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Reviews
Fear No Evil (1981)
He juiced a dog
The devil is born into the body a weird twink high school played by a man in his 20's. There's something going on with anti-devil people being reincarnated. A combination of a too complicated plot and strange pacing made the story difficult to follow so I can't comment on it.
I can only recommend this movie if you really like B movies and have someone to watch this with. It's very strange in a way that only movies written and directed by the same person can be. It's confidently weird in its plot, art direction and weird acting. Oh, Jesus is in this movie too for some reason. This is the end of my review.
Bigfoot vs the Illuminati (2020)
Plausibly the worst movie I've ever seen.
I'm reviewing this from the perspective of a B-movie, i.e. 'so bad it's good'.
This might be the worst movie I've ever seen, and I've seen many, many b-movies. The film is entirely CGI and I'm pretty sure the CGI consists of entirely, or nearly all, free stock animations a la Unity or Unreal. The dialogue is bizarre and rambling and, plausibly (really), entirely, or in part, AI generated.
There isn't a plot. Things happen, but only vaguely and there isn't any plot progression to speak of.
Evil aliens are threatening to invade, the aliens are also the Illuminati, and a counter force of nice aliens and Master Chief ripoffs and Bigfoot wander around stock space station environs rambling in AI generated dialogue. That's the movie. There is no action. There are functionally no physical character interactions at all because that would require animating and this movie was made from solely free animations.
Think walking the halls and talking West Wing, but in a space ship; nothing happens and the dialogue was written by a robot.
If you are a normal person do not watch this. If you like b-movies, watch several minutes of this and then delete it. Don't stick it out because it does not improve.
Robotica Destructiva (2023)
Very fun b movie.
A fun movie made by a group of friends in someone's garage. Fun costumes, lots of silver body paint a coherent plot. The music reminds me of cyborg justice on sega genesis but is repetitive. I can recommend this if you're really high and/or a B-movie aficionado.
To fill out the rest of the required characters for this review I'll be posting part of the script from Twisted Pair, so please disregard:
A higher entity assigned us certain missions ...
... consistent in fighting for good and defeat evil in humanity using our higher powers.
Although we treated equally, and we are programmed identically,
my twin brother Cale did not succeed in their missions through the years.
The force finally decided to remove his powers ...
... and release it.
They extinguished the flame.
The final time I saw Cale broke my heart.
Despite being now humanoids still felt a bond and love him as my brother.
The force continued programming and developing systems for me.
Increasing my powers.
AI will reach a level of self-awareness,
You will be able to consider complex thoughts ...
... and have feelings.
The final human invention,
AI,
Artificial intelligence.
I was involved directly in my own transformation ...
... using all available science and superior technology.
Advances in AI force ...
... clearly they exceeded anything on Earth.
I approached a robotic humanoid state.
Synthetic brain power.
AI never replace the sheer majesty of nature.
While me deeper and deeper into a humanoid state over the years ...
... I never lost touch with the magic ...
... and majesty of nature,
and gifts he gave me.