive household to start over in California and then found out that Blind Man had survived and would probably come after her? Well, forget about all that, because the filmmakers abandon that promising story line completely for the sequel.

Remember the Blind Man who kidnapped the woman who killed his daughter involuntarily in an accident. And then kept her chained to a wall in his basement. And raped and inseminated her with a turkey baster for her to bare his surrogate child. And then tried to repeat that process on the first film's main teenage girl after he brutally killed her two teenage friends? Well, HE IS THE HERO OF THIS SEQUEL NOW. You better root for him.

To make him even more sympathetic, he snatched a helpless girl from the street after she escaped a house fire and is now raising her as his own daughter. Never mind his heinous past crimes, he is now a trustworthy human. Not only does he truly care for this new girl. He also really loves his dog and is very sad when it is killed. Plus, he refuses to kill a deadly pit-bull that tries to kill him and then they become friends and unite against the pit-bull's previous owner who apparently has trained the dog all its life to become a loyal killing machine but leaves it to die in a fire. Because, that is how dogs behave.

He also gives the girl survival training which enables her to outrun a Rottweiler running at full speed and to sneak (or beam?) around like a Ninja, silently getting in and out of rooms and cupboards with very creaky doors without making a single sound and even transcending through stair rails and silently dropping down to the floor below while two thugs are closing in from both sides without noticing her. However, when it is convenient for the plot, she completely forgets about her Ninja training, makes the most stupid decisions, allows herself to get captured or randomly comes out of hiding.

The Blind Man has somehow upped his skills from the first movie as he can now sometimes act and fight like has perfect eye-sight. He can locate objects in open spaces that he didn't even know were there. He can move silently through walls and doors and even lift himself and the girl through trap doors located in 4-meter-high basement ceilings without a ladder or any other means of reaching those. When in contact with water he can employ some kind of echolot or sonar which enables him to shoot three guys standing in an open space with perfect precision or to throw a hammer and precisely hit a running man in the head. He is also not restricted to the familiar confines of his own home, where it would make sense that he can face-off and hold his own against people with eye-sight. He can now move out in the open, running around and even infiltrate unknown hotels and locate their power supply in the basement without any problems. He has also grown a shiny plot armour which allows him to keep going after he gets severely beaten with blunt objects, stabbed, cut, shot, burnt or falls through windows from extreme heights into a fire.

Due to this fantastic new skillset, he doesn't have to equip his isolated house with the most sophisticated security system (like in the unrealistic prequel) but can leave his doors and windows unprotected and sometimes even wide open to welcome ill-fated intruders.

Blind Man and Ninja Girl face off against a sinister and heavily armed gang of dishonourably discharged Iraq veterans who conveniently keep their set of Molotov cocktails in a cooler box. Which leads us stupid viewers to the assumption that they are a gang of organ traffickers that abducts people, as reported on the news earlier in the movie. Alas, we are in for a big surprise:

In reality, they are a gang of meth dealers!! And the leader is actually Ninja Girl's real father who wants to reunite his family.

It gets better though: Turns out, what he really wants is to cut out his long lost daughter's tiny children's heart while she is conscious and breathing to transplant it into her dying adult mother, who is the only capable meth cook of the gang and seemingly unable to teach her skills to anyone else. Because, see, the mother "burned her insides" in the house fire eight years ago, which she actually caused by blowing up the meth lab, because she is such a talented cook. And it is only logical that a chemically induced fire does not affect your lungs or your liver but primarily your heart!!!! This is where the story comes full circle, because NOW the creepy organ trafficker comes in as he is set to perform the operation in a completely non-sterile environment and without any by-pass machine or basically any professional tools. And without anaesthetizing or even restraining the girl in any form. Because this is how heart surgery really works.

As simply abducting the girl and getting the transplant over with would be boring, the evil guys come up with an intricate plan. That not only involves electrocuting the girl, whose heart they so desperately need, and endangering her life in countless other ways. But also to play family with the girl for a brief moment, reuniting her with her grieving mother and making her believe that she is finally home again. This way, the girl (who is their own daughter!!!!) will suffer even more and will spend the last moments of her life truly terrorized and disappointed in humanity.

This is very clever writing, because it makes it so much easier for us to side with the kidnapping, murdering, child-abducting, dog-loving, blind rapist!!!

Luckily, in the end Blind Man kills everyone and goes The-Mountain-on-Oberyn-Martell on the main villain. And then he regrets his past wrong-doings and acknowledges that he is a monster and tries to die, leaving the girl all alone in the world even though it was his number one priority to protect her. NOW THAT IS A CHARACTER ARC!!!!

What you just read is the actual script for this film. Which got reviewed, green-lit and financed by countless creative and executive people and then made into a high-budgeted movie!!!

I have only outlined the basic stories without even getting into all the inconsistencies and plot holes:

The panic box that can easily be filled with water through an opening in the top, pushed over by a single man and then opened from the outside (!!!!!!) no problem.

Blind Man taking the time to glue the thug's mouth and nose shut instead of simply breaking his neck. His brother piercing a hole through the guy's check instead of through the glue.

The girl remembering the lyrics to her mother's song but conveniently completely forgetting how she grew up or who her parents were or basically anything that happened before Blind Man abducted her. But then again, why did he tell her, where her burnt down house was and what her mother's name was, wouldn't that enable her to do some research??

Main villain trying to shoot Blind Man in front of his daughter but telling his thugs who try to do the same mere seconds later: "NOT in front of my daughter! Take him outside."

Main villain acting all spooky and sketchy for the first half and never telling the girl who he is.

Thugs simply setting the house on fire without making sure Blind Man is dead, even though their dog is still barking, indicating that he is still alive. The whole house burning down without anyone alarming the police or fire department, as dilapidated as the neighbourhood may be.

Doggo finding its "home" leading Blind Man across the city in a matter of 30 minutes.

The mind-bogglingly inconsistent use of Blind Man's heightened sense of hearing and echol-oting which sometimes allow him to locate things and people no problem and sometimes have him overpowered from behind without sensing anything.

Three cans of insect repellent that fill up a giant room with smoke in a matter of seconds without affecting anyone's breathing or their eyes.

Ninja Girl not simply stopping the wheelchair with a brake or pulling her mother out of it. And then trying to chop her mom's arm off to prevent a fall that clearly anyone could survive. Only to fail and fall down anyway - and easily survive the fall.

This film is truly one of the worst examples of today's Hollywood's horror-sequel-cash-grab-mentality and the fact that it stands at a rating of 6,0 makes me sick to my stomach.

4* out of 10*

First off: I mildly enjoyed watching this film and I was not bored. I am a sucker for cat-and-mouse-movies set in the wilderness. This one has an intriguing setting, some good scenery, mostly competent direction and acting and some good suspense. However, after it completely falls apart in the second half, I started to question the film - which became a very very frustrating exercise. Here is why:

The film is almost a complete carbon copy of Wind River: Remote setting in the wilderness in a Native American reserve: Check.

Lonesome hunter, who retreated from the world after losing his child: Check.

Estranged ex-wife with a new man: Check.

Female sheriff, who needs to prove herself: Check.

Dead girl in the wild: Check.

Vigilante justice: Check.

Only the wintery setting and the emotional depth of that fantastic film were missing. It's a miracle, the film-makers haven't been sued yet. Well, I can forgive derivative film-making as long as it is good.

Unfortunately, this film lacks any logic or coherent story-telling, which completely ruined the viewing experience. Here are most of its flaws:

Why did NCW stop hunting after his daughter disappeared but he never stopped drinking, which was the reason he lost her in the first place? Don't know.

Why was he already heavily drinking before his daughter disappeared? Don't know, never gets explored.

Where was the killer during the last 5 years since NCW's daughter disappeared? The town doesn't' seem to have a serial killer problem. Don't know.

Why can he drive, shoot, fight and basically do everything perfectly fine, when he is supposed to be wasted all the time? Don't know.

How do you survive an arrow to the heart, stitch yourself up and are able to get right back on the hunt and then carry a woman through the woods for several hours straight? Don't know.

Why did he have to carry her at all? She seemed to be able to walk before. Don't know.

Why does he NEVER try to get help or inform the police when he sees girls being hunted in the forest and especially not after he directly encounters the killer? Don't know.

Why is he sometimes a skilled stalker and hunter and sometimes behaves like a complete moron who has never set foot in the woods or held a gun? Using a shotgun in the woods or entering the killer's house without any caution and making noise. Don't' know.

Annabelle Wallis with her plastic-surgery-botox-L. A.-face is completely miscast as a backwater-town-sheriff.

NCW not only gets shot by an arrow to the heart. He also gets severely beaten AND shot in the guts but just keeps on going. This guy is invincible.

Sheriff steps in a freaking bear-trap. Instead of having her leg amputated and/or spending several weeks in a hospital she is back on her feet walking half an hour later!!!

Why do people pursuing someone always shout their names giving them the opportunity to run away (local native cop with the brother)? Don't know.

What happened to the brother in the barn as a kid? Could have made for an interesting motivation for his and the sheriff's actions... Don't know, never gets explored.

Wallis shoots NCW to protect who she thinks is her brother (WHY would she do that??!?). Why does she not get suspended, let alone investigated after NCW tells the police what she did?!?!!? She gets to keep her gun and to lead the investigation. Alone this flaw was enough to sink the whole film. Let alone, them reconciling and teaming up to get the killer afterwards. Well, I guess it was necessary that she owed him one, so she had to let him go after he got his unlawful vigilante revenge.

Now for the finale and the reveal of the killer:

The doctor of all people. It is just a cheap plot device and lazy writing, if you reveal someone as the killer who was never on the suspect list and to whom we have NO emotional connection. Completely no pay-off for the viewer.

All the victims' vocal chords had been perfectly surgically removed. Why did they never investigate surgeons or medical professionals? Don't know.

Why were the scars apparently old and all perfectly healed, when he killed the girls? Don't know.

Why did he even silence the girls? Don't know, absolutely no connection to the killer's daughter's death.

So his teenage daughter was killed by a drunk driver. Did this make him hunt drunkards? No. Why hunt teenage girls? Don't know. Would have made much more sense if he hunted NCW - who happens to be a drunk.

Why did the killer save NCW's life when he knew he was on his trail? Don't know.

How did the doctor become such a skilled hunter? Don't know.

Why on earth did he use an atlatl? Don't know. Guess, it's a cool weapon.

What was that ridiculous grass suit? Don't know. Must be almost impossible to move or see in that thing. Looks scary, I guess.

Why did the neighbour lend his car to the doctor when it is shown that he obviously has his own truck? Don't know. Yeah, I do know. It's called a red herring.

8* out of 10*

This movie had no big budget, no special effects, not much of a plot and almost no gore. Still, it is a truly unnerving viewing experience that chills me to the bones. Having recently rewatched it for the first time in at least fifteen years since I first saw it, I appreciate it even more. It surely helps that I have seen hundreds of horror films in the meantime and can now better understand what TCM did so well and why until this day it is a blueprint for movie makers trying to create unease and tension.

What Tobe Hooper excelled at with TCM is creating an eerie atmosphere of dread. The film permeates unease with almost every frame. Even in the peaceful scenes you can feel that something is looming and that terrible things are going to happen. The film has this gritty and unrelenting atmosphere that so many modern horror films lack. It starts with visuals of unearthed corpses, accompanied by audio reports about freak incidents like grave robbers, random attacks and collapsing buildings. This turns into the blood red opening credits that feature not music but strange and unnerving sounds. Right from the get-go you feel unsafe with the notion that something harrowing might happen anywhere at any time. The grainy look of the film and the almost documentary style add to the rawness of the experience. Especially when they enter the house, you don't have the feeling of being in a set-piece. Everything looks and feels so real, like the film crew just found it this way and decided to pull out their camera and start shooting. All the animals (dead and alive), bones, remains and feathers look creepily authentic. The visual style is pretty impressive too, with creative camera angles impressive colors.

The immediate rawness is also applied to the terror scenes. One of the all-time scariest and most shocking scenes of all time for me is the first encounter with Leatherface. The guy walks into the house and we know something bad is waiting for him, we just don't know what it is. There is no big buildup, no music or sound effects. Leatherface just appears out of nowhere grunting like a pig; he almost seems as surprised as we are. In what appears almost as an instinct-driven affect, he strikes the guy with his hammer. The dude falls to the ground and starts twitching. Leatherface pulls him in and slams the sliding door shut with a bang. It's over almost as quickly as it started. I was and still am terrified by that scene. Other timeless classics include the first encounter with the hitch-hiker, the infamous dinner scene and Leatherface dancing with his chainsaw in the warm sunlight in the final scene. There is also the other girl falling into the room and slowly but suddenly realizing that these are not only animal skeletons but also human remains. The close-up of Sally's eyes during the dinner scene and her constant screaming. Much has been said and written about all of this. And most of it is true.

Where the film lacks a bit is in the dialogue and character department. Most of the characters are very shallow. While we do get a bit on Sally and here rather annoying brother Franklin the three other victims have no personality at all. We never get a sense of who they are and why we should care about them. This is, however, just a minor criticism. This film is not a character study. Somehow, it is not even a classic narrative. It is, in my opinion, a study in fear and tension. And that's where it absolutely excels.

4* out of 10*

A group of 4 bike-riding, rather unlikeable and off-puttingly horny and over-sexed teenage friends try to get through summer. There is the edgy emo-punk, the funny fat kid, the corny nerd and the super bland nice guy, who is our main character. They spend their time referencing and name-dropping 80s gimmicks, toys, music and movies - that is only if they are not rambling about sex, girls, wanking, making love to each other's mums and how horny they are, albeit it is clear that none of them has ever even touched a girl. When one of them suspects the police neighbor to be the serial killer responsible for the late disappearances of tons of teenage boys, they start investigating. Although they soon start gathering some evidence, no one seems to believe them. The suspect just seems too perfect of a nice guy, plus he is a cop. Parents are nowhere to be found and if they are, they are either a means of making the kids feel miserable (fighting, drinking, divorce) or they behave like complete morons who don't believe their own kids and put them in danger. There is also a completely implausible romance as we are supposed to believe that the ultra hot baby-sitter, who is 4 years older, falls for our 13-year-old main guy who hasn't even gone through puberty. As things start to tighten up, we are left in the dark about who is the killer. All the evidence gets rendered worthless, exonerating the main suspect and making it seemingly impossible for him to be the monster they suspect. Or might there be more to their suspicions than they hoped for?

Feel like you have seen all of this before but done much better? Well, then that might just be true. Think Rear Window, Disturbia, Fright Night etc.

This film seems to be lacking soul and authenticity. The characters are not really likable which might be due to the fact that most of the acting is weak to mediocre. The story is paper-thin and literally adds NOTHING new to the genre. You know from the start that it's the guy and there are no surprises. It would breathe some fresh air into films like this, if for once it turns out that it really was all in their heads. However, this would take some balls and clever writing - both of which this film lacks.

All the 80s stuff just feels tacked-on and never really comes to life making it feel just like the gimmick it is.

Biggest weakness is the bad guy who is never menacing. We don't get enough of him to get a grip on his character or be truly scared of him. The actor is not good and imo miscast.

Opposed to many reviewers here, I thought one of the cool parts was that he lets Davey live in the end. He will now live in perpetual fear of the guy coming for him and forever think about how he got himself into that situation. That's actually pretty scary. However, letting the guy get away left me feeling unfulfilled. And is just too obvious that this is only a set-up for sequel.

Plus, it does not fit the overall tone of the movie. I don't mind that the film turns darker in the end. Actually, I was waiting for most of the run-time for something gritty too happen as this was marketed as a horror flick. Unfortunately, it is only a veeeerryv mild teenage mystery thriller with little to no suspense. Which would be fine, if it didn't upend itself in the last 15 minutes and try to be a nihilistic, bleak horror with some sudden shock-value. This never worked for me, because it felt so out of tone and place. Slitting the fat guy's throat was truly unearned and felt super unnecessary.

I also had problems with some of the many plot-holes many people have mentioned. The boys are convinced that their neighbor is a sick serial killer. Still, they go about it like playing a game never acknowledging the danger they might be in. When everybody finally discovers the truth, our boy is just send to bed without any police protection. While the killer who put a target on his back is still at large. How on earth would Mackey be able to drug the two boys and carry them out to his car. While the parents are in the house and the police are next door turning the crime scene upside down. And with the big duded weighing at least 150 kg?!?!?

Overall this film was rather disappointing.

4* out of 10*

This film is per se well-directed, has mostly good cinematography, suspense and tension and some intense scenes. It offers some great visuals and images that linger with you. I truly respect Peele for his original film-making, weirdness and ambition. Even though, this film did not convince me, it had me thinking about it a lot. Unfortunately, Peele's ambition ultimately leads to the film's downfall: it is convoluted, unfocused and can't seem to make up its mind about what it ultimately wants to convey. There are too many storylines, subplots and hinted-at events that do not really come together.

I do get (most of) the messages: The UFO and the reactions towards it are a symbol for people's desire to become famous and monetize everything and anything without considering the risks. It is somehow about people's obsession with art, fame, celebrities, technology, social media and the like. Also about Hollywood's and the entertainment industry's exploitation and lack of respect for animals and minorities. Most of the symbolism is done rather heavy-handed, see e.g. The TMZ guy on the motorcycle. Yeah, he is also a reference to Akira.... - so what?

However, none of these ideas are particularly new or innovative. And: where does it all go? It never ties together and fails to produce a compelling personal story. No real arc for the characters. In the end, they are no better than the TMZ guy because they chase the same goal: to get footage of the Alien and turn it into cash. That's the main story on the surface. How are we supposed to root for them if they never evolve into better persons? Overall, the movie concerns itself too much with cramming as many symbols and references into itself as possible. When what Peele should have been doing, is focussing on a consistent narrative, fleshed-out characters and a clear message. The film is so full of pop-cultural references, clever winks, easter eggs and symbolism and therefore full of itself that instead of elevating the story, it rather becomes distracting and annoying.

References to greater things (Jaws, Close Encounters, Signs, Kubrick, Westerns, Hitchcock and too many more to list) and underlying symbolism plus some suspense alone unfortunately don't make for a good film. These should not become an end in themselves but should serve a higher purpose: telling a good story. What good are all these hints and symbols if they don't tie together in an overarching narrative. Signs e.g. Also had all of these things. What makes SIGNS SO MUCH OF A BETTER FILM THAN NOPE is that it also has a clear idea about its characters, it had a cohesive narrative and the messages it wanted to bring across. As a bonus it had clever writing and a heart. And most importantly Shyamalan knew that less is more. Peele seems to follow the opposite approach: There is always room for MORE even though it has not much to do with my story or my characters.

Sadly, there is a really interesting story and probably an enticing movie inside of it all. Only, it is not the main "story" but rather the side plot about Park (Steven Yeun), the amusement park guy, and his tragic background story. Imo, the most thrilling scenes were the flashbacks to the absolutely menacing chimpanzee amok, the scene in Park's office and then his lasso-show. These were all intense and well-directed and had me on the edge of my seat. Even with the little screen time he has, Park's character is way more interested and better developed than our main protagonists. Even though I see how these events are supposed to tie into the overarching message, Peele failed to successfully wave them into the main plot. Hence there was no pay-off on this plot. Funnily, this had the effect that although I wanted to see more of this character and the ape story, whenever they came up I had the feeling that they led nowhere and only further prolonged a film that was already completely overloaded. Maybe, this is the film Peele should have actually made.

While the actors are doing a good job for the most part, the characters are all over the place. Kaluuya's OJ is fine, I guess, but he is so laconic and bare of emotions, it is hard to care for him. The sister Em is just nervewreckingly obnoxious. What's more, is that I felt zero chemistry between the siblings. There was no reason to care about the tech savvy Fry employee either. And the film dude with the painfully artificial deepthroat-voice was plain annoying (Is this the sheriff of Nottingham from Robin Hood??).

While the first 30-45 minutes do a great job of building a world, creating tension, the film suffocates on its overload in the latter two thirds. During the introduction, a lot is left in the dark - or behind the clouds - and therefore up to our imagination. I think it was after we fully see the UFO/Alien (which happens way too early and for my taste shouldn't have happened at all) that the film takes a turn for the worse. The final act is way too long and should have been cut for at least 20 minutes. Plus, it is super repetitive and uses the same scenes and set pieces over and over. When the UFO turns into a giant bed-sheet-squid I ultimately stopped caring. The film turns into a meandering cat-and-mouse-sequence that's rather underwhelming. By focussing so much on the SPECTACLE and showing us everything of it and then some, Peele makes it less effective.

The final fight is rather ant-climatic. After it's all said and done, OJ is - of course - still alive. Even though, after all we saw during the film, there would have been no chance for him to survive. Killing him off might have brought some impact to his actions and his arc - but nope.

No consistent logic or rules and many plotholes within the film. It is established that you can avoid being eaten if you don't look into the UFO's eyes (where are these eyes, btw?). Still, some who adhere to this do get eaten, others don't. If Steven Yeun had been incorporating this thing into his shows: Why weren't he and his visitors eaten in previous shows? Why would he spend 11.500 bucks for the horses instead of just feeding cows to the thing? How had word about a giant alien spacecraft not spread out after previous shows?

4* out of 10*

I seem to be one of the few having issues with this film and I am truly surprised by all the positive reactions, professional reviews and praise it gets. I would rank this #5 in the series (after the OG, P2, Predators and - yes - AvP).

What I do like is the setting, putting the Predator in pre-civil-war America and having it go against the Natives is a fun idea! The Predator design with the bone mask and some of its weapons are also well-done. Some spectacular visuals and set-pieces and good tension in various scenes.

Naru however is quite obnoxious and her only motivation is that the wants to be a hunter. The Predator didn't even attack her or her tribe, so there was really no reason to go after it. She ends up getting the whole rescue party AND her brother killed. If she is such a good tracker, why would she walk into a mud puddle / quick sand in her own front-yard? Why would she attack the bear for god's sake - WITH AN ARROW? Also, this woman is not a good actress, she only has this one slightly annoyed and defiant facial expression.

They should have had them speak Commanche with subtitles the whole way. Hearing them switch from their native language to the weirdest thick American accents was so off-putting. I mean, they had the French speak French. Would have made the film more authentic and shown more respect for the tribe's people.

The CGI (in particular the animals) is pretty awful.

Why would the Predator kill a rabbit, a wolf and a snake? It is known to NOT hunt the weaker - which is shown when it ignores Naru several times because she is no threat. This was completely AGAINST ITS CODE OF CONDUCT.

In the finale, the Predator makes an arse of itself by getting beaten in a fist-fight by a 50 kg girl and then SHOOTING ITSELF IN THE HEAD. (How did that even go down? I really did not understand. And how on earth would Naru know how the technology works and how to use it to her advantage?). Predator kills a 500 kg bear with its bare hands and presses it overhead easily but still it can't touch her in the final fight (and I don't care if it was injured before, this is supposed to be the greatest hunter in the universe! It felt truly disrespectful towards the character of the Predator). Remember Billy, the 2m-150-kg-of-muscle native American with the huuuuge knife from the orginal movie? Well, the Predator made quick work of him.... It's great to put Predator against a strong female, they just should have had her beat it more using her wits and truly out-smarting it and not by running around and slicing it in such a stupid and completely unbelievable manner.

The French are portrayed as absolutely soulless, filthy, stereotypical morons. Why would they even go after the Predator and not try to save their furs and their lives?

The absolute worst and most cringy scene: Cramming in the brother having him say "IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT!". Although the Predator HAS NOT BLED ONCE UP TO THIS POINT. Let alone that the brother would have seen it.

The more I think about this film, the more flaws I find and the less I like it.

Biggest missed opportunity: They failed to have the Predator self-destruct in the end!!

*2 out of 10 *

The poor croc almost finished its job... At least I was rooting for croccy, because everyone in this film deserved to die!!! You should stay away from this film like a group of unlikeable, unfit and unprepared people from an unexplored cave in Australian croc-land!!!

The premise:

Would like to go explore a newly discovered and completely uncharted cave that no one has ever entered before WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE WHERE YOU ARE GOING? Teaming up are 5 friends. Only one of them seems to have any background or interest in canyoning / extreme sports. One of the girls is pregnant. By the other girl's boyfriend she is secretly dating behind her friend's back. Shes has - of course - not told her actual boyfriend. Perfect group dynamics! Her actual boyfriend has just recovered from severe chemotherapy and is asmathic(!!!). And the guy supposed to guide the group discovered the cave while searching for two tourists who disappeared in the area and where never seen again - of course he is not able to connect the dots. And right about before they enter the pitch black hole in the ground leading into dark nothingness it turns out he has never before (!!) even roped into a cave. Checking the forecast before entering the cave, they see a huge storm approaching on the radar but guide-guy is like: NAH, IT'LL PASS AND WE WILL BE FINE.

WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!?!!? Even without a man-eating crocodile inhabiting the cave, these people were moribund right from the start.

The execution:

Putting this completely ludicrous set-up aside, the film is very poorly directed, the cinematography is bad, the dialogue is terrible and the acting is mediocre at best.

Crocodiles are cold-blooded and need the sun to warm up. Why would they live in a pitch-black subterranean cave where there is zero food???

Right from the pre-opening scene you could tell that this is bad film-making: Two Japanese tourists are lost in the woods. They speak Japanese, so it's clear they are no natives. As they discover that they are lost in the jungle (=extremely stressful situation) they suddenly start speaking English. And - of course - they fight and split up. Which leads to their unavoidable and well-deserved demise.

When our group of heroes arrives at a pitch-black and completely unknown huge underwater lake, what do they do? They JUMP RIGHT IN!!! This repeats throughout the movie - even after they learn that there is a hungry croc in the water. These guys use EVERY OPPORTUNITY they can find to get back in the water, like it were a dare-contest. I kid you not, this happens at least six times - but hey: no splashing and you will be fine! 2 or 3 times they do it to recover the darn car-key! If you are locked underground with a hungry pre-historic monster, should your overground transportation be your number one priority or would you rather starve to death than take another swimming lesson with a dinosaur?

I can forgive bad logic if a movie provides for some tension or creative set-pieces. However, bad comes to worse, these scenes always play out in an identical fashion: Person gets in the water caaarrefully (remember: no splashing) and wades for what feels like an eternity. Croc shows up, person panics and tries to get out, makes it in very last second - or not. This is basically the only action you get in this film. Plus, you can't see a damn thing, the water is murky, the editing is messy and you get no sense of orientation. I know it's supposed to be dark in a cave but this is a movie! I wanna see what happens.

Why does the big lamp run out of battery after like 5 minutes? Who prepares like this for a cave tour?

Why does she throw the inhaler right into the water like a 5-year-old?

When the one girl discovers that her friend is secretly sleeping with her boyfriend, does she swallow it and try to get out of the cave like any remotely smart person would do? NO - she confronts them and makes a scene. This gives you a good example of how relatable the characters in the movie are.

If you bring a gun for protection. WHY on earth would you leave it IN THE CAR? Especially as it seems to be a water-proof super-survival gun that still works after being underwater for several minutes.

After girl kills croc with said underwater-gun, do the two girls get out of the water as fast as they can, because this is croc-infested water and they have just been through hell trying to escape this water for hours? NO - they hug and cry and laugh, staying knee-deep in croc-water.

God, I hate this film and I need to stop talking about it.

2/10 - spoilers included

What a mess of a film. Let's cut out all the cancer:

• Underdeveloped characters and terrible, stale dialogue

• The film is not self-aware and tongue-in-cheek enough to get away with all the campiness

• Bad to mediocre acting across the board (the male cop is particularly bland)

• Ridiculous CGI.

• What's with the upbeat music. The score is super annoying and sounds like it's from a kid's action series.

• Where dod the designer police station with interior design bathroom come from?

• Every horror cliché in the book: Flickering lights, white noise radio electricity, jump scares and cheap scare tactics, long greasy hair rocking and creepily moving villain, huge creepy house, people going into the dark and NOT turning on the lights, people not shutting doors and windows, fog and smoke everywhere.

• All the comedic / romantic elements are super out of place

• The super human ultra fast monster is jumping down several stories at once and climbing walls but the severely injured cop stays right on its heels.

• The tumor goes all Matrix on us and kills 20+ cell inmates and a whole station full of cops with bare hands and a knife but can't beat the two main cops in a close-up fight

• The sister gets her legs crushed under a tons-heavy hospital bed but walks away unscathed

• Tonally, the film is all over the place. A mix of horror, comedy, unintentional comedy (big time), action, body horror and super hero movie. Unfortunately it gets none of it right.

• The sister goes to a huge scary abandoned psychic ward on the edge of a cliff in the middle of the friggin night in heavy rain - alone. Of course, her sister's files are in the cellar after 30 years.

• The hinted romance between the CSI woman and the male detective never goes anywhere. Neither does the romance between the sister and THE SAME detective. Both are allured to and then never picked up again.

• The killing scenes have no real suspense and are rather anti-climatic.

• Why did tumor leave the birth mother alive all this time in the attic?

• "Blood or not, you are my sister and I will always love you!" This comes out of nowhere as the bond between the sisters is never really explored and can't be felt at all.

What remains after this surgery? Well, not much. Apart from some creative shots.

James Wan, please stop making movies!!!

This one is a boring and by-the-book stinker. Uninspired story with completely bland characters that no one cares about. Worse even, the villains are completely faceless and there is no back story or motivation. All this led to me being super not interested in who lives or dies.

The kills are also very standard and uncreative and not much is shown.

***some spoilers follow***

Don't even get me started about the logic and character choices (for starters: don't go in there and don't hand over your phones!) The girl gets her foot impaled, her hands torn to shreds and shot but just walks/runs away, even though moments before she was only able to crawl along the floor. And then the ending? Why would the clown even go after her, let alone how would he know where she lives? And where did her parents go while she went all home alone and booby trapped the house? She could have just waited with the shotgun behind the door, would have been just as effective.

6/10 (only minor spoilers)

An intense film with good atmosphere and some gripping hitchcockian scenes.

Unfortunately, there are a few things that jeopardize the film and keep it from being really convincing:

There are quite a few holes in the story and some completely unrealistic scenes, like all these lucky coincidences, the narrow escapes, the 4-story-jump-fall on to a driving car (WTF?) and him suffering multiple broken bones, gunshots, beatings, falls etc. But still keeping on going.

The question I kept asking myself during the whole movie: WHY does he walk around like he crapped his pants all the time??

3/10 (minor spoilers)

Nah, this film does not work.

Way too many plotholes and stupid decisions. Could see the end coming from miles away. Sooo many stupid jump scares.

If she had planned everything perfectly for years why did she make so many stupid decisions and give the mirror so many oportunities to manipulate their minds - like she knew it would! Just stay out of its frame of influence and simply finish the damn thing.

The constant jumping between timelines is over-used but poorly handled. It gets very tedious and is just another means for more jump scares.

The actor playing the dad is just very bad.

2/10 (minor spoilers after the ***)

One of the worst films I've seen this year and definitely the worst in the franchise (even including AvP). An utter disappointment and a complete disgraceto the first two films in the series. The film completely lacks any atmosphere or urgency that made the original so great.

Bad acting, unlikeable characters, terrible writing and dialogue, messy script and editing, bad CGI. The film keeps switching between horror, action and comedy without ever nailing any of it. Don't get me started on the terrible and annoying teenage jokes they crack by the minute. Many scenes are just cut off halfway.

I am not a doctor or psychologist but I am sure that the son's autism is depicted 100 % incorrectly. You never feel, like his father even cares for him, still he is risking his own and many other peoples' lives to save him.

***

Why would the small Predator, who brings a secret weapon to earth to save humankind, still keep trying to kill our heroes?

Why would all these criminals risk their lives to save the kid or mankind?

How does the female biologist turn into a super soldier?

Why would Boyd Holbrook be welcomed in the Army again, after killing all these soldiers? Why would the even employ his autistic 10-year-old for christ's sake?