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xnoybis
Reviews
Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)
doling out the invectives to critics
The problem, not just a, but THE problem with almost every single criticism this film has endured, is that they never show where the film is wrong. The critics of "Dude...?" cannot pinpoint what is wrong, and other go-betweens feel stupid or embarrassed for having laughed at this film. Personally, I think this film would have made Charlie Chaplin laugh himself silly. It's nonsensical, it's filled with drug-humor (this taboo alone doomed the film to cult status at best within the American audience) ... The reason this film is so denegrated by critics reflects (remarkably) its inverse: Schindler's List. Both of these films escape the truly critical eye for the viewer's guilt: with "Schindler's List" the viewer is either genuinely sympathetic or guilted into lauding it as a 'cultural event' while the viewer of "Dude...?" genuinely laughs in sympathy for similar situations, but is guilted into recognizing the stigma of drugs within polite society.
Both films have niche target audiences, but whereas the former is capable of transcending its target audience by guilting humanity into sympathy for a dramatized crime against humanity (i.e. if you cannot understand this you are inhuman), the latter is criticized for an equally accurate portrayal of two stoners in California whose lives are just plain weird.
Examine your perspectives before criticizing something as "bad". This film is funny and weird. I have no idea how to rate it--it is worth watching at least once. Furthermore--as confusing and less-interesting as an Igmar Bergman film is with alcohol, this film is all the funnier and involving for that consumption. Enjoy.
-Xnoybis
Erleuchtung garantiert (1999)
Beautifully rendered film about reconcilliation
Though I haven't seen a lot of John Casavetes' work, apart from
that, this is one of the best modern (read: 1985-present) uses of
8mm film that I've ever seen. This is one of those films you just
have to throw yourself into. I'm not drawing a parallel between the
two--at all!--but people who have seen 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'
will recall how by the end of the first episode you had no idea what
was going on, right alongside the principle character. This movie
has a similar feel--It's unsettling at first, but ultimately presents
itself as a curiously wonderful juxtaposition of warmth and
coldness; interrelation and alienation. Very few films are capable
of doing this well. Oh, and as a side note -- this is NOT one of
those aimlessly meandering art films hell-bent on using 8mm to
generate indie/underground credibility. In sum: a thoughtfully
rewarding film about two very different German brothers lost in
Japan and discovering a fine gray line dividing the point of no
return from the point just before it and overcoming that dualism.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
200 million dollars can only buy this?
This film sucks - so much that after downing a bottle of wine to
make it through a 2nd time with my brother who had yet the
misfortune of watching it, i couldn't even make it to the only
worthwhile element of the film - the arena battle scene. The script
is needlesly complex and pointlessly confusing. What is said is
said with too much gusto or too many misappropriated special
affects. Say what you might, but with that much money, George
Lucas can buy the lives and souls of a few decent writers - he
obviously is not up to the task. -xnoybis
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Overwrought, deleterious, long, boring, and other descriptive adjectives
First - I didn't really enjoy the first book. No matter how big a fan
you are of Tolkien, some little voice inside of you is screaming:
"the first book was really long and boring, and not much
happened." The first book was primarily history; setting the stage
for the following installments.
Regardless, I lined up with 11 friends at 10:30pm in freezing
weather to watch what we thought was going to be our money's
worth of special effects and cinematic story telling at its best. The
special effects were really good.
Not one of us enjoyed this film. It was incredibly long and boring,
much like its book counterpart, but everything that made the book
readable was not present in the film. Like character development.
What it all boils down to is this: Tolkien may have been a catalyst
for a new age of fantasy storytelling, but he himself is not a very
engaging writer, and the adaption for this screenplay is ever more
dreary and mind-numbing than its father. The books are hailed as
classics by idiots like me who stand in the rain at 12:01 in the
morning to watch the first showing. The series is interesting (the
elven language, the mythology et al), but the movie is not. If the
film becomes a 'classic,' it's because of fools who have stupidly
and blindly bought into the hype behind this juggernaut (like I did)
and by those nostalgic individuals who enjoy thinking wistfully
about the stories from their childhood. We all want our childhood
fantasies to be made real (maybe 'The Grinch' was the big
disappointment for a number of you last year) - at least I do, but
some stuff is just better left to the imagination.
The landscapes are beautiful insofar as they shot almost
everything on location in New Zealand. The cities are majestic; the
good guys are definitely good; the brave warriors hardy and brave;
and the evil guys are totally evil down to where they decided to
build their little fort.
A casual side note - some of the casting was just plain deplorable;
I kept hearing "Mr. Anderson" at the end of every line Hugo
Weaving spoke as Elron.
Don't try too hard to want this movie to be excellent, or good, or
even average. It's not. In my eyes, the book is better, but both are
boring. Spend your money as you see fit, but if you want a quality
film, I'd currently recommend Amelie or Bread and Tulips.
-xnoybis
Ocean's Eleven (2001)
luke-warm-hand Luke kinda thing
This film was totally flat. The plot was there, the acting tried hard, but in the end, it was a bunch of supposedly cool people trying too hard to act cool. And it sucked. Another clock-watcher. 7/10 For the cinematography and the music, and pieces of well-structured dialogue, though their execution was taxing, and the jokes were void.
Six-String Samurai (1998)
One of 2 films in this genre
I can think of only one other film to compare this to: The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension. Six String Samurai throws you head-first into a world with little to no explanation as to what's going on and demands that you allow yourself to believe its physics. This explains the love/hate relationship viewers seem to have with it.
If you enjoy an oddity, feel good, rock and roll-action-cannibalism film (don't let anything by Troma come into your mind; that it most certainly is not anything of the like) then rent this little jewel.
*Bonus points for having a katana-toting elvis presley waging guitar-war with death in a *death*-metal band.
8/10
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
Glamour without a whole soul
There are so many book to movie adaptations that have failed to meet the grand expectations of their predecessors we could go on counting forever. Nearly. Harry Potter is quite unique in how well it follows the father plot to the T. Therein lies its greatest fault; Harry Potter the movie is a testament as to why most science-fiction and fantasy books will never see the silver screen: they have way too much stuff going on for a cohesive time slot, even at 2 1/2 hours.
Even with all of the effects, the casual viewer and the book-thumper sense that something is missing. There is a whole lot going on, but there isn't much feeling behind it. Whereas other films (Six-string Samurai and Buckaroo Bonzai) have managed to carry their obsurd worlds quite nicely, Harry's is hackneyed and stilted, leaning heavily on the reader to fill in the blanks like a ridiculously long mad lib.
This film is so difficult to rate as a result of the above. Yes, I really enjoyed the books, but no, the film is a clock-watcher at times.
Overall, 7/10