Change Your Image
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjQ4MTY5NzU2M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDc5NTgwMTI@._V1_SY100_SX100_.jpg)
wolverinerage
Reviews
Super Sweet 16: The Movie (2007)
Truly Awful
I caught this on TV tonight, regrettably. I can't name a single good thing about it. So let's point out the negatives: poor direction, rubbish acting and really (i mean REALLY!) 2D characters. I wasn't impressed by that Lindsay Lohan flick Mean Girls, but that was fantastic in comparison. The story centres around the most awesome hero ev-err(!), Miss Philanthropist Blonde who's a vegan environmentalist, and who doesn't care about fashion, etc. Basically a typical delusion of the less socially successful. And everyone sees she's better than her fashion-mad rival, Miss Dumb Blonde. But when her best friend joins her school, Miss Philanthropist is appalled to see her friend (from a racial minority, of course!) is impressed by Miss Dumb. What's more she can see Miss Dumb is using her friend! O M G (as Miss Dumb would somewhat annoyingly say). The film is ridiculously lazy: everything is 100% PC, as well as regurgitated, bizarrely, from similar terrible films. But none so bad as this, and the only excuse for watching it is if you want to delude yourself. I hate these films myself but if you're considering watching this, go watch Mean Girls instead. If you have taste, avoid all films aimed at WASP teenage girls. Thank you and goodnight.
You Only Live Twice (1967)
When the kidnapping of a spaceship pushes world politics into global disruption, world peace relies on one man. Bond. James Bond......
"This is the big one" promises Bernard Lee's M to Sean Connery's 007 thirteen minutes into the fifth Bond film. Barely a quarter of an hour in, a lot had happened, including the theft of a spaceship and the murder of James Bond. Yes, really. A brief interlude in the form of the beautifully-designed, lava infested opening credits allows this event to sink in.
Then, fortunately for us his death had been faked and, just as most women at the time wanted Sean Connery as a Christmas present, the Scottish-born actor is unwrapped. Not under a festive tree, but under the sea, in a submarine, where M and his assistant Moneypenny have temporarily relocated.
Bond was back, 2 years after he thrilled audiences with Thunderball. This time, though, he was in need of no help ("You forget: I studied Oriental Languages at Cambridge!"). As soon as he had arrived into the sub ("Permission to come aboard, sir?!"), Bond was blasted off (literally: through a torpedo hatch).
Instantly the audience is transported to Tokyo, where Bond faces potential trouble immediately. Merely a few minutes later, a conversation between Bond and Charles Gray's "Mr. Henderson" (the actor would play Blofeld in later Bond films) is ended abruptly, interrupted by the first of many thrilling fights.
The film is most successful in that the business of danger and the presence of "sexyful" women are entwined perfectly. It is only in the last act of the film, when the true enemy is revealed, that the tone of Roald Dahl's screenplay changes. A classic moment: a man swivels in his chair, stroking his pet cat. A moment that retains its effect, despite being endlessly parodied (Dr Evil!!).
Without a moment's rest, an epic fight scene begins. The underwater epic battle in Thunderball was hugely successful. This one is under a volcano. And even better. So-called "Modern Ninjas" fight with brightly-dressed workers, explosions all round. This is the James Bond equivalent to the Death Star and it excites to a much greater extent.
The film concludes explosively. Altogether the film fulfils the promise of the opening credits that it would be volcanic. The perfect Bond film.