Reviews

BAD PUNS!! There are a few things that really get on my nerves in a film, and bad puns is one of them. This film is absolutely unbearable for not just the audience but the actors who are stuck inside. Arnold couldn't have been a worse choice to play Mr. Freeze, and the directors constant focus on bat nipples is terrifying. This film is perhaps one of the worst sequels ever made and it makes Batman Forever look like a minor masterpiece, and that is pretty sad.

I loved "Commander USA's Groovie Movies." I saw some of the most twisted films at a very young age on that program. Where can I get a copy of the programs? I remember seeing a film with a caveman-like creature hunting people in the woods and they defeated the creature with a trap that consisted of a log with spikes. I miss the program and wish they would play them occasionally late at night on USA.

Once in a great while a film comes along that makes you appreciate the films that you thought were bad, but seem masterful in comparison to this abomination. John Travolta's pet project Battlefield Earth is an unintentionally funny masterpiece. It is rolling around in its bloated budget and hammy acting, basking gleefully in its own filth. The film is based on a bestselling novel from scientologist L. Ron Hubbard. Being a film student, I watch this film with constant grin on my face as I try to figure out why the cinematography felt it was necessary to shoot the entire film in a canted camera angle. Granted, that canted shots create mood, but the entire film is slanted. The chiropractors across America will make the most money from this film, since whoever views Battlefield Earth will receive strong neck discomfort. A special edition DVD should be released which has a feature that straightens the film horizontally. This film is not only a $70 million dollar catastrophe, but is so bad that it may become immortalized. Every bad film will be compared to this film for years to come. Walking out of this film I was absolutely positive this was the worst film in nearly a decade. One enjoyable way to watch this film is to take it from a comedic point of view. Travolta constantly says "leverage," and "rat-brain." Why? I don't know, but boy is it funny.

Torture comes in many forms. In this case the torture is Exorcist II: The Heretic. Arguably the worst sequel ever made, this cheese filled disaster can only be watched as not a sequel but a singular monstrosity. The acting is amazingly pitiful, despite a nice effort from Louise Fletcher and Richard Burton. Burton attempts to get through those pretentious pieces of dialogue even if he has to yell them, and he does! The scenes displaying hypnosis are not only hilarious, but are embarrassing. The original film stands alone as a masterpiece, but this useless sequel was obviously made specifically for those few moviegoers who truly enjoy pain. An Exorcist sequel was obviously a hot property at the time, attracting prestigious actors, but to their dismay the film is horrific. The film was pulled from theaters after it's initial release so John Boorman could recut the film. Obviously the recuts were all for not!! The scenes taking place in Africa are well shot and slightly disturbing. Burton being stoned by a group of angry villagers crosscut with Linda Blair tap-dancing is hysterical. Someone must have known during the making of this film that something was really wrong. Oh wait, maybe someone should have said something after reading the script.