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skyknightlegionnaire
Reviews
A Fall City Christmas (2018)
How's his Phone Still Working?!
Oh man what an incredible plot hole generator.
Felony Jon goes home to parents who make him feel like garbage. Gets a "job" at USPS were he meets an acquaintance from high school who makes him feel like garbage. Then he help a girl, who later... makes him feel like garbage - oh, and gives him an angry half haircut.
The guys waiting on his brother (queue the horrible anti AR 670-1 photo) who's betrays OPSEC by telling him where he is, says he'll see him for Christmas and never does. Then this guy starts to write kids back as a sort of kind gesture, pretending to be Santa and giving a response to their letters. These letters are in a bin off to the side in "dead mail". How long were they sitting there? A year? Two? Anyway, Jon takes it upon himself to do this task only to come in one day to find that the only nice guy in the whole movie had to leave for an emergency. Thus promoting the butt head *ahem*, excuse me, the girls dad to assistant post master, whereby he finds out about the Felony/jail time Jon committed. Ultimately he fires Jon, Jon then steals a letter meant for the other guy from the main female character, gets chased by the cops, reads it, and then gives it back. Then he looked into the window Christmas day to the family back together. Like...why?
But to top it all off, the main complaint: this guy is out all day, gets into a car accident, is rained on for hours, sleeps next to a bridge all night (while being rained on), and somehow ... his phone's still working. :[
Deck the Heart (2021)
Seen "The Room"? ...anyone?
If you've ever seen the masterpiece that is the envy of the modern world, The Room by Tommy Wiseau... then boy howdy this is just one itsy bitsy step up from that. No tuxedos throwing a football in a ally, but you do get the blue light special. (Lame decorations)
Take all the bad shots and acting and *boom*, reminded me of Birdemic. To put it another way, I cannot wait for Rifftrax to riff this one!
Best actor: Robert Picardo (however, I half expected him to walk up to the decorations girl and say "the I. O. A. Have been... concerned with your performance")
If you need background noise, this should be in the list somewhere, but I hope your doing dishes or laundry.