Reviews

I remember watching this cartoon when I was in 3rd grade and it quickly became annoying. Our main character is Doug, a sixth grade loser, who wears the same green sweater and brown shorts every day of his life. He also has one sister, a "smart" dog, and a group of friends who come in various shapes, colors, and personalities. Sound familiar? Unlike Charlie Brown and the Peanuts shows though, this cartoon is about as preachy and annoying when it comes to teaching lessons as it gets. The music is horrible and the shows always involve Doug getting himself into some stupid situation usually he's trying to impress some girl he likes. Lame and cheap by any standards. I was only like 8 when this debuted and even then I found it unappealing. Don't even ask about the even worse Disney spinoff.

I remember seeing a few episodes of this show and then realized: "These things are terrible." Rather than your normal sitcom which has a few different plots going on at once to keep you interested, just about every episode has one small plot dragging on and the next episode is a slight change from the previous one. Jack is just annoying as an stress, overworked, and overprotective father and Carly's even worse, I mean how many good jokes can you get out of having three marriages?(They even recycle a few) None of the kids add much to the show, except Nicole whose around mostly as "eye candy", and the exes provide most of the comedy relief to the main characters who just aren't very funny. Includes a really bad "Xena" parody played by Jack's ex-wife, Stephanie. I do not recommend this trash in the least, but that hasn't stopped people from discovering the disaster that was "Something So Right."

I would have thought the title would be more towards the main character but I guess "Cycle Wuss" doesn't have much selling potential. There's more than one biker and none of them are exactly "psycho", they resemble hell's angels rejects. This makes me wonder why our hero decided to hire bikers to do his dirty work? Anyway, the abduction of the two hippie girls isn't all that "savage", its just the girls gagged and left on a couch where they cry and moan. I don't know were they came up with a title like "Numbered Days". As for the film itself in a whole, you can really decide for yourself but probably won't feel any better or worse for doing so.

This silly little cop show never allowed itself to get too serious and always gave the viewer something to enjoy. It did have several elements of "Baywatch" including tons of bikini-clad extras tanning, oiling up, or jogging at the beginning of every program and plenty of slow motion shots. Needless to say, these bike cops didn't always play by the rules but always nabbed their suspect or killed him trying(I think in real life, any cops with these guys habit of killing a suspect without being provoked would be a few dozen life terms). Darlene Vogel and Paula Trickey really showed tons of diversity in their characters, being strong and tough cops, happy and giddy off-duty friends, slinky little sex kittens, and damsels-in-distress all in about one episode. I thought it was kinda interesting to see Rick Russovich in something other than "Top Gun". But his departure from the series in 1998 started a decline in the show's quality and ultimately ended the show in 2000 rather aburptly. Definately worth checking out.

The WWF was so into their storyline over actual action that they runied an event that could have been so much better. The only real highlight would have to be the Mankind vs. the Rock match for the world title. These guys give it all they got and give definately some of the best performance in their careers. The only flaw of this match is the ending which is the exact same as Survivor Series 98. The rest of the card is not very interesting: Bossman beats Road Dogg out of nowhere, X-Pac fighting Gangrel is pretty weak, Billy Gunn getting pounded by Ken Shamrock isn't too thrilling, and Sable vs. Luna has to be one of the worst matches in Rumble history. As for the actual Rumble, there is such an emphasis by the Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler regarding the whole Austin vs. McMahon issue that you know that one of them is going to win the match. Both Austin and McMahon spend more than half of the Rumble away from the ring and we are stuck with few potential winners(Triple-H, Owen Hart, Shamrock), some longshots(D-Lo Brown, Bossman, X-Pac), a few with even longer shots(Steve Blackman, Dan Severn, Jeff Jarrett), a large number of no-shots(Golga, Droz, Blue Meanie, Al Snow), and even a few that you know were just in it because they ran out of guys(Gillberg, Mabel, Chyna). Besides, how can enjoy a Royal rumble that doesn't have the Undetaker compete?

Back in the early 90s, the Simpsons proved a surprise hit in primetime on the FOX network. In an attempt to capitalize on its success, the Big Three(ABC, NBC, CBS) all unleashed lame primetime cartoons. Even though this show outlasted Fish Police on CBS and The Family Dog on NBC, it was probably worse than both of the other two. The animation was lame, the jokes weren't funny, and its attempts to seem serious by bringing up topics like teen drugs and abuse didn't help it. Besides the guy who did Jammit's voice had to have one of the most annoying accents I've ever heard. Needless to say, the show was cancelled before the season was up not even a Burger King promo could revive it.

Glen Larson can say all he wants about how his script predated Star Wars and claim he never stole anything from George Lucas but his series is still a just a "poor man's Star Wars". The most of the characters in the show each have a counterpart from the film. Apollo is a dark-haired version of Luke(right down to the cape), Starbuck is like a short Han, Athena/Cassiopea/Sheba are all parts of Leia, Adama takes over for Obi-wan as the wise old man, Boxey and Muffit take over C3PO and R2D2's roles as the comic relief, Baltar basically is the same as Peter Cushing's character, and the Cylons are Stormtroopers with silver suits. All these plus loads of starship battles, an alien bar/casino, an exploding planet, and an ending that leaves the possibility for a sequel doesn't help it in the originality department either. Most of the names and situations were lifted from the Bible and ancient Greco-Roman mythology rather than try to seem more original or sci-fi like. It's stuff like this that makes you wonder why Larson didn't stick to Magnum PI or Knight Rider.

I keep reading about everyone mentioning how they saw this on MST3K. Well, this is from a guy who has also seen it on MST3K AND seen the original UNCUT version. The plot is basically our hero Dave Ryder(action and direct-to-video regular Reb Brown) crashes into a ship called Southern Sun helps its crew(has-been Cameron Mitchell and his real-life daughter Cisse)and from there stops a mutiny by "Eagle One" Kalgan(cult film favorite John Phillip Law) and his evil Enforcers. The film has loads of fistfights(not seen in MST3k), old Battlestar footage(and no they don't use the same scenes repeatedly), and the good guys and bad guys constantly planning in their war rooms(which are the same set). By the end of the film, our hero leaves and the villain shows up in a scene that just screams sequel(which was never made or released). This film is probably one of those kinds that you can find in a local video store in the USED bin for about $0.50 but its so corny and fast-paced you probably can actually enjoy it with MST or not(I would recommend watching it on MST3K for an extra laugh).

Its impressive that anyone would want to make a film this bad or even think that a film like this was a good idea. Arch Hall Sr. had this rather foolish dream that his son could be "the next Elvis." If that was the case: WHY SHOW HIM IN A FILM THIS HORRIBLE?!?!?! The songs are horrible and it looks like Arch and his "combo"(the Archers) spent about 30 seconds on the background music. Most of the audio was supposedly lost because the playback button kept pushed instead of record(so Arch Sr. ended up doing lots of the lame Eegah mumbling and the classic "Watch Out For Snakes!"). This film also has no characters that are interesting or any that anyone would care about! Roxy still digs Tom(even though his songs are called "Valerie" and "Vicki" and he keeps saying "Wouldn't you like to know." when she asks about them), Tom is far from attractive or musically-gifted(the fact that wears his swim trunks the entire film doesn't help)In the end this film is definately the worst of all-time, not even "Manos" has it this bad(At least it has lounge music).

The original 1984 release of this film is actually pretty interesting. unlike people, I actually read the book before I saw this movie. The film does do a really good job of certain scenes in the book. As for the people that recommend you see the "uncut" full 190-minute version, it's not worth it. The "new" footage includes loads of repeated sequences(particularly during both the battles) and does not add much to the film(unless you consider Feyd stuffing an insignia into the Doctor's mouth adding to the plot). The introduction at the beginning is long and includes stuff thats barely mentioned in the book. The 190-minute version also edits out scenes from the original that were "too graphic." So if you have a choice between original and uncut, don't waste your time on the uncut(you'll probably gain an extra hour of sleep).

This film has two of the most devious characters ever to enter Mexican cinema: Dr. Krupp,who is as evil as he is fat, and his hapless sidekick Bruno. Dr. Krupp IS actually quite the evil genius. During a flashback in the film, we find that he is clever enough to disguise himself as pro wrestling bad guy The Bat(who would ever suspect a mad scientist could be a pro wrestler?!? It's pure genius!!)and escapes the Aztec Mummy and his own snake pit trap(He was probably very happy that built that secret escape and had his keys with him). And Bruno is one of the few VERY loyal sidekicks I've ever seen in any film. The guy puts up with being punched by the Aztec Mummy, having acid thrown into his face and becoming deformed, and tolerating a boss who thinks he's a wrestler. Besides in the dubbed version, Bruno delivers the classic line "You devil! You devil!" better than anyone!