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polyphemuswinks-15669
IMDb member since November 2019
Reviews
Aftermath (2024)
I Didn't Know Hallmark Made Sci-Fi
14 March 2024 - 17 out of 23 users found this review helpful.
Okay, so there's this movie, "Inception". It's really good.
So, now there's this movie, with similar ideas but conceived as an homage to Hallmark Romances. It's not good at all.
I'd offer spoilers beyond that, but really, just watch, I don't know, literally anything else. This one won't prove to be a worthwhile investment of time or money.
Here's the anecdote form:
A woman drives. Then she wakes in a forest. And is shot. Twice.
Then she meets a man. Who gets shot. Once.
Then she runs into the people who shot her. She shoots them.
Then she "returns" to the "real" world only it's not the "real" world at all and blah blah blah, it's so formulaic and predictable you can easily fill in all the blanks.
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House (2008)
Who green-lit this crap?
12 February 2024
One star for the following very good reasons:
- Every actor needs lessons on subtlety, variation, and, well, acting.
- Not so much a "plot" as a series of plot-holes. Don't even bother asking the usual questions - How? Why? What the actual ___? - because the people who green-lit this crap were busy counting their money on their fingers.
- Zero suspense. Zero shock value. Zero scares. Zero sense.
- When in the actual world - or even in any fantasy scenario - will a determined killer, holding a gun to his greatest foe's head, hesitate and grin and grimace and breathe and grimace some more, giving the "heroes" an extra 30 seconds to conquer him?
- Pacing... Dear Film Editor (whose name I can't even be bothered to look up), maybe just maybe clip a few frames here or there, you know, to keep the film going? Not that it went anywhere, but when I'm reaching for the fast-forward button in literally every scene, that's YOUR fault.
- Not knocking anyone's beliefs or faith, but...really?
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