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Mortician (2021)
When you can't spell psychopath right, you have issues!
In the trailer they spelled psychopath wrong (they spelled it psycopath). But even that and being too dark at times, it could not be worse than Jack Tarmite.
I was wrong. It was worse.
Everything is wrong. The color bad. They look like they are bleeding or in blackface. It is out of focus. There is bad film grain. There is slow motion for no reason. The audio is bad. I could not hear anything. The acting is over the top or boring.
The plot makes no sense. They close down his funeral home and then he kills people? Why? Why does the mute guy vanish? What was the point of the robbers?
It is a 90 minute film, but it feels like 3 hours.
Don't waste your time.
Voorhees (2020)
Not a Jason film
Not a Jason film.
I say again, NOT A JASON FILM. Some guy is pretending to be Jason.
The kills are not Jason kills. Jason does not kill off screen.
The effects are good.
The acting is silly. Sex scene is poor.
The writing is not good. The ending is stupid.
This is only a Jason film to get people to watch.
It was free, but at the cost of my interest.
This is not a Jason film.
Jack Tarmite (2019)
They looses the plot
I give second chances, but this is worst than the first. The plot makes no sense. Why does Jack owe a debt? His uncle lost the money. Why did Jack make a deal with the devil to use an axe he already had? Why didn't he eat the uncle's flesh? If he dies, what happens to his soul? Why does if fast forward to the future? If he has to eat flesh to live, what will the blood do? There are word errors too. Site instead of sight, looses instead of lose. Best one has to to be you're a grotesgue murder. They can't spell Charlotte right either(spelled Charolette). It's out of focus, too dark at the end, and a guy looks right at the camera. The violin at the end sounds like someone was practicing. I can't believe they are making another one.
DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)
Love the game, love the ladies, don't love the movie
The game is fun, and I like watching hot girls in their panties, but I don't like this movie. It's stupid, and only Kane can fight. Eric Roberts is really old and he isn't best of the best anymore. Watch for fun.
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Nice cars but too slow
How can a movie about cars be so slow? The director must have been asleep at the wheel. There is nothing to rev up your engine, other than mean chick and hot sister. The cars look nice. I give it 3 stars because of the color and the two hot chicks.
The Ungulate (2019)
Who the hell made this?
Who the hell made this movie? No one knew what to do. The director is not a good director, and a worse actor. The camera guy really loves trees and rocks and things. The sound guy must have been deaf. The editor is a certified genius. He made a 70 minute movie take forever to end.
The best part is, if you go to sleep, the song at the end tells you everything. Another stroke of genius!
Paint running down the wall is more exciting than this movie.