Reviews

New Earth, the first episode of the second series of the Doctor Who revival, seems to have fans split - those who feel it an extremely disappointing start to the Season, or those who enjoy the humour and imagination of this entertaining episode. I fall in the second caterorgy.

The episode opens quickly, showing David Tennant's 10th Doctor and Billie Piper's Rose arrive on New Earth, where they soon find themselves in a Hospital run by Cat Nuns (Chris Chibnall could never think of that in his dreams). However, soon they discover old enemy Cassandra has returned, and that the seemingly innocent Cat Nuns have a despicable plot to keep all diseases in place.

David Tennant is the perfect Doctor, but Billie Piper steals the show hear when she is (spoiler) possessed by Cassandra, leading to a stream of self-deprecating hilarity, and Zoe Wanamaker is once again brilliant as Cassandra (when she's not possessing other characters). Meanwhile, the sinister patients of the Cat Nuns and the horrific human farm will get the kids hiding behind the sofas, before the comical body-swaps reappear and they're back on the couch laughing.

The effects are largely good. New Earth itself is a bit wonky now-a-days, but in its day it prorbaly looked incredible. The make-up is amazing, espically the Cat Nuns, who fully look like Cats / human hybrids, much more than the new Cats film. The make-up on the diseased 'flesh' patients is also sickening. The music is also soild, through that's usually the case.

It's still flawed, through - the plot is nothing new, and the ultimate story resolution with all the medicines is... not that logical. Also, despite it being mostly soild, the effects have a few terrible moments - take the cat falling down the shaft, for example - and the Face of Boe's appearance is a bit bizzare. But New Earth is still a funny, occasionally quite scary episode that is worth a watch if you want a light-hearted, fun time.

Best Momment: Anything with Rose/Cassandra. Best Lines: "Goodbye trampoline, hello blonde!" "I'm a chav!" Overall Rating: 7.6/10

Rewatch: possibly.

Following the release of the widely acclaimed, Iconic, beloved Star Wars Original Trilogy, a Prequel Trilogy was set to made, spanning the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker and written and directed by George Lucas. The first in the series was released in the summer of 1999... and the rest is history.

Needless to say, the film was a huge disappointment for fans. The script was stale, the characters flat, the pacing sluggish, the humour childish, the story convulsed, the tone all over the place... it was a box-office success, but a huge misfire in the heart of the fanbase, and the following two prequels - Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith - suffered for it. However, time has been slightly kinder to it, and now most fans are split whether the film is good or the worst movie ever. What do I think?

The Phantom Menace has a great opening. Yes, you can complain about the stereotypical Trade Federation Leaders and the horrifically political title crawl, but otherwise its a good start. It introduces the fact that the Emperor from the Original Trilogy is controlling the Federation quickly, and there are some neat effects in the sequence. Qui Gon Jinn and Obi Wan Kenobi stealthing their way round the Trade Federation Ship is enjoyable, and, while the normal Battle Droids are disable, the Droidekas are undeniably cool, with their Shields and machine guns overpowering even the Jedi. Too bad they showed up only once more in the entire film.

Once they get down to the planet of Naboo, which is being invaded, they meet Jar Jar Binks, a Gungan who was brandished from his city and also potentially the most hated fictionial character of all time. I wouldn't go that far - espically after the harrashment the actor Ahmed Best received - but he is still irritating, and gets far too much screen time for the screaming comic relief.

Anyway, they meet Boss Nass, the Gungan leader who is hilarious in all the wrong ways, and a chase through the planets core ensues. The chase is pretty good, if you ignore Jar Jar screaming,and the music is wonderful. They then go to the city of Theed and meet Queen Amildala (Natalie Portman... or Keira Knightley?), escape with her in a spaceship, get hit and need to land on the desert planet Tatoonie from the original films. Also R2-D2 is introduced, but he does so little in the film you kind of forget.

The Tatoonie section is a drag. Jake Lloyd as Anakin is okay for a child actor (although the idea of a cute child Darth Vader is terrible) but Watto is a terrible, irritating character. The Pod Race scene doesn't do it for me either, and I also get bored when watching. That said, we are now introduced to the saving grace of the film... Darth Maul.

Darth Maul is just amazing. He is the definitive example of a Villian who makes a huge impression based on only a tiny bit of screen time, and every scene with him is amazing. His voice is brooding, his acrobatics are incredible... he's just a truely memorable Antagonist. The quick fight he gets with Qui Gon is just a taste of what's to come.

Then we get to Courscaunt for the infamous 'Politics and Talk and Politics and Talk' section, which features lots and lots of... Well, Politics and Talk. Yoda is also there so... theres something. At least I can say my favourite Star Wars character is in this movie.

So the films been sluggish up to this point. Maybe a great Third Act could redemm it slightly? Wel, that's what happens. The Third Act is split into 4 sections - the Gungan Battle, Anakin's space dogfight, the Queens guards taking the Palace and the Holy grail of lightsaber fights... Duel of the Fates.

The Gungan Battle and Anakin's dogfight are irritating and boring, and, although the Queen taking back the Palace is entertaining, it's still quite dull. So why is this Third Act so good? Duel of the Fates is the obvious answer. Every frame of this fight is majestic. The environments are colourful, the choreography incredible, the performances great... it valances everything out so well. It's a masterpiece of a sequence, with a masterpiece of a soundtrack.

Qui Jon's funeral is pretty sad, and a great way to end the film. Expect the ending of the film is a big Gungan March with Boss Nass being given a magical Orb. Thrilling.

So, do I hate the Phantom Menace? No. Do I like the Phantom Menace? Well, mabye a bit. Do I think it's great? Certantky not, but I still find much to enjoy amid the wooden script and poor plot. The sound effects are amazing in every way - a positive all three prequels have - and the soundtrack is thrilling. Liam Neeson gives a decent performance, and the backdrops are nice, espically the Colourful Naboo ones. But it's just too dull. The characters are dull, the story is dull, the acting is dull... it's not the most enjoyable Star Wars film, even if I have seen it many times. Its a complete 50/50 mixed bag, but some of the good stuff - is best of the franchise stuff. It's just the bad stuff bogs it down. But, overall, the Phantom Meance is a middling entry in the series and probably my least favourite, but I still quite like it besides that.

Content Advisory: Non-stop fantasy/Sci-Fi violence (shooting, lightsabers, etc.) normal for Star Wars. A central character is stabbed through the chest, and another is cut in half and falls down a pit. Despite this, there is no blood. Darth Maul and Darth Sidious are scary for younger children, and the Pod Race scene is quite intense for kids. Still, lighter than most Star Wars films.

Best Momment: Duel of the Fates, obviously. Worst Mommemt: Jar Jar is farted on. Best Quotes: "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent..." "NOO!"

Final Rating: 5.2/10

(This review contains some spoilers.)

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade has the best script, the best action and the best characters of all the Indy films. Raiders of the Lost Ark is good too (and Temple of Doom is horrific), but Last Crusade shines the brightest of the original three, mainly because of the pitch-perfect father and son chemistry between Sean Connery and Harrison Ford.

The plot sees Indy (Ford) once again involved in a global quest to find a mythical MacGuffin - this time being the Holy Grail, which is by far the best of the Indiana Jones items (far more fleshed out than the Ark of the Covenant, and far more interesting than the Sankara Stones). However, this time he has to also journey with his dad, Henry Jones (Connery), and evade the Nazis, who, of course, want the power for themselves. Indy and his dad have to battle Germans, survive booby-traps and tie-up personal issues if they want to stop the evil forces from claiming the cup of everlasting life...

Right off, the opening (like the two films before it) is thrilling and enjoyable, and gives our titular protagonist some backstory. After that, we are introduced to Walter Donovan (Julian Glover), a wealthy art collector who hires Indy to find the Grail. We end up in Venice, and after meeting Dr. Elsa Schneider (Alison Doody), we are immediately thrust into a eerie search in an underground catacomb, followed by a high-speed chase through Venice docks. And the pace and action never let up from here.

At the start of the Second Act, we finally are introduced to the film's biggest asset - the heartwarming and humour-filled chemistry between Connery and Ford. There is also a fourth-wall joke in this, as Connery of course played James Bond, and the Indiana Jones series was inspired by the British spy's adventures. Back to the film, and the entire middle act is made up of non-stop action and wit, from a Austrian Castle, to a Mountain-side chase, to Berlin, to a Zeppelin, to a Plane chase and, finally, the huge tank chase through the desert.

It is some of the most entertaining action stuff in the world, although if Connery was not here it would not be half as good. As the ending closes in, it is surprisingly (and brilliantly) not more action - after all, after the Tank chase another big fight would finally lead to utter exhaustion. Instead, the climax is emotion-driven, with Indy racing through the booby-traps of the Grail, in order to save his father. The traps are clever and twisty, and the ultimate resolution ties up all loose ends. And, of course, we get another horrific villain death in the form of, this time, rapid ageing and disintegrating. Great stuff, and it didn't have to be as graphic and disturbing as Temple of Doom to do it.

The main villain is, ultimately, weak, and the plot is serviceable but a little everywhere, but Last Crusade by far my favourite of the trilogy (although I can understand the grand-standing opinion that Raiders is better, and the idea that Temple could be considered better is outrageous). The brief love-story may stumble, but the near-perfect script, acting and action are impossible to beat. The pacing is swift and fluid, the variety in locations is everywhere, the comedy is brilliant and witty, and, of course, the pairing of Connery and Ford as father and son is just amazing. Most of the film is them together, and there is never a dull moment. A well-deserved 9.0 out of 10.

Content Advisory: Sex: Some kissing, love story. Violence: Lots and lots, but mostly light, several instances of blood (through far less frequent than Raiders and Temple). A man is beheaded near the end, and many explosions. The tank chase has three brief instances of injury detail. Scare factor: The Venice catacombs scene is filled with rats and skeletons, and is dimly lit, making it eerie. The traps at the end are perilous, and the villains death is rather disturbing and horrific. Other than that, slightly tamer than Raiders and miles less scary than Temple. Swearing: Damn, one incorrect use of Jesus Christ (which is then called blasphemy by the characters in the film). Other: Mild smoking, mild drinking. Deals with Nazism, through lightly.

Best Quotes: "He choose... poorly." "I'm sorry son... they got us." "My son would not be so stupid... wait, you did?" "No ticket!"

Best Moment: The Grail Knight at the finale. Worst Moment: Elsa and Indy's love scene.

Thank you for reading.