Reviews

Let me set the record straight: I loved the first potc film, the second two were blatant cash-grabs but I kinda like the second one. This one I was unsure about, but hey? How bad can it be? At least its not like the third one and three hours and with only enough plot to fill one, right?

Well, after the usual first 33% of the film being run around until we're at the point where our plot can start (seriously, pirates films need to stop doing that, just start your movie already). And we get revealed that this film isn't going to be in the Caribbean or feature anyone originally from the Caribbean (false advertising in the title), we get shown that its Blackbeard searching for the fountain of youth because apparently it can make him be able to cheat death.

He can resurrect the dead

I know that may not sound like much except....well it does actually!! Seriously why has no one else noticed such a gapingly massive plot hole of which there are billions littered throughout this film. They think they explain it with Blackbeard saying "fate has told that I will die at the hands of a one legged man" (obviously rush, seriously from the opening Jack is the Judge, this film has no tension, just irony and making the audience feel superior that they know something the characters don't) wait but how does this reading fate thing that we never see and are never explained work? And how is this any different to when you were apparently beheaded three times before but came back? And if you're so ****ing powerful you can resurrect other people than surely you can make it so you won't die? Why does Blackbeard think the fountain's magic will cheat death and his magic won't? There are a billion more plot holes I don't have word count to list here, but seriously, character motivations people, there are rules to screen writing: Make your characters make sense before you make massive areas of the plot hinge on them.

Plus: why the f*** are we supposed to care about Phillip and mermaid? He barely speaks and we don't even learn his name till the end of the film cause no one says it and I was mostly reeling from how royally their plot hole had ****ed the movie. There's no depth to the new characters in this movie because we're focused on the tired one: Jack....do people really still give a s**t about him?

God this series is so tired

You've gotta hand it to Kubrick, the man never sold out, no matter how critically acclaimed his films were and no matter how much attention the film industry has paid to him, the man always worked to achieve perfection in every shot of every minute of every film he made in his forty years or so in the business. Eyes wide shut, his last feature, is a prime example of Kubrick's masterful directorial style, though not as critically acclaimed as other films he made such as 2001, A Clockwork Orange and The Shining, Eyes Wide Shut deserves to be included among these, just showing that right up until the end, Kubrick was still making some of the greatest films ever.

Kubrick's direction is unquestionable, everything about this film is pure class, perfect shots, perfect locations, perfect story, and a perfect cast. I was sceptical about Tom Cruise at first, for reasons other than the obvious that according to the IMDb review submission is a prohibited word, but Cruise gives a great performance here, it is a shame he went on to be in such limp efforts as Valkyrie. Having the patience to work with Kubrick does make me respect Cruise more than I did, as it is common knowledge that Kubrick demanded up to 100 takes in some of his picture, explaining why he only released a catalogue of around 15 films over a forty year period. But Cruise's performance here is definitely the high point of his career, especially so in scenes where he has no dialogue, such as the orgy scene. Cruise wandering around the mansion observing depraved sexual acts while the piano instrumentals help add to the mysterious aura. As well as being the high point of Tom Cruise's career, the orgy scene I would say definitely rivals other famous moments in Kubrick's history in film, the camera moving through the house, its just encaptivating.

On top of Cruise's performance, all others cast in this film were clearly the only people you could cast in the film, perfect actors on perfect form, all roles were played magnificently, Kidman especially. I was unsure about her performance in the scene about half an hour in where Cruise and Kidman's characters were getting stoned together and arguing, but only to slight extent, throughout the film Kidman's role as Alice, the wife with sexual longings makes the plot all the more interesting, what with Cruise's character Bill's investigation into the orgy.

Another noticeable aspect of the film that adds to its impact is the score, the piano based instrumentals serves to add to the tension and the mysterious atmosphere, especially so during the orgy scene. The instrumentals make the film feel dreamlike, its almost as if the viewer is seeing it as though they were stoned. The instrumentals help to suck you into the world of the confused jealous husband, adding to the film's overall impact on the viewer.

The film was controversial at the time of release, but let me just say that if you think that sex and nudity detract from the artistic significance of a film, you're a f******g cretin. Some argue that porn is art, and the sex scenes and especially the orgy in Eyes Wide Shut proves this right. The orgy scene may be pretty daring, but that was the brilliance of Kubrick, there are no boundaries, all he cared about was making an amazing film. It really is a shame that Kubrick's gone from the world of cinema. While so many nowadays pander to the hordes of those who wish to see more limp, badly directed tripe such as the alien vs predator films or god forbid movie parodies like disaster movie and s**t like that. With people like Kubrick gone, we've got very few visionaries left. We've still got Lynch, the Coen Brothers, Cronenberg and others, but more and more people flock to features with no heart in them. While Kubrick's gone, his films remain a testament to his extraordinary directorial style. Eyes Wide shut is a prime example of the director at his best.

When I actually managed to get hold of a copy of Rob's first stand-up show after his partnership with Baddiel ended, I didn't really know what to expect. After a shaky last couple of years with Baddiel, I didn't really expect this show to be one of his finest pieces of stand-up comedy.

He's clearly on top form here, he's confident with his new material. I especially liked his "upcoming" study on gender equality "female like me", and his revenge on on the emergency services man, it's brilliantly funny stuff. He interacts with and gets on with the audience, it really is a massive change from how he was when he was with Baddiel. Compare the wembley video and dependence day, he seems a lot happier here standing on his own, he does go down the bitterness road as he says, quite a lot actually, but that's okay, because he always brings us back to the comedy road (not my analogy there, its his) I didn't know to expect one of his finest pieces of work from this after reading the review of the show on amazon.co.UK, which I'm guessing is from seeing him live somewhere else, because in this he doesn't tell the story of belmarsh prison, and all of his stand-up routine and Jarvis are appreciated by the audience to the extent they should be.

If you ever get the chance to read the book Dependence Day, I do recommended it. I got hold of a copy not long ago and only just bothered to start reading it, and let me just say, its f*****g weird. It starts off with a story about a guy being stalked by David Bowie.

Watching this now in 2008, 14 years after it was recorded, it seems strange that Rob hasn't gone on to be a bigger comedian. I mean, he and Baddiel sold out at Wembley, of course in my opinion Rob's much more talented, and really could just as easily been as recognisable today as David Baddiel is, more so even. But now he's doing what he wants to do in spite of how marketable it is, and I respect that. I mean, I do prefer his personal monologues of the early 90's to the heavy political stuff he does now (great though that is), and dependence day is a great example of that.

At 60 minutes, it ain't that long, but what you get is one of the funniest, energetic most enjoyable stand up shows I've seen in a long time.

To be totally honest I did not expect something as disturbing as what I got. Paedophillia hasn't been handled in most movies and if it has it hasn't been handled well. I think the good thing about disturbing scenes such as these ones in the butterfly effect is that the director knew when to stop instead of going too far. I don't know why this was less popular because of disturbing scenes such as the death of Evan's dog, paedophillia and the prison blow job scene. This film isn't nearly as graphic as some others out there. Anyway, away from controversiality and onto the plot. Everyone knows the time old time travel, creates problems story thats been used hundreds of times before, and you'd think by now it would get old, but the way this is handled so differently, It doesn't seem to matter that this sort of plot has been used before. Again I have no idea why Ashton Kutcher has so many haters, this is the first film I've seen him in and didn't find him in any way annoying. If anything I found the casting absolutely spot on. And to the people who say this isn't about the butterfly effect itself, well let me explain. Chaos theory states that the flapping of a butterfly's wing on one side of the world causes a typhoon on the other side. Basically saying how the smallest of events can have the biggest consequences, which is basically what this film is trying to show us.

Okay, its not Stanley Kubrick and it isn't Jack Nicholson, but I seriously think that this is a decent adaptation of one of the greatest stories ever. The Kubrick movie is by far superior obviously but its great to see the entire book brought to life in this adaptation. And though some would disagree I did find some of this genuinely creepy. It started out too slow for my liking, and having the occasional door or window close by itself is a bit of a cheesy way of building suspense, but when you reach part two we're repaid for the tedious waiting they've made us go through in part one. The woman in 217 was handled in a slightly less disgusting way that Kubrick did it in the original but lack of nudity and the fact the woman's face was only on screen for about thirty seconds is great, its creepier to leave more to the imagination. Not that I'm flaming Kubrick's way of handling the scene, its just this is what we can see without it mentally traumatising us for life. The living topiary were handled really well in this, I think if they had tried the full on moving effect it would have looked a bit too cheesy. The Kubrick version shows the best example of how you can be scared by gross things happening. This version shows how your imagination can be just as terrifying. As for casting, of course following in the footsteps of Jack Nicholson is near enough impossible. And sometimes its hard to believe that Steven Webber is actually going insane, but I admire him for attempting to go up against Jack Nicholson in playing Mr Torrance. Rebbecca de Mornay was a great choice for Wendy even though her acting style isn't exactly the same as Shelly Duvall, she plays the loving caring mother very well, and unlike Steven Webber we can always tell how scared she really is. I'm not going to say anything about the Courtland Mead except he was probably the most annoying child actor ever. Overall, its not as good as the Kubrick version but I say it comes pretty damn close.