Reviews

Let me begin this by saying that when the Twilight book first came out, some of my friends loved it, and I decided to buy and read it for myself. I finished Twilight feeling annoyed, pretty much dragged myself through New Moon, and didn't even try to read Eclipse or Breaking Dawn or whatever night-time-titled monster Meyer is planning to create.

Now, one of my friends had an extra ticket to a premiere of Twilight the movie, so I guessed, why not. I might actually like it now that we don't have to hear/read Bella's narration admire Edward's face/eyes/hair/breath/toenails time and time again (little did I know the film would include cheesy voice overs by a monotone Kristen Stewart straight from the novel).

To protect myself from the inevitable angry rages of hopelessly devoted Twilight fans, I will begin with the positive comments on this movie.

1. Pretty good visuals, nice colors.

2. Great soundtrack/music, especially when Edward plays the piano.

3. The actors playing the Cullens are all enjoyable, and because of their performances I grew pretty fond of the screen versions of Carlisle and Jasper.

4. They did a good job with the baseball game - when I read it in the book I just found it ridiculous.

Off to why I really wrote this review- to express my absolute hatred/disgust for the "acting skills" of Kristen Stewart. I don't understand all this raving over her performances, in this movie she was so unemotional and dead I thought she'd already been bitten by a vampire. And its not just the type of mediocre acting you can just brush away - her plain, expressionless face and deadpan voice was almost painful to watch in all of her scenes that were supposed to be dramatic. The only part it seems she put effort in to actually manipulate the muscles in her face or raise her voice was the last hospital scene, and even that didn't impress me that much. Yes, she did her job and screamed and writhed after James' bite, but couldn't I at least see those angry eyebrows tilt a little? Actually move? No Oscar for this one, folks.

The movie does its job to faithful novel fans by including real lines from the book itself and passionate, bubbling chemistry between the main characters Bella and Edward, so that probably made them not pay any attention to its flaws and declare this "PERFECT!!" or "D BEST MOVIE EVR!!!!!1!11!1"

Now I'm not telling everyone to hate this movie, I mean, if you enjoy it and like watching it, go ahead, I'm not complaining. But do not proclaim Twilight - The Movie as the best-created or best-acted or anything like that, because it's not true. Lastly, do not respond to this review in some irate, screaming, capitalized comment about how I'm stupid or I'm a loser for not liking Twilight, because I'm not even arguing with any fans.

I must warn you this review is heavy with spoilers, but not really that much about the ending or anything that'll ruin your watching it.

Let's begin with the good points so that I'm not eaten alive by close-minded teenybopper fans. The choreography is pretty good (especially the tango), and Selena Gomez is a surprisingly impressive dancer. Some moments are cute enough, and a few jokes I laughed at. This is a nice enough movie to watch and enjoy with girl friends, where you can try and figure out with character represents which element from the actual Cinderella story.

However, there's a lot more that I think the movie could've improved on. Not only was it the most predictable thing on earth (a talented young underdog rises to the top, blah blah) and I could figure out the rest of the plot from the first ten minutes, but it was also pretty much exactly the same as "A Cinderella Story" with different actors/characters. Some rich conceited stepmother and her two dimwitted daughters with some white-knight, goodhearted heroine who has to cook and clean while she sighs and waits for her celebrity-status Prince Charming to rescue her. You might say that its being predictable is expected, but this isn't Disney. With some of its jokes and slightly suggestive dance moves, Disney wouldn't lay a finger on such things for the screen. The movie should've at least tried to be a little more original.

I'm a little sad that they didn't elaborate on Mary's past with her mother. All we hear is a quick passing comment from her stepmother about how she used to be her backup dancer. But I guess that wasn't the point of the movie, so I won't complain too much.

Finally, Miss Gomez needs some work on her acting. I really appreciate her taking two months of dance class for this film, and it shows and entertains, but all she can do is stick to her preppy, girly "version" of acting she acquired from Wizards of Waverly Place. In fact (spoiler), there is a part where she supposedly runs home crying. Her stepmother says something along the lines of, "You look like you've been crying, or are your eyes naturally puffy?" She is met by a blank, non-expressive stare, without any tear stains on her face or at least some ACTUALLY PUFFY EYES. I guess that the age target of this movie wouldn't mind that much, though. But it could've been so much better while still entertaining its audience.

If I were to choose the most beautiful, heartwarming, tear-jerking episode of The Simpsons, it would be this one. Lisa finds part of herself through an unconventional teacher, and you can't help but cry along with Lisa as she reads that special note- "You Are Lisa Simpson." Bart also has his spotlight in the episode; he runs for class president and, being the Bart he is, he forgets to vote. Homer is there the whole time, and comforts all his kids (including sweet little Maggie) at the end. "Whoa, talk about parenting!" Lisa emotes wonderfully in Lisa's Substitute, and it really would be cool to have a teacher like Mister Bergstrom, who can teach that life is worth living. They could've had a strong friendship together, but as Mister Bergstrom states wisely, people you care about have to leave to care for other people. If he were real, he would've touched all, but he is saved for the prettiest, most deserving little girl of all- Lisa.

On a scale of 1 to 10, this is a 1,000,000.