Reviews

This film is just another bland sequel of a bland reboot. The writing is really dumb, and kind of childish with the way humans and dinosaurs must now co-exist. (Small nitpick, but there is a scene where the Mosasaur jumps a crabbing boat off the coast of Alaska, I'm pretty sure they swam only in warm waters). There are 100 plots in this movie:

1. With all the dinosaurs out in the wild, some people began to start illegally breeding them, and Clair and her gang want to stop it.

2. Little clone girl wants to go out into the world, but is regulated to a shack so she won't be spotted and have evil hillbillies come after her.

3. Because of said isolation, clone girl has a hard time with her adoptive parents (Clair and Chris Pratt)

4. Ellie Sattler investigates a swarm of giant locusts in the American Midwest and determine an evil corporation is behind them and teams up with Allen Grant to stop them.

5. Sattler and Grant fallin love again.

6. Oh no, clone girl gets kidnapped by hillbillies, sending fake parents to go on a globetrotting adventure to rescue her.

7. Clone girl's fake parents somehow run into Grant and Sattler.

This movie hired Grant and Sattler's actors for that good old nostalgia bait, also there are too many characters. We have 6 that we actually are about, the smuggler and the smart dude are useless. The villain is also trash. Remember when in the original Jurassic Park where the characters had to survive in a park that ran down because of the stupidity of a corrupt man? Now the villains have the marvel treatment, and are basically fought by the characters.

I also feel they use these movies to promote the realistic looking dinosaurs. If you want to make a movie with realistic dinosaurs, then make a documentary like walking with Dinosaurs, not some washed up garbage like this.

We knew we were in for a fun ride when Star Wars started releasing anti-racism nonsense about Moses Ingram. I'm sure she is a fine actress, however, her character was written terribly. Disney, a multi-billion dollar company couldn't hire writers who actually knew the source material (Dave Filoni or someone similar). We end up with a cannon breaking mess. The acting is pretty bad. The director is no doubt incompetent at his or her job. Good actors like Ewan McGregor are giving some pretty mediocre performances. The plot is able to operate under lazy plot convinces and really bad dialogue. However, there is worse.

The worst part about this show is how Obi-Wan didn't know about Anakin being Darth Vader until the second episode. It is almost like Revenge of the Sith never happened. Either Obi-Wan forgot the surveillance footage of Palpatine appointing Anakin as his apprentice, or the show writers never saw a second of the prequels. Also never mind the fact that the Grand Inquisitor survives a saber to the chest, and Riva surviving two with one of them being as a literal small child while Qui-Gon had two seconds of life after he got stabbed. But even this is not the show's great sin.

Obi-Wan is not the main character in his own show. Riva is the actual main character. She is able to overcome all odds because she is strong, anti-patriarchy, independent black women. Why else is she able to do such things? This is no attack on Moses. I'm sure she's a fine actress. It is the director to blame for the pathetic performances for all the characters. Congrats to Disney for creating another Jake Lloyd though young Leah. I hope she still keeps her young life unlike Lloyd who was crucified by the fan base after The Phantom Menace. All the new characters suck, and we're supposed to get invested into this one character introduced in ep. 3 when she dies, although she literally only had like 10 minutes of total screen time in the show. Also, speak of ignoring Revenge of the Sith, wasn't Obi-Wan supposed to train while watching over? Why did Obi-Wan loose his ability to the force like how Luke did in Last Jedi? Why does Anakin (Darth Vader form) and Obi-Wan meet prematurely?

DON'T ASK QUESTIONS, JUST CONSUME PRODUCT AND THEN GET EXCITED FOR NEXT PRODUCT!