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Reviews
A Christmas Story Christmas (2022)
Much better than I expected
I wish the original author, Jean Shepherd, helped write the script, but I wish he had narrated it, as he did in the original The Christmas Story movie.
Nevertheless, this is a very good film. It follows the storyline of the original movie (although not the two subsequent movies). It is a huge plus that most of the actors from the 1983 original reprised their roles here.
It is a crying shame that Melinda Dillon couldn't participate due to health issues, but Julie Hagerty did a great job in that role.
Peter Billingsley did an excellent job reprising his role as Ralphie. His wife and kids are all too similar to his family at the same ages, with the same trials and tribulations.
It was also cool that Scut Farkus was redeemed.
A Christmas Story Christmas will definitely be a part of my annual Christmas show rotation in the future.
A Christmas Carol (2015)
Feels like high school play
I've seen at least 20 different versions of this Christmas classic, from Mickey Mouse to Alistair Sim, from Patrick Stewart to Mr. Magoo. This is the worst version of A Christmas Carol I've ever seen.
Where to start in describing this abomination...
The first thing that hits one is that Colin Baker looks nothing like Charles Dickens, and he is the best thing about this movie.
The quality of the acting is amateurish at best. The story has been rewritten and is so different from Dickens's original that it completely misses the mark. For instance, I'm not sure why they felt it was important that Scrooge obsess on Marley, almost in a way, but I really didn't like it. Apparently, Anthony D.P. Mann thinks he is a better writer than Charles Dickens. The American/Canadian accents of every character except Dickens are also very distracting. Additionally, the music is horrendous, both both in terms of writing and performance.
The casting is awful. Anthony D.P. Mann is far too young to play Scrooge without a lot of makeup and he is a talentless actor. The Marleys also look far from impoverished.
Finally, the cinematography is bad. It seems that the director covered the lens with Vaseline to soften the picture. The sound also echos and is not clear.
All in all, this a terrible production, completely bush league. It does not have a single redeeming quality. I just wasted 67 minutes.
A Christmas Carol (2012)
Too much atmosphere, not enough story
This adaptation tries so hard to me avant garde and full of "atmosphere" that misses out on effectively actually telling the story. It quotes much of the original novella, even including the narration (much rewritten), but and with so many cut-aways to fast moving storm clouds (much overused in overlays as well) and echoed voices in Scrooge's visions, that it is obvious that the director is trying to remake this 150 year old story with the atmosphere of a modern ghost/horror story. He does not pull it off effectively.
Too much emphasis on atmosphere, not enough on the story. While the acting is respectable, the direction and cinematography are awful...a great story poorly retold.
Shark Week: How Sharks Hunt (2011)
I wish they'd just called "Cool Footage of Feeding Sharks"
This is yet another pseudo-scientific show that really tries to market excitement more than anything scientifically interesting. While there was some good footage of sharks feeding, with survivalists Cody Lundin and Dave Canterbury doing the alleged research (with the help of real experts), it is obvious that they are not going to be breaking much ground. They spout facts that they have just learned from their experts as if they didn't just learn them themselves. I wish they had just let the experts to the talking.
With inane lines like "Damn, that by was the far the quickest speed, and we were almost on the menu!" (even though they were in a shark cage) and "When it comes to all sharks, you can swim, but you can't hide.", it is obvious that all they are really trying to do is get a bunch of cool footage of sharks feeding. They should have just gone with that and not tried to pretend that they were actually trying to perform research. I also could have done without the beeped out f-bombs and s-bombs.
The most interesting (and funniest) part was when Dave Canterbury was bitten in the ear by a hagfish, probably the most foul, disgusting fish on earth. It was especially funny because hagfish generally only eat carrion. It doesn't say much for the allegedly live person it was trying to eat. On second thought, maybe old Dave was brain-dead and the hagfish was trying to munch on his brain.