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Reviews
Glory Days (2001)
No glory here
Well, I've only watched this show twice so far, and both times I have been disappointed. It's not scary at all, and it has absolutely no gore. I was thinking that Kevin Williamson, the guy who brought us waste such as Dawson's Creek would make this be more like Scream which he wrote. Unfortunately, it's not anything like Scream. Not only is it lacking gore(notice that I stress this), but it's also lacking the sharp wit that the Scream movies and I Know What You Did Last Summer had. I'm sure its target audience is 12-15 year old girls. I'm a horror movie fan and was really looking forward to a thriller on t.v. Freaky Links, a show that was canceled without ever getting a chance, was a superior thriller. It had some gore, had a few scares, and despite its Scooby Doo-esque formulaic plots, I liked it.
Final Stab (2001)
You gotta be kidding me
I should have known not to rent this when on the back it said that it was inspired by classics such as Scream, Friday the 13th, and I Know What You Did Last Summer. I Know What You Did Last Summer is a classic horror movie? I mean come on... It was an okay horror movie with a few cheap screams. This is nowhere near the horror movie that I Know What You Did Last Summer was. I gave this a one, and I hope that I can avoid the temptation to rent another hack, wannabe Scream movie.
Bruiser (2000)
Different and intelligent
I was so glad to hear about this even though it was not released at theaters near me. However, I rented it, and it was awesome. In a world of Screams and Urban Legends, it's about time a real horror movie director actually directs something. George Romero creates a movie about a man who has no real identity very well. I had to give this a 10 because all the other idiots had only given this a rating of 4.9. It's sad when Jay and Silent Bob have a higher score than this.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Not even close to the quality of Clerks or Chasing Amy...
When I saw this movie, it was only because Sean Scott Williamson(Stifler) was in it. He's the only really funny part of the movie. I laughed a few times but the movie made no sense, and was just a bunch of trash. Jay and Silent Bob aren't funny. All the losers in the theater(mostly freaky people)were cracking up and I just didn't get it. FYI, don't take your girlfriend to this. If she has any class she'll think it's stupid and offensive.
The Glass House (2001)
Not too bad of a thriller
I was dragged to this, and I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. First of all, it is PG-13, and I knew that it was probably aiming at teenage girls. To my surprise it wasn't bad at all. It had really good acting, and the guy who played Terry Glass was awesome. The scenery and house were both awesome, yet sort of creepy. See it if your girlfriend or date drags you to it, and put up a fight, so that you can pick the next movie. And if you just want to see a decent movie in a time of wannabe slasher movies, see it.
Soul Survivors (2001)
A combination of horrific acting and directing
Steve Carpenter cannot make horror movies. First of all, the casting was very wrong for this movie. The only decent part was the hot brown haired girl from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This movies has no gore(usually a key ingredient to a horror movie), no action, no acting, and no suspense(also a key ingredient). Wes Bentley is a good actor but he is so dry and plain in this that it's sad. There were a few parts that were supposed to be funny(continuing the teen horror/comedy movies) and no one laughed in the audience. I thought that this movie was rated R, and I didn't pay attention and realized it had been changed to PG-13. Anyway, see this movie if you liked I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. That's the only type of person who would find this movie even remotely scary. And seriously, this is to you Steve Carpenter, stop making horror movies. This movie makes Scream look like Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Shaft (2000)
Disappointing white vs. black plot
In 2000, they are still making movies about the evil white man. Now of course there still are people who are quite racist, however, this is so exaggerated that it's not even borderline realistic. Christian Bale is great in this, because he is a very skilled actor and he already played this part once(American Psycho). American Psycho is a much better movie so skip this one and just see that. On the other hand, when Bale says, "See ya slick" to the sloppy, impetuous Shaft, it might make it worthwhile.
Ghosts of Mars (2001)
One of Carpenter's worst movies
I'm a huge fan of John Carpenter's work... Halloween, The Fog, and even Prince of Darkness were great. However, this movie really sucks. Ice Cube cannot act and Henstridge, even though very hot, is unbelievable as a tough, kick ass cop. The special effects are laughable, and it's kind of funny how a bunch of cops and reject, idiotic criminals can kill all of those "Ghosts of Mars." I'm a huge horror movie buff, and wouldn't recommend this to anyone unless he/she is a huge fan of Ice Cube.
Intruder (1989)
Very little gore
This is not horrible, and it has a decent cameo for Bruce Campbell, but needed much more of him to save this movie. Very average slasher flick with not enough gore. Kind of hard to find, but if you are a Bruce Campbell fan, it might be worth catching.
Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)
Has nothing to do with Urban Legends...
This is a moronic movie.. I'm a horror movie buff and this is not a good movie, I gave it a 4 because of one scene involving a kidney? At least it looked like on, haha .. a few gross parts make it laughable and the blonde who was also in Valentine's Day was good.. but that's about it. Well.. there's one Urban Legend in it.... but that's all I think! Catch it if you're really bored and really are a horror movie freak, if not, it's not worth your time.
Doctor Mordrid (1992)
Not too bad
Jeffrey Combs is great as always, however, the special effects left something to be desired. With no gore whatsoever, and not even one attempt at a scare, there is no way this movie is a horror film. I guess the directors and the fact that Jeffrey Combs is starring allows people to put this in the horror movie section. I rated it a 6.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
Absolutely horrific and hilarious
Most people wouldn't be able to consider this movie hilarious, but even though it was sick and very, very unnecessary in nature it was funny. The bumbling cops and the not even mildly heart sick parents made the movie funny. Instead of them crying, they love killing their daughter's slayers. But the movie is really quite sick so not for the faint of heart. And you have to get the uncut, unrated version, none of that edited crap.
Frightmare (1983)
Not bad... Jeffrey Combs dominates as always
Is there any question that Jeffrey Combs is one of the true horror greats? This movie seriously doesn't suck and is sort of funny... Watching a young Combs at work is great but I wish he had had more lines. Look out for Beyond Re-Animator. It's going to kick some azz.
Do You Wanna Know a Secret? (2001)
Do you wanna see a pointless horror movie?
This is one of the worst horror movies I have ever seen... Unfortunately, I am a horror movie buff and will rent any horror movie unless it's not made for t.v. When looking at the box it says it is rated R for gore and some language... Where was the gore? Was their one good death scene where you actually saw gore? I could have overlooked that if there had been some brief nudity or some good dialogue. There wasn't even one remotely witty or amusing line in this lame movie. Sometimes horror movies are awesome because they are so stupid, but this was just sad.
Valentine (2001)
Not too bad
I gave it an 8 only because it had received such low votes... this is definitely really about a 5.5..... Ummm.. it was kind of bloody, had likeable, shallow characters, and it had some really hot babes in it. I like the eclectic killer, because he didn't kill people the same way everytime... that sometimes gets old.