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Girl from Nowhere (2016)
Movie that goes Nowhere
Don't waste your time. Most of the reviews drone on about the amazing visuals and landscape, which doesn't make up for awful characters. Katherine and Hugh pick up a sarcastic hitchhiker. Within 30 seconds, the girl talks like an A-hole. It is unrealistic that a couple with a successful career(s) and marriage and wealth would feel compelled to keep this girl in their car, given how awful she talks to them.
What transpires through the rest of the film is basically Poison Ivy in South Africa, done before. Katherine and Hugh act like idiots. Why is Katherine so eager to buddy up with this stranger who is obviously seducing her husband? Why is Hugh so eager to pass over his attractive wife for this rude chick? He doesn't care when she calls him a "stupid man."
Ridiculous waste of the location. I'm sure the reviewers giving it an 8 or 10 are cast and crew. If you're reading this Visser, Cooper, Speirs, your movie is trash.
The Nun II (2023)
The Nun 2 is a worthy sequel!!
As a Conjuring franchise fan and a huge fan of The Nun, I can honestly say that I really enjoyed The Nun 2.
We get to find out what happened to Sister Irene and Maurice after the first Nun movie. No spoilers at this point, but the scary scenes were REALLY terrifying. Valak seems a lot more angry and visceral. I am happy to report that there's more of a story in this one, and REAL characters this time. In the first Nun movie, Sister Irene is talking to people that we discover are not really there...that does NOT happen this time. All of the characters are real in this one.
MILD SPOILERS:
Sister Irene has to solve a mystery, with a search for a holy relic that includes a scene that reminded me of the map room scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Sister Irene and Valak both want the power of a holy relic, which also reminded me of Raiders of the Lost Ark and reminded me of the search for the Holy Grail in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Maurice develops new relationships and there is a satisfying ending (no spoilers).
A cool connection is made between Sister Irene and Lorraine Warren.
Overall I give it a 9/10. There were fewer scenes with Sister Irene and Maurice together, which makes me like the first Nun movie a bit better.
But I liked The Nun 2 better than The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It and Annabelle Comes Home.
Captive (2023)
Don't waste your time.
Don't waste your time. I love Scout Taylor-Compton and I loved her in Rob Zombie's Halloween 1 and 2 but I'm still waiting for get a decent role in a fantastic movie. This is not it.
A group of young adults break into a rich couple's house to party. But that scenario works if they're teens and live with their parents; these characters are all in their twenties and have their own places, why would they risk arrest to break into someone's house? Lots of plot holes.
Scout Taylor-Compton's character complains about her boyfriend (like she did in the beginning of "The Long Night"), and the group finds a man chained in the basement. They release him and find out he's a vampire, whom Scout Taylor-Compton falls in love with. Not a bad premise, but then it's just routine vampire carnage.
A very mediocre story. If they're going to put Scout Taylor-Compton in a vampire movie, they need an original story and plot like Lost Boys or Fright Night or 30 Days of Night. Captive feels routine and mediocre in EVERY way.
Don't waste your time. It's not fun. It's not titillating. It's not funny. It's not intriguing. Great effects and music but it's boring and routine.
Halloween II (1981)
The best sequel in the Halloween franchise!
Halloween 2 (1981) is a superior sequel to the iconic slasher movie. Halloween 2 is great because it gives you what you loved about the original Halloween, and then some! In Halloween 1 you got likable, relatable characters like Laurie, Annie, Lynda, Bob, as well as the authority figures like Dr. Loomis and Sheriff Brackett. In Halloween 2 you have Laurie and Sheriff Brackett and Dr. Loomis, but you also have Bud and Nurse Karen and Jimmy and Mrs. Alves and the other nurses and they were all likable characters, with a sense of humor and personality.
Halloween 2 also ups the body count and suspense. In Halloween 1, Michael hid behind trees and behind the laundry room door. In Halloween 2, the hospital provided limitless dark places for Michael to hide, and who can forget the fiery finale with Laurie literally shooting Michael's eyes out and Dr. Loomis and Laurie working together to blow up Michael Myers. Halloween 2 has the best ending to a Halloween movie in my opinion, because at the end of Halloween 1, Laurie needed Dr. Loomis to come to her rescue and shoot Michael for her. At the end of Halloween 2, Laurie takes the gun, while Loomis is on the ground injured, and she is the one who shoots Michael.
Halloween 2 is beloved by millions of Halloween fans, many Halloween fans think that Halloween 2 is the best Halloween sequel, and there are some Halloween fans that think the Halloween 2 is actually better and more enjoyable than the original Halloween. I would agree. Happy Halloween! :)
Clerks III (2022)
I laughed, I cried...but the ending sucked!
I saw Clerks 3 last night in the cinema and I had to give a review. I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan, I love just about all of the View Askew movies. My favorites are Clerks, Clerks 2, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Chasing Amy and Jay and Silent Bob Reboot.
When I watched Clerks 3 I was immediately struck (SPOILER ALERT) that Rosario Dawson's character Becky and her child were killed off before the beginning of the events of this movie! What?!? Rosaria Dawson had been a part of the advertisement and promotion of this movie, even pictured standing next to Randall and Dante in the Quick Stop, so it was a little bit of false advertising in those images on social media, since Becky is here only as a spirit who occasionally visits Dante to encourage him.
Randall and Dante still own the Quick Stop and they are near 50 years old. The movie begins with a downer because Dante is still mourning the loss of his wife and child, much like the beginning of the 6th Rocky movie, Rocky Balboa. But unlike the Rocky series, we never got a chance to see Dante as a husband or a father. Whereas Clerks 2 ended on a note of a hopeful future (Dante marrying Becky and going to have a child), Clerks 3 begins with death.
Dante has no Becky and no child, and he's back with Randall at the Quick Stop debating religion, Star Wars, and any other pop culture reference. There is lots of funny dialogue if you're a Clerk's fan, and I laughed out loud with my audience.
(SPOILER ALERT) Randall suffers a severe heart attack, and survives, and decides to do something with his life which means to become a Kevin Smith-like director and create a movie about his and Dante's experiences over the years. Cue all the cameos. I won't go through the whole movie scene by scene, I will just say that I laughed and I laughed some more, and I cried, which was unexpected for me and for a lot of hands who are commenting online.
Here is the biggest (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Dante gets drunk because he is grieving the loss of Becky so much, and Randall is unsympathetic. Randall has one interest and that is to make his movie, and that makes Dante angry and Dante goes on a long, angry rant against Randall, which leads to Dante also having a heart attack. I understand that Kevin Smith wants to say something significant and special to his fan base regarding his own near fatal heart attack, but really!?? BOTH of the main characters have to suffer a heart attack in the same movie?? Really Kevin??? Randall shows Dante the finished product of his movie on his laptop, right before Dante dies. That's correct . Dante dies!! (Sigh)
The film ends with Randall burying Dante at a very poignant funeral scene. This to me was the biggest negative of this movie. Imagine they bring back the Friends TV show for one last episode, and imagine Monica and her twins died in a car wreck, Chandler is grieving, his friends try to console him, and then he dies of a heart attack before the end of the episode, and imagine Joey Tribbiani then has to live the rest of his days alone. That would be a huge downer, and that's how I felt at the end of Clerks 3.
(SPOILER ALERT) The very last scene has Randall running the Quick Stop with Elias and Jay and Silent Bob, but Randall is sad, and the spirit of Dante literally appearing next to him does not comfort him, and did not come for me. So I enjoyed watching the movie, I laughed, I cried, but the beginning and ending this movie on a note of death was a huge letdown for me. Dante's life-long struggles for all these years just to lose his wife, his child, and then to die by 50. Smith is capable of creating original and unique stuff (i.e., Clerks, Clerks 2, Chasing Amy, Dogma) but a lot of this movie is nothing but fan service and appeal to nostalgia, which most fans seem to love, but I had expected something more, something better, maybe Dante and Becky raising their child and Randall falling in love, I don't know.
I have to give it a 3 out of 5, and I wish I could give Clerks 3 a higher rating. Randall and especially Dante and Becky deserve better. :(
The Batman (2022)
Trying too hard to out-dark the Dark Knight
Just finished watching.
The film sees The Batman facing off against The Riddler who plans to unleash devastation across the city!
**MILD SPOILERS**
I found the film to be boring, depressing & most importantly, too long at a staggeringly bad, 2 hours & 47 minutes. The dark tone while fitting was a bit too dark for its own good! Even the story itself was pretty blah and bleak.
Much like the 90s Batman films, the hero's name is the title but the story is not about Batman....it's about Falcone and Selina and the Penguin and mostly it's about this Jigsaw version of Riddler. Joker is actually about Joker/Arthur Fleck. This movie really isn't about Batman/Bruce Wayne, except for about 20 minutes in the middle when Bruce grapples with his father's true character. Batman is constantly reacting to the Riddler, much like in the 90s Batman movies.
Pattison was alright for Batman, but it was as if Edward Cullen was playing Batman....silent, brooding, emo, uninteresting, flat. Reminded me of Brandon Routh's Superman in Superman Returns in terms of being wooden and dull.
All of the actors did fine, but it tries to be a detective story (with a Riddler who reminds you of Jigsaw and Seven) and an action/hero movie and a love story, and it just didn't engage me on any level....not enough to warrant almost 3 hours.
Why did Riddler allow himself to be captured? In Seven it made sense, but here it doesn't. In the end he throws a hissy fit in his cell....but he allowed himself to be caught!!
The Penguin scenes were great and I like this Penguin more than Danny Devito's sewer-dweller.
Zoe Kravitz was fine but I didn't buy the love interest angle.
The ending climax was okay but not nearly as fun and heroic as the finale of Batman Begins.
It just felt like they were trying to conjure up Dark Knight vibes and I just didn't feel like Pattison's Batman was all that impressive. I wonder what this movie would have been with Ben Affleck's ominous Batman.
The soundtrack, like most of the aspects of this movie, was fine, but not amazing. Not as good as Dark Knight soundtrack or even Danny Elfman Batman (1989) music.
Overall, it's heavily overrated! It's too long, too boring & dull to the core with a weak story-line that's stretched to breaking point! Not as good as the Dark Knight, not as good as Batman (1989) or Batman Returns, and not even in the same league as Batman Begins or Ben Affleck's Batman.
4/10.
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
"They're back from the dead and READY TO PARTY!"
One of the most fun, funny, and enjoyable horror movies of the 80s and of all time!
Every character has personality, thanks to the great actors. It's a clever sequel to The Night of the Living Dead with a lighter, more comedic tone, not unlike Texas Chainsaw Massacre part 2.
The music is fun, the relationships between the characters have surprising depth for an 80s zombie movie, and the story/script is well thought out.
What can I say? The Return of the Living Dead is a cult classic and is more entertaining than 90% of today's films.
Is it the best zombie movie ever? "That's not a bad question, Burt!" :)
10/10.
Monstrous (2020)
Monstrous Nonsense!
There's a scary Bigfoot scene in the beginning and the end.
But most of the movie is a lesbian relationship and human drama, with lots of rambling, boring dialogue.
Skip. You're better off watching 'Exists' (2015)
The Coven (2022)
Lords of Salem meets The Shining and Wrong Turn cult
I love Scout Taylor-Compton and was looking forward to this film.
This movie borrows from The Shining, Wrong Turn remake (with the mysterious cult), Lords of Salem, and Rosemary's Baby. I swear The Shining composers Wendy Carlos and Rachel Elkind could sue as the musical piece you hear when Grace and Jack drive into the small town is almost EXACTLY the opening music of The Shining.
The first 30 to 45 minutes start off good and promising! While searching for the parents she's never known, Grace (Scout Taylor-Compton, Rob Zombie's Halloween) has come to the South with her vanilla boyfriend Jack (Nolan Gerard Funk) to track down information about her family. A man named Mr. Caldwell invites the couple to his home and offering to share his research about Grace's family. But when Grace and Jack get there, he's nowhere to be found. There's a snake in the kitchen, and then Grace steps on broken glass, and then the car won't start, leaving them stranded. And then a satanic cult show up, and then Mr. Caldwell's brother Wayne (Jeff Fahey) shows up. The mysterious cult might be involved quite intimately in Grace's past, led by The Master (Deborah Kara Unger from the Silent Hill movies).
But this is where it gets muddled and goes downhill as Grace runs into the woods and has satanic cult hallucinations or memories (i.e, Heidi in Lords of Salem) and then the cult confronts Grace and tells her that she is the key to some satanic, apocalyptic event. Anything creepy or scary seems borrowed from other films. The satanic cult seems borrowed from the new Wrong Turn 2021 remake. The confrontation between The Master and Grace was so similar to the conversation between Jack Torrance and Mr. Grady in the bathroom scene in The Shining.
The biggest problem is that NONE of the characters are developed enough for us to care about them.
So there's nothing to spoil in the ending since the last 20 minutes make no sense whatsoever. Like I said, I love Scout Taylor-Compton but she deserves horror movies with better writers.
So I give this movie five stars, for Scout Taylor-Compton, for Jeff Fahey, for Deborah Kara Unger, for a creepy atmosphere, and for creepy music.
That's it.
It's no better or worse than Lords of Salem.
Jason Rising: A Friday the 13th Fan Film (2021)
A CUT ABOVE THE REST! Our original final girls are back!
This is definitely a superior Friday the 13th fan film. Jason is awesome! The actor playing Jason looks and moves exactly as Ted White, the Part 4 Jason.
All of the actors did a great job! I love the kills. The atmosphere is haunting and excellent looking. The actress who played Pamela was great and looked similar to Betsy Palmer. The music is spooky! It was a first to see Jason use a chainsaw and get injured by a chainsaw.
What makes this fan film a cut above the rest (pun intended) was the return of Alice Hardy and Ginny Fields. I absolutely LOVED Adrienne King back as Alice, and the cameo of Amy Steel with Dr. Ginny Fields. It makes more sense that Alice lives, and the beginning of Friday the 13th Part 2 was just a dream sequence.
Two small criticisms: One thing that was a bit cheesy was Pamela running around with no head; that's more fitting in Evil Dead than Friday the 13th. Also, I would have loved MORE Alice and Ginny.
Overall, excellent Friday the 13th fan film! I hope you make more, especially with Alice and Ginny and this Jason actor. I really enjoyed it. I wish the cast and crew all the best!
The Jesus Music (2021)
Great CCM documentary but left some performers out
I absolutely love The Jesus Music documentary. I grew up during the 80s with Michael W. Smith, Amy Grant, Sandi Patti, DC Talk, etc. So it was interesting to learn about the 70s Jesus Movement and it was fun to see so many of my favorite CCM artists. Listening to Michael, Amy, Russ Taff, Bill Gaither talk about the good 'ol days was like having a long overdue conversation with old friends.
I didn't know about Stryper being so influenced by Jimmy Swaggart. Very interesting.
Having said that, I have to ask, what's the deal with not even mentioning Twila Paris? She was the first CCM artist I knew! Twila toured with Michael, Amy, Larnelle Harris, 4HIM, etc. During the Young Messiah Tour of the 90s. Twila Paris' hit song 'God is in Control' was hugely popular, and she doesn't even get mentioned??
Also, what about Carman? He broke records, and he's barely mentioned!?! I understand Michael and Amy are the King and Queen of CCM, but it was like Andrew Erwin and Jon Erwin have some problem with giving Carman his due, a sad decision given that Carman had just passed away a year or so ago.
What about 4HIM? Point of Grace? These groups were hugely popular and they didn't even get one second of screen time, yet we get lots and lots of DC Talk and Kirk Franklin. Not cool.
What about Petra? Petra got a passing glance while Stryper got LOTS of screen time?! Also not cool.
Other than that, The Jesus Music is a fun, nostalgic journey through contemporary Christian music which made me fall in love with the music AND Jesus all over again.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Not as good as Halloween 2, 4 and 6 or 2018
I wanted to like this movie. I enjoyed Halloween 2018 and I'm a huge fan of the original sequels. But unfortunately Halloween Kills does not live up to the hype.
***THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MILD SPOILERS, BUT NO MAJOR SPOILERS REGARDING KAREN OR ALLYSON. **
You probably already know that Tommy, Lindsay, Brackett, and Marian Chambers are all back. That's the good news. The bad news is (mild spoiler) most of these characters are only here to be killed off.
If you want to see Michael Myers brutally butcher random victims (like in Rob Zombie's version), then there's a whole lot in this movie that you will like.
If you want something original, forget it! This movie borrows heavily from Halloween 2 (the hospital scene) and Halloween 4 (a mob looking to kill Michael and killing the wrong one). There's a mob scene that reminds me of the end of 'Joker.' That's the ONLY thing remotely new in this movie, which is the main problem with this new trilogy....there really is nothing new to add to the Michael Myers/Laurie Strode saga that hasn't been done already in the original sequels, the Rob Zombie remake, the Zombie remake sequel, and Halloween 2018. There literally is NO more story to tell, so Halloween 2018 and Halloween Kills simply rehash plot points from the original sequels.
If you're looking for ANY KIND of a happy ending, there isn't one. This movie is not a good movie in and of itself, but a decent transition into Halloween Ends in 2022.
I will give this 4/10 stars.
One star for characters returning from John Carpenter's Halloween.
One star for brutal kills and genuine suspense.
One star for brilliant 1978 flashback scenes.
That's it!
HUGE letdown, and by the way (mild spoiler) Laurie Strode does NOTHING in this movie. Laurie is literally in the hospital the WHOLE movie with lots of good 'evil dies tonight' talk but no action.
Not as good as Halloween 4 and 6 or 2018, and not even in the same league as Halloween 2 (1981), a far superior sequel.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Not bad but underwhelming and way too long
Wonder Woman 1984, a movie that I wanted to like and I've anticipated very much watching on Christmas Day. The story is okay but the opening sequence of young Diana in the athletic competition serves little purpose, except perhaps to give Connie Nielsen and Robin Wright a paycheck.
The action sequences are good, although it looks as if the lasso has a mind of its own.
Whereas the first Wonder Woman movie felt new, fresh and unique, mildly inspired by Richard Donner's Superman the Movie, this movie feels like a patchwork of different movie scenes and plot points. The mall scene reminds me of Stranger Things, Maxwell Lord having the power of wish fulfillment and then creating chaos reminds me of Bruce Almighty, his son just wanting to spend time with him reminds me of Jim Carrey's son in Liar, Liar. Barbara becomes Cheetah in an evolution that reminds me of Michelle Pfeiffer's Selina Kyle becoming Catwoman in Batman Returns. There's a desert chase scene with tanks that reminds me of Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark, right down to Wonder Woman sliding underneath a vehicle.
We're supposed to believe that (spoiler alert) when Diana brought Steve Trevor back to life, Steve had to inhabit the body of some nameless guy. Why? That reminded me of Patrick Swayze's character in Ghost temporarily inhabiting Whoopi Goldberg's body to touch Demi Moore one last time. And then Steve rummages through this guy's closet to find adequate clothing for himself?
I get the appeal. Gal Gadot is beautiful. Yes. I get it. Everyone swoons for Gal. Yes, yes, I get it. But that's not enough to make this fun.
Not a bad movie but underwhelming and way too long. 3 out of 10.