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Reviews
Cry Macho (2021)
Macho effort, but unrelatable.
Clint is still great at 90. This movie however, is not great. There are so many moments in this movie that we are expected to dismiss reality. Firstly, if Dwight had a kid with a Mexican woman, the kid would not look one hundred percent Mexican.
Also, you don't ask your ninety-year-old friend and ex employee to kidnap your kid that you have never bothered to be a parent of. Later in the movie we learn it is so Dwight can extort money from the extremely rich mother. The request had merit, in that Dwight was concerned for the kid's well being. He was being abused. Not sure how the he knew, but sure enough the kid was no more important to the mother than the next meaningless fling.
That is the first twenty minutes. After that it is all downhill. The comely mother who takes great offense to Clint coming to take her son away, seemingly does a 180 and says, "If you can find him, you can have him." Clint finds him and upon taking the kid back home to gather belongings, the mother tries to seduce ninety-year-old Clint. Clint refuses her advances and she threatens to have the Federales arrest him for kidnapping. She gives him 5 minutes to leave and tells her henchman to flow him.
The next thing you know the kid's rooster pops up from the back seat of the vehicle and we find the kid was stowing away on the floor. So, they head for Texas. The events that follow are just improbable as can be. The car is stolen, Clint fights the mother's thug, they steal a car, and later steal another car.
Eventually, they make it to the border and somehow the kid is reunited with his absentee father. There is a loving embrace and the credits roll. This movie reminded me a lot of a CW episode. Episode of what exactly, I don't know.
The Thin Red Line (1998)
3 hours of nonsense
This movie could not have made less sense if Iggy Pop and David Bowie had produced it. There was literally no plot. Lots of familiar faces with zero character development. Americans show up to fight the Japanese at Guadalcanal. Lots of explosions and men complaining. Every so often they show an animal in the forest or natives swimming. How this movie scores so highly is beyond me! Utterly ridiculous. Very possibly the worst American war movie ever made.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
They got it right.
I have seen this twice now. Kung Lao and Kano could not gave been more like the video game. Simply amazing. Mileena and Jax were also very good. The story line tying the feud between Scorpion and Sub Zero was told very well. I would have given this a perfect ten if not for the back and forth story progression. Reptile was much improved from previous films, except he never fought in human form and that made the fight scene feel uneven. They must make a sequel. I compare this to The Watchmen, a great film that deserved a sequel, but never got one. Getting off topic, so I will stop and just recommend this film to all MK fans. I did not give this film a high rating to offset the low scores submitted by others. This was a superb effort!
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
Not at all realistic or entertaining
I could not finish this movie. I like several of the actors, but disliked every character in this movie.
The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)
Little positive to say here..
Casting Furlong was the first mistake. He's not an action star and he's easily forgettable. Boreanaz was trying to be the same as he was in BTVS, but the script and wardrobe were just awful. Reid was probably the best thing in the movie. Although watching Trejo dance around a bird was a close second! Hopper was in this movie and I have yet to like any movie he is in. If you had never seen The Crow with Brandon Lee, then you might not get why so many despised this version. The crow movies are supposed to be over the top violent. A young couple in love get killed and a crow brings the soul of the young man back to avenge his beloved in a body that cannot die. In this movie you have to guess what's going on because when this was edited, they mangled it so badly that it makes almost no sense. The horrible fight scenes, nearly nonexistent plot, and all the long pauses make this very hard to sit thru. Chriqui is beautiful as always, but she is gone from the movie just as fast as her character is introduced. I wanted so badly to like this film, but it is so bad!
No Retreat No Surrender (1985)
Classic feel good eighties movie!
I gave it a ten because it is fantastic and so many people are giving it a one. Jason (my name too) is a karate student that moves to Seattle with his parents. Jason is your classic underdog that decides to train and never retreat, never surrender. He trains as Bruce Lee did. All he and his family wanted was to be left alone, but sometimes you just have to fight. Without spoiling the movie, you will see a young Jean Claude Van Damme as the Russian bad guy and he's great! This movie has break dancing, a catchy soundtrack, and lots of fight scenes. The choreography was some of the best I've ever seen. Did you know Jean Claude Van Damme was in a break dancing movie? Yup! Check out "Breakin' " sometime. Anyway, this review is all over the place, but lemme put it another way - this movie is like the movie Armageddon in that most chop sake movies are more like Geostorm.
Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (2020)
Lots of singing for no reason
Okay, I am not going to sugarcoat this. The cast is boring. The dialogue does not hold my attention at all. Jane Levy is beautiful and she is good projecting her emotions through her facial expressions. There is way too much gayness for any family tv show. Zoey knows how you feel because whenever you are happy, sad, in love, etc., she sees you singing a song about it. No one else can see anyone singing even though there are often times groups of people singing. Also, she cannot stop anyone from singing. Anyway, with each episode, Zoey uses her new power to interfere with virtually everyone's relationship. That's the show.
The Invisible Man (2020)
Why was this made?
From the first scene to the last, there's a sense of redundancy that moves the film slowly along. You have an awesome invention that is used merely to torment an ex-wife. You could rob a bank or check out the shower at a college dorm. Nope, gonna wear my invisibility suit to make my extra look nuts. I didn't like it. There was one cool scene where the ex is talking to her sister and the invisible man cuts the sister's throat and puts the knife in his ex's hand. She looked like she killed her sister in a crowded restaurant. Then, she does this same thing to him at the end of the movie. Hollow Man was ten times the movie that this was.
Armageddon (1998)
My fave movie
It has heroes. It has a huge asteroid. It has space travel and great music. It has Liv Tyler. The cast is amazingly. I've never watched a movie as many times as I've watched this one. You must watch it for yourself.
Hellboy (2019)
This movie didn't need to be made.
The movie is bad. My wife bought it for me and I'm guessing it was because milla jovovich was in it. I had zero interest in seeing this because I never liked the other two Hellboy movies. Well, those other two movies were awesome by comparison! This is one of the few movies that I now own that will never be watched again. I know this doesn't resemble a review, so I'll try and provide one. This movie has very little character development and relies heavily on CGI effects. I never felt entertained at any point during the movie. The villain is cute and the hero is revolting. There are a few brief fight scenes and nothing worthwhile. This movie will never see a sequel and the reviewers giving it a 10 rating are surely being paid to do so. Dragonball Z has a 2.5 rating and is more entertaining. There was once a time I looked to the IMDB ratings to determine if I'd watch a movie. Now I just try watching 20 minutes of a movie.
Bong of the Living Dead (2017)
Lousy b movie
Bad script and zero character development. I couldn't begin to tell you what a bong has to do with the title. There is not one redeeming quality about this film.
I Am Not Okay with This (2020)
Entitled teen girl hates her life
I'm only on episode two and I was thinking of switching to something else. Then it hit me, I'll see what others thought before giving up on the series. The reviews were vastly different. Either it was a 10 or a 1. It's so sad that horribly bad shows have good overall reviews. This is not the worst thing on Netflix, but it's just one more show that caters to young millennials that don't want to do anything. Having worked side by side with more millennials than I would like, I'm not looking for entertainment that mimics the sad reality of today's youth. As far as I can tell, this series has nothing going for it. Maybe it's unfair to write this review without having watched the whole season, but I'm hopeful that I can save someone from optimistically binge watching the entire show only to be disappointed. This is a perfect example of how bad writing cannot go unnoticed even with a cast that's been successful elsewhere.