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Reviews
Hatchetman (2003)
Terrible!
This is the worst "Scream"-replica ever. Extremely bad acting, camera movement, sound, picture, directing, special effects and so on.
After 5 minutes, you've pretty much figured out who's going to survive the Hatchman's axeswinging. The only thing that will entertain people in this movie, is the boobs. The movie never goes five minutes without any form of nudity. Problem is, the girls aren't that pretty.
If you want nudity, rent a pornmovie. Chances are surprisingly big that it'll have a better story.
Avoid at all costs. I've used 7 dollars to rent this crap, so I feel that I have done my duties in this life not recommending this to anyone.
Signs (2002)
Very disapointing
!!!spoilers!!! I had extremely high expectations about this movie. Shyamalan had in my opinion made two great movies before and Signs were very hyped up when it camed to Norway. "Best film of the year, see it twice". This review was used for the commercials.
Then i sat down in the seat and was ready to be frightened and surprised. I was wrong. This movie was bad. It had bad actors (I hated the old Culkin and now a new one comes that I hate even more) Mel Gibson attempt to cry was pathetic. People in the hall seemed to think everything was very fun in the movie. Often people bursted out in laughter. I dont now know about you, but I dont think a stupid girl with the "metal-hat-thingy" was fun. And were is the plot? Why do the crappy aliens want to kidnap and gas us? They clearly didnt want the planet since it contains of 80% H2O? What if it rains? All the aliens would have died. This was just stupid. After 5 minutes I understood that water had something to do with the end. Why would Shyamalan use at least 20 minutes of the screentime about the girl drinking water. And we all knew that Gibsons character would become a priest again. And those 20 minutes with flashbacks had nothing to do with the rest of the film.
If not this movie is all a cover for a hidden theme or plot I will rate it 4/10. Comments on this are welcome.
Fangs (2002)
bad-worse-worst
This movie was extremely bad. The bats where terrible animated and they looked like those plastic-bats you buy in a toystore. The directing was really bad and I thought the actors were a joke. It was loaded with cliches and you always knew what was next to come. This movie should be avoided at all costs. ALL!
Hard Target (1993)
could have been a classic
As a John Woo-fan I just had to watch this movie, expecting a horrible movie. I was wrong. If this movie had been a Hong-Kong-production with different actors it would have been a true classic, like Woo`s Killer and Hard-Boiled. Van-Damme just sucks as he always do.(at least he has a killer haircut in this movie!) Im sure when Woo was looking for an american action-hero (just like Yun-Fat in HK) some idiot told him that Van-Damme was THE choice to make. The Woo touch of the movie can be seen trough the whole movie. From the great fight when Van-Damme meats the heroine for the first time till the great directed ending with pigeons flying around. Henriksen is the only one whos acting doesnt suck. He also has the coolest gun in the movie :) Could have been a classic if it wasnt for the bad cast.