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Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
All I See Is You (2016)
almost as exciting as watching paint dry
What a complete piece of trash, waste of time. Ranking up there for one of the worst movies ive ever seen in my life. Literally nothing happens in this movie. Guarantee every person watching this has a more interesting life than is portrayed here. Halfway through the movie i wanted it to end "just get divorced, problem solved, movie over" but no, this is an exercise in dragging things out and extending runtime for no reason. Good if you enjoy watching characters stare off into the distance for minutes at a time, and silent meaningless scenes & dialog that doesnt add up to anything. Save almost 2 hours of your life and skip this if you value your limited lifetime at all.
She Dies Tomorrow (2020)
brutally awful attempt at a pretentious artsy film
And even if they succeeded it would be pretentious and artsy but still awful. Zero plot, just stupid caricatures of people bumbling around saying "im gonna die tomorrow oh noooo" it's basically a movie written by a 10-year-old who just recently understood what death is.
How did this movie even get approved, how did it pass thru so many layers of scrutiny to actually be made??? And then to release this time-waster-o-matic 5000? I would have had more fun breaking open glow sticks and eating the insides.
Assassin 33 A.D. (2020)
you gota be a buzzkill hater to hate on this
Its just a fun adventure movie, as a "Christian movie" its actually pretty cool and edgy when they're usually corny and wholesome. Sure its bad acting and low budget but this was more enjoyable to watch than most big name, big budget movies on here with 4-5star ratings, so i dont think it deserves such a low rating. I could list countless higher rated movies that were 100x more boring and lame.
Without Name (2016)
prepare to spend 40 minutes watching slow zooms into trees
I could be an artsy filmmaker too i didnt know all it takes is slowly zooming into a tree or moss or grass every 5 minutes. Seemed interesting until about halfway or more in when you realize its not going anywhere and has no purpose or plot. Seemed very obnoxious and snobby with its overly tryhard attempt at artsy scenes and shots, with no plot or anything good that makes a movie.
It's ok to have playing in the background while you do other stuff since theres little to no dialog, just slow zoom-ins and slow zoom-outs. If you're paying attention to it, keep your finger on the skip button unless you enjoy staring at unmoving pointless pictures for minutes on end.
Plus the movie is so lame they don't even have a climax and instead replace it with flashing strobe lights as a cheap gimmick.
TLDR- its only a good film if you forgot what trees look like!
Danika (2005)
"if u didnt like this then ur not smart enough to get it" WRONG
This isnt a very deep or intellectual movie, does not require massive intelligence to understand and is not some super deep work of art, its just a movie and not challenging in any way. Reviewers saying these things are the same type of people that think "rick n morty is only truly appreciated by fellow geniuses" or other convoluted rationales for denying criticism. In actuality, this was just not very good. Its like the dunning-kreuger effect (google it), some people see a puddle and think its an ocean and are eager to see themselves as a genius for understanding it. When really its not hard to understand and is nothing special at all, its just a puddle. But we all want to think of ourselves as smarter than everyone else.
Desire Lines (2020)
curiosity leads to ... boredom?
Less entertaining than actually meditating. Guess im just not enlightened enough to enjoy this?
The woman's face at 50:35 was me the whole movie
at about halfway i realized nothing was gona happen the entire movie but unfortunately im too ocd to not finish a movie.
But i really wish i saw a review like this to save me 90mins. I coulda listened to a podcast and watched paint dry instead.
EDIT: PS. WTF THE MAIN CHARACTERS HEART-SHaPED NECK TATTOO CHANGES BETWEEN SCENES LOL sometimes its hollow other shots it has a peace sign in it .. how did no one notice that.
They Remain (2018)
Utter boring garbage
Not a slow burn just boring, fail at remaking an overly done idea. Mind bogglingly boring, I cant understand how anyone allowed this to be released. At the end of the movie you have gained, seen, enjoyed, absolutely nothing and are in the same space as when u started, might as well not have watched it at all. ONLY watch if you are trying to waste time in your life to die sooner, and watching paint dry is too exciting.