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matthewjsandoval
Reviews
Disenchantment (2018)
Disenchanted
I binge watched this show over a few days in January 2024.
The premise of this show is thin and vague. Unfortunately, this leads to story arcs and plot points that are poorly developed or haphazardly implemented. Those threads that aren't poorly explored are outright abandoned, leaving the viewer to wonder what is important and why should you care.
Despite being on for 5 seasons, it plays out like a daytime soap that's been on for decades. Characters continually die, then resurrect or are presumed dead then make surprising returns. Many of them develop shticks that make the show poorly suited for binge watching. Seeing a character do a shtick once a week is a lot more bearable than a dozen times per binge session.
All in all, it makes for mildly amusing entertainment, but I can't say I recommend it.
The Creator (2023)
It's a movie, just not a good one
One star for the gorgeous Gemma Chan
One star for the good acting by the child
One star for the visual effects
Time lurches at varying paces, making the pacing super wonky and obviously contrived.
There is no world building, so the special effects end up ringing hollow.
The plot has so many holes, it seems like it went straight from pitch meeting to screen with no development in between. I've seen B horror films with more plausible plot developments.
I was going to watch the movie, no matter what, because Gemma Chan is in it. If you can also find a single element to grab on to, give it a watch. Just don't expect to be fulfilled.
Vigil (2021)
Great buildup, screwy resolution
The first few episodes were stellar. The mystery and tension built up quite nicely. However, near the end of the series, the episodes dealing with resolution were non-sensical. It became a B horror movie where the antagonist was always exactly where he needed to be, when he needed to be there, and there was never competent help to be had. The overall story was wrapped nicely in the finale, so you get decent closure.
Overall, the cast were attractive and talented, making it an easy watch despite its' flaws.
Final verdict: it's cute, but your enjoyment level will be heavily influenced by your knowledge of the military/navy/submarines.
Under the Banner of Heaven (2022)
A murder that goes deep
My wife loves murder programming because she one day hopes to plot the perfect way to off me. That being said, I found her sitting on the couch, watching episode two of this show. She told me it sucked, got up and left. It wasn't juicy enough for her, but I got hooked. The through lines of history, politics, and religion are right in my wheelhouse. I don't normally watch murder mysteries, but I binged this one in a single night.
I would've given it one more star if there was an epilogue that detailed what happened in the real life events the story was based on. Now, I have to read a book or something, and that's a bummer.
Last Night in Soho (2021)
Confusing web of webs
This is the longest episode of the twilight zone I've ever seen! The magic of Twilight Zone was the short run time. It left the audience to fill in the gaps with their imaginations. This movie took that concept and made it into an overly long, 1960s set piece with unbalanced story telling. The main character has no agency of her own. She is merely depicted as someone this all "happens" to. As an empty vessel that takes no action to help or hurt, it's hard to justify even having her onscreen or your eyeballs watching it.
Interceptor (2022)
Amateur porn is better scripted
Wow! I mean wow! My rule is, don't give up on a movie til you watched the first 15 minutes. That rule has served me well, until today. 15 minutes of this qualifies as a crime against humanity. With a script that must've been produced by laid off porn writers, it is just terrible to see played out. Don't believe me, set a timer, play the movie, and try it yourself.
Good luck!
Spiderhead (2022)
Miles Teller can't be tortured enough
I watched this movie for two reasons...
1) it promised a story in which Miles Teller would be tortured
2) it starred Chris Hemsworth.
It failed for two reasons...
1) Miles Teller wasn't tortured enough
2) the story was at best, enough for a neat 20 minute short film.
The shining light was the hungry prisoner. He played his role to the max!
Station Eleven (2021)
B movie, extended special edition director's cut
The premise of this movie seems to have been based on an English majors thesis paper. The core concept is laid out early on, and a story is stitched together on the basis of "nothing is ever random".
The locations are very good, and Mackenzie lights up the screen with her perennial effervescence. Still, at 8.5 hours long, your better off adding this to the bottom of your list.
Would have made a decent B movie at feature film length. As a limited series, it will test your patience.
Polar (2019)
A silly shooter with a side of gore
Thin plot, tons of ammo. Lots of people die to the preternatural skills of Mads.
The silly combat would be tolerable if not for the unnecessary gore. Also, the overly long and sometimes comical sex scenes were off-putting. I think the director had a boner for Mads, and there's nothing wrong with that. But, I think it put a bullet in this wounded bird.
2 stars for Mads, 1 for Vanessa, and 1 for the rest of the ensemble.
Tides (2021)
Sci-fi by morons
Can you fold space-time to travel through the galaxy? Yes.
Can you deploy a worldwide network of stations to tell you the weather? Also, yes.
Can you safely parachute to the planets surface, like NASA did in the 60s? No.
Can your ridiculously expensive worldwide network of monitors tell you anything amount the environment besides the weather? Ridiculously, no.
The plot starts at step 0 with utter nonsense and then staggers forward as far as the budget allows.
I don't know why this movie was made.
One star for the setting. One star for pity.
Foundation (2021)
The ultimate doomsday preppers
I never read the book.
I found the story to be compelling and the characters engaging. It's as if Interstellar was adapted into a superior TV series. There is political intrigue, ethical questions, and desperation, all twisted together.
The only negative I can think of is the timeline. There is a lot of cyrosleep and jumps in the narrative that can move the viewer around a few dozen years. Still, it's worth investing the time to figure it all out.
Finch (2021)
A really long, short story
This movie had one cute thread running through it that would have made a nice short story... 20-40 minutes tops. Instead, it elaborated on the core plot line, only to leave all those interesting bits unexplored and ultimately pointless. I could leave it or take it.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Good, but predictable
The movie is entertaining, but offers no twists or turns, no surprises or intrigue. Still, it's a good use of your time, even if the story is obvious and the characters one dimensional.
Encounter (2021)
"Rambo" meets "a perfect world"
Headline says it all... This movie was advertised as a sci-fi thriller with a twist. I think it delivered. The twist comes really early, so don't get your hopes set on cool six-fi stuff. This film stays firmly planted on the ground. That being said, I really felt engaged with Malik's character and was happy to have seen it.
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Lord of the Rings sickly sister
LotR...
a group of wizards distinguished by their colors (white, gray, brown, blue). One of the wizards wandered the world and was known as the Gray Pilgrim. He would play a major role in saving the world.
WoT...
A group of witches distinguished by their colors (eight in all).one of the witches wanders the world and will play a major role in saving it.
LotR... four unassuming hobbits from a small village are tasked with saving the world. Only one of them can complete the quest, and it is widely believed to be a fatal journey.
WoT... five unassuming young adults from a small village are tasked with saving the world. Only one of them can complete the quest, and it is widely believed to be a fatal journey.
I didn't read the books, but story wise, this strikes me as a straight up rip off of LotR. The acting is uneven, mostly due to the scripting, I think. Thanks to the quality of the set pieces, I'd rate this as a full step up from the usual SyFy channel stuff.
Love and Monsters (2020)
Homage to Fallout
I thought this movie was going to be a comedy. It was surprisingly touching. This will probably be the closest we'll ever get to a Fallout movie, and I really enjoyed it. I would love to see a New Vegas sequel :)
Ploy (2007)
Confused and confusing
The basic structure of any story is that it have a beginning, middle, and end. I've seen several "art house" movies that lack an end, and I find that infuriating. While this movie technically has an end phase, there is no conclusion, and that's almost as bad. It poses several questions through various scenarios that may be linked (or not) and that may be real (or not). This violates the basic trust that should exist between film and viewer.
In a drama, we are asked to suspend our disbelief and indulge the director's vision; in exchange, the director is supposed to tell us a story that had some personal truth in it. This movie plays out more like an action film: there is no context for some people, and no resolution for any. It's like they're all background characters that exist purely to be ignored. This is a hard pill to swallow when the cast consists of half a dozen people.
All that being said, I thought the acting was good and the women were beautiful, so I enjoyed watching the film on that basis alone.
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Better than I thought!
I wasn't sure if they were going to do the stage play justice... and I was pleasantly surprised. I thought it was beautifully rendered for the big screen.
Greenland (2020)
What happens when the government selects incompetent boobs to save from extinction?
I don't know. I stopped watching this movie halfway through when the characters' stupidity reached absurd heights. Like most horror movies, I end up hoping the idiots die, and this movie made me feel the same.
1 star: for the hot Monica Baccerin.
Shark Lake (2015)
Crappy story, atrocious graphics.
One star for Dolph being Dolph.
One star for the beautiful Sara Lane.
Shadow in the Cloud (2020)
Lactating Moretz saves the day?
Watch the last 10 minutes to get a feeling of this movie, without having to endure the entire ordeal.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Cute but uneven
I stumbled upon this movie while flipping channels. I thought it was cute, but the pacing was terribly uneven. Seemed like a waste of an all-star cast, but I was mildly entertained.
Ad Astra (2019)
WTF???
I don't know what I just watched, but I regret every minute of it. It doesn't fit any category of movie as it's equal parts disappointing, no matter the genre you evaluate it against. The wooden acting by Pitt is supposed to be representative of his character's personality, but it makes the whole movie unappealing.
Brave New World (2020)
If Huxley, GoT, and Westworld had a threeway...
I read the book years decades ago in high school. I remember the gist of it and I enjoyed seeing the key elements be hit upon throughout the series. If you're looking for a verbatim transcription, you're probably not going to like this.
Interestingly, you also might not like it if you take it simply at face value. I think the production crew were trying to setup a multi-season story arc, then found out that they were likely to get cancelled, so they shoved a whole lot in the last two episodes. That same uneven pacing you saw in Game of Thrones, rears its' ugly head again. It's a shame, but possibly a blessing since the writers seemed constantly tempted to make this into a soap opera. If it had been conceived as a 16 episode limited series, it probably would have been truly great!
Maximus: are you not entertained?!?
Me: yes, I was. Thank you!
Noelle (2019)
Cute
Anna Kendrick in cute Christmas outfits... 10 stars!
A Christmas movie that takes place in Phoenix with no mention of Billy Bob Thorton's Bad Santa... -5 stars!