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Reviews
The Acolyte (2024)
Not even space can extinguish the fires at Disney
At its core, "The Acolyte" promises an intriguing premise: exploring the dark side of the Force during the final days of the High Republic era. Yet, despite this promising foundation, the series falters almost immediately due to its weak and inconsistent writing. The narrative is riddled with clichés and uninspired dialogue, which strips away any potential depth or nuance.
Fans of the Star Wars franchise deserve better than this lackluster offering, and it is a shame to see such a rich universe squandered by a show that fails to deliver on almost every front.
If "The Acolyte" is any indication of the direction future Star Wars projects might take, then the galaxy far, far away is in dire need of a course correction.
Silo (2023)
Starts good but gets unwatchable after that real fast
Silo is an unfortunate combination of an unlikable girl boss main character, absolutely horrible writing and consistently poor acting.
The first few episodes are in fact intriguing, but things shift to the worse at about episode 4 and by episode 8 Silo is barely watchable. The acting gets progressively worse too, which is a shame considering the expensive cast that visibly struggle with the material delivering their cringy lines. I don't understand how can this screenplay be approved at all. Does Apple not habe money to hire real writers? It's such a shame wasting millions and talents like Rebecca Ferguson and Tim Allen for this.
From Stress to Happiness (2020)
Painful to watch
I am aware of Matthieu Ricard and his mission and this was the reason to watch this documentary. Unfortunately it was very painful to watch and ultimately a waste of time with no real payoff in the end.
Most of the film is the film maker and his wife whining to Matthieu and other monks about how "stressful" their life is. Not only that, they also keep interrupting the monks as they try to give them an advice. Pretty annoying to watch.
The film feels like a student project shot with a shaky handheld camera. Editing is disjointed lacking any cohesive narrative.
But the worst offence is that the movie has no story or payoff. It is a about an entitled film maker that crashes an organized trip to Patagonia to make it all about himself and his petty problems.
The only redeeming thing was of course Matthieu Ricard and his lighthearted wisdom, but there's just not enough of him to justify investing 1 hour into this documentary.
Oppenheimer (2023)
An overrated snoozefest
I'm just coming from the cinema and boy, was this a drag. Long, dull and unexciting. You had one job, Nolan, do a great a-bomb explosion. Show, don't tell us how powerful it is. Show, don't tell us about the devastations in Japan. Show, don't tell us how remorseful Oppenheimer is after the bombings. It's all talk and nothing visually exciting to warrant a cinema visit. I'm not surprised by the low box office results of this movie. Sure, it's filmed well, lots of stars in it, but it's the wrong movie to make, it is very boring and way too long. We were 11 people, everyone was disappointed and one of the girls feel asleep multiple times, while others, including me, were constantly looking at their watches.
Anyway, you are warned. Now I'm getting back to studying Sanskrit.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Don't believe the haters, the music score was a blast...
In an attempt to discredit dissatisfied fans and critics, studios often label them as "the haters," "review bombers," or "trolls." However, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Disappointment takes this strategy to the extreme, to no avail. Despite the inflated scores, a closer look at the number of votes reveals the truth: hardly anyone is watching this movie. And it's not difficult to understand why.
Regrettably, I didn't have the luxury of skipping this film as I had a soon-to-expire coupon for a nearby cinema. Even with the benefit of watching it for free, I found it to be a complete waste of time. It effectively deconstructed a beloved character, leaving Indiana Jones helpless and miserable. Furthermore, the film introduced yet another abrasive, all-knowing, strong, and independent female character who lacks both flaws and depth. This portrayal is far from what the iconic Indie character deserved and undermines his legacy.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Disappointment fails to capture the spirit and essence of the franchise, leaving audiences disappointed and unengaged. The misguided character choices and lackluster storytelling only serve to tarnish the legacy of this once-beloved series. Save yourself the disappointment and seek out the original films to truly appreciate the legacy of Indiana Jones.
Night Sky (2022)
Interesting idea ruined by absolutely horrible script and pacing
This show starts slow and gets worse with each episode. But I like JK Simmons, and the acting in the beginning was fine, so I decided to stick with it, hoping for a payoff in the end. But no, the writing of the last two episodes was so utterly bad.... Plot conveniences, boring flashbacks, cringy lines, character decisions devoid any reason or consistency... And filler, a lot of filler.
3/10 (these three points are for JK Simmons giving his best to save this mess)
P. S. Also I don't know why, but I really disliked Sissy Spasek's character.
Red Notice (2021)
Wasted potential
Great cast, top locations, expensive CGI and a bad, really bad script.
I'm astounded to see Netflix getting their priorities backwards again. I hope next try, they will start with a story with telling and then figuring out the numbers.
Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind (2020)
The longest App advertisement
I personally find the ET phenomenon fascinating. The last two years, due to an unknown virus from a lab origin, I spent countless hours binging "documentaries" and lectures devoted to the paranormal - so I know crazy and I admit I may have concerns about my own sanity as well.
That being said, my newly emmerged delusions haven't degraded my sense of BS yet, and this movie is a proof of that.
The thing that makes this movie absolutely unbelievable garbage, is its inconsistencies and its countless ways to manipulate you. The first thing that strikes you "OMG I am totally going to regret that" is the first image "proofs" that they show. They contain simple light tricks, anyone, and I mean ANYONE, with a mobile phone and a flashlight can recreate in a heartbeat. No post-production needed. The video footage was also mostly meteorit showers and some questionable grainy nonsence, that I can throw in After Effects in 30 minutes.
By the end, the purpose of this mess became finally clear - we created a protocol together with an alien galaxies far away, so we can contact and summon them at will to our location and have some grainy selfies together. Wanna try it out? Wanna be an "interstellar embassador" that even the CIA would envy? Yes? Great, here, buy our mobile app and attend some of our expensive meetups in the desert, so we could learn about long-exposure photography together.
"Interstellar" (3/10)
P. S. I gave it 3 points, because I did find some comedic value in it, though it was an overall waste of time.
The Wheel of Time (2021)
"The Wheel of Cringe"
This was a waste of time. 8 episodes of bad CGI, painfully cringe acting, unattractive actors, incoherent narrative and lots of wokeness.
I haven't read the books and I can't comment if this mess is "faithful" to the source material. I certainly hope not.
The Motive (2020)
Is Netflix buying student projects now?
What a waste of time. Horribly edited, lacks any narrative, structure or satisfying conclusion. I regret watching it.
Now, you could say the story is somewhat interesting, but it is nowhere as mysterious as they want it to be. This is not the first time a psychopathic child murders their family for "no apparent" reason. Even his defence lawyer said that the child wanted the verdict to be "manslaughter", and not "murder", so that he could inherit the family possessions. Is this not a motive? After getting the reduced manslaughter sentence, he says "life starts at 20", implying he will get out of prison and start living on a blank slate with the money and properties his family had. He never showed any regret or remorse. What a mystery.
Death to 2020 (2020)
A fitting cringe fest to end 2020
A missed oppurtunity considering the cast and director. Instead of the promised sarcasting mockumentary, we got an hour long cringe fest that tried on the surfacer to be nonpartisan, but failed miserably at that as well. The "jokes" and the fictional characters were flat.
P.S. I give a bonus point just because I am in a good mood that 2020 finally ended. Also I think I laughed once.
No, seriously, it's bad.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Man are bad, mkay?
I loved the first Wonder Woman movie and was looking forward to this sequel. Unfortunately "Wonder Woman 1984" ist devout of coherent story and character development, and instead opts in political commentary, bad CGI and questionalble character decisions.
We watched in on Christmas and regreted we didn't watch "Home Alone" instead.