Change Your Image
AloysiusWeasley
- I almost always HATE book to movie adaptions, as they always neglect to put in necessary plot points in their hack jobs to the source material.
- If a movie has poor f/x, it generally throws me right out of the movie.
- I will usually dislike it if I can't gain any sort of emotional attachment from it
- There's NOTHING I love more than a good animated movie, especially anime
- I don't like much of any of the comedy Hollywood has come out with in the past few years - sexist, eye-candy riddled crap gets a thumbs down from me. Blazing Saddles is my favorite comedy, and I'd love not a modern adaption, but more *like* it
- I VERY rarely go to see anything in the theatres, because 90% of all movies coming out today are generally garbage
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Case 39 (2009)
Okay background flick with mild MST'ing potential
While this flick was watchable and had some good points (the little girl was done rather well, and Detective Mike and Doug were also pretty good characters), the combination of Renée Zellweger, somewhat unbelievable acting from many others and a rushed, clichéd feel throughout the film left me glad I'd only left it on in the background. Renée Zellweger was about as believable here as she was as Bridget Jones, and while the blame should be distributed fairly amongst the rest of the crew, her shrillness and her scenes only got worse as the film progressed, flip-flopping between emotional states to the point where my suspension of disbelief was hanging by a visceral thread. I will add that my threshold is quite high.
Overall, this film was rushed, somewhat predictable, and felt very clichéd and formulaic. There's no way I would ever get this on DVD, but it made for background noise.
Quarantine 2: Terminal (2011)
Great horror/thriller, better than the original!
*Spoilers!* I went in not expecting very much of this, thinking it was a straight-to-DVD mess or something barfed out by SyFy totally unrelated to the original. Not so! Not only did it nicely dovetail with the original (introducing through a laptop video of a newscast), it was superior to the original.
The new setting allowed for more plot/situation expansion, though I did give it an overall eight for some definite stupidity in character behavior/plot which certainly could have been improved, which we also saw in the original. With a threat like this, and a limited number of possible threats, combined with having trained emergency personnel on hand, there's no reason why they couldn't have formed a defensive perimeter and shot or otherwise taken care of any that came near. Then most everyone would have gotten out alive when the quarantine was broken, after proper testing. Barring that, the character behavior in this was generally realistic, and the acting wasn't bad. The Shilah character was ridiculous and a true detractor from the movie - she's a member of the armed forces and a medic, and she doesn't even think to pick up a weapon until long after the surprisingly competent flight attendant grabs a wrench.
Also improved was not viewing through a camera lens, making for a much less shaky movie-watching experience. Overall an excellent watch on an otherwise quiet evening if you're interested in horror/thriller with a touch of infected/zombies. The ending also demands a Quarantine 3, which will hopefully expand the universe in a 28 Days Later-like fashion. It's not often I want a sequel!
Ravenous (1999)
One huge glaring issue with the film...
Half my issue with this film is that I felt next to nothing for the characters. Literally, not a one provoked any sort of emotion at all, and that really ripped most of the sensation out of any and all action scenes in the film. It also has some very slow points that really could have used some touching up.
As odd as it sounds,the other half of my issue with the film is that the soundtrack is so jarring and unfitting it threw me right out of the film and left me incapable of taking it seriously. SCREECHING violins during action scenes were unbearable, and it only got worse as the film progressed. Really, it's THAT painful.
Death Note: Desu nôto (2006)
If you loved the anime, skip this!
In all seriousness, I went into this with an open mind, thrilled that I'd managed to find a copy offline. I haven't read the manga, but loved at least the first half of the anime series to shreds - it was innovative and clever, to say the least. The live action version, however, shares very little in common with the original counterparts, aside from certain plot points, the character L, and a few lines here and there.
The acting isn't bad, nor is the camera work, but the deviations from canon just kills it dead. What made the series so fresh was entirely lacking in the live action version, and I actually found myself bored watching this. I actually enjoyed the CGI work on Ryuk, and must say I'm glad they didn't go with some idiot in a costume instead.
Oh, and one last thing - if you found L obnoxious in the series, you will want to stab the live action counterpart. While he definitely fits the mannerisms L had in the series to a 'T', it is *completely* over-the-top in the movie. It's completely ridiculous, to the point where it was a major detractor from everything else after the point where L was introduced on-screen.
Beowulf & Grendel (2005)
Well, it could have been worse.
All right, I managed to pick up this title from Redbox, since they had a thing going where they play "deceive the customer" by putting this movie in right when "Grendel" (with Angelina Jolie) came out. The bastards.
But besides that, this wasn't as bad as it could of been. It really reminded me of one of the better made-for-TV movies. Here's some of the negatives:
- The dialog was peppered with modern slang and swears, though it could have been worse.
- There are no subtitles, so some of the accents can be difficult to make out.
- The character development isn't that great - you might feel some emotional attachment to Beowolf, the witch, and the Danish king, but everyone else is pretty much background noise/filler.
- The 'R' rating is well-deserved. It's not so much that the violence is gratuitous (especially compared to some of the more recent film atrocities), but one of the two sex scenes is disgusting. I also found the portrayal of the witch to be overdone and really aggravating at parts, especially as a Pagan. Also, these boys do like to swear, and aren't very creative about it. :( - Maybe I'm a little nitpicky, but I didn't like how brand-new, fresh, and shiny the armor looked. However, the costumes overall were very nice.
- It has little relation to the original tale upon which it is based.
There are some definite pluses to the movie, and they are as follows: - The scenery is absolutely GORGEOUS!
- If you need a break from the standard Hollywood actors and actresses' physical perfection, this movie provides a definite breath of fresh air. These warriors actually look realistic - tangled, matted hair, lumpy, and generally looking large and smelly! :D
- It definitely has some amusing parts, especially if you happen to possess a rather ribald sense of humor.
Bottom line, I can think of worse things to rent. If you like fantasy, enjoy historical films without nitpicking the accuracy, or just want to see a bunch of guys...well, being guys, you may well enjoy this film.
Stardust (2007)
Simply fabulous!
*********Quite Minor Spoilers******** Warning ahead of time - this is one of the (very small) handful of movies where I have not yet read the novel upon which it is based! Okay, on to the review! This movie has been called one of the sleeper hits of 2007, most likely because it didn't get near the promotion it (richly) deserved. Imagine my surprise to visit the IMDb page to find such a well-deserved high rating! Definitely brightened my day.
So let me tell you why I think this movie is fabulous. With such a-list actors, you knew the performances were going to be stellar (no pun intended ;), but they exceeded even my lofty expectations. The soundtrack was wonderful, and though the F/X left a teensy bit to be desired, they were far better than many other films I've seen. The story was quite original and moved along briskly - even though there were some slightly slow points, they were filled with rich emotion, and by the end of the movie, you'll know exactly what Clair Danes meant in her lengthy scene on love.
Now, why didn't I give this a '10'? Well, for starters, I don't hand out the highest rating but sparingly. For second, there were two specific things I did not particularly enjoy. For one, when the goat-turned-landlord was turned permanently (and probably lethally) back into a goat, when the body hit the floor (for which we are gifted with a close-up), it is OBVIOUSLY a mannequin. I don't know if this was to absolutely satisfy the rather alarming organization known as PETA, but it did not even bend as it hit the floor, as though the goat was made of wood.
As for my last complaint, as I said, I have not yet read the book, but somehow I doubt it contained a cross-dressing, rather....(light-wristed, shall we say?) pirate. I'm sure there were far more interesting things cut from the book that could have been used in place of this...this...polite words fail me. All I can say is, I felt Robert DeNiro was sadly utilized in this manner. For a few minutes of the film, I was sharply reminded of his role in "Meet the Parents", and this was certainly undesirable.
However, other than those two small mishaps, this is one of my new favorite fantasy films of all time, a few steps below the LotR trilogy, and slightly above the first Harry Potter (the first was great, the second was decent, but the rest are trash). This film is indeed wonderfully magical, and something my heart, jaded from far too many book-to-movie Hollywood disasters, sorely needed.
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Not a bad flick to see
Well, I'm usually not a fan of westerns, but after seeing all the hype for this flick, we decided to rent it. Seeing as there isn't a lot I usually say about movies that didn't fit in my "Best" category, I'll try to do a little bit. No spoilers, for a change.
Things I Enjoyed:
- Spectacular characterization. By the end of the film, you'll feel like you really know many of the main and main supporting characters, and that seems to be sorely lacking these days.
- Great landscapes and a full set of fabulous props.
- Unlike many of the "deleted scenes" you see on many movies these days, you'll actually wonder why the ones on 3:10 to Yuma weren't part of the flick, they're great!
- You might actually learn something on the DVD extra features, about the Pinkertons, the aftermath of the civil war, and the start of many of the glorified wild west outlaw gangs.
- Great acting, memorable lines, and a nice story/plot all around
Things I wasn't so fond of:
- There were a few (as I like to call them) "Bwah?" moments; a few scenes why you may wonder why some people acted the way they did.
- It did leave you feeling wanting after the end. Not exactly a "What was the point of this?", but it just...it leaves you feeling almost as though there should have been more, or perhaps a longer film.
- I felt it had a few slow spots.
Other than that..this was an all right flick. I suppose I'm not surprised its received all the hype it has, after all the other junk Hollywood has been coming out with these days. Definitely not a waste of an evening, but not the best flick, either.
Sunshine (2007)
Meh.
*********MAJOR SPOILERS TO SPARE YOU THE TIME OF WATCHING********
'Meh' definitely sums up this film. It left no real impression on me besides how claustrophobic space is, and how annoying and irritating much of the camera work is throughout the last half of the movie. So let's do a quick n' dirty summary, then we'll get back to that.
All right, a few astronauts go into space (50 years beyond our present time) to drop a nuclear payload into the sun, which is dying a few billion years ahead of schedule. Mistakes are made, part of the ship is damaged, and they find out the first ship sent out to complete their current mission is still floating around. They finally go to check it out to see if anything's still salvageable, since their ship doesn't have enough oxygen since their hydroponic bays were torched during one of the early rounds of mistakes. "Somehow", the only remaining member of the original crew slips aboard the main ship (going from Icarus I to Icarus II), and starts killing people and generally trying to sabotage their ship and scuttle the mission, since "god said so." Bad guy ends up failing, the payload is delivered, but everybody dies and the sun is re-lit and the Earth is saved. Yay.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's go through the problems with this film:
- Little character development, though I've honestly seen much worse.
- The lack of supernatural events or aliens led them to turn this into a slasher flick.
- If you've got any common sense at all, you'll spot the technical issues with this. Definitely has a few "bwah?" moments, and otherwise spots where some characters barely survive a situation, but later on other characters doing the same or more are fine.
- Gratuitous gore with no point, especially when Cassie (one of the 'nauts on Icarus II) rips the flesh off the baddies' arm. Yuck. Though admittedly, the 'naut who drifts off into space and freezes, begins to break apart, and then is fried to a crispy critter by the sun was pretty cool.
- Oh yea, almost forgot the camera work. I have no idea what feelings or atmosphere they were trying to inspire with this, but it SUCKED. You never get a clear view of the killer, as immediately after he comes on the screen (which happens quite a few times), it's almost as if someone both put the camera out of focus and was shaking it violently. It happens more and more as the film goes on, and I almost didn't finish the movie because of it. It's so bad that even if the film was better, I'd just about not recommend it JUST for this.
The good parts:
- Like I mentioned at the top, the feeling of claustrophobia was pretty well done, and definitely made me question just how well I'd do in space.
- The space landscape shots are generally awe-inspiring and gorgeous.
- It had a few fun scenes, admittedly.
Bottom line - if you've just about exhausted anything you've ever wanted to see and need something to fill your netflix que, there are quite a few films worse than this. However, keep in mind that it made very little in the way of box office receipts, and there's a reason for it.
The Descent (2005)
One of the best horror movies in YEARS!
All right, I'm going to try to do this one without spoilers. A short summary of the movie goes like this: This movie has a bit of background in the beginning, establishing that there's basically this group of chicks that gets together to do some adrenaline-pumping activities every year together (no, not that kind). First, they go white-water rafting, and I won't spoil what happens after that. The next year, they get together with a few more friends and decide to go spelunking. They set out the next day, after spending a night in a cabin. For what happens after this point, look at the genres this movie is in, and decide where the movie goes from there. ;) All right, on to the goodies! Even as a horror/thriller fan that's seen a whole lot of these types of movies and is getting a bit jaded, this movie was GREAT! There are no stupid people in this acting in moronic ways to move the plot along. No "Let's split up", no moments of "Hey, what's that noise, let's go check it out (unarmed)", and best of all, no stupid bimbos (with or without clothing torn in creative ways). There's not even really any moments of "Wow, that was dumb, I could have done way better". This movie is chock-full of intelligent women who can take care of themselves, and that's certainly a breath of fresh air that this genre DESPERATELY NEEDS.
Now, the acting? Awesome, considering there's no actresses in here you've probably ever heard of. Plot - really sound. What they face in this movie is very realistic, and not really that implausible at all. Also, when you're watching this, you won't even be able to believe this wasn't actually filmed in a cave. Probably my favorite part of this movie was the atmosphere - incredibly tense, this is one of those movies where you shouldn't even bother getting the popcorn, because there's a pretty good chance you might your tongue off at some point.
I just saw this a half hour ago (I'm still shaking), and I'm trying to think if there's anything I didn't like AND how to tell you in a non-spoiler way. Well..occasionally they're a little hard to understand, since a couple of the women have fairly thick UK accents. Oh, and there's a particular pool in the cave that may render a "Bwah? How did that get there?". However, that's IT.
Bottom line? Rent it if you want, but this one's well worth the buy. Make sure you don't get it confused with the Cave (which came out just after this movie), because the Cave is absolute dreck, especially compared to this. Also, if you're in the U.S., make sure you get the unrated version, since our version over here got cut.
Oh, and one more thing. You won't want to go spelunking after this one. Ever.
Robots (2005)
Not a bad Disney flick
****EXTREMELY MILD SPOILERS****
I happened to catch this movie twice as a marathon of it aired Christmas Eve. Don't let my fairly low rating of it veer you away - it is a very cute flick, and has lots of moments for both kids and adults alike.
Here's what I liked:
- Very awesome animation
- There's always something interesting going on in the background of the movie. You'll see something new every time you watch it.
- Good voice acting; I was especially fond of Mel Brooks, Robin Williams, and Dylan and Will Denton as Mr. Bigweld, Fender, and Rodney.
- Interesting characters - though I felt only Rodney, Mr. Bigweld, and the villain set in this got decent background story, what we did get was touching and generally inspired empathy (not in the villains, though, of course). I was especially fond of Mr. Bigweld. ;D
- Decent plot, though it's not without the occasional moment of "Why did they do that?".
Things I wasn't so fond of:
- Honestly, I expected Rodney to end up with Piper. With Rodney ending up with the beautiful, updated robot Cappy instead, it reduced Piper to the little sister/occasional player in the movie role. I also was left slightly unsettled by the message it was sending.
- Speaking of messages I didn't like, though the theme ended up being "Accept people as they are", I felt there was something a little more to it. Perhaps I was reading too much into a kid's flick, but honestly, the second time around, I was left with a slightly bitter taste in my mouth, feeling that the message instead had more of a political flair to it. Why, you ask?:
There was no mention of another country or anything beyond mentioning Rodney's small hometown. However, I felt the message ended up being "No matter how annoying, stubborn, or backward others are, accept them as they are". Every robot could have upgraded, but one line from Fender told us they 'couldn't afford it'. Yes, the villains were somewhat despicable from many middle and lower-class viewpoints, but overall, their plan was to streamline society, and get everyone on the same page, if you will. They were despicable in how they were rounding up all the 'outmodes' to melt down for scrap, but we aren't given much of an indication how long this situation had been going on in the robot world to be able to make a firm judgment, though it does feel like it had been a few years. I found it very difficult to put my finger on, but it definitely felt...off, like the studio had an agenda, past just making this appealing to the target audience.
- Some of the other characters can be slightly annoying at times, and it definitely has some nauseatingly sappy moments.
Bottom line? This movie is a pretty good example of the newer American animation films, and definitely for all ages. Some other reviewer was complaining about innuendo and a fart joke, but it's pretty mild. Worth getting to complete a collection, and DEFINITELY worth taking the time to catch this heart-warming movie when it airs on cable/satellite.
28 Days Later... (2002)
Pretty good flick
I thought this movie was pretty much on par with the likes of the (updated) Dawn of the Dead. Definitely in the top zombie movies ever, that's for sure.
Here's what I liked: - You felt for the characters, even though you never find out much at all about their background or where they came from. You want them to succeed, that's for sure.
- The imagery when Jim is walking around deserted London is A+
- Lots of moments to make you jump.
- Enjoyable DVD extras, though (as always) I can do without the stupid director's commentary
- The humorous bits were generally amusing and didn't detract from the film, as they do in many other movies.
Things I didn't enjoy so much:
- I wasn't a big fan of the whole giant spot in the movie devoted to the soldiers deciding they were going to rape the women, and making them get dressed up, and all that rubbish. I think after Jim was knocked out with the rifle butt, the major saying they needed to keep the women for breeding purposes was enough. It just kind of started to drag on, and instead of believing they were necessary, by the end of it, you were left with the feeling the soldiers were just moronic horny guys.
- I read in some of the comments that the actual broadcast saying other countries had been infected was false, but honestly, I didn't catch it in the movie. Thus, I was left with the wonderment of "How did they get onto planes and trains, when the infected go berserk in 20-30 seconds? Wouldn't someone have NOTICED?". But since my 'suspension of disbelief' threshold is pretty high, I wasn't overly bothered, luckily.
- I can't quite put my finger on it, but it just left you with the feeling of needing..a little bit more. Not just the sequel, but as though it needed to be a little bit longer in some crucial points, to extend the emotion and horror of the situation a bit. Also, not a major thing, by any means.
- Would have liked more information about the virus - apparently, it's available, but only if you get the graphic novel. >:(
Bottom line - be prepared to be left very, very paranoid when this movie's over. And not having too much of a liking for animal liberation groups.
Eragon (2006)
Worst Fantasy Film (Probably) EVER
*******EXTREMELY MILD SPOILERS!********* For starters, I'm a big fan of sci-fi and fantasy, and I usually go out of my way to see movies like this. I let Eragon slip by while it was in theaters, because I found the book to be absolutely dreadful, reading like exactly who had written it: a Lords of the Rings/Star Wars fanboy nerd who sat around in his parents' basement before crapping this out. I still wanted to see the movie, because the special effects looked pretty cool, and it would less of a waste than forcing myself to read the whole book.
I never considered the movie could be even WORSE! Seriously, I'm trying to think of what was actually GOOD about this movie, and...well...the baby dragon was kinda cute. And some of the scenery was pretty nice. And...that's all I got.
Probably the most horrible thing about this movie was the complete and utter lack of any sort of characterization whatsoever. By the end of the movie, you will hardly be able to remember the names of the characters, much less care about what happens to them.
A close second to that is how horribly clichéd this is. I mean, if you've read or even seen LotR, you know what happens. As a matter of fact, if you've seen either one of these, you could make the viewing more enjoyable by MST'ing it and pointing out all the rip-offs. Most especially the hunting horn (BOROMIR!), the battle (HELM's DEEP!), the enemy forces (ORCS!), and a whole bunch of others I'm too apathetic about this movie to list.
As for the rest of the flaws? The f/x have their good parts and their bad parts. I actually saw on the Wiki page that a couple sources applauded how great the dragon looked. No, no, it didn't, it looked like GCI trash. From what the fans say, the movie hacked out even larger chunks of book to make the movie than the Harry Potter ones do, and that's REALLY saying something.
Honestly, I'm just glad I never bought this movie, and got to view it with friends instead. I haven't heard anything about a (movie) sequel, which surprises me not in the slightest. Basically, if you're looking for a movie to play/practice Mystery Science Theatre on, this one's pretty good. Otherwise, please, don't waste your time!
Corpse Bride (2005)
Another one of Tim Burton's brilliant works
Tim Burton may have flubbed with the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Big Fish, but he certainly pulled no punches with this! If you liked Nightmare Before Christmas (NBC), you're going to love this! Let me count the ways: - More stop-motion animation! Difficult to do, VERY time consuming, and definitely a labor of love in this movie as well.
- Definitely a very cute, Gothic-y romance story - heavier on the romance than NBC, but it goes every bit as deep into the underworld atmosphere in this movie as they did with Halloween Town, and in some places, explained it further.
- Excellent musical score! - Gorgeous sets and Victorian atmosphere! - You'll definitely become attached to the characters - I won't give away the ending, but rest assured, you won't be disappointed! Bottom line, I found no flaws with this movie. Not something for the youngest children to go to, but if you're a fan of Tim Burton, animation, NBC, or just in need of a a romance film without excess sappiness, this just may be the film for you. Definitely worth your time!
Ratatouille (2007)
Pixar's Worst Yet
*********MINOR, MINOR SPOILERS*********** You can find out what this movie is about from the front page, so I'm just going to critique it here.
For starters, this movie got two stars from me instead of zero because the animation was quite unique and paid great attention to detail. Not anywhere near say, a Studio Ghibli level of technique of animation, but quite good, nonetheless.
On to the faults, of which there are MANY. Let me just list them, for easier reading: - The whole plot is RIDICULOUS. Leaving aside that this is animation (which does often take many more liberties than would be allowed with non-animated productions), rats running a kitchen (Gross!)? A chef being controlled by his hair? No one ever seeing said rat back lit under a white hat? A rat that just "somehow" knows how to make all these dishes, knows what the culinary equipment does, and knows exactly what spices to use, EVERY time? Really.
- I almost never say this (usually I campaign for the other end of the spectrum), but this movie is WAAAY too long! It really begins to drag and blend together by about a third of the way in, and it was a real struggle to keep watching. I can think of so many more deserving movies that should have been gifted with such a time allotment! - Can you find a sympathetic character in this? Good, I couldn't either. Characterization was definitely lacking, as well as motivation - pretty much every character in this movie is flat, uninspired, and frankly, annoying and grating.
- Humor that is "mostly adult-oriented"? PLEASE. I think I cracked a smile about five times during this one, and maybe a giggle. It's so overloaded with saccharine garbage you will be nauseated.
- On a more personal note, if you don't like rats and find their little pestilence-ridden bodies distasteful, this is NOT the movie for you. Also, I'm not quite sure why so many animated flicks in the past few years have made the focus of their films detestable creatures (rats, bees, ants, other insects, mice, pigs, birds, and did I mention how many movies there are about bugs?) The last good movie I saw with anything that counted as a predator would be Lion King. What is it, some sort of vulnerability ploy? - I'm no expert on how European kitchens work, and there are many other flaws with this movie that many other excellent reviewers have pointed out. Don't let my review be the only one you read, and PLEASE don't take the number of stars given this one seriously! Every Pixar and Disney employee must have been told to give this a great review and number of stars, on ALL the major movie sites! Bottom line, looking for a better rat/mouse-type animated movie? How about The Rescuers, or one of the Fievel/American Tail movies, or best yet, The Rats of Nimh. Looking for a better movie by Pixar? Personally, I'd say Toy Story one or two, The Incredibles (fabulous, original work right there), Finding Nemo, or you know what, anything but this movie, and I think A Bug's Life isn't that great, either.
To me, Pixar was one of the top American animation companies not just for their above-par animation techniques, but because their movies had one foot in the real world, while the other spun off into the realm of the fantastic. The Incredibles was the best example of this - I mean, superheroes being sued for saving a suicidal person? FABULOUS idea! But then they came out with Cars. I watched it and was nearly as annoyed as I was with this feature. Why were the cars there? Who made them? Questions like that. This movie tried to go back to their original formula, but flopped, and honestly, I blame new input from Disney for this. Hopefully, they'll do better in making future films, and I'll continue to wonder how this film got so many positive rating (and how many studio people helped make this so).
Blood: The Last Vampire (2000)
Watch Blood+ first!
I just caught this on Sci-Fi's Ani-Monday, and it was a pretty cool piece of anime. They ran it for about 42 minutes, while according to several sites, the actual version runs 48-49 minutes, so obviously, stuff got cut. Luckily, it wasn't noticeable to me, though I'm sure I'll find out what was missed when I pick it up on DVD.
All right, on to the movie! It's your basic vampire anime (no shortage of those), centered around a 'girl' named Saya. The powers-that-be that she works under set her up to infiltrate a school on an airbase, to investigate some recent killings there. That's your basic non-spoiler plot.
The cons? As many have already said, it was very short. Extremely little in the way of explanation, back-story, or character development. No Hagi. :( The good stuff? The animation was of an interesting and quality style. The action and gore were definitely there, it definitely didn't drag.
So why did I give it 7 stars? I've been a die-hard follower of Blood+ since it began airing in the U.S., which is the series which is set *after* the events of 'Blood: The Last Vampire'. Thus, I already know who Saya is, along with her 'handler' of sorts David, as well as what they are fighting.
Bottom line? If you just watch this without seeing Blood+, it's just a cool little movie about vampires. However, if you first watch the series, it becomes an awesome bit of back-story; a view of Saya before the events of Blood+ (which you'll love if you watch Blood+, since flashbacks are limited to a scant handful of specific times). No Hagi, Diva, or Chevaliers, but this is a must-have, and much like an extra-long episode to enjoy and complete the collection.
Pâfekuto burû (1997)
MUCH better anime to be seen!
*****Very VERY minor spoilers******
Okay, I just checked this out when it aired (dubbed) on the sci-fi channel. I will tell you ahead of time, I watch any anime I can get my hands on, so no worries this review is going to be like some of the other clowns commenting on this with things like "I had no idea what an 'anime' was before this, har har!". *eyeroll* Anyway, I will say first that this is a little different than most anime I've seen thus far. After watching, this really struck me as a cross between Law and Order: SVU and anime, only in this movie, you follow around a pop singer/beginning actress instead of the cops. No supernatural stuff to be found in here, so no awesome robots or post-apocalyptic societies.
Now, I usually love anime, and seeing me giving one a low rating is quite unusual, so why four stars? Let me count the ways: - I was paying pretty strict attention, and it makes VERY little sense! When you hit about the middle of the movie, the Mima (the main character the film follows around) is having serious delusions, first seeing herself in many places in her old pop-singing outfit, and later, apparently dreaming of her work as an actress. It quite literally hits a big piece of the movie where it's practically IMPOSSIBLE to tell what's real and what's not. I only wish I was joking.
- This anime is dated. They have a bit where Rumi (The girls' manager? Something along those lines) is explaining how to use the internet. Not only is Mima's spoiled whining harsh on the ears, the explanation is painfully simple and grating to anyone who's ever been even in close proximity to a computer.
- I've seen a couple commenters say the dubbing is pretty good. I say - not REAL good! Most especially in the beginning, where Mima is singing with the two other members of her pop group CHAM, the dubbing was about half again as good as in the original Godzilla. Needless to say, the voices and the the mouths moving don't always match up.
- If you're not fond of characters doing stupid things to further the plot, you may have a real problem with this movie. One point in particular that left me incredulous: Mima receives a letter bomb, and her manager's hands are cut up pretty good. Yet...no one calls the police? - I'm not usually one that even tries to figure how how things are going to turn out in mysteries and thrillers of any kind, but the ending is pretty predictable. Needless to say, your first impressions of the characters are probably spot-on. However, in one of the very last frames, the movie tries to throw in one last twist (?), but I fail to see what that was trying to accomplish or imply.
Now for the things that earned it four stars: - If you're into techno or j-pop (I am, of course), you'll probably find the music in this pretty nifty.
- The animation is pretty good. It looks more realistic than in many other anime I've seen, though it's not my personal favorite style.
- As you'll recall in the beginning of my review, I mentioned that I'd just caught this on sci-fi. Now, having not seen the original version of this in either the r-rated or unrated version on DVD, I realize that (as usual) the network may have cut some pretty good chunks out of it. However, the editing must not have been too severe, as taking a look at the message board here proves that even if you've seen it on DVD, it STILL doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Either way, I'm giving it a little benefit of the doubt, as I vividly recall the horrible and totally unnecessary edits commonly made to anime. Never mind the fact that one often sees things like this on Law and Order or CSI, but there you go.
Finally? I'm personally offended that some people have dared to compare this to an absolutely fabulous anime that came out the same year, Studio Ghibli's "Princess Mononoke". Not only are the two of COMPLETELY different genres, comparing Princess Mononoke to Perfect Blue is like eating a piece of chocolate VS. being stabbed in the eye. No, really.
Bottom line - don't waste your time. If it's a crime/psychological thriller you're looking for, there are vastly better movies. If you're looking for good anime - RUN AWAY. Hands down, this is probably the worst anime I've ever seen, and definitely the one that made the least sense.
Elf (2003)
Through the seven levels of the candy cane forest and the sea of twirly, swirly gumdrops...
I'm not usually a big fan of the sort of 'comedy' that Hollywood likes to put out, but this movie is GREAT! First, let me quickly sum it up. Buddy (Will Farrell) crawled into Santa's sack of gifts as a baby, and ended up being raised at the North Pole and working in Santa's toy shop. He's not near as good as making toys as the other elves, and one day he finds out he's actually human. With Santa's blessing, he makes his way to New York City to find his dad.
Needless to say, his dad, Walter Hobbs (James Caan) isn't too thrilled to be confronted by an apparently delusional guy claiming he's his son. Walter ends up having blood tests done, and Buddy is really his son. Then he makes efforts to integrate him into both his family and his work place, with often hilarious results.
All right, enough with the summary, you can find that anywhere! This movie is FABULOUS, and I usually despise anything to do with Will Farrell or Christmas. His acting in this movie is just perfect - Buddy wanders around with a perpetually curious, excited, dreamy sort of expression, and comes up with the most gut-busting things to say, all with a perfectly straight face.
The rest of the family (Mary Steenburgen as Emily and Daniel Tay as Michael) are great and perfectly believable. I usually don't even like the kids in family movies like this, finding them either nauseatingly sweet or horrifyingly ill-mannered, but I really enjoyed Michael. And poor Walter - he's in a good but often difficult job, and overseen by a tyrant control-freak boss we don't meet until fairly close to the end of the film. A small mention to Jovie (Zooey Deschanel), since she was fairly good, but I wasn't as fond of her character as I could have been.
Bottom line - the acting in this movie is brilliant, and it's pretty much non-stop laughs. I really only have one complaint about this movie - I suppose it's to be expected, but I really could have done without the sickly-sweet ending. It could have been worse, but I found the scene with everyone singing to bring Santa's sleigh up to the proper flying height to be really annoying. Other than that, though - I just CANNOT get over how funny and totally re-watchable this movie is!
The Cave (2005)
MUCH better horror movies to be seen!
All right, I didn't expect much out of this movie when I caught it on the telly the other day. Even so - this movie was ATROCIOUS. First, let me count the ways this movie was horrible, then at the end I'll tell you why I thought it still merited some stars from me.
- The acting/characters in this were AWFUL and utterly flat. Almost less than 2-dimensional, I didn't care one bit what happened to any of them. Literally, you're given no reason at all to care, because you get to find out NOTHING about them.
- The camera work is terribly shoddy. I don't know if this was someone's idea of 'style', but it jumps all over the place, especially in the beginning-middle parts.
- I've got a pretty high 'suspension of disbelief' threshold, but this movie will leave you constantly asking: "Why didn't they do THIS instead of THAT?!" "Why didn't they pick up that useful tool on the way by?" "How is that guy walking on a broken leg?" "How did they get there from here?" "Is that even technically possible?"
You get the idea.
- I realize this is a fantasy/horror movie and totally fictional, but no explanation was ever given on how critters that big actually SURVIVE down there. There were quite a lot of them, so what do they all eat? It's not like cavers could be a big part of their diet, since not many people come to go spelunking/cave diving there, and at least half of the ones that came before seem to have been transformed, anyway!
- Jack (played by Cole Hauser) is apparently the leader of their expedition. He gets bitten/clawed, and starts looking rather ill and acting oddly. But yet...they keep following him anyway..?
The list just goes on and ON, so I'll give a (short) list on the things I liked:
- Many monster and horror movies never give you a clear view of just what's attacking. I'm not sure whether this is to cover up poorly done F/X or what, but I LOVED how we got to see quite a few awesome shots of these odd cave creatures!
- Some very nice scenery in this movie.
Other than that, this movie was pretty good to play Mystery Science Theatre 3000 with, one of our favorite games for bad movies. The ending left room for a sequel - though the premise sounded interesting, sequels are generally worse than the original, leaving thoughts of just how bad it could possibly be. Maybe there's nowhere to go but up? >.<
Hannibal (2001)
Too many deviations from the original source material
*****SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK AND THE MOVIE!!!****** I just finished the books, after seeing both Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal in movie form beforehand. I've mentioned this in some of my other reviews beforehand, but let me say it again: I HATE movies that deviate from the original source material! I'm tired of seeing it ALL the TIME, and it's quite nearly reached the point where if Hollywood refuses to do justice to the books they're adapting, then I'll no longer see adapted movies.
All right, on to the movie. Anthony Hopkins does an incredible job as Dr. Hannibal Lector again, with only a handful of changes I could have suggested. As does Gary Oldman, playing Mason Verger - what a pleasant surprise! We got a new actress playing Clarice Starling, since Jodie Foster is...well, if you've read up about this movie in the message boards, she refused to play in Hannibal because she didn't like the ending. How terribly arrogant. Luckily, however, we got a competent actress as a replacement.
The movie admittedly did drag in a few places, but overall was pretty good until it hit the part where Hannibal escapes from Mason Verger's barn with Clarice. Right there is when the movie begins to deviate from the book ending, and it begins to slide downward into mediocrity. Let me count the ways: - Hannibal's psychological manipulations of Clarice are cut.
- It was immediately apparent that Clarice was turned into some flighty creature while at the dinner table, as opposed to the utter poise and self-confidence she displayed in the book.
- In the book, she ENJOYED eating Krender's brain. In the movie, she fell from the table in drugged horror, which begun the whole bit where she tried to catch Hannibal but he ended cutting off his own hand to escape her handcuffs instead.
So basically, by deviating from the book, the ending was turned into easily-forgettable, typical Hollywood fodder. This movie could have positive *shone*, becoming a controversial movie for the ages along with its predecessor, Silence of the Lambs. Instead, it attains a relatively low rating on this site, all because of arrogance and cowardice.
I gave this movie 5 stars for the excellent performances of Anthony Hopkins and Gary Oldman (Along with an honorable mention for Julianne Moore). Also, the movie was pretty good right up until it hit the halfway point, so perhaps it could be viewed as half the number of stars for half a good movie.
Alien Resurrection (1997)
The movies only got better with each sequel!
The Alien series is one of the few and far-between sets of movies where NONE of the sequels bomb! I'm disappointed to see that many didn't like this latest installment - I'm puzzled as to why. This movie had it all:
- GREAT F/X - Believable characters - A pretty good premise to continue - Lots of tension and edge-of-your-seat moments - Did I mention the awesome F/X?
I'm trying to avoid a spoiler review this time, so I'll keep it simple with my only (very small) complaints with the movie:
- Why 200 years in the future? We saw vividly in the other movies how ambitious the Company was, why would they wait so long? My guesses to explain are that perhaps they had to wait for technology to catch up to what they wanted to do, or perhaps the previous endeavors had left them financially strapped, perhaps.
- There was one character death that didn't make a lot of sense. If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about.
As a matter of fact, at the end of the movie, I was left asking only one question - when's Aliens 5 coming out? Aliens invade the Earth, FTW! :D
Final Destination 3 (2006)
Looking for a gore-fest thriller? You've found it!
All right, so this movie does have its bad spots and pretty bad characterization, but for what it's made for, it excels.
The bad? None of the characters were different or unique in any way. They basically rounded up a set of clichés from ~insert high school here~ - we have the goths, the preps, jocks, and most annoyingly, the stuck up b*tches who worry about nothing more than how their tans will look at the graduation (Yes, I cheered and laughed when they died). They put in a particularly annoying GCI scene when the roller-coaster actually crashed that was eye-rollingly bad. I also thought perhaps it could have included the surviving characters from the last one, just for a touch of continuity in the series. Lastly, I had a few moments of confusion when the lead characters were with the goth kids (who were cleaning and closing up a large hardware store for the night) - how did they NOT hear the things crashing to the floor and the walkie-stacker still moving? But honestly, in retrospect (I watched it last night), I can't think of anything else I didn't enjoy.
The good spots? Well, it's blindingly obvious how the stuck-up chicks are going to die, but I found the other deaths to be if not out of the blue (duh), then shocking, to say the least. The lead character tried to figure out how everyone was going to die by using pictures she took of them before the roller-coaster crashed, and there was just NO WAY you could have predicted it. It was much more one of those they died, and THEN you saw what the picture was revealing. I always enjoyed the Rube Goldberg-esquire way the characters seem to die - they show a couple things happening, and a few minutes later, it shows how those small things were the catalyst for what happens to a character. Lastly, there were no (rather cheap) cop-outs by any characters surviving by ending up in a padded cell - rocks fall, everyone dies. Just when you thought they'd cheat death by skipping the order (saving someone), everyone ends up together on the same subway car...
This movie left me feeling two things - extreme paranoia, and the hope they are going to make a fourth one! Granted, I did like the car crash in the second one much better than the roller-coaster (Best car crash in a movie EVER!), but the initial vision of the 'coaster crash was pretty neat. I also felt the overwhelming feeling that I suppose was the moral-of-sorts of the series - death is inescapable. Bottom line - if you're looking for some gore and some scared jumps of surprise, along with a movie that will have you looking around corners and seeking signs all around you of impending death, this is definitely the movie for you!
Bad Moon (1996)
When will we get a GREAT werewolf movie?
First off, this movie is BAD. If you're attempting to work through the entire horror section of your local Blockbuster, feel free to give this one a pass. Even if you're a big fan of werewolf movies (as I am), there are better ones to be had, such as American Werewolf in Paris, or even Cursed with Christina Ricci.
On to the movie! For starters, the acting in this is horrible - I didn't care a whit for anyone in it, and was puzzling throughout the whole thing why it took them so long to suspect the brother. He acted odd as soon as he reached their house to stay, and by the time they were sitting down to dinner after Thor (the German Sheperd) was taken away, he was acting like a serial killer, only minus the charisma. The lines the kid had were trite and pathetic, and perhaps it was just me, but I found the mother's eyebrows to be quite distracting - they were abnormally dark for the hair color, and screamed "Bad dye job! Bleach me please!". One would think that was a small thing, but watch and see - the camera seems to focus on them throughout the movie, and it was truly distracting. To sum up the acting, perhaps it was the screen writer's fault, but one could pretty much predict what they were going to say a mile off, and I was pretty much hoping for a 'rocks fall, everyone dies' ending by say, the middle of the movie. Best actor was the dog who played Thor, hands down.
Scare factor for this movie? 2/10. I tend to jump during scary movies, and though I felt a small bit of unease throughout the thing, there was no point where I even flinched. It's just "Oh, there's the werewolf again, whoopee." And when I say 'unease', don't think the feeling of overwhelming malice in awesome Japanese horror movies, it was a very tiny fraction of that. Personally, there were a small handful of scenes where body parts/gore were seen, and there was a stupid and pointless sex scene in the first 10 minutes (And wow, you get to see a NIPPLE, dude! Booobs!) - thus, I fail to see why this wasn't given a PG-13 rating. If a kid over 10 or 11 sees this, they're not going to be scarred for life, trust.
F/X? Well, definitely not as bad as The Howling, but not really anything to write home about, either. The initial werewolf we see in the Amazon looks HORRIBLE. I'd expect to see something like that in a b-movie 70's flick. I will give a bit more credit to the transformation scene much later in the movie, (where the sister discovers her brother is the werewolf) which at least made me stop and examine it, and finally give a nod of faint approval. Definitely not the most realistic thing I've ever seen, but there was a part close to the end of it where his head is all misshapen that made me raise my eyebrows in surprise.
I also had to add a more personal bit about the emotional impact of this movie, or the lack thereof. I felt bad for none of the people who were killed - there was a logger doing a survey that got whacked before we found anything about him (after ignoring the alarming sounds of a large predator nearby, Darwin at work here), and a pointless fraud who provoked Thor in an attempt to sue the family who was killed later off-screen. Apparently there were 5 or 6 hikers/logging people who were also killed when the brother was out at the lake in his Airstream. The most horrible point in the movie was where Thor was being taken away by animal control, I really felt for his attempts to get back to his family and protect him from the Bad Person among them. Everybody acts in a manner that screams "Stop doing stupid things!", and wow, am I tired of seeing that in horror movies!
I found out this movie was (loosely) based on a book, so perhaps that explains why it's so bad. Apparently, most of the family was cut out (2 kids, a cat, and a father, the latter of which I was wondering the story behind throughout the movie), and the book was from the viewpoint of Thor. Sounds like this is another one where you should read the book, and skip the movie - I know I'll be hunting down the book, myself, though it may be a small chore, since it appears to be out of print. I read a short summary for it, and it positively screams to me that all the interesting bits were hacked out for no particular reason.
Hauru no ugoku shiro (2004)
One of the best animated movies of ALL TIME - classic status, STAT!
First off, if you're at ALL a fan of animation, Studio Ghibli, or even just catching a movie that will bring you back to times when things were simpler and people weren't just up for the 'snatch and grab and screw everybody else', you need to see this movie RIGHT NOW. I will admit to being biased, since this *is* my favorite movie of any (animated or not), but honestly, whether you're 7 or 70, this movie is a guaranteed delight. Every time I see this movie, I'm immediately overwhelmed by feelings of wonder, delight, creativity, and hope, and I must say I've definitely seen this movie over 60 times. It doesn't get old, and it's one of those movies where every time you see it, you see something new in the background you'd never noticed before.
Okay, on to actually telling you about the movie! The animation and musical score are so far above average it's not even funny. I could watch this with it on mute, and I'd still be struck by the wonder of all the scenery, and the excellent emotional responses of the characters. I could listen to the music from this for HOURS, and if you're any sort of creative person (writer, poet, musician, artist, etc.) it WILL inspire you. Also, I haven't seen the subbed version yet, but unlike many dubbed anime, you will NOT feel like you're being talked down to!
Now, this movie is based on a book by Diana Wynne Jones. This is one of the handful of movies where I've watched before I read, and unlike most book to movie adaptations (I loathe nearly all of them), this movie stands on its own with excellence. The book is most certainly a bit different (you will get more of a background on the characters and plot), but for once, I can actually say I loved both equally. It's not necessary to read the book first by any means, but make sure you don't neglect to do so! As a writer, I work with words and their nuances constantly, but even I have immense trouble trying to find words to describe the utter fabulousness of this movie! I'm honestly trying to take a step back and take a critical look at it, but there are NO flaws, no things I would have improved. I wish this movie had actually been released to the public to see in the theaters (I would have had to drive 7 hours to see this when it first came out, and I live very close to a large city - we're talking practically NYC and LA release only!), so many more people could have been struck by the wonder this movie inspires.
So if you need an uplift, rent this movie ASAP. Better yet, buy the DVD - it is quite difficult to obtain outside of stores that specialize in anime and the internet, but it is VERY worth it - the DVD has awesome extras and lots of artwork used in the creation of the movie. I PRAY this isn't the last movie Hayao Miyazaki directs!
The Howling (1981)
Trust me, there are better things to do rather than waste time watching this movie...
*SPOILERS!* I came here to read the reviews for The Howling before I decided to record it on AMC (to watch later, since it was on rather early). Let me tell you, this movie was DREADFUL.
For starters, I'd heard great things about the story, plot, and special effects. Not so! I watched it with my Dad, and one of the first things he said was "What, was this movie from the 70's?". It only went downhill from there. There was a scene where the edges and wrinkles of the rubber glove was clearly visible when one of the werewolves reached through a broken wooded panel to reach the woman. There was a campfire sex scene - the initial transformations were all right, but then the camera moves back to about 20 feet away, and it is the fakest, WORST computer effects I've EVER seen! The f/x are all right by the time the woman and the remaining officer are in the jeep, trying to escape (the jeep won't start, of course), but still really nothing to write home about.
On to the plot and the actual story. I'd read all about how it was so 'original' - wrong again! It begins with a blonde reporter who gets attacked by a psycho while covering a story. She talks to the police, then goes out for a rest at a getaway set up by a reasonably charming psychiatrist - needless to say, pretty much the whole town there is inhabited by werewolves. Now, let me tell you - the movie ran for two hours, but I wish I'd just started watching about 45 minutes in, because everything before that is stupefyingly boring. It can be summed up by "Wah, wah, bimbo's scared, gets comforted by boyfriend, lets go for a vacation." They wander around once they get there, and if you're looking for an even remotely spooky set in the wilderness, think again.
The action starts pretty much when the boyfriend gets bitten (while he's wandering around in the woods at night by himself, unarmed *eyeroll*). It lasts for all of 20 seconds, and he then stumbles back to their cabin. It's now too painful to recall this horribly boring movie, but let me tell you this: there's a cabin that's supposed to be scary, but the hides hanging on the wall just makes it look like a hunter lives there, though the wind chimes made of bones were a little unsettling. Also, even though they're bone, they still jingle as though they were metal chimes. Yea. Oh, while we're on the subject of out-of-place noises, when the werewolves howl, there's also a yowling cat howl in there too. Who knows.
Seriously, this movie is not even remotely scary, nor gory, if that's what you're looking for. The goriest thing I recall is when one of the women cuts off the arm of one of the werewolves with an axe, and that *may* inspire a nose-wrinkle of distaste, at best. (And no, I've never seen Saw or Hostel or any of those strictly gore/torture movies, so I'm not speaking from a severely desensitized POV). We gave up on trying to take this movie seriously about a half-hour in, and did what we do best when confronted by a movie this bad - we have our own little Mystery Science Theatre 3000 with it.
Anyhow, let me just warn you once more - this movie is REALLY bad! Honestly, I gave it three stars because I enjoyed immensely the scene, props, and acting in the bookstore scene, and for the abrupt improvement of the f/x in the 'trapped in the jeep scene'. I don't know why there's such a lack of werewolf movies, but if you need a fix, let me recommend American Werewolf in Paris (or London), or Underworld.
Lily C.A.T. (1987)
Pretty good movie!
I really enjoyed this movie, when I originally saw it on Sci-Fi's Anime week on Robot Carnival. I was upset to NEVER see this movie again, outside of the fact I taped it. It's very difficult to find, and a definite Anime classic. The animation was good, the story was fun (a rip-off of Aliens? What? Not sure where anyone got that idea). I'll say that, yes, most of the characters get killed off, but the alien in this film is inspired and truly horrifying. The way the faces morph out of the side of the thing, implying the alien has eaten the crewmembers' souls - wow. You never know where it's going to come out of next, and the plot twist with the crewmembers' cat and LILY cat (the Companies' spy) is inspired. The ending is left with only two characters left - hopefully they're compatible (though I will admit the Blond was very annoying), because it seemed very much as though they were headed towards an uninhabited planet to start a new life as the only survivors. I jump every time I see this movie, and I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys anime.